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5 Steps to Take The Day You Get Into a New Relationship

5 Steps to Take The Day You Get Into a New Relationship

Few things in life are as exciting and exhilarating as the first few weeks of a new relationship. There is something electrifying about learning to get to know someone and the unknown that often accompanies that process.

That being said, a large majority of relationships end much sooner than they would have if their participants had better nurtured them. Often it is not because those involved in the relationship were incompatible, but simply because one or both of them made a few basic mistakes. If those mistakes had been avoided, a flourishing relationship could have been created.

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Here are 4 things that every couple should do as soon as they start a new relationship in order to ensure its success.

Talk About Sexual Boundaries

There is a wide variety of viewpoints on sexual relations in a relationship, and it is virtually guaranteed that you and your new partner will have somewhat differing views on what those relations should be and when the different steps should be taken. Some people do not believe in sexual relations outside of marriage, while others prefer to wait until a certain number of dates. Even if you are both open to sexual relations, there are still boundaries to discuss. If you are frank and open, you will find that your partner appreciates your honesty and willingness to hold to whatever boundaries the two of you set.

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If you or your partner has been sexually active previous to your current relationship, then it is likely a good idea for you both to get some STD testing done. STDs often show up years later, and some of them can ruin lives.

Learn “Love Languages”

Everyone has a love language. For some people their love language is giving things to others. Other people prefer physical touch, yet still others prefer to spend time with those they love in order to express their feelings.

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The point is that we all have different love languages, and it is important to know what your partner’s is. You may discover that they are showing you love and you are not even realizing it. It is also important to know how to show love to those you are in a relationship with.

Identify Barriers To A Successful Relationship

Every relationship has barriers that you must overcome. The relationships that last find ways to overcome those barriers. It is important to be able to establish and identify barriers that may arise early in the relationship so that you can plan to overcome them.

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Some common barriers include the partner having an issue with family, ex-partners that keep popping into the relationship, friends, roommates, and more.

As you consider what barriers your relationship may face, try to consider what you are willing to do to overcome those barriers. Maybe you need to spend a little less time at work, or playing video games with your friends. Establish priorities and then stick to your guns.

Prioritize

This was mentioned briefly in the previous point, but it is extremely important to prioritize items in your relationship. That is not to say that your relationship needs to be your number one priority, especially at the beginning. Still, it is important to understand where your relationship lies in relation to other items in your life. Understanding this will be helpful when something that could potentially cause a relationship problem comes up; if you’ve prioritized prior to that moment, you will know what to do. Your priorities have already been set.

These four tips should always be taken into account at the start of a relationship. There are plenty of other important things, such as good communication, or showing your love, but these are a good start and can help build a good foundation for any relationship.

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Shelly Green

Entrepreneur writer and a blogger

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Last Updated on December 10, 2019

5 Smart Reasons to Start Journal Writing Today

5 Smart Reasons to Start Journal Writing Today

Here’s the truth: your effectiveness at life is not what it could be. You’re missing out.

Each day passes by and you have nothing to prove that it even happened. Did you achieve something? Go on a date? Have an emotional breakthrough? Who knows?

But what you do know is that you don’t want to make the same mistakes that you’ve made in the past.

Our lives are full of hidden gems of knowledge and insight, and the most recent events in our lives contain the most useful gems of all. Do you know why? It’s simple, those hidden lessons are the most up to date, meaning they have the largest impact on what we’re doing right now.

But the question is, how do you get those lessons? There’s a simple way to do it, and it doesn’t involve time machines:

Journal writing.

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Improved mental clarity, the ability to see our lives in the big picture, as well as serving as a piece of evidence cataloguing every success we’ve ever had; we are provided all of the above and more by doing some journal writing.

Journal writing is a useful and flexible tool to help shed light on achieving your goals.

Here’s 5 smart reasons why you should do journal writing:

1. Journals Help You Have a Better Connection with Your Values, Emotions, and Goals

By journaling about what you believe in, why you believe it, how you feel, and what your goals are, you understand your relationships with these things better. This is because you must sort through the mental clutter and provide details on why you do what you do and feel what you feel.

Consider this:

Perhaps you’ve spent the last year or so working at a job you don’t like. It would be easy to just suck it up and keep working with your head down, going on as if it’s supposed to be normal to not like your job. Nobody else is complaining, so why should you, right?

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But a little journal writing will set things straight for you. You don’t like your job. You feel like it’s robbing you of happiness and satisfaction, and you don’t see yourself better there in the future.

The other workers? Maybe they don’t know, maybe they don’t care. But you do, you know and care enough to do something about it. And you’re capable of fixing this problem because your journal writing allows you to finally be honest with yourself about it.

2. Journals Improve Mental Clarity and Help Improve Your Focus

If there’s one thing journal writing is good for, it’s clearing the mental clutter.

How does it work? Simply, whenever you have a problem and write about it in a journal, you transfer the problem from your head to the paper. This empties the mind, allowing allocation of precious resources to problem-solving rather than problem-storing.

Let’s say you’ve been juggling several tasks at work. You’ve got data entry, testing, e-mails, problems with the boss, and so on—enough to overwhelm you—but as you start journal writing, things become clearer and easier to understand: Data entry can actually wait till Thursday; Bill kindly offered earlier to do my testing; For e-mails, I can check them now; the boss is just upset because Becky called in sick, etc.

You become better able to focus and reason your tasks out, and this is an indispensable and useful skill to have.

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3. Journals Improve Insight and Understanding

As a positive consequence of improving your mental clarity, you become more open to insights you may have missed before. As you write your notes out, you’re essentially having a dialogue with yourself. This draws out insights that you would have missed otherwise; it’s almost as if two people are working together to better understand each other. This kind of insight is only available to the person who has taken the time to connect with and understand themselves in the form of writing.

Once you’ve gotten a few entries written down, new insights can be gleaned from reading over them. What themes do you see in your life? Do you keep switching goals halfway through? Are you constantly dating the same type of people who aren’t good for you? Have you slowly but surely pushed people out of your life for fear of being hurt?

All of these questions can be answered by simply self-reflecting, but you can only discover the answers if you’ve captured them in writing. These questions are going to be tough to answer without a journal of your actions and experiences.

4. Journals Track Your Overall Development

Life happens, and it can happen fast. Sometimes we don’t take the time to stop and look around at what’s happening to us at each moment. We don’t get to see the step-by-step progress that we’re making in our own lives. So what happens? One day it’s the future, and you have no idea how you’ve gotten there.

Journal writing allows you to see how you’ve changed over time, so you can see where you did things right, and you can see where you took a misstep and fell.

The great thing about journals is that you’ll know what that misstep was, and you can make sure it doesn’t happen again—all because you made sure to log it, allowing yourself to learn from your mistakes.

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5. Journals Facilitate Personal Growth

The best thing about journal writing is that no matter what you end up writing about, it’s hard to not grow from it. You can’t just look at a past entry in which you acted shamefully and say “that was dumb, anyway!” No, we say “I will never make a dumb choice like that again!”

It’s impossible not to grow when it comes to journal writing. That’s what makes journal writing such a powerful tool, whether it’s about achieving goals, becoming a better person, or just general personal-development. No matter what you use it for, you’ll eventually see yourself growing as a person.

Kickstart Journaling

How can journaling best be of use to you? To vent your emotions? To help achieve your goals? To help clear your mind? What do you think makes journaling such a useful life skill?

Know the answer? Then it’s about time you reap the benefits of journal writing and start putting pen to paper.

Here’s what you can do to start journaling:

Featured photo credit: Jealous Weekends via unsplash.com

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