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How To Stop Emotional Abuse And Communicate Effectively

How To Stop Emotional Abuse And Communicate Effectively

Stop Emotional Abuse So You Can Build Better Relationships

I have a story to share with you today.

Something happened this morning that made me reflect rather deeply about myself. I gained a new perspective on emotional abuse.

The weather was freezing out, but I had to take the train to work. I was running late, because I never know what to wear and was wasting time in front of the mirror trying to decide. (Yup—I’m one of those people.)

As I got to the station, the train I wanted to catch was just pulling away! Gosh, why today?

Well, it was only a 10-minute wait until the next one but when you don’t enjoy the bitter cold it can feel like taking a stroll in Antartica naked.

I observed a guy in his 30s, texting intensely on his phone. He kept sighing and tapping his right shoe against the metal pole of the seat in the waiting area. Never looked up for a single second. He was fixated on what he was doing. Frustrated as ever.

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We got on the train and funny enough we ended up sitting across from one another. I watched him intently as he dialed a number. This made me curious (and nosy). I was interested in eavesdropping, hoping to hear what had gotten him so worked up.

I heard the beep sound—it has gone to voicemail. DRAT! He spoke into the phone saying these exact words: “I know you still don’t want to talk, it has been two days. I said I was sorry. I was wrong, but you ignoring me is far more painful than what I did to you.”

He hung up the phone, lifted his head and made eye contact with me.

His deep green eyes looked sad and tired, red and swollen from tears or, perhaps, lack of sleep. I thought gosh, whoever is doing this to him must be a real jerk.

I don’t approve of psychological punishment.

Why Am I Telling You This?

Well, just like a slap in the face—it hit me. I was guilty.

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I have done the exact same thing! Maybe even hurt someone the same way as the guy was hurting.

Giving the silent treatment for long durations of time is a form of emotional abuse. It is a good weapon of choice because it’s powerful. A form of inflicting pain without visible bruising.

If you are regularly giving your friends, partner, and/or family members this type of treatment, you need to stop.

Reasons People Give The Silent Treatment:

  • Deliberately trying to hurt or punish you
  • Want full control of the situation
  • Are avoiding a confrontation

How Do You Deal With And Practice Effective Communication?

If one or both of you need space, establish it.

You need to have patience, which is hard when you are hurt and angry.

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If someone is purposefully trying to hurt you through the silent treatment and acting out of malice, analyze the situation. Remember, this is emotional abuse and is a sign of an unhealthy relationship.

There is a lack of effective communication and you need to decide whether it is a relationship you want to grow or walk away from.

This does not only apply to your spouse, but friends, colleagues, and acquaintances as well. Don’t ever let anyone tell you or make you feel like you don’t matter.

You do.

5 Ways To Stops Emotional Abuse And Practice Effective Communication

We say one thing, the other person hears something else, and misunderstandings, frustration, and conflicts ensue.

Fortunately, you can learn how to communicate more clearly and effectively by:

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  • Agreeing it’s okay to disagree
  • Actively listening
  • Being present
  • Finding your voice
  • Being honest but mindful of the feelings of others

It is important for you to understand the emotions and intentions behind the information.

Practice Effective Communication Daily

It is a learned skill and the glue that helps you deepen your relationships and connections to others.

By practicing effective communication, you and those around you will be more respectful to one another and you will see your relationships flourish.

Are you able to convey information to people clearly and simply in a mature and fair way?

How do you practice effective communication? Please share in the comments section below.

Featured photo credit: Pixabay via pixabay.com

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Sheri Leinfellner

Lifestyle, Self-Improvement & Travel Blogging

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Last Updated on June 13, 2019

How to Quit Your Boring Life and Start Living an Interesting One

How to Quit Your Boring Life and Start Living an Interesting One

Think you have a boring life?

The definition of boring is dull or not interesting. Maybe you’ve been doing the same thing and living the same life for too long, or maybe your daily routine is limiting your growth and happiness. Whatever your reason is, the following list of 20 things can definitely make any day more interesting. Some of them are silly, while some are more meaningful, so hopefully just reading the list makes your life less boring and sparks your creativity.

Let’s dive in the list to quit your boring life and start living an interesting (and meaning) one!

