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5 Steps to Take The Day You Get Into a New Relationship

5 Steps to Take The Day You Get Into a New Relationship

Few things in life are as exciting and exhilarating as the first few weeks of a new relationship. There is something electrifying about learning to get to know someone and the unknown that often accompanies that process.

That being said, a large majority of relationships end much sooner than they would have if their participants had better nurtured them. Often it is not because those involved in the relationship were incompatible, but simply because one or both of them made a few basic mistakes. If those mistakes had been avoided, a flourishing relationship could have been created.

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Here are 4 things that every couple should do as soon as they start a new relationship in order to ensure its success.

Talk About Sexual Boundaries

There is a wide variety of viewpoints on sexual relations in a relationship, and it is virtually guaranteed that you and your new partner will have somewhat differing views on what those relations should be and when the different steps should be taken. Some people do not believe in sexual relations outside of marriage, while others prefer to wait until a certain number of dates. Even if you are both open to sexual relations, there are still boundaries to discuss. If you are frank and open, you will find that your partner appreciates your honesty and willingness to hold to whatever boundaries the two of you set.

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If you or your partner has been sexually active previous to your current relationship, then it is likely a good idea for you both to get some STD testing done. STDs often show up years later, and some of them can ruin lives.

Learn “Love Languages”

Everyone has a love language. For some people their love language is giving things to others. Other people prefer physical touch, yet still others prefer to spend time with those they love in order to express their feelings.

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The point is that we all have different love languages, and it is important to know what your partner’s is. You may discover that they are showing you love and you are not even realizing it. It is also important to know how to show love to those you are in a relationship with.

Identify Barriers To A Successful Relationship

Every relationship has barriers that you must overcome. The relationships that last find ways to overcome those barriers. It is important to be able to establish and identify barriers that may arise early in the relationship so that you can plan to overcome them.

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Some common barriers include the partner having an issue with family, ex-partners that keep popping into the relationship, friends, roommates, and more.

As you consider what barriers your relationship may face, try to consider what you are willing to do to overcome those barriers. Maybe you need to spend a little less time at work, or playing video games with your friends. Establish priorities and then stick to your guns.

Prioritize

This was mentioned briefly in the previous point, but it is extremely important to prioritize items in your relationship. That is not to say that your relationship needs to be your number one priority, especially at the beginning. Still, it is important to understand where your relationship lies in relation to other items in your life. Understanding this will be helpful when something that could potentially cause a relationship problem comes up; if you’ve prioritized prior to that moment, you will know what to do. Your priorities have already been set.

These four tips should always be taken into account at the start of a relationship. There are plenty of other important things, such as good communication, or showing your love, but these are a good start and can help build a good foundation for any relationship.

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Shelly Green

Entrepreneur writer and a blogger

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Last Updated on June 19, 2019

6 Ways to Be a Successful Risk Taker and Take More Chances

6 Ways to Be a Successful Risk Taker and Take More Chances

I’ve stood on the edge of my own personal cliffs many times. Each time I jumped, something different happened. There were risks that started off great, but eventually faded. There were risks that left me falling until I hit the ground. There were risks that started slow, but built into massive successes.

Every risk is different, but every risk is the same. You need to have some fundamentals ready before you jump, but not too many.

It wouldn’t be a risk if you knew everything that was about to happen, would it? Here’re 6 ways to be a successful risk taker.

1. Understand That Failure Is Going to Happen a Lot

It’s part of life. Everything we do has failure attached to it. All successful people have stories of massive failure attached to them. Thinking that your risk is going to be pain free and run as smooth as silk is insane.

Expect some pain and failure. Actually, expect a lot of it. Expect the sleepless nights with crazy thoughts of insecurity that leave you trembling under the covers. It’s going to happen, no matter how positive you are about the risk you are about to take.

When failure hits, the only options are to keep going or quit. If you expect falling into a meadow of flowers and frolicking unicorns, then you’re going to immediately quit once you realize that getting to that meadow requires you to go through a rock filled cave filled with hungry bats.

