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7 Ways to Thrive Now By Fixing Mistakes From The Past

7 Ways to Thrive Now By Fixing Mistakes From The Past

If you’re getting older, you may be shaking your head as you reflect on the actions you made throughout the years. The wise person you are today can’t fathom what you were possibly thinking during the less than naive days of your youth. Looking to the past with an open heart and objective mind can allow you to self-check some of these hiccups as a result of being more self-aware. Don’t be hard on yourself for the decisions you made that caused pain, setbacks, and catastrophes. In the end, you learned a lot and grew, which is what the human experience is about. Maybe you didn’t know any better at the time, or maybe you were inexperienced at managing a certain situation.

Personally, I’ve made a great deal of mistakes in the past, but I can say that at 40, I have done enough reflection and correction to live a life not watered down by past mistakes. Here’s how you can too!

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1. Value Your Friends

Do you remember putting your boyfriend or girlfriend before everything else? You had close friends and a good social circle and as soon as you got together with someone, you ghosted your best and closest friends. You may have lost them along the way because of this. It’s a common mistake when we’re young, but if this became a habit, it’s time to place value on your friendships. You will begin to see as you grow older that true friends are rare, even rarer than finding a significant other. To thrive now, dedicate yourself to people you care about in the same way you might in a marriage or committed partnership. Plan a night each week for hanging out. Here’s another secret: your relationship will be better off when you have a life outside of your partner.

2. Go Back To School

You couldn’t foresee the future when you flunked out of college or got a degree you never used. Maybe you’re in a career you don’t like as a direct result of choices in your youth. It’s never too late to go back to school and thrive now in your desired profession, even if you’re middle aged. Going back to school as an older adult has its perks. For example, you will probably do much better because you’re more responsible now and know what you truly want. Through the years, you’ve likely gained a better idea of what you’re meant to do and built up your ability to persevere through challenges. The good news is, you don’t have to sit in a classroom to gain a degree anymore. You can option to do courses online. Whatever you do, don’t put off going back. The opportunity’s there so grab it.

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3. Deal With That Tattoo On Your Shoulder

If you are one of many that got a tattoo in your youth, it may not suit the person you are today. That butterfly on your chest might not seem as whimsical anymore. Whatever significance it held is lost, you’ve changed, and you’re tired of looking at this permanent reminder of bad judgement. You may decide to have a new tattoo design that has more significance to you and who you are in the present day cover your old one. If you’re really not interested in having a tattoo anymore, you can have it removed. By doing something new or getting rid of your old tattoo altogether, you are making intentional changes to let the “old you” go. This small change could be just the beginning of many great things to come in your life.

4. Change Your Health Regime

If you were lazy in your youth but had a great figure anyway, you may be finding that the same rules don’t apply anymore. Your metabolism starts to slow down and the body changes how it breaks down the food you eat. You may have made the mistake of taking your health for granted back in your 20’s. You can thrive now by dedicating yourself to healthier foods and exercising daily. If you weren’t active for many years, you’ll probably want to start slow. Yoga is a good start and helps get rid of stress while promoting self-reflection.

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5. Forgive Yourself And Others

During your lifetime up until now, you’ve probably experienced a falling out with someone, a bad breakup or a fight. You’ve probably been hurt and were likely responsible for someone else’s pain as well. What you may not realize is some of the unexplainable triggers you experience that cause issues are coming from your past. Forgiving yourself for past mistakes where you hurt yourself or others will allow you to let go.[1] If someone broke your heart or really pissed you off in your youth, it’s time for you to forgive them too. As the popular saying goes, “Holding onto anger is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die.” You are only hurting yourself and you may not even realize it.

6. Seek Out Opportunities You Didn’t Previously Accept

During your youth, you may have missed out on an opportunity that still haunts you to this day. If it’s a tangible opportunity that still exists, go after it now. If you are basing the opportunity on the feeling it would have given you had you taken it, explore what can give you a similar feeling. For example, if someone offered you an opportunity to model, what was it that you wished you could have experienced? Maybe it was the traveling aspect, wearing beautiful clothes, or being the center of attention. Those aspects of the opportunity itself are still available so work towards that experience.

