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2017: The Year of Polishing

2017: The Year of Polishing

I used to be a resolution maker. I would write my little checklist of all the things I planned to do or change each year, and post reminders everywhere to keep me on my toes. Don’t get me wrong, it worked and I got many things accomplished that way. I still do make my lists, however, I started realizing years ago it was more important for me to have a theme for the year instead.

    2016: The Year of Release

    2016 was the year of release for me. I needed to release a lot of things in my life that were hindering me from being the best version of myself.

    In doing that, I also ended up being released from, and releasing people I had no idea would no longer play such a large role in my life. I found myself becoming distant from everything I once consumed myself with that wasn’t productive or positive—an action that created both positive yet sometimes sad results.

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    I needed to release things that were stopping me from working on ME. Unfortunately not everyone was a fan of me becoming my priority. This year of release is not quite complete, as the aftermath of release is an ongoing process, but I have figured out what 2017’s theme will be…..the Year of Polishing.

    Why I Chose Polishing As My Theme for 2017

    The reason I chose polishing as the theme for 2017 is because the groundwork was done this year for the most part.

    I reflected on life and my decisions, released all that was toxic or hindering my growth, and created boundaries in my life that were long overdue. I set more goals for myself,and created blueprints for my business endeavors and goals.

    2017 is the time to execute and polish all that l’ve prepared for mentally, physically, spiritually, and emotionally in 2016.

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      A lot of people will criticize you for setting goals or being hopeful for a successful 2017. There are people as we speak finding memes and gearing up to post all kinds of things insulting those of you who want change and growth to happen annually.

      Don’t let these people make you feel as if you’re lame or silly for preparing your mind and spirit for a better year.

      There is nothing wrong with wanting more for your life and wanting to be a better person. The people who goes out of their way to criticize you for your “new year, new/better me” mentality are usually people that have no hope or desire to progress in their own lives.

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      They aren’t driven enough to improve their own lives so they will try to make you feel foolish for wanting to improve yours. Stagnation is their comfort zone, and they want it to be yours.

      We all know misery loves company,but it doesn’t mean you have to accept the invite. Avoid interacting with anyone who finds your desire to grow amusing, offensive, or inconvenient.

      People offended by your desire to be a better person and achieve your goals are people who don’t have your best interest at heart..and probably never really did. Don’t be afraid to release that negative energy out of your life.

      2017 Is Approaching

      The new year is approaching. Don’t be afraid to be excited about making plans. No one has to live with your decisions but you, so don’t allow anyone to rain on your hope for growth and improvement in the new year.

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      If being a better person is what you want, work toward that and be unapologetic and unashamed about it. Who cares if you haven’t stuck with your plans and resolutions in the past? This is a new year, and a new chance to get it right.

      Ignore the outside noise and go for it! Work hard to be better than you ever were, and stay focused. Let’s rock  2017! Are you ready? I am.

      Featured photo credit: Yahoo images via Https

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      Last Updated on August 6, 2020

      6 Reasons Why You Should Think Before You Speak

      6 Reasons Why You Should Think Before You Speak

      We’ve all done it. That moment when a series of words slithers from your mouth and the instant regret manifests through blushing and profuse apologies. If you could just think before you speak! It doesn’t have to be like this, and with a bit of practice, it’s actually quite easy to prevent.

      “Think twice before you speak, because your words and influence will plant the seed of either success or failure in the mind of another.” – Napolean Hill

      Are we speaking the same language?

      My mum recently left me a note thanking me for looking after her dog. She’d signed it with “LOL.” In my world, this means “laugh out loud,” and in her world it means “lots of love.” My kids tell me things are “sick” when they’re good, and ”manck” when they’re bad (when I say “bad,” I don’t mean good!). It’s amazing that we manage to communicate at all.

      When speaking, we tend to color our language with words and phrases that have become personal to us, things we’ve picked up from our friends, families and even memes from the internet. These colloquialisms become normal, and we expect the listener (or reader) to understand “what we mean.” If you really want the listener to understand your meaning, try to use words and phrases that they might use.

      Am I being lazy?

      When you’ve been in a relationship for a while, a strange metamorphosis takes place. People tend to become lazier in the way that they communicate with each other, with less thought for the feelings of their partner. There’s no malice intended; we just reach a “comfort zone” and know that our partners “know what we mean.”

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      Here’s an exchange from Psychology Today to demonstrate what I mean:

      Early in the relationship:

      “Honey, I don’t want you to take this wrong, but I’m noticing that your hair is getting a little thin on top. I know guys are sensitive about losing their hair, but I don’t want someone else to embarrass you without your expecting it.”

      When the relationship is established:

      “Did you know that you’re losing a lot of hair on the back of your head? You’re combing it funny and it doesn’t help. Wear a baseball cap or something if you feel weird about it. Lots of guys get thin on top. It’s no big deal.”

      It’s pretty clear which of these statements is more empathetic and more likely to be received well. Recognizing when we do this can be tricky, but with a little practice it becomes easy.

      Have I actually got anything to say?

      When I was a kid, my gran used to say to me that if I didn’t have anything good to say, I shouldn’t say anything at all. My gran couldn’t stand gossip, so this makes total sense, but you can take this statement a little further and modify it: “If you don’t have anything to say, then don’t say anything at all.”

      A lot of the time, people speak to fill “uncomfortable silences,” or because they believe that saying something, anything, is better than staying quiet. It can even be a cause of anxiety for some people.

      When somebody else is speaking, listen. Don’t wait to speak. Listen. Actually hear what that person is saying, think about it, and respond if necessary.

      Am I painting an accurate picture?

      One of the most common forms of miscommunication is the lack of a “referential index,” a type of generalization that fails to refer to specific nouns. As an example, look at these two simple phrases: “Can you pass me that?” and “Pass me that thing over there!”. How often have you said something similar?

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      How is the listener supposed to know what you mean? The person that you’re talking to will start to fill in the gaps with something that may very well be completely different to what you mean. You’re thinking “pass me the salt,” but you get passed the pepper. This can be infuriating for the listener, and more importantly, can create a lack of understanding and ultimately produce conflict.

      Before you speak, try to label people, places and objects in a way that it is easy for any listeners to understand.

      What words am I using?

      It’s well known that our use of nouns and verbs (or lack of them) gives an insight into where we grew up, our education, our thoughts and our feelings.

      Less well known is that the use of pronouns offers a critical insight into how we emotionally code our sentences. James Pennebaker’s research in the 1990’s concluded that function words are important keys to someone’s psychological state and reveal much more than content words do.

      Starting a sentence with “I think…” demonstrates self-focus rather than empathy with the speaker, whereas asking the speaker to elaborate or quantify what they’re saying clearly shows that you’re listening and have respect even if you disagree.

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      Is the map really the territory?

      Before speaking, we sometimes construct a scenario that makes us act in a way that isn’t necessarily reflective of the actual situation.

      A while ago, John promised to help me out in a big way with a project that I was working on. After an initial meeting and some big promises, we put together a plan and set off on its execution. A week or so went by, and I tried to get a hold of John to see how things were going. After voice mails and emails with no reply and general silence, I tried again a week later and still got no response.

      I was frustrated and started to get more than a bit vexed. The project obviously meant more to me than it did to him, and I started to construct all manner of crazy scenarios. I finally got through to John and immediately started a mild rant about making promises you can’t keep. He stopped me in my tracks with the news that his brother had died. If I’d have just thought before I spoke…

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