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If You Understand These 5 Rules In Psychology, You Can Live A Much Easier Life

If You Understand These 5 Rules In Psychology, You Can Live A Much Easier Life

Understanding the psychology of ourselves and others around us can play a huge part in our happiness. We are all suffering from limiting beliefs gained from past experiences and interactions with others inhibiting the ease with which we live our lives. Whether it’s believing we aren’t good enough because we’re told we should be at a certain point in our lives by a certain time, bringing about feelings of failure, or simply misunderstanding others’ intentions or reactions to us, we need to get into a better mindset that will straighten out our perceptions and limit the amount of negativity that we see and think about ourselves.

Making a habit of using these psychological rules is crucial to living an easier life and will help you to see the world in a whole new light.

1. People Don’t Care As Much As You Think

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    It may sound harsh, but essentially it’s true. Being so caught up in what others think of us or acting in a way that will meet (what we think are) other people’s expectations is detrimental to us because everyone is wrapped up in their own problems and insecurities.

    It’s much better to try to keep this in mind, as most of what we believe people are thinking are only assumptions our own minds create based on past experiences or incorrect perceptions and interpretations. Being yourself without worrying what others think will go a long way in achieving personal happiness.

    2. We Are Constantly Changing Who We Are

    It’s easy to think that we are the same person we were ten years ago and will be thinking and feeling the same in another ten years, but we’re not. Our past, present and future selves are all essentially independent because our mindsets change with our lives’ circumstances and experiences.

    Because of this, we should always be true to our present selves when making decisions. We can never predict what our future self will think and feel, and everything that happened in the past was for our past selves. The power is all in the now.

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    3. Stop Comparing Yourself To Others

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      With social media pressuring many of us to post the best moments, it can be easy to start comparing ourselves to others’ seemingly ‘perfect’ lives. In real life, we still tend to show our best side to people rather than showing vulnerability out of fear of being judged or rejected.

      The truth is we are all vulnerable. We all want to be accepted by others. It is a huge waste of time to believe that people are somehow better than us and have their life sorted out, while seeing us for who we really are. Comparisons and feeling inferior to other people is futile because even the most powerful people have worries, insecurities and uncertainties inside them.

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      4. Don’t Assume Your Advice Will Be Listened To

      Ever seen a friend’s glaring problem and know what they need to do to sort it out? You give advice but it just seems to fall on deaf ears. You feel frustrated because, after all, you just want to help them. The thing is, no one ever really listens to advice unless they happen to be in the right mindset at the right time.

      At the end of the day, people will only change their mindsets or outlooks through their own realisations and experiences. Sometimes it may come in the form of your advice but most of the time it needs to happen for them at their own pace. Don’t feel ignored or disheartened – you did your bit, now let them work it out.

      5. You Can Only Control Your Response

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        How you react to a problem, event or situation is much more important than the situation itself. In life, attitude is everything in how happy you become overall. You can choose to react in a way that will ricochet throughout your future thoughts, feelings and emotions or choose to acknowledge a better way.

        In any negative situation, this can be hard, but remembering to take yourself out of it for a few seconds and reset your mind before reacting can help you train yourself to understand the possible repercussions for others and yourself.

        Featured photo credit: Julian Jagtenberg via pexels.com

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        Jenny Marchal

        Freelance Writer

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        Last Updated on February 19, 2019

        Why a Life Without Pain Is the Guarantee to True Suffering

        Why a Life Without Pain Is the Guarantee to True Suffering

        No one wants to suffer. As a general rule, people like to avoid hurt and pain as much as possible. As a species, humans want a painless existence so much that scientists make a living trying to create it.

        People can now choose “pain-free” labor for babies, and remedies to cure back pain, headaches, body-pains and even mental pains are a dime a dozen. Beyond medicine, we also work hard to experience little pain even when it comes to loss; often times we believe a breakup won’t hurt as much if we are the ones to call it off.

        But would a world without pain truly be painless? It’s unlikely. In fact, it would probably be painful exactly for that reason.

        If people never experienced hurt, they wouldn’t know what it was. On the surface level, that seems like a blessing, but think for a moment: if we didn’t know pain, how would we know peace? If you don’t know you’ve hurt or been hurt, how would you know that you need to heal? Imagine someone only knowing they have an incurable cancer at the final stage because no obvious symptoms have appeared at early stages.

        Without the feeling of pain, people won’t be aware of dangerous situations—what should or shouldn’t do for survival.

