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2017: The Year of Polishing

2017: The Year of Polishing

I used to be a resolution maker. I would write my little checklist of all the things I planned to do or change each year, and post reminders everywhere to keep me on my toes. Don’t get me wrong, it worked and I got many things accomplished that way. I still do make my lists, however, I started realizing years ago it was more important for me to have a theme for the year instead.

    2016: The Year of Release

    2016 was the year of release for me. I needed to release a lot of things in my life that were hindering me from being the best version of myself.

    In doing that, I also ended up being released from, and releasing people I had no idea would no longer play such a large role in my life. I found myself becoming distant from everything I once consumed myself with that wasn’t productive or positive—an action that created both positive yet sometimes sad results.

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    I needed to release things that were stopping me from working on ME. Unfortunately not everyone was a fan of me becoming my priority. This year of release is not quite complete, as the aftermath of release is an ongoing process, but I have figured out what 2017’s theme will be…..the Year of Polishing.

    Why I Chose Polishing As My Theme for 2017

    The reason I chose polishing as the theme for 2017 is because the groundwork was done this year for the most part.

    I reflected on life and my decisions, released all that was toxic or hindering my growth, and created boundaries in my life that were long overdue. I set more goals for myself,and created blueprints for my business endeavors and goals.

    2017 is the time to execute and polish all that l’ve prepared for mentally, physically, spiritually, and emotionally in 2016.

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      A lot of people will criticize you for setting goals or being hopeful for a successful 2017. There are people as we speak finding memes and gearing up to post all kinds of things insulting those of you who want change and growth to happen annually.

      Don’t let these people make you feel as if you’re lame or silly for preparing your mind and spirit for a better year.

      There is nothing wrong with wanting more for your life and wanting to be a better person. The people who goes out of their way to criticize you for your “new year, new/better me” mentality are usually people that have no hope or desire to progress in their own lives.

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      They aren’t driven enough to improve their own lives so they will try to make you feel foolish for wanting to improve yours. Stagnation is their comfort zone, and they want it to be yours.

      We all know misery loves company,but it doesn’t mean you have to accept the invite. Avoid interacting with anyone who finds your desire to grow amusing, offensive, or inconvenient.

      People offended by your desire to be a better person and achieve your goals are people who don’t have your best interest at heart..and probably never really did. Don’t be afraid to release that negative energy out of your life.

      2017 Is Approaching

      The new year is approaching. Don’t be afraid to be excited about making plans. No one has to live with your decisions but you, so don’t allow anyone to rain on your hope for growth and improvement in the new year.

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      If being a better person is what you want, work toward that and be unapologetic and unashamed about it. Who cares if you haven’t stuck with your plans and resolutions in the past? This is a new year, and a new chance to get it right.

      Ignore the outside noise and go for it! Work hard to be better than you ever were, and stay focused. Let’s rock  2017! Are you ready? I am.

      Featured photo credit: Yahoo images via Https

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      Last Updated on December 17, 2018

      Why You Think You’re Not Good Enough and How To Believe in Yourself

      Why You Think You’re Not Good Enough and How To Believe in Yourself

      Have you ever wanted to say something at work, but a little voice of doubt crept in and said, “what if you are wrong”?

      Maybe you wanted to apply for that promotion or ask that special someone on a date, but something kept you from taking action. When you think you’re not good enough, you tend to fear the outcome and lack faith in your abilities. That is why it is vital you discover how to believe in yourself so you can accomplish your goals and create your dream life.

      Whatever your situation, the fears and self-doubt your false beliefs create will always stop you in your tracks. Identifying the beliefs that cause you to sabotage your life is the first step to removing them.

      Self-doubt causes inaction, and inaction leads to regret. When you are not following your passion and living your dream life, you are left with a lot of questions:

      • What if I took a chance on myself?
      • Could I have had a better life if I took more risks?
      • Am I be satisfied with the legacy I am leaving behind?
      • What could I have accomplished if I did not settle for less?

      So why would you think you’re not good enough?

      1. Parenting

      The perception you have of yourself is based on your past experiences. There are studies that show children mimic everything from their parents ability to regulate emotions, to their parents belief about money.[1]

      I have had clients who did not believe they were good enough because they did not receive any positive reinforcement as a child. When they were young, their parents were extremely overprotective.

      Think of your childhood challenges like dragons you had to slay. Each obstacle you overcame was another dragon you successfully removed from your life. As you slay more dragons, your self-esteem and confidence increase. When someone has overprotective parents, their parents end up slaying the dragons.

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      As a result, the child builds more confidence in their parent’s abilities, while still doubting their own.

      If you are never encouraged to slay your own dragons, you start to doubt whether you can. It is only natural for a child to conclude their parents are always helping them because they think they need it. This child ages into an adult who still believes they are not good enough. They seek the help and confirmation of others, and they rarely stand-up to opposition.

      Solution: Slay Your Dragons!

      If you want to believe in yourself, you are going to have to take steps to rebuild your trust in yourself. Start by keeping your word to others and arriving on-time. By showing yourself that others can (and do) trust you, you are going to feel more comfortable trusting yourself.