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7. Get Out Of Debt

Oh, the money we wasted on unnecessary things in our youth. This may have racked up some debt that you’ve been carrying around with you for years. It’s time to say goodbye to the financial chains that bind you.[2] My plan to eradicate $15,000 of debt I incurred while flunking out of college, buying a sports car, and spending too much on clothes included a few hard years. I worked in ski resort that paid for accommodation and food. I didn’t have a car, a credit card, or much of a life really. I read a lot of books and worked as much as I could. It took about two years, but at the end of it, I was debt-free and ended up being a travel fanatic. Getting out of debt and saving money makes you conscious about living more simply. I learned a lot and gained a lot of life experience from it.

As you reflect on the things you did wrong in the past that are still haunting you today, you now know how to rectify them. Value the people in your life, forgive those that wronged you in the past, and forgive yourself too. Get rid of the things that don’t serve you today and allow those pitfalls from your youth be the lessons they were meant to be.

Reference

[1] http://tinybuddha.com/blog/how-to-forgive-someone-when-its-hard-30-tips-to-let-go-of-anger/
[2] http://www.forbes.com/sites/laurashin/2015/05/31/the-ultimate-guide-to-getting-out-of-debt/#4cf0c25f24cc

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Loraine Couturier

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Last Updated on October 15, 2019

How To Be Successful In Life? 13 Tips From The Most Successful People

How To Be Successful In Life? 13 Tips From The Most Successful People

What is success to you? How to be successful in life?

To some, when they think of success, they imagine wealth; others want power; some just want to make a positive impact on the world.

All of these are perfectly valid, indeed success is a concept that means different things to different people. Though no matter what success is to you, it almost certainly isn’t something will come easily.

There are countless guides and books to being successful, however, as success is personal and unique to each individual. The advice contained in these books can often not be relevant. Therefore following the advice of a single individual can often be unhelpful.

With this in mind, considering the advice of a great many people, people whose ideas of success were different both to each other, and quite possibly, to you can be a good alternative.

What follows is a list of thirteen of the best pieces of advice from some of the most successful people who have ever lived. If you want to learn how to be successful, these 13 tips are essential:

1. Think Big

    From Michelangelo Buonarroti, Great Renaissance Artist:

    “The greater danger for most of us lies not in setting our aim too high and falling short; but in setting our aim too low, and achieving our mark.”

    There are few artists as influential as Michaelangelo. Today centuries after his death, his work still inspires and connects to people. His work is world famous, just think of his statue of David, or the Mural in the Sistine Chapel in the Vatican.

    Imagine then, if he decided not to work as an artist.

    Being a successful artist has always been extremely difficult, imagine if he decided to give up this ambition in favour of something easier?

    Oftentimes, people often decided to put their dreams aside for something more “realistic”. To give up their dream for something easier. This quote teaches us the danger of such a point of view.
    Instead be ambitious.

    2. Find What You Love to Do and Do It

      From Oprah Winfrey, Media Mogul:

      “You know you are on the road to success if you would do your job and not be paid for it.”

      This is a good quote to remember and think about when you’re at work.

      Imagine being as successful as possible in your current job. Ultimately you’ll probably find yourself working extremely hard and this it will take up much of your time.

      If it’s a job you hate, then being successful at it might only mean filling your life with something you hate to do. What’s the sense in this?

      Instead, why not focus on doing something you love? When you’ve found what you’re passionate about, you get the motivation to keep you moving. Success at this means the fulfilment of your dreams.

      Not sure what your passion is yet? You should learn about this Motivation Engine first.

      Even if you’re not successful, you still filled your time with something you love to do. Many successful musicians spent years of their lives doing unpaid performances, the only reason they kept playing was because they loved to perform.

      3. Learn How to Balance Life

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        From Phil Knight, CEO of Nike Inc.:

        “There is an immutable conflict at work in life and in business, a constant battle between peace and chaos. Neither can be mastered, but both can be influenced. How you go about that is the key to success.”

