Advertising
Advertising

7 Ways to Thrive Now By Fixing Mistakes From The Past

7 Ways to Thrive Now By Fixing Mistakes From The Past

If you’re getting older, you may be shaking your head as you reflect on the actions you made throughout the years. The wise person you are today can’t fathom what you were possibly thinking during the less than naive days of your youth. Looking to the past with an open heart and objective mind can allow you to self-check some of these hiccups as a result of being more self-aware. Don’t be hard on yourself for the decisions you made that caused pain, setbacks, and catastrophes. In the end, you learned a lot and grew, which is what the human experience is about. Maybe you didn’t know any better at the time, or maybe you were inexperienced at managing a certain situation.

Personally, I’ve made a great deal of mistakes in the past, but I can say that at 40, I have done enough reflection and correction to live a life not watered down by past mistakes. Here’s how you can too!

Advertising

1. Value Your Friends

Do you remember putting your boyfriend or girlfriend before everything else? You had close friends and a good social circle and as soon as you got together with someone, you ghosted your best and closest friends. You may have lost them along the way because of this. It’s a common mistake when we’re young, but if this became a habit, it’s time to place value on your friendships. You will begin to see as you grow older that true friends are rare, even rarer than finding a significant other. To thrive now, dedicate yourself to people you care about in the same way you might in a marriage or committed partnership. Plan a night each week for hanging out. Here’s another secret: your relationship will be better off when you have a life outside of your partner.

2. Go Back To School

You couldn’t foresee the future when you flunked out of college or got a degree you never used. Maybe you’re in a career you don’t like as a direct result of choices in your youth. It’s never too late to go back to school and thrive now in your desired profession, even if you’re middle aged. Going back to school as an older adult has its perks. For example, you will probably do much better because you’re more responsible now and know what you truly want. Through the years, you’ve likely gained a better idea of what you’re meant to do and built up your ability to persevere through challenges. The good news is, you don’t have to sit in a classroom to gain a degree anymore. You can option to do courses online. Whatever you do, don’t put off going back. The opportunity’s there so grab it.

Advertising

3. Deal With That Tattoo On Your Shoulder

If you are one of many that got a tattoo in your youth, it may not suit the person you are today. That butterfly on your chest might not seem as whimsical anymore. Whatever significance it held is lost, you’ve changed, and you’re tired of looking at this permanent reminder of bad judgement. You may decide to have a new tattoo design that has more significance to you and who you are in the present day cover your old one. If you’re really not interested in having a tattoo anymore, you can have it removed. By doing something new or getting rid of your old tattoo altogether, you are making intentional changes to let the “old you” go. This small change could be just the beginning of many great things to come in your life.

4. Change Your Health Regime

If you were lazy in your youth but had a great figure anyway, you may be finding that the same rules don’t apply anymore. Your metabolism starts to slow down and the body changes how it breaks down the food you eat. You may have made the mistake of taking your health for granted back in your 20’s. You can thrive now by dedicating yourself to healthier foods and exercising daily. If you weren’t active for many years, you’ll probably want to start slow. Yoga is a good start and helps get rid of stress while promoting self-reflection.

Advertising

5. Forgive Yourself And Others

During your lifetime up until now, you’ve probably experienced a falling out with someone, a bad breakup or a fight. You’ve probably been hurt and were likely responsible for someone else’s pain as well. What you may not realize is some of the unexplainable triggers you experience that cause issues are coming from your past. Forgiving yourself for past mistakes where you hurt yourself or others will allow you to let go.[1] If someone broke your heart or really pissed you off in your youth, it’s time for you to forgive them too. As the popular saying goes, “Holding onto anger is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die.” You are only hurting yourself and you may not even realize it.