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        Pain Is Our Guardian

        Pain serves to protect human beings from harmful actions. It’s the same reason parents teach babies that fire equals hot, and that hot equals hurt. Should the baby still place its hand in a fire or on a stove, the intense pain remains so memorable, that the child is certain never to repeat that action.

        In the same way, pain within human bodies can serve as a warning that something is not right. Because you know what it is to feel “well,” you know what it is to feel poorly.[1]

        Along with serving as a teacher of what not to do, pain also teaches you what you are made of in terms of what you can handle as an individual.

        While the cliche, “What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger” is a tired term, it’s used excessively for a reason: it’s true. Pain helps you learn to cope with life’s inevitable difficulties and sadnesses— to develop the grit it takes to push past hardships and carry on.

        Whether it’s a shattering pain, like the loss of a loved one or a debilitating accident, pain affects everyone differently. But it still affects everyone. Take a breakup as an example, anyone who has experienced it knows it can hurt to the point of feeling physical. Especially the first breakup. At a young age, it feels like the loss of the only love you’ll ever know. As you grow and learn, you realize you’re more resilient with every ended relationship.

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        No Pain, No Happiness

        You only know happiness when you have known pain. While the idea of constant happiness sounds nice, there is little chance it would be. Without the comparison to happiness, there’s no reason to be grateful for it. That is to say, without ever knowing sadness or pain, you would have no reason to be grateful for happiness.

        In reality, there is always something missing, or something unpleasant, but it is only through those realizations that you know to be grateful when you feel you have it all. Read more about why happiness and pain have to exist together: Chasing Happiness Won’t Make You Happy

        In a somewhat counter-intuitive finding, researchers found one of the things that brings about the most happiness is challenge. When people are tested, they experience a greater sense of accomplishment and happiness when they are successful. It is largely for this reason that low-income individuals can often feel happier than those who have a sense of wealth.[2]

        This is a great thing to remember the next time you feel you would be happier if you just had a little more cash.

        Avoiding Pain Leads to More Suffering

        Pain is inevitable, embrace it positively. Anyone who strives to have a painless life is striving for perfectionism; and perfectionism guarantees sadness because nothing will ever be perfect.

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        This isn’t a bleak outlook, but rather a truthful one. The messy moments in life tend to create the best memories and gratitude. Pain often serves as a reminder of lessons learned, much like physical scars on the body.

        Pain will always be painful, but it’s the hurt feelings that help wiser decisions be made.

        Allow Room for the Inevitable

        Learning how to tolerate pain, especially the emotional kind, is a valuable lesson.

        Accepting and feeling pain makes you human. There is no weakness in that. Weakness only comes when you try to blame your own pain on someone else, expecting the blame to alleviate your hurting. There’s a saying,

        “Holding on to anger is like drinking poison and expecting your enemy to die.”

        Think back to the last time you were really angry with someone. Maybe you were hurt because you got laid off from a job. You felt angry and that anger caused so much pain that you could feel it in a physical way. Being angry and blaming your ex boss for that pain didn’t affect him or her in any way; you’re the only one who lost sleep over it.

        The healthier thing to do in a situation like that is acknowledge your pain and the anger along with it. Accept it and explore it in an introspective way. How can you learn and grow? What is at the root of that pain? Are you truly hurting and angry about being laid off, or is the pain more a correlation to you feeling like you failed?

        While uncomfortable, exploring your pain is a way to raise your self-awareness. By understanding more about yourself, you know how to deal with similar situations in the future. You can never expect to be numb to difficult situations, but you will learn to better prepare financially for the loss of a job and be grateful for an income since you now know nothing is promised (no matter how much you work or how deserving you may feel).

        Pain Hurts, but Numbness Would Be Worse

        Pain does not feel good, but the bad feeling of it will help you learn and grow. It makes the sweet moments in life even sweeter and the gratitude more sincere.

        To have a happier and more successful life, you don’t learn from success or accomplishment, but through pain and failures. For it is in those moments that you learn how to do better in the future or at least cope a little more easily.

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        You are the strong person you are today because of the hardships this life has presented to you. While you may have felt out of control when those hard times came, the one thing you will always have control over is how you choose to react to things. The next time you hurt or you’re angry or sad, acknowledge it and allow yourself to ruminate in it. Then take a deep breath and start learning from that pain. You’ve got this!

        Featured photo credit: Stocksnap via stocksnap.io

        Reference

        [1] University of Calgary: Why is Pain Important?
        [2] Greater Good Magazine: The Importance of Pain

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