        All too often, people think that to be successful, they need to make the object of their success their life.

        If a person thinks their job will lead them to success, then they may spend countless hours per day, and well into the evening working hard.

        However this comes at the cost of rest, your health and having an enjoyable life. Ultimately they may burn out and cease to be successful at their job anyway.

        If success comes from having a strong social life and a good group of friends, their job may suffer; meaning that they may lose their job, and then be unable to afford going out with friends.

        In these ways, success, as Phil Knight says above, is helped by balance. Think of it as a balance between rest and work, or work and play.

        To achieve that balance, this Ultimate Guide to Prioritizing Your Work And Life can help you.

        4. Do Not Be Afraid of Failure

          From Henry Ford, Founder of Ford Motors:

          “Failure is simply the opportunity to begin again, this time more intelligently.”

          There is a story, it’s unconfirmed whether it actually happened, yet the message within is none the less true:

          Thomas Edison inventing the lightbulb was the result of several hundred failed attempts. In an interview, he was asked “How do you feel after all of your failed attempts?”

          His response was great, “I didn’t fail, I learned hundreds of ways not to invent the lightbulb”

          He saw each “failure” as a lesson. From that lesson he learned what won’t work, and also might work instead.

          Each failed attempt, each rejection, were key steps on his path to success. It is easy to feel like you should give up after a failure. But perhaps in that failure is a lesson.

          Pay attention to your failures, study them. Perhaps then you’ll learn how to succeed.

          If you find it difficult to fight your fear of failure, here’s a guide for you: Why You Have the Fear of Failure (And How to Conquer It Step-By-Step)

          5. Have an Unwavering Resolution to Succeed

            From Colonel Sanders, Founder of KFC:

            “I made a resolve then that I was going to amount to something if I could. And no hours, nor amount of labor, nor amount of money would deter me from giving the best that there was in me. And I have done that ever since, and I win by it. I know.”

            This, in many ways relates to the above quote about learning from your failures.

            It’s the easiest thing in the world to give up from a failure. The only way to push on is if you have the true burning desire to succeed, to not be moved or dissuaded from your goals.

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            If you are not truly dedicated towards success, then each failure will hurt more, each set back will slow you down.

            Success is hard; without the unwavering desire to succeed, this difficulty may seem insurmountable. With the desire, it is merely an obstacle to go through.

            6. Be a Person of Action

              From Leonardo da Vinci, Renaissance Genius:

              “It had long since come to my attention that people of accomplishment rarely sat back and let things happen to them. They went out and happened to things.”

              Though it was said hundreds of years ago, it works just as much today as it ever had. It applies to literally any successful person.

              Think about it, picture someone like William Shakespeare:

              When we think of the time he lived in, we think of the time in a way shaped by him. When we think of Renaissance era Italy, we think of Michelangelo and Leonardo Da Vinci. Or think about the present day, Bill Gates or Steve Jobs. Our current way of life would simply be incomparably different if they didn’t accomplish what they did.

              You’re probably reading this article on a device by a company that they either founded or companies influenced by them.

              All these figures were proactive, they saw ways to do things differently and did them. If they let the world shape them, then they’d simply fit into the background. Instead they shaped the world.

              Applying this to you?

              Don’t be afraid of going outside the norm. If you can think of a better way to do something, do it that way. If you fail, try again.

              7. Cultivate Positive Relationships

                From Theodore Roosevelt, 26th President of America: “

                The most important single ingredient in the formula of success is knowing how to get along with people.”

                The best leaders and some of the most influential people (and Theodore Roosevelt is one of the best leaders and one of the most influential people to have lived) were not those who caused commotions, who fought with people or disregarded people; but were people who were friendly to those around them.

                People liked them. They wanted them to do well.

                This is key to good leadership.

                It’s logical. If someone likes you, they want to help you; if you give them a suggestion, they’ll gladly follow through with it.

                But if someone doesn’t like you, they may either refuse to help or actively get in your way.

                What’s more, it’s always a good idea to cultivate good relationships. You can never tell who will prove to become someone who’ll be able to help you in a big way, or even be a good and supportive friend.