6. Seek Out Opportunities You Didn’t Previously Accept

During your youth, you may have missed out on an opportunity that still haunts you to this day. If it’s a tangible opportunity that still exists, go after it now. If you are basing the opportunity on the feeling it would have given you had you taken it, explore what can give you a similar feeling. For example, if someone offered you an opportunity to model, what was it that you wished you could have experienced? Maybe it was the traveling aspect, wearing beautiful clothes, or being the center of attention. Those aspects of the opportunity itself are still available so work towards that experience.

Advertising

7. Get Out Of Debt

Oh, the money we wasted on unnecessary things in our youth. This may have racked up some debt that you’ve been carrying around with you for years. It’s time to say goodbye to the financial chains that bind you.[2] My plan to eradicate $15,000 of debt I incurred while flunking out of college, buying a sports car, and spending too much on clothes included a few hard years. I worked in ski resort that paid for accommodation and food. I didn’t have a car, a credit card, or much of a life really. I read a lot of books and worked as much as I could. It took about two years, but at the end of it, I was debt-free and ended up being a travel fanatic. Getting out of debt and saving money makes you conscious about living more simply. I learned a lot and gained a lot of life experience from it.

As you reflect on the things you did wrong in the past that are still haunting you today, you now know how to rectify them. Value the people in your life, forgive those that wronged you in the past, and forgive yourself too. Get rid of the things that don’t serve you today and allow those pitfalls from your youth be the lessons they were meant to be.

Reference

[1] http://tinybuddha.com/blog/how-to-forgive-someone-when-its-hard-30-tips-to-let-go-of-anger/
[2] http://www.forbes.com/sites/laurashin/2015/05/31/the-ultimate-guide-to-getting-out-of-debt/#4cf0c25f24cc

More by this author

Loraine Couturier

Content creation and marketing

How To Mend A Broken Heart After A Heart-breaking Goodbye Insecurities Are Hidden Wounds That Take Time to Heal in Any Relationships 7 Things “I Love You” Doesn’t Mean 7 Ways to Thrive Now By Fixing Mistakes From The Past 5 Non-Surgical Ways to Look Younger at 40

Trending in Culture

1 18 Dating Ideas with Breathtaking Scenery in the East of England 2 18 Things You Need To Know Before You Get Your First Tattoo 3 7 Tools to Optimize Your Next Long-Term Traveling Experience 4 30 Free Dating Ideas For Landscape-Lovers In Ireland 5 5 Vital Steps to Starve the Ego and Feed the Soul

Read Next

Advertising
Advertising
Advertising

Last Updated on January 21, 2020

The Best Way to Create a Vision for the Life You Want

The Best Way to Create a Vision for the Life You Want

Creating a vision for your life might seem like a frivolous, fantastical waste of time, but it’s not: creating a compelling vision of the life you want is actually one of the most effective strategies for achieving the life of your dreams. Perhaps the best way to look at the concept of a life vision is as a compass to help guide you to take the best actions and make the right choices that help propel you toward your best life.

your vision of where or who you want to be is the greatest asset you have

    Why You Need a Vision

    Experts and life success stories support the idea that with a vision in mind, you are more likely to succeed far beyond what you could otherwise achieve without a clear vision. Think of crafting your life vision as mapping a path to your personal and professional dreams. Life satisfaction and personal happiness are within reach. The harsh reality is that if you don’t develop your own vision, you’ll allow other people and circumstances to direct the course of your life.

    Advertising

    How to Create Your Life Vision

    Don’t expect a clear and well-defined vision overnight—envisioning your life and determining the course you will follow requires time, and reflection. You need to cultivate vision and perspective, and you also need to apply logic and planning for the practical application of your vision. Your best vision blossoms from your dreams, hopes, and aspirations. It will resonate with your values and ideals, and will generate energy and enthusiasm to help strengthen your commitment to explore the possibilities of your life.

    What Do You Want?

    The question sounds deceptively simple, but it’s often the most difficult to answer. Allowing yourself to explore your deepest desires can be very frightening. You may also not think you have the time to consider something as fanciful as what you want out of life, but it’s important to remind yourself that a life of fulfillment does not usually happen by chance, but by design.

