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5 Most Common Life Mistakes People Make In Their 20s

5 Most Common Life Mistakes People Make In Their 20s

What You Might Be Getting Wrong In Your 20s

Your twenties is a challenging decade. You’ve probably finished school and have taken the first steps up the career ladder. Old friendships might be changing, your first significant romantic relationship might be beginning or ending, and you are probably still trying to work out what you want and what you need to be doing with your life. How you choose to approach life will make a big difference to how well you navigate this tricky ten-year period. Read on to discover the five ways in which you may be sabotaging your own happiness as a twentysomething.

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Common Mistake #1

Forcing yourself to figure out all the important things in life, and expecting them to happen all at once

Young people today are under an incredible amount of pressure to establish a successful career as soon as possible, to find the perfect partner at the earliest opportunity and to discover their ultimate vision by the age of thirty. Is it any wonder that mental health problems are so rife in this age group? Remember that you have many years ahead of you to try new careers, ways of living, and to uncover your true values. It is not reasonable to expect that your life will be in perfect order five, ten or even fifteen years after graduation.

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Common Mistake #2

Living to work instead of working to live

Taking pride in one’s career can be a healthy source of satisfaction, and earning a good salary offers you a broad range of options when it comes to choosing where to live and how to spend your time. However, some people allow their relationships, hobbies and interests suffer as they pursue the mighty dollar. Do not let this happen to you. Try to strike a balance between work and play.

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Common Mistake #3

Being cynical instead of trying to think of what you can do to make a difference

There’s no doubt that this world is imperfect and that there is much we as a society need to change. It is easy to become cynical and to focus on the negatives, but a more constructive approach is to identify the steps you can take to make the world a better place. This can be as simple as making regular donations to charity, undertaking some volunteer work, or getting involved in a cause that is important to your local community.

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Common Mistake #4

Thinking that love alone is enough to sustain a relationship

Love is undoubtedly a key ingredient in making a relationship work. However, it is not sufficient. It is possible to be very much in love with someone yet realize that the two of you are fundamentally incompatible. The best relationships are based not on romantic love but on shared values, dreams and goals. Communication skills and the ability to argue without hurting one another for the sake of it are also vital.

Common Mistake #5

Blaming our parents and forgetting they are human too

The way you were raised and the relationship you had with your parents will definitely have influenced your personality and the ways in which you relate to other people. However, many people make the mistake of focusing too much on what their parents did wrong whilst forgetting everything they did right. Try to take a more balanced view of your parents. Very few people are all good or all bad. Most people have no idea what they are doing when they welcome their first child into the world, and they are bound to screw up from time to time. Remind yourself that your parents are only human, and they are the only set you have.

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Jay Hill

Jay writes about communication and happiness on Lifehack.

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Last Updated on October 17, 2019

How to Spend More Quality Time with Your Partner

How to Spend More Quality Time with Your Partner

You see your partner every single day. They are the first person you talk to in the morning and the last person you kiss goodnight.

But does seeing each other day in and day out equal a healthy relationship? Not necessarily.

Spending quality time with your partner is the best way to ensure your relationship stays healthy and strong. This means going above and beyond sitting together while you watch Netflix or going out for the occasional dinner. You deserve more from your relationship – and so does your spouse!

What does quality time mean? It means spending time with your spouse without interruption. It’s a chance for you to come together and talk. Communication will build emotional intimacy and trust.

Quality time is also about expressing love in a physical way. Not sex, necessarily (but that’s great, too!) but through hand-holding, cuddling, caressing, and tickling. Studies show that these displays of affection will boost partner satisfaction.[1]

So how do you spend quality time with your partner? Here are 13 relationship tips on making the most out of your time with your partner.

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1. Recognize the Signs

If you want a healthy relationship, you have to learn how to recognize the signs that you need to spend more quality time together.

Some telltale signs include:

  • You’re always on your phones.
  • You value friendships or hobbies over quality time with your spouse.
  • You aren’t together during important events.
  • You are arguing more often or lack connection.
  • You don’t make plans or date nights.
  • You’re not happy.

