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6 Questions That Will Deepen Your Connection

6 Questions That Will Deepen Your Connection

A well-connected relationship needs to be nurtured and pampered on a daily basis. Romantic movies and social media platforms do not necessarily set the best examples on how to show your love and affection in the most authentic and down-to-earth ways. Many couples are worried that they have to make big fancy plans to keep each other connected and make their partner feel loved. While many others are scared of making not-good-enough date night plans, so they end up not doing anything in order to avoid failure and disappointment. However, keeping the spark in a relationship does not necessarily require fancy restaurants or expensive gifts. You can create a deeper connection with your partner and make each other feel loved and valued by asking these 6 simple questions daily:

1. What does your day look like today?

Create a morning ritual to check in with your partner before you leave for work or school. This can be done through face-to-face conversation, an email, or a text message, whatever works for you. This is the time for you to share the outline of your day, things that you are excited or worried about, or people you are going to meet. The idea is to keep each other updated with your life and stay connected throughout the day even when you are far away from each other.

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2. What are you looking forward to today?

Share some positivity with each other. It can be anything, nothing is too small: the project you are working on, a scheduled meeting, your homemade lunch, the food truck you are planning on visiting during your break, a laid back relaxing day, or simply coming home after work. It also gives you an opportunity to find excitement and something to look forward to for the day.

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3. How was your day today?

If you have established a routine for the morning check-in, you can use this time as an opportunity to follow up with your partner. By asking questions about what they shared with you in the morning, it shows that you really listened with your heart and you are thinking of each other. Follow-up questions always make us feel valued and cared for; it is the magic of “you remembered”. This can also be a good time to check in with each other if you didn’t have time to do so in the morning.

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4. What was your favorite and least favorite part of the day?

Share your ups and downs with each other. Life is not all sunshine, but two people can share one umbrella and survive the storm together. You can really use this time to be there for each other, to listen, to connect, and to support.

5. What made you laugh today?

Don’t forget to share laughter together. Share what you saw, heard, and read that made you laugh during the day. By asking each other this question daily, you both will start paying more attention to the fun things and people around you. You will not only have more positivity to share at the end of the day but also catch those sweet moments throughout the day more.

6. Would you like to hear about my day?

Open the door for more conversation and connection. Instead of rambling about your day or talking at each other, you are politely inviting your partner to spend time and review the day together with you. When your partner feels invited, he or she is less likely to multitask while you are talking and more likely to dedicate the next 5-10 minutes to hear about your day. You will be surprised how the 5-minute undivided attention will magically bring a sense of deeper connection and love between you and your partner.

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More by this author

Moni Tang

Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist Associate

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Last Updated on June 26, 2020

10 Things To Remember When Everything Goes Wrong

10 Things To Remember When Everything Goes Wrong

Problems and heartaches in life are inevitable. However, there are some things to remember when you’re right in the thick of it that can help you get through it. When everything seems to be going wrong, practice telling yourself these things.

1. This Too Shall Pass

Sometimes life’s rough patches feel like they’re going to last forever. Whether you’re dealing with work-related issues, family problems, or stressful situations, very few problems last for a lifetime. So remind yourself, that things won’t be this bad forever.

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2. Some Things are Going Right

When things are going wrong, it’s hard to recognize what is going right. It’s easy to screen out the good things and only focus on the bad things. Remind yourself that some things are going right. Purposely look for the positive, even if it is something very small.

3. I Have Some Control

One of the most most important things to remember is that you have some control of the situation. Even if you aren’t in complete control of the situation, one thing you can always control is your attitude and reaction. Focus on managing what is within your control.

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4. I Can Ask for Help

Asking for help can be hard sometimes. However, it’s one of the best ways to deal with tough situations. Tell people what you need specifically if they offer to help. Don’t be afraid to call on friends and family and ask them for help, whether you need financial assistance, emotional support, or practical help.

5. Much of This Won’t Matter in a Few Years

Most of the problems we worry about today won’t actually matter five years from now. Remind yourself that whatever is going wrong now is only a small percentage of your actual life. Even if you’re dealing with a major problem, like a loved one’s illness, remember that a lot of good things are likely to happen in the course of a year or two as well.

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6. I Can Handle This

A lack of confidence in handling tough times can add to stress. One of the best things to remember is that you can handle tough situations. Even though you might feel angry, hurt, disappointed, or sad, it won’t kill you. You can get through it.

7. Something Good Will Come Out of This

No matter how bad a situation is, it’s almost certain that something good will come out of it. At the very least, it’s likely that you will learn a life lesson. Perhaps you learn not to repeat the same mistake in the future or maybe you move on from a bad situation and find something better. Look for the one good thing that can result when bad things happen.

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8. I Can Accept What’s Out of my Control

There are many things that aren’t within your control. You can’t change the past, another person’s behavior, or a loved one’s health issues. Don’t waste time trying to force others to change or trying to make things be different if it isn’t within your control. Investing time and energy into trying to things you can’t will cause you to feel helpless and exhausted. Acceptance is one of the best way to establish resilience.

9. I Have Overcome Past Difficulties

One of the things to remember when you’re facing difficulties, is that you’ve handled problems in the past. Don’t overlook past difficulties that you’ve dealt with successfully. Remind yourself of all the past problems you’ve overcome and you’ll gain confidence in dealing with the current issues.

10. I Need to Take Care of Myself

When everything seems to be going wrong, take care of yourself. Get plenty of rest, get some exercise, eat healthy, and spend some time doing leisure activities. When you’re taking better care of yourself you’ll be better equipped to deal with your problems.

More Tips to Help You Carry On

Featured photo credit: NeONBRAND via unsplash.com

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