      As you move onto larger and more challenging tasks, you have built a foundation of trust in your ability to keep your word. Next, you are going to want to reclaim your sword from others. At first, you may want to confide in whoever it is currently slaying your dragons.

      Understand if it is your parent or someone who loves you, they want the best for you and mean well. You are simply going to tell them that you want to do the work, and will ask them for their thoughts in the planning phase. Feel free to check in with them and give them updates on your progress, while making sure they understand you are wanting to do the work yourself.

      Then when the task is completed, let them know so you can celebrate together. Now that you have slayed your own dragon, you can start to reclaim your confidence. By you utilizing them as your guide, you get the added bonus of someone you respect and admire, telling you how amazing you are.

      Think of it like a symbolic passing of the torch. Now, you are both dragon slayers. Which means all the positive attributes you attributed to them slaying your dragons, now belong to you.

      2. Over-Exaggerating and Oversimplifying

      Your past experiences may involve you or someone close to you failing. When you experience failure, you can lose your desire to continue. This has less to do with whether you are brave or scared, and more to do with the fact that your mind does not like failure.

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      No one enjoys participating in events in which they under-perform. Outside of the usual reasons of embarrassment, feelings of inadequacy, and fear of failure – it is simply not fun.

      Who wants to play baseball if they strikeout every time it is their turn? Would you enjoy singing in front of an audience if you were booed off the stage every time you performed? I could go on, but I think you get the point.

      The thing about those two examples is no one really strikes out “every” at-bat. It is also unlikely someone could be booed off the stage “every time” they performed in-front of an audience.

      What ends up happening is you oversimplify and exaggerate your past experiences and then your mind believes you. If you believe you are not good enough to ask someone on a date because they “always” tell you no, then do not be surprised you never muster the courage to do so.

      If you want to overcome these feelings of inadequacy, start by changing your beliefs. This exercise does not need to be complicated. If you believe you strikeout every time it is your turn, I want to you to go to a batting cage and keep swinging until you hit the baseball.

      When you experience success, I want you to take a mental note, write it down, or have someone video it. This is your proof that you do not always strike out. Then, whenever your belief that you are not good enough resurfaces, you are going to replay that video.

      Regardless of the situation, you can find a successful experience that you are overlooking.

      Solution: Read About the Failures of Others

      It sounds a little crazy, I know, but reading about the failures of other successful people will improve your confidence. In a study conducted by Columbia University, they found that teaching students about the failures of great scientists encouraged them to do better.[2]

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      When you are battling fear and self-doubt, you tend to over-exaggerate the abilities of others and diminish your own by comparison. You start to believe the successful are successful because they are courageous risk-takers, who do not take no for an answer. You tell yourself, they are meant to succeed, while you on the other hand are not.

      When you are able to relate to the successful, you start to realize they have the same struggles and challenges you do. The only difference is they kept going.

      Now it is not a question of whether you can succeed, it is a question of whether you want to succeed.

      3. Undervalue Yourself

      What is the main difference between someone who believes they are good enough and someone who does not? The person who believes they are good enough understands they are a person of value.

      What I mean by this is if you do not believe you are worth being listened to, you will not have anything to say. If you do not believe you are good enough to be respected and treated as such, you will accept and rationalize all kinds of mistreatment.

      There is an old saying that we are treated as we allow ourselves to be treated. When someone has the confidence and self-esteem that commands respect, they will not accept being treated any kind of way. However, if someone does not see themselves as worthy, they will remain in toxic situations because they do not believe anything better is on the horizon.

      Dr. Jennifer Crocker, who worked on a series of self-esteem studies, found in her latest research that:[3]

      “College students who based their self-worth on external sources–including appearance, approval from others and even their academic performance–reported more stress, anger, academic problems, relationship conflicts, and had higher levels of drug and alcohol use and symptoms of eating disorders”

      Solution: Internalize Your Self-Worth

      Instead of valuing yourself based on the awards, recognition, and accolades of others, you need to search internally. By basing your perception of yourself on your core values, you can regain control over self-image.

      Instead of focusing on things that are outside of control, keep your mind on what it is that makes you special. You are not defined by your job, relationships, religion, or education. Rather, you are defined by the manner in which you participate in these things. You may be a creative, hard-working, and compassionate person; and that shows up in every thing you do.

      Understand that you do not need to be creative, hard-working, and compassionate all the time to consider yourself these things. You are not trying to be perfect, but you are trying to connect with your true self.

      By understanding the similarities in which you tackle objectives, you will build a consistent and powerful self-worth that stands apart from external confirmation.

      Final Thoughts

      Do not allow your past experiences do dictate your future success. You do not want to look back on your life and have a lot of questions and regrets.

      Build trust in yourself by taking action today. This will help you build the confidence you need to believe in yourself and your ability to become the champion of your life.

      More Inspiration About Motivation

      Featured photo credit: Riccardo Mion via unsplash.com

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      Reference

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