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6 Questions That Will Deepen Your Connection

6 Questions That Will Deepen Your Connection

A well-connected relationship needs to be nurtured and pampered on a daily basis. Romantic movies and social media platforms do not necessarily set the best examples on how to show your love and affection in the most authentic and down-to-earth ways. Many couples are worried that they have to make big fancy plans to keep each other connected and make their partner feel loved. While many others are scared of making not-good-enough date night plans, so they end up not doing anything in order to avoid failure and disappointment. However, keeping the spark in a relationship does not necessarily require fancy restaurants or expensive gifts. You can create a deeper connection with your partner and make each other feel loved and valued by asking these 6 simple questions daily:

1. What does your day look like today?

Create a morning ritual to check in with your partner before you leave for work or school. This can be done through face-to-face conversation, an email, or a text message, whatever works for you. This is the time for you to share the outline of your day, things that you are excited or worried about, or people you are going to meet. The idea is to keep each other updated with your life and stay connected throughout the day even when you are far away from each other.

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2. What are you looking forward to today?

Share some positivity with each other. It can be anything, nothing is too small: the project you are working on, a scheduled meeting, your homemade lunch, the food truck you are planning on visiting during your break, a laid back relaxing day, or simply coming home after work. It also gives you an opportunity to find excitement and something to look forward to for the day.

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3. How was your day today?

If you have established a routine for the morning check-in, you can use this time as an opportunity to follow up with your partner. By asking questions about what they shared with you in the morning, it shows that you really listened with your heart and you are thinking of each other. Follow-up questions always make us feel valued and cared for; it is the magic of “you remembered”. This can also be a good time to check in with each other if you didn’t have time to do so in the morning.

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4. What was your favorite and least favorite part of the day?

Share your ups and downs with each other. Life is not all sunshine, but two people can share one umbrella and survive the storm together. You can really use this time to be there for each other, to listen, to connect, and to support.

5. What made you laugh today?

Don’t forget to share laughter together. Share what you saw, heard, and read that made you laugh during the day. By asking each other this question daily, you both will start paying more attention to the fun things and people around you. You will not only have more positivity to share at the end of the day but also catch those sweet moments throughout the day more.

6. Would you like to hear about my day?

Open the door for more conversation and connection. Instead of rambling about your day or talking at each other, you are politely inviting your partner to spend time and review the day together with you. When your partner feels invited, he or she is less likely to multitask while you are talking and more likely to dedicate the next 5-10 minutes to hear about your day. You will be surprised how the 5-minute undivided attention will magically bring a sense of deeper connection and love between you and your partner.

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More by this author

Moni Tang

Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist Associate

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Last Updated on June 13, 2019

How to Quit Your Boring Life and Start Living an Interesting One

How to Quit Your Boring Life and Start Living an Interesting One

Think you have a boring life?

The definition of boring is dull or not interesting. Maybe you’ve been doing the same thing and living the same life for too long, or maybe your daily routine is limiting your growth and happiness. Whatever your reason is, the following list of 20 things can definitely make any day more interesting. Some of them are silly, while some are more meaningful, so hopefully just reading the list makes your life less boring and sparks your creativity.

Let’s dive in the list to quit your boring life and start living an interesting (and meaning) one!

1. Channel Your 7-Year-Old Self

What would he or she want to do right now? Color? Paint? Run around outside? Play dress up? Eat with your hands? Play that instrument hiding in the back of your closet that you haven’t touched in years?

Just because you’re a grown up doesn’t mean any of this stuff will be less enjoyable than you remember it. Give yourself permission to play.

2. Go Play with Kids

Speaking of little kids, if you have your own or access to any (in a non-creepy way, like they’re your niece or your best friend’s kid, you get the idea) go play with them!

They didn’t create an entire show called Kids Say The Darndest Things because kids aren’t hilarious. They also keep things so simple, and we can really stand to be reminded of this and stop allowing ourselves to get bogged down in boring details.

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3. Order a Hot Dog

While you’re eating it, Google: “What’s in a hot dog?” You decide whether or not you want to finish it.

4. For the Ladies: Wear Your Sexiest Lingerie Under Your Work Clothes

Your “little secret” will leave you feeling anything but boring all day!

5. Play Cell Phone Roulette

You’ll need at least one buddy for this. Scroll through the contacts in your phone, stop on a random one and call the person.

You could spark an incredible catch up session or be incredibly awkward. Neither are boring.

6. Fill out a Pack of Thank-You Cards

Give them to random people who probably don’t get thanked too often for doing what they do ever day.

Ideas: police officers, librarians, servers, baristas, cab drivers, sanitation workers, teachers, people behind any check out counter, receptionists, your friends, the guy at the falafel stand, etc.

7. Sign up for a Class in Something You’ve “Always Wanted to Do”, or Something That Makes You Really Uncomfortable

Ideas: pole dancing, salsa lessons, improv, pottery, cooking, knitting (yup, there are classes for this, too!), karate, boxing, something techy like the workshops they run in Apple stores, get Rosetta Stone and learn that language you’ve always wanted to speak, etc.

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What’s good about joining an interest class is that you will also meet new people!

8. Interview Your Grandparents About Their Lives

You can bet they’ve had some crazy experiences you probably never knew about.

9. Get up on Stage at an Open Mic Night

Whether you’re funny or not, get up on stage and just talk funny. And if you’re not, memorize a few of your favorite jokes and tell those!

10. Do Something for Someone Else That You Wish Someone Would Do for You

We all have a few ideas on this list. I promise you will feel amazing after and anything but bored.

11. Start a DIY Project in Your Home

It doesn’t have to be super complicated. If you need ideas, there’re plenty on Pinterest. Or you can also check out these 30 Awesome DIY Projects that You’ve Never Heard of.

12. Plan a Weekend Trip or an All-Out Vacation

This will give you something to look forward to.

Even if you don’t have the time or money to go on a vacation, plan for a staycation, which is same fun and relaxing!

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13. People Watch

Find a bench in a crowded area (centers of transportation like airports, bus stops and train stations are great for this!) and just observe.

People are infinitely interesting.

14. Eat Something You’ve Never Eaten Before

Bonus points if it’s a random fruit or veggie.

15. Dance

You can get your friends together for a night on the town or just pull up a video on YouTube and bust a move from your own living room.

If you’re feeling extra brave, you can even dance in public and get other people involved.

16. Go to YOUTUBE and Search “Funny Pets” or “Funny Babies”

This is also a great quickie ab workout as you will be laughing hysterically.

17. Pick up a Book and Start Reading

Check out the NY Times Best Sellers lists and grab a new book you can get lost in.

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18. Step Away from the Computer and Go Get Some Time with People You Care About in Real Life

Facebook stalking doesn’t count as real social interaction. You can even share this post with your friends and vote on which one you’d like to do together!

19. Check out a Museum You’ve Never Been to Before

OK, depending on your interests, this one might actually be boring. If you love learning, art or different cultures though, this one is for you!

20. Write a List of Things You Desire and Truly Want

This is a great way to help you figure out the real reason why you’re feeling bored about your life. Maybe you haven’t really done things that you truly enjoy? Maybe what you’ve wanted to do all the time has been left behind?

Think about the list of things you really want to do, and ask yourself why you aren’t doing these things (yet). Then start taking your first step to make what you want happen.

Now go make your life interesting and live your dream life!

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Featured photo credit: Kev Costello via unsplash.com

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