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Learning These 10 Lessons In Your 20s Can Make Your 30s Easier

Learning These 10 Lessons In Your 20s Can Make Your 30s Easier

Our twenties are one of the most exciting times in our lives, but also the most bittersweet. It’s a time when we are finding our places in the world, finding out who we truly are, deciding in what direction we want our careers or lives as a whole to go. It’s a time when the most mistakes are made- mistakes that are crucial for determining and refining what happiness means to us. These are sometimes harsh lessons to learn.

Figuring out how the world works and what your place is in it can be either a steep or gradual learning curve for those in their twenties. It needs to be faced no matter how hard it is. With that in mind, here are 10 lessons we should learn in our twenties that will make the journey through our thirties much smoother.

1. Appreciate every person in your life

Never take anyone for granted, especially those who are looking out for you and your best interests. Appreciate them and keep them close. Even the people who do you wrong are there to show you contrast and make you a stronger person. Appreciate what they’ve taught you and let them go.

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2. There’s never a perfect moment to start

When we’re young we feel that we have all the time in the world and we make excuses to start things when the timing feels more perfect. The fact is, there’s never going to be a perfect time. Whatever it is, act now. There may never be a better moment.

3. Growth comes from leaving your comfort zone

Feeling comfortable is nice but that’s how you get stuck in life. Make a habit of doing things that feel uncomfortable and you will notice the abundance of growth it adds to your life.

4. Never stay in a broken relationship

Holding on to a relationship or person that doesn’t feel good or is causing you pain will never allow you to move on and meet the people who are meant to be in your life. If it’s continually not working, stop trying to fix it. Let go and move on.

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5. Perseverance is the key to success

We live in a world where we want to get everywhere fast but true success comes with perseverance and patience. Dedication to your goals and dreams will be much more fulfilling than achieving something quickly and frivolously.

6. Stop focusing on improving your weaknesses

No one is perfect and everyone has their flaws. Don’t waste time focusing and improving weaknesses but instead attend to your strengths. Most of the time what we perceive as weaknesses aren’t actually weaknesses at all.

7. Happiness comes from within

Stop searching for happiness outside of yourself. Whether it’s a relationship, a big salary, or the latest gadget, none of these can bring you lasting happiness. They only enhance what you’ve already created within yourself.

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8. Your online friends are fake

O.k., not all of them, but having 700 friends doesn’t make you popular. It just means you have many acquaintances who would never honestly care about you in your hour of need.

9. Studying doesn’t end once you finish formal education

Never stop learning. Continuing to access knowledge and expand your thoughts and ideas on a new subject- whether it’s learning a new language or reading up on the history of your city- is crucial for personal development and keeping your mind ticking.

10. Prepare to get your heart broken a few more times

Heartbreak isn’t the best feeling but it’s inevitable and necessary to move you along the path towards finding that perfect person. Appreciate what the person has shown to you, take only good from it, and use it to refine what you want in your next relationship.

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Featured photo credit: unsplash.com via pexels.com

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Jenny Marchal

A passionate writer who loves sharing about positive psychology.

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Last Updated on June 24, 2019

Why Social Media Might Be Causing Depression

Why Social Media Might Be Causing Depression

A study [1] published in Depression and Anxiety found that social media users are more likely to be depressed. This was just one of the huge number of studies linking social media and depression[2] . But why exactly do platforms like Facebook and Instagram make people so unhappy? Well, we don’t know yet for sure, but there are some explanations.

Social Media Could Lead to Depression

Depression is a serious medical condition that affects how you think, feel, and behave. Social media may lead to depression in predisposed individuals or make existing symptoms of depression[3] worse explains[4] the study above’s senior author Dr. Brian Primack. So, the problem may not be in social media per se, but how we use it.

Signs You’re Suffering From “Social Media Depression”

If you feel like social media is having a negative impact on your mood, then you may be suffering from “social media depression.” Look for symptoms like:

• low self-esteem,

• negative self-talk,

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• a low mood,

• irritability,

• a lack of interest in activities once enjoyed,

• and social withdrawal.

If you’ve had these symptoms for more than two weeks and if this is how you feel most of the time, then you are likely depressed. Although “social media depression “is not a term recognized in the medical setting, social media depression seems to be a real phenomenon affecting around 50% of social media users. As explained in a review study[5] published in Cyberpsychology, Behavior, and Social Networking, if a person has a certain predisposition to depression and other mental disorders, social media use may only worsen their mental health.

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Social Media Could Crush Self-Esteem

We know that social media and depression are in some way linked, but why is this so? Well, according to Igor Pantic, MD, Ph.D.[6], social media use skews your perception about other people’s lives and traits. To explain this further, most people like to portray an idealized image of their lives, personal traits, and appearance on sites like Facebook and Instagram. If you confuse this idealized image with reality, you may be under the false impression that everyone is better than you which can crush your self-esteem and lead to depression. This is especially true for teens and young adults who are more likely to compare themselves to others. If you already suffer from low self-esteem, the illusion that everyone has it better off than you will just make you feel worse.

Causing Social Isolation and Other Negative Emotions

Another commonly cited reason for the negative impact of social media on mental health is its link with social isolation. Depressed people are more likely to isolate themselves socially and chose only to interact indirectly through social media platforms. But communication online tends to be superficial and is lacking when compared to real-life interaction explains Panic. What this means is not that social media leads to isolation but the other way around, possibly explaining why we find so many depressed persons on these sites.

Lastly, social media use may generate negative emotions in you like envy, jealousy, dislike, loneliness, and many others and this may worsen your depressive symptoms.

Why We Need to Take This Seriously

Both depression and social media use are on the rise according to epidemiological studies. Since each one has an impact on the other, we have to start thinking of healthier ways to use social media. Teens and young adults are especially vulnerable to the negative impact of social media on mental health.

Advice on Social Media Use

Although these findings did not provide any cause-effect explanation regarding Facebook and depression[7], they still do prove that social media use may not be a good way to handle depression. For this reason, the leading authors of these studies gave some suggestions as to how clinicians and people can make use of such findings.

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One suggestion is that clinicians should ask patients about their social media habits. Then they can advise them on how to change their outlook on social media use or even suggest limiting their time spent on social media.

Some social media users may also exhibit addictive behavior; they may spend too much time due to compulsive urges. Any compulsive behavior is bound to lead to feelings of guilt which can worsen depressive symptoms.

Having Unhealthy Relationship with Social Media

If you feel like your relationship with social media is unhealthy, then consider the advice on healthy social media use provided by psychology experts from Links Psychology[8]:

Avoid negative social comparison – always keep in mind that how people portray themselves and their lives on social media is not a realistic picture, but rather an idealized one. Also, avoid comparing yourself to others because this behavior can lead to negative self-talk.

Remember that social media is not a replacement for real life – Social media is great for staying in touch and having fun, but it should never replace real-world interactions.

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Avoid releasing personal information – For your safety and privacy, make sure to be careful with what you post online.

Report users who bully and harass you – It’s easy to be a bully in the anonymous and distant world of social media. Don’t take such offense personally and report those who abuse social media to harass others.

The bits of advice listed above can help you establish a healthy relationship with social media. Always keep these things in mind to avoid losing an objective perspective of what social media is and how it is different from real life. If you are currently suffering from depression, talk to your doctor about what is bothering you so that you can get the treatment you need to get better. Tell your doctor about your social media use and see if they could give you some advice on this topic.

Reference

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