Advertising
Advertising

5 Secrets to Being Confident and Earning People’s Respect

5 Secrets to Being Confident and Earning People’s Respect

It’s hard to wake up enthusiastic, or even indifferent, in the morning when you feel mistreated by people in your office, or by your friends or family. You need to understand that some people don’t know that they are hurting your feelings until you notify them they are doing so; just a small percentage of people are actually self-aware and empathetic enough to notice.

The secret lying behind positive relationships with people is in your attitude – the way you treat yourself and the way you treat those around you. By introducing the following changes in your life, you’ll be able to improve the quality of your life.

Take Good Care of Yourself

If you mistreat yourself physically by not taking proper care of your body – which is often very obvious – you’re giving everyone around you a good reason to disrespect you. If you don’t feel like you yourself are worthy of nourishment and attention, why should anyone else feel any different?

Advertising

Therefore, start by changing yourself. First of all, you need to establish a hygiene routine – and this one is a must – so you make yourself presentable. This can be interesting, because you have a chance to reinvent your style; you should explore different hairstyles, nurturing products for your skin, discover various new scents, and learn about ways to stop sweating if you have problems in that area.

This process can be frustrating, but if you look at this transition with positivity and enthusiasm to become a better person, you’ll be able to find out many new useful things and learn a lot about yourself.

Try to Be Genuinely Attentive

Advertising

    People are not divided into good and evil – we all have light and darkness in ourselves. Therefore, you shouldn’t be ashamed when you feel envy or anger, but you should strive towards recognizing those emotions, so you can find its roots and eventually exterminate them.

    So, when you’re communicating with someone, try to do it without having secret agendas, or don’t communicate at all. When you’re talking to someone, try to actually listen to what they have to say, and if you’re not in a position to help because a certain situation isn’t in your control, be a good listener and that will be enough. People are able to recognize insincerity, even if they are unable to put a finger on it, and this is something you should steer clear of.

    Work on Your Confidence

    Although we’re the most evolved species in the world, we function based on our primal instincts, and this is something you need to have in mind. One of those instincts is establishing dominance in your surroundings – I’m sure you’re familiar with at least one alpha specimen in your daily life.

    Advertising

    Not everyone is a born leader, and if that’s not your cup of tea, you shouldn’t force yourself to be someone you’re not. However, you can be above this animalistic order if you work on your confidence by getting to know your skills and your capabilities. The feeling of self-worth is exactly the thing someone’s confidence is based on, and if you’re in constant self-development your self-esteem can only go up.

    Kindness and Manners

      Our modern lifestyle often doesn’t leave much time for small pleasures and commodities such as politeness. I believe this is quite unfortunate, because people forget to be nice to each other’s and that’s a real shame. You’d be surprised at what kind of feedback you can receive if you become sincerely kind – saying thank you and really meaning it is enriching, and I’m absolutely positive you’ll make someone’s day by doing so.

      Advertising

      Don’t Allow People to Walk Over You

      Being good to people around you is one thing, but you mustn’t allow anyone to push you around. Offering your help to someone needs to be deserved, and you shouldn’t do anyone’s bidding if you don’t want to. Your free time is at your disposal and you need to spend it well; this is just another way to establish respect toward yourself, and everyone around you will follow your example.

      All these changes are a matter of mindset; in order to introduce them to your life, it’s quite necessary for you to be persistent and disciplined. No one said this is an easy transition, but if you do make it, you’ll develop strong will along the way, and you’ll wake up in the morning ready for all the challenges that may come your way.