    It’s helpful to ask some thought-provoking questions to help you discover the possibilities of what you want out of life. Consider every aspect of your life, personal and professional, tangible and intangible. Contemplate all the important areas, family and friends, career and success, health and quality of life, spiritual connection and personal growth, and don’t forget about fun and enjoyment.

    Advertising

    Some tips to guide you:

    • Remember to ask why you want certain things
    • Think about what you want, not on what you don’t want.
    • Give yourself permission to dream.
    • Be creative. Consider ideas that you never thought possible.
    • Focus on your wishes, not what others expect of you.

    Some questions to start your exploration:

    • What really matters to you in life? Not what should matter, what does matter.
    • What would you like to have more of in your life?
    • Set aside money for a moment; what do you want in your career?
    • What are your secret passions and dreams?
    • What would bring more joy and happiness into your life?
    • What do you want your relationships to be like?
    • What qualities would you like to develop?
    • What are your values? What issues do you care about?
    • What are your talents? What’s special about you?
    • What would you most like to accomplish?
    • What would legacy would you like to leave behind?

    It may be helpful to write your thoughts down in a journal or creative vision board if you’re the creative type. Add your own questions, and ask others what they want out of life. Relax and make this exercise fun. You may want to set your answers aside for a while and come back to them later to see if any have changed or if you have anything to add.

    Advertising

    What Would Your Best Life Look Like?

    Describe your ideal life in detail. Allow yourself to dream and imagine, and create a vivid picture. If you can’t visualize a picture, focus on how your best life would feel. If you find it difficult to envision your life 20 or 30 years from now, start with five years—even a few years into the future will give you a place to start. What you see may surprise you. Set aside preconceived notions. This is your chance to dream and fantasize.

    A few prompts to get you started:

    • What will you have accomplished already?
    • How will you feel about yourself?
    • What kind of people are in your life? How do you feel about them?
    • What does your ideal day look like?
    • Where are you? Where do you live? Think specifics, what city, state, or country, type of community, house or an apartment, style and atmosphere.
    • What would you be doing?
    • Are you with another person, a group of people, or are you by yourself?
    • How are you dressed?
    • What’s your state of mind? Happy or sad? Contented or frustrated?
    • What does your physical body look like? How do you feel about that?
    • Does your best life make you smile and make your heart sing? If it doesn’t, dig deeper, dream bigger.

    It’s important to focus on the result, or at least a way-point in your life. Don’t think about the process for getting there yet—that’s the next stepGive yourself permission to revisit this vision every day, even if only for a few minutes. Keep your vision alive and in the front of your mind.

    Advertising

    Plan Backwards

    It may sound counter-intuitive to plan backwards rather than forwards, but when you’re planning your life from the end result, it’s often more useful to consider the last step and work your way back to the first. This is actually a valuable and practical strategy for making your vision a reality.

    • What’s the last thing that would’ve had to happen to achieve your best life?
    • What’s the most important choice you would’ve had to make?
    • What would you have needed to learn along the way?
    • What important actions would you have had to take?
    • What beliefs would you have needed to change?
    • What habits or behaviors would you have had to cultivate?
    • What type of support would you have had to enlist?
    • How long will it have taken you to realize your best life?
    • What steps or milestones would you have needed to reach along the way?

    Now it’s time to think about your first step, and the next step after that. Ponder the gap between where you are now and where you want to be in the future. It may seem impossible, but it’s quite achievable if you take it step-by-step.

    It’s important to revisit this vision from time to time. Don’t be surprised if your answers to the questions, your technicolor vision, and the resulting plans change. That can actually be a very good thing; as you change in unforeseeable ways, the best life you envision will change as well. For now, it’s important to use the process, create your vision, and take the first step towards making that vision a reality.

    Featured photo credit: Matt Noble via unsplash.com

    Read Next