Emptying the nest: what to do after the kids fly away

Emptying the nest: what to do after the kids fly away

When children leave for college, a couple can have a hard time adjusting to the idea of being empty nesters. Sure, it can be nice not to have to worry about what the kids are up to when you leave home, and it can be fun to have the place all to yourself, but what happens once the novelty has faded a bit and you’re back to daily life? What kinds of things do you want to do then? A lot of people downsize once they have an empty nest, and others spend more time focused on their own hobbies and interests. If you’ve been thinking about a smaller house, or you want to get involved in more of the things you like, this is your chance. You have raised your kids well, you’ve done the work, and now it’s finally time to kick back and enjoy.

Having an empty nest can be enjoyable

That doesn’t mean you won’t miss your children once they’re grown up, but only that you’ll have the opportunity to move forward with things you want to do that you may have put off while raising your family. Now you can travel more, set up a home gym, invite guests over, or do all kinds of other things that you might find interesting. Some empty nesters also go back to school to take classes they never would have had time for while they had children at home. There are so many different things you can do with your time when it’s not all about your children any longer.


What if your empty nest is not that empty yet?

One of the ways you can make space for the things you like and want to do is through renting a storage unit. That will give you the opportunity to move some things out of your house while still having them where you can get to them. A lot of those things will belong to your kids, since they may not have taken everything with them when they moved out. If they’re at college, or they are traveling before settling down somewhere, they probably left things behind at home. If you carefully box up those things and take them to storage, you can give yourself the space you need, while your children won’t need to give up their things.


Being an empty nester gives you opportunities

You can also redecorate the rooms the children used once they’ve moved out, then use them as guest rooms or for all sorts of hobbies and interests. New paint, a change of flooring, and some new furniture can go a long way toward changing the entire look of the room. If you don’t want to get rid of the furniture your children used when they lived with you, the storage unit is a good place for those items as well. No matter how you envision your new rooms looking, being an empty nester gives you opportunities that you wouldn’t have had in the past.


Seize new opportunities and enjoy your life’s next chapter

Don’t let guilt at changing your children’s rooms into something new stop you from having the house you really want. Your kids are out in the world, living their own lives, and you should be living yours as well. Between some redecoration and a storage unit, you can have an empty nest that looks the way you want it to. You’ll have the opportunity to get involved with the hobbies you left behind, or create some new ones, which will give you plenty of opportunities for joy after your kids have moved on to the college and careers of their own.


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Tanvir Zafar

The founder of ISU Technologies, passionate in writing about entrepreneurship, work and technology.

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Last Updated on February 15, 2019

Why Is Goal Setting Important to a Truly Fulfilling Life?

Why Is Goal Setting Important to a Truly Fulfilling Life?

In Personal Development-speak, we are always talking about goals, outcomes, success, desires and dreams. In other words, all the stuff we want to do, achieve and create in our world.

And while it’s important for us to know what we want to achieve (our goal), it’s also important for us to understand why we want to achieve it; the reason behind the goal or some would say, our real goal.

Why is goal setting important?

1. Your needs and desire will be fulfilled.

Sometimes when we explore our “why”, (why we want to achieve a certain thing) we realize that our “what” (our goal) might not actually deliver us the thing (feeling, emotion, internal state) we’re really seeking.

For example, the person who has a goal to lose weight in the belief that weight loss will bring them happiness, security, fulfillment, attention, popularity and the partner of their dreams. In this instance, their “what” is weight-loss and their “why” is happiness (etc.) and a partner.


Six months later, they have lost the weight (achieved their goal) but as is often the case, they’re not happier, not more secure, not more confident, not more fulfilled and in keeping with their miserable state, they have failed to attract their dream partner.

After all, who wants to be with someone who’s miserable? They achieved their practical goal but still failed to have their needs met.

So they set a goal to lose another ten pounds. And then another. And maybe just ten more. With the destructive and erroneous belief that if they can get thin enough, they’ll find their own personal nirvana. And we all know how that story ends.

2. You’ll find out what truly motivates you

The important thing in the process of constructing our best life is not necessarily what goals we set (what we think we want) but what motivates us towards those goals (what we really want).

The sooner we begin to explore, identify and understand what motivates us towards certain achievements, acquisitions or outcomes (that is, we begin moving towards greater consciousness and self awareness), the sooner we will make better decisions for our life, set more intelligent (and dare I say, enlightened) goals and experience more fulfilment and less frustration.


We all know people who have achieved what they set out to, only to end up in the same place or worse (emotionally, psychologically, sociologically) because what they were chasing wasn’t really what they were needing.

What we think we want will rarely provide us with what we actually need.

3. Your state of mind will be a lot healthier

We all set specific goals to achieve/acquire certain things (a job, a car, a partner, a better body, a bank balance, a title, a victory) because at some level, most of us believe (consciously or not) that the achievement of those goals will bring us what we really seek; joy, fulfilment, happiness, safety, peace, recognition, love, acceptance, respect, connection.

Of course, setting practical, material and financial goals is an intelligent thing to do considering the world we live in and how that world works.

But setting goals with an expectation that the achievement of certain things in our external, physical world will automatically create an internal state of peace, contentment, joy and total happiness is an unhealthy and unrealistic mindset to inhabit.


What you truly want and need

Sometimes we need to look beyond the obvious (superficial) goals to discover and secure what we really want.

Sadly, we live in a collective mindset which teaches that the prettiest and the wealthiest are the most successful.

Some self-help frauds even teach this message. If you’re rich or pretty, you’re happy. If you’re both, you’re very happy. Pretty isn’t what we really want; it’s what we believe pretty will bring us. Same goes with money.

When we cut through the hype, the jargon and the self-help mumbo jumbo, we all have the same basic goals, desires and needs:

Joy, fulfilment, happiness, safety, peace, recognition, love, acceptance, respect, connection.


Nobody needs a mansion or a sport’s car but we all need love.

Nobody needs massive pecs, six percent body-fat, a face lift or bigger breasts but we all need connection, acceptance and understanding.

Nobody needs to be famous but we all need peace, calm, balance and happiness.

The problem is, we live in a culture which teaches that one equals the other. If only we lived in a culture which taught that real success is far more about what’s happening in our internal environment, than our external one.

It’s a commonly-held belief that we’re all very different and we all have different goals — whether short term or long term goals. But in many ways we’re not, and we don’t; we all want essentially the same things.

Now all you have to do is see past the fraud and deception and find the right path.

Featured photo credit: Unsplash via

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