      Featured photo credit: http://stokpic.com/project/woman-standing-on-red-rocks-celebrating-success/ via pexels.com

      More by this author

      Nemanja Manojlovic

      Editor at MyCity Web

      How To Workout Without a Gym And Get a Killer Gym Body 10 Things To Remember If You Love A Sociopath The Smart Ways to Save Money Fast (Even If You’re a Big Spender) 5 Secrets to Being Confident and Earning People’s Respect 10 Sustainable Health And Fitness Habits Everyone Can Adopt

      Trending in Communication

      1 How to Say No When You Know You Say Yes Too Often 2 20 Excuses Most People Make That Stop Them From Reaching Their Dreams 3 5 Real Relationship Goals You Should Actually Strive Toward 4 When You Learn A Second Language, These 7 Amazing Things Will Happen To You 5 15 Things To Stop Doing If You Want To Be Truly Happy

      Read Next

      Advertising
      Advertising
      Advertising

      Last Updated on January 24, 2021

      How to Say No When You Know You Say Yes Too Often

      How to Say No When You Know You Say Yes Too Often

      Do you say yes so often that you no longer feel that your own needs are being met? Are you wondering how to say no to people?

      For years, I was a serial people pleaser[1]. Known as someone who would step up, I would gladly make time, especially when it came to volunteering for certain causes. I proudly carried this role all through grade school, college, even through law school. For years, I thought saying “no” meant I would disappoint a good friend or someone I respected.

      But somewhere along the way, I noticed I wasn’t quite living my life. Instead, I seem to have created a schedule that was a strange combination of meeting the expectations of others, what I thought I should be doing, and some of what I actually wanted to do. The result? I had a packed schedule that left me overwhelmed and unfulfilled.

      It took a long while, but I learned the art of saying no. Saying no meant I no longer catered fully to everyone else’s needs and could make more room for what I really wanted to do. Instead of cramming too much in, I chose to pursue what really mattered. When that happened, I became a lot happier.

      And guess what? I hardly disappointed anyone.

      The Importance of Saying No

      When you learn the art of saying no, you begin to look at the world differently. Rather than seeing all of the things you could or should be doing (and aren’t doing), you start to look at how to say yes to what’s important.

      In other words, you aren’t just reacting to what life throws at you. You seek the opportunities that move you to where you want to be.

      Successful people aren’t afraid to say no. Oprah Winfrey, considered one of the most successful women in the world, confessed that it was much later in life when she learned how to say no. Even after she had become internationally famous, she felt she had to say yes to virtually everything.

      Being able to say no also helps you manage your time better.

      Warren Buffett views “no” as essential to his success. He said:

      “The difference between successful people and really successful people is that really successful people say no to almost everything.”

      When I made “no” a part of my toolbox, I drove more of my own success, focusing on fewer things and doing them well.

      How We Are Pressured to Say Yes

      It’s no wonder a lot of us find it hard to say no.

      From an early age, we are conditioned to say yes. We said yes probably hundreds of times in order to graduate from high school and then get into college. We said yes to find work, to get a promotion, to find love and then yes again to stay in a relationship. We said yes to find and keep friends.

      We say yes because we feel good when we help someone, because it can seem like the right thing to do, because we think that is key to success, and because the request might come from someone who is hard to resist.

      And that’s not all. The pressure to say yes doesn’t just come from others. We put a lot of pressure on ourselves.

      Advertising

      At work, we say yes because we compare ourselves to others who seem to be doing more than we are. Outside of work, we say yes because we are feeling bad that we aren’t doing enough to spend time with family or friends.

      The message, no matter where we turn, is nearly always, “You really could be doing more.” The result? When people ask us for our time, we are heavily conditioned to say yes.

      How Do You Say No Without Feeling Guilty?

      Deciding to add the word “no” to your toolbox is no small thing. Perhaps you already say no, but not as much as you would like. Maybe you have an instinct that if you were to learn the art of no that you could finally create more time for things you care about.

      But let’s be honest, using the word “no” doesn’t come easily for many people.

      3 Rules of Thumbs for Saying No

      1. You Need to Get Out of Your Comfort Zone

      Let’s face it. It is hard to say no. Setting boundaries around your time, especially you haven’t done it much in the past, will feel awkward. Your comfort zone is “yes,” so it’s time to challenge that and step outside that.

      If you need help getting out of your comfort zone, check out this article.

      2. You Are the Air Traffic Controller of Your Time

      When you want to learn how to say no, remember that you are the only one who understands the demands for your time. Think about it: who else knows about all of the demands in your life? No one.