If you are experiencing any of these relationship symptoms, know that quality time together can reverse the negative effects of the signs above.

2. Try New Things Together

Have you ever wanted to learn how to play an instrument or speak another language? How about skydive or ballroom dance?

Instead of viewing these as solo hobbies and interests, why not involve your partner?

Trying new activities together builds healthy relationships because it encourages spouses to rely on one another for emotional and physical support.

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Shared hobbies also promote marital friendship, and the Journal of Happiness Studies found that marital satisfaction was twice as high for couples who viewed each other as best friends.[2]

3. Schedule in Tech-Free Time

Your phone is a great way to listen to music, watch videos, and keep up-to-date with friends and family. But is your phone good for your relationship?

Many couples phone snub, or ‘phub’, one another. Studies show that phubbing can lower relationship satisfaction and increase one’s chances of depression.[3]

Reduce those chances by removing distractions when spending quality time together and showing your partner they have your full attention.

4. Hit the Gym as a Couple

One way you can spend more time together as a couple is by becoming workout partners. Studies show that couples are more likely to stay with their exercise routine if they work out together.[4] Couples also work out harder than they would solo. One study found that 95 percent of couples who work out together maintained weight loss compares to the 66 percent of singles who did.[5]

Join a gym, do at-home couples’ workouts, try couples yoga, hit the hiking trails, or get your bikes out. No matter which way you choose to exercise, these healthy activities can promote a healthy relationship.

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5. Cook Meals Together

Pop open a bottle of wine or put some romantic music on while you get busy – in the kitchen, of course!

One of the best relationship tips for spending quality time together when you both have busy schedules is to cook meals together.[6]

Spice things up and try and prepare a four-course meal or a fancy French dish together. Not only is this a fun way to spend your time together, but it also promotes teamwork.

If all goes well, you’ll have a romantic date night meal at home that you prepared with your four hands. And if the food didn’t turn out the way you’d hoped, you are guaranteed to have a laugh and create new memories together.

6. Have a Regular Date Night

Couples experience a greater sense of happiness and less stress when they are spending quality time together.[7] One of the biggest relationship tips for a healthy partnership is to include a date night in your weekly routine.

The National Marriage Project found that having a weekly date night can make your relationship seem more exciting and helps prevent relationship boredom.[8] It also lowers the probability of divorce, improves your sex life, and increases healthy communication.

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Some great ideas for what to do on your date night include:

  • Have a movie marathon – Gather up your favorite flicks and cuddle up on the couch.
  • Play games together – Cards, board games, video games, and other creative outlets are a fun way to spend quality time together.
  • Recreate your first date – Go back to that restaurant and order the same meal you did when you first got together. You can spice up your evening by pretending you’re strangers meeting for the first time and see how sexy the night gets.
  • Plan a weekend getaway – There’s nothing better than traveling with the one you love.
  • Dinner and a movie – A classic!
  • Try a new restaurant – Make it your mission to rate and try all of the Mexican restaurants/Irish pubs/Italian trattorias in your area.
  • Have a long sex session – Intimacy promotes the release of the oxytocin hormone which is responsible for a myriad of great feelings.[9]

Here’re even more date night ideas for your reference: 50 Unique and Really Fun Date Ideas for Couples

Final Thoughts

The benefits of spending quality time together are endless. Here are just some of the ways it can contribute to a healthy relationship:

  • Improves emotional and physical intimacy
  • Lowers divorce rates
  • Improves communication
  • Reduces marital boredom
  • Bonds couples closer
  • Improves friendship
  • Boosts health
  • Reduces stress

These are all excellent reasons to start making date night a regular part of your week.

It’s easy to have a healthy relationship when you set aside dedicated time to share with your spouse. Try new things together, make your spouse your workout buddy, and look for innovative ways to be close and connected.

These relationship tips will bring great benefits to your marriage.

Featured photo credit: Allen Taylor via unsplash.com

Reference

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