                As such, help people and they may help you; and be good to people, and they my be good to you.

                8. Don’t Be Afraid of Introducing New Ideas

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                  From Mark Twain, Famed Author:

                  “A person with a new idea is a crank until the idea succeeds.”

                  It is an unfortunate truth that those with the boldest ideas are often disregarded.

                  Most of us are taught from an early age to think and do things similarly to everyone else. This can be great to fill an existing role. But to truly do things differently (and all successful people did things differently), you need to think differently.

                  If you have a new idea, don’t throw it away because it’s new and different; instead, celebrate it. Your strange new idea might one day be the one that leads you to success.

                  9. Believe in Your Capacity to Succeed

                    From Walter Disney, Founder of Walt Disney Company:

                    “If you can dream it, you can do it.”

                    Success has to be something you can imagine yourself achieving.

                    It is possible that you will come across those who doubt you and your ability to succeed. You must not become one of these people because the moment you cease believing and dreaming is the moment these dreams fall away.

                    Keep dreaming!

                    10. Always Maintain a Positive Mental Attitude

                      From Thomas Jefferson, 3rd President of America:

                      “Nothing can stop the man with the right mental attitude from achieving his goal; nothing on earth can help the man with the wrong mental attitude.”

                      Like the above quote says, you need to trust in your ability to succeed. This is the only way to cultivate the right mindset.

                      Replace negative thoughts with the positive ones. You need to approach problems, not as obstacles stopping you, but merely tasks that need to be completed for you to keep going.

                      If you stay positive and think like this, setbacks won’t affect you so much, people’s doubts won’t impact you and even the biggest obstacles will seem like minor problems.

                      However with the wrong mindset of doubt, you’ll be much easier to stop.

                      11. Don’t Let Discouragement Stop You from Pressing On

                        From Abraham Lincoln, 16th President of America:

                        “Let no feeling of discouragement prey upon you, and in the end you are sure to succeed.”

                        It is an unfortunate fact of human nature — all of us in some way, doubt ourselves. This can be made far worse if others doubt us too.

                        When surrounded by doubts, giving up can actually seem like a good idea.

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                        Don’t pay attention to the doubts. If you are discouraged, ignore it.

                        If this discouragement moves into your mind and you begin to doubt yourself. It is important to ignore this too.

                        This is How Self Doubt Keeps You Stuck and How to Overcome It

                        12. Be Willing to Work Hard

                          From JC Penny, Founder of JC Penney Inc.:

                          “Unless you are willing to drench yourself in your work beyond the capacity of the average man, you are just not cut out for positions at the top.”

                          You might have heard the quote that “success is 1% inspiration, 99% perspiration” or you may have heard about the 10,000 hours idea.

                          Whichever way you frame it, they say one thing:

                          True success comes from work.

                          You’ll never become successful if you don’t work towards your goal in life and keep working towards it.

                          Check out this article and you’ll understand Why Hard Work Beats Talent.

                          13. Be Brave Enough to Follow Your Intuition

                            From Steve Jobs, Co-founder of Apple Inc.:

                            “Have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.”

                            In ancient Greece, there was a group of Oracles who lived in Delphi. Everyone who needed advice or to know their future visited them, from the poorest of society to kings. Above the doorway of the temple were the words “know thyself”.

                            If you strongly believe and desire something, chances are that you already have an idea how to get there. If not, you may naturally know what things will help you and what things will slow you down.

                            It’s like how your body can detect danger even when things seem safe.

                            Ultimately then, you need to trust your own instincts.

                            Final Thoughts

                            What you might have noticed is that many of the above lessons are similar — most are about developing the right state of mind. This clearly suggests that the key to achieving success, in whatever you wish, comes down to the way you approach it mentally.

                            Moreover, no matter what stage of life you’re at now, you can still make a difference and pursue success. You can make resetting your life possible when you do this: How to Start Over and Reboot Your Life When It Seems Too Late

                            More to Help You Succeed in Life

                            Featured photo credit: Ryan Wong via unsplash.com

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