      Only you are at the center of all of these requests. You are the only one that understands what time you really have.

      3. Saying No Means Saying Yes to Something That Matters

      When we decide not to do something, it means we can say yes to something else that we may care more about. You have a unique opportunity to decide how you spend your precious time.

      6 Ways to Start Saying No

      Incorporating that little word “no” into your life can be transformational. Turning some things down will mean you can open doors to what really matters. Here are some essential tips to learn the art of no:

      Advertising

      1. Check in With Your Obligation Meter

      One of the biggest challenges to saying no is a feeling of obligation. Do you feel you have a responsibility to say yes and worry that saying no will reflect poorly on you?

      Ask yourself whether you truly have the duty to say yes. Check your assumptions or beliefs about whether you carry the responsibility to say yes. Turn it around and instead ask what duty you owe to yourself.

      2. Resist the Fear of Missing out (FOMO)

      Do you have a fear of missing out (FOMO)? FOMO can follow us around in so many ways. At work, we volunteer our time because we fear we won’t move ahead. In our personal lives, we agree to join the crowd because of FOMO, even while we ourselves aren’t enjoying the fun.

      Check in with yourself. Are you saying yes because of FOMO or because you really want to say yes? More often than not, running after fear doesn’t make us feel better[2].

      3. Check Your Assumptions About What It Means to Say No

      Do you dread the reaction you will get if you say no? Often, we say yes because we worry about how others will respond or because of the consequences. We may be afraid to disappoint others or think we will lose their respect. We often forget how much we are disappointing ourselves along the way.

      Keep in mind that saying no can be exactly what is needed to send the right message that you have limited time. In the tips below, you will see how to communicate your no in a gentle and loving way.

      You might disappoint someone initially, but drawing a boundary can bring you the freedom you need so that you can give freely of yourself when you truly want to. And it will often help others have more respect for you and your boundaries, not less.

      4. When the Request Comes in, Sit on It

      Sometimes, when we are in the moment, we instinctively agree. The request might make sense at first. Or we typically have said yes to this request in the past.

      Give yourself a little time to reflect on whether you really have the time or can do the task properly. You may decide the best option is to say no. There is no harm in giving yourself the time to decide.

      5. Communicate Your “No” with Transparency and Kindness

      When you are ready to tell someone no, communicate your decision clearly. The message can be open and honest[3] to ensure the recipient that your reasons have to do with your limited time.

      Advertising

      How do you say no? 9 Healthy Ways to Say “No”

        Resist the temptation not to respond or communicate all. But do not feel obligated to provide a lengthy account about why you are saying no.

        Clear communication with a short explanation is all that is needed. I have found it useful to tell people that I have many demands and need to be careful with how I allocate my time. I will sometimes say I really appreciate that they came to me and for them to check in again if the opportunity arises another time.

        6. Consider How to Use a Modified No

        If you are under pressure to say yes but want to say no, you may want to consider downgrading a “yes” to a “yes but…” as this will give you an opportunity to condition your agreement to what works best for you.

        Sometimes, the condition can be to do the task, but not in the time frame that was originally requested. Or perhaps you can do part of what has been asked.

        Final Thoughts

        Beginning right now, you can change how you respond to requests for your time. When the request comes in, take yourself off autopilot where you might normally say yes.

        Use the request as a way to draw a healthy boundary around your time. Pay particular attention to when you place certain demands on yourself.

        Try it now. Say no to a friend who continues to take advantage of your goodwill. Or, draw the line with a workaholic colleague and tell them you will complete the project, but not by working all weekend. You’ll find yourself much happier.

        More Tips on How to Say No

        Featured photo credit: Chris Ainsworth via unsplash.com

        Reference

        [1] Science of People: 11 Expert Tips to Stop Being a People Pleaser and Start Doing You
        [2] Anxiety and Depression Association of America: Tips to Get Over Your FOMO, or Fear of Missing Out
        [3] Cooks Hill Counseling: 9 Healthy Ways to Say “No”

        Read Next