2. Trust the Muse

Writing a story isn’t a big risk. It’s really just a risk on my time. So when I start writing a story, I’m scared it will be time wasted. Of course, it never really is. Even if the story doesn’t turn out fabulous, I still practiced.

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When I’ve taken risks in my life, the successful ones always seemed to happen when I followed the muse. Steven Pressfield describes the muse,

“The Muse demands depth. Shallow does not work for her. If we’re seeking her help, we can’t stay in the kiddie end. When we work, we have to go hard and go deep.”

The muse is a goddess who wants our attention and wants us to work on our passion.

If you’re taking a risk in anything, it’s assumed that there is some passion built up behind that risk. That passion, deep inside you, is the muse. Trust it, focus on it, listen to it.

The most successful articles and stories I write are the ones I’ve focused all my attention on. There were no interruptions during their creative development. I didn’t check my phone or go watch my Twitter feed. I was fully engaged in my work.

Trust the muse, focus your attention on your risk, let the ideas and path develop themselves, and leave the distractions at the side of the road.

3. Remember to Be Authentic

Taking a risk and then turning into something you’re not, is only going to lead to disaster. Whether you are risking a new relationship or new opportunity, you must be yourself throughout the entire process.

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How many times have you acted like you loved something just because the men or woman you just started going out with loved it?

For example, I’m not an office worker. I have an incredibly hard time working in a confined timeline (ie. 9-5). That’s why I write. I can do it whenever the mood strikes, I don’t have somebody breathing down my neck, telling me that I’m five minutes late, or missed a comma somewhere. I don’t have to walk on eggshells wondering if what I’m writing will get me fired or make me lose a promotion. I can just be myself, period.

One girlfriend didn’t understand that. She believed solely in the 9-5 motto, specifically something in human resources because that was a very stable job. I was scared for my future, but I stuck with the relationship because of my own insecurities and acted like I would do it to make her happy.

Here’s a tip: NEVER take away from your happiness to make somebody else satisfied (note I didn’t say happy).

Making somebody else happy will make you happy. Doing something to satisfy somebody is murder on your soul.

4. Don’t Take Any Risks While You’re Not Clearheaded

I’d been considering the risk for a couple weeks. It all sounded good. I was 22 and I could be rich in a couple of years. That’s what they were selling me, anyways.

One night, while at a house party with some friends, I found myself at a computer. A couple of my friends were standing nearby and asked me what I was doing. I told them I was considering starting my own business and it was only going to cost me $1,500.

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Of course, when a bunch of drunk people are surrounded by more drunk people, things get enthusiastic. It sounded like the best business venture in the world to everybody, including me. So I signed up and gave them my credit card number.

A few painful months and close to $4,000 dollars lost later, I quit the business. I was young and fell into the pyramid scheme trap. It was an expensive drunk decision.

Drinking heavily and making decisions has a proven track record of failure. So when you have something important to decide, don’t let your emotions take over your brain.

5. Fully Understand What You’re Risking

It was the start of my baseball comeback. I got a tryout with a professional scout and killed it. After the tryout, he talked to my girlfriend and myself, making sure we understood I would be gone for up to 6 months at a time. That strain on the relationship could be tough.

We understood. I left to play ball, chose to stay in the city I played in, and a year later we broke up. Not because of baseball, see point 3 above. Taking big risks can have massive impacts on everything in your life from relationships to money. Know what you’re risking before you take the risk.

If you believe the risk will be worth it or you have the support you need from your family, then go ahead and make the leap.

You can get more guidance on how to take calculated risks from this article: How to Take Calculated Risk to Achieve More and Become Successful

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6. Remember This Is Your One Shot Only

As far as we know officially, this is our one shot at life, so why not take some risks?

The top thing people are saddened by on their deathbeds are these regrets. They wish they did more, asked that girl in the coffee shop out, spoke out when they should have, or did what they were passionate about.

Don’t regret. Learn and experience. Live. Take the risks you believe in. Be yourself and make the world a better place.

Now go ahead, take that risk and be successful at it!

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Featured photo credit: Unsplash via unsplash.com

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