1. Channel Your 7-Year-Old Self

What would he or she want to do right now? Color? Paint? Run around outside? Play dress up? Eat with your hands? Play that instrument hiding in the back of your closet that you haven’t touched in years?

Just because you’re a grown up doesn’t mean any of this stuff will be less enjoyable than you remember it. Give yourself permission to play.

2. Go Play with Kids

Speaking of little kids, if you have your own or access to any (in a non-creepy way, like they’re your niece or your best friend’s kid, you get the idea) go play with them!

They didn’t create an entire show called Kids Say The Darndest Things because kids aren’t hilarious. They also keep things so simple, and we can really stand to be reminded of this and stop allowing ourselves to get bogged down in boring details.

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3. Order a Hot Dog

While you’re eating it, Google: “What’s in a hot dog?” You decide whether or not you want to finish it.

4. For the Ladies: Wear Your Sexiest Lingerie Under Your Work Clothes

Your “little secret” will leave you feeling anything but boring all day!

5. Play Cell Phone Roulette

You’ll need at least one buddy for this. Scroll through the contacts in your phone, stop on a random one and call the person.

You could spark an incredible catch up session or be incredibly awkward. Neither are boring.

6. Fill out a Pack of Thank-You Cards

Give them to random people who probably don’t get thanked too often for doing what they do ever day.

Ideas: police officers, librarians, servers, baristas, cab drivers, sanitation workers, teachers, people behind any check out counter, receptionists, your friends, the guy at the falafel stand, etc.

7. Sign up for a Class in Something You’ve “Always Wanted to Do”, or Something That Makes You Really Uncomfortable

Ideas: pole dancing, salsa lessons, improv, pottery, cooking, knitting (yup, there are classes for this, too!), karate, boxing, something techy like the workshops they run in Apple stores, get Rosetta Stone and learn that language you’ve always wanted to speak, etc.

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What’s good about joining an interest class is that you will also meet new people!

8. Interview Your Grandparents About Their Lives

You can bet they’ve had some crazy experiences you probably never knew about.

9. Get up on Stage at an Open Mic Night

Whether you’re funny or not, get up on stage and just talk funny. And if you’re not, memorize a few of your favorite jokes and tell those!

10. Do Something for Someone Else That You Wish Someone Would Do for You

We all have a few ideas on this list. I promise you will feel amazing after and anything but bored.

11. Start a DIY Project in Your Home

It doesn’t have to be super complicated. If you need ideas, there’re plenty on Pinterest. Or you can also check out these 30 Awesome DIY Projects that You’ve Never Heard of.

12. Plan a Weekend Trip or an All-Out Vacation

This will give you something to look forward to.

Even if you don’t have the time or money to go on a vacation, plan for a staycation, which is same fun and relaxing!

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13. People Watch

Find a bench in a crowded area (centers of transportation like airports, bus stops and train stations are great for this!) and just observe.

People are infinitely interesting.

14. Eat Something You’ve Never Eaten Before

Bonus points if it’s a random fruit or veggie.

15. Dance

You can get your friends together for a night on the town or just pull up a video on YouTube and bust a move from your own living room.

If you’re feeling extra brave, you can even dance in public and get other people involved.

16. Go to YOUTUBE and Search “Funny Pets” or “Funny Babies”

This is also a great quickie ab workout as you will be laughing hysterically.

17. Pick up a Book and Start Reading

Check out the NY Times Best Sellers lists and grab a new book you can get lost in.

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18. Step Away from the Computer and Go Get Some Time with People You Care About in Real Life

Facebook stalking doesn’t count as real social interaction. You can even share this post with your friends and vote on which one you’d like to do together!

19. Check out a Museum You’ve Never Been to Before

OK, depending on your interests, this one might actually be boring. If you love learning, art or different cultures though, this one is for you!

20. Write a List of Things You Desire and Truly Want

This is a great way to help you figure out the real reason why you’re feeling bored about your life. Maybe you haven’t really done things that you truly enjoy? Maybe what you’ve wanted to do all the time has been left behind?

Think about the list of things you really want to do, and ask yourself why you aren’t doing these things (yet). Then start taking your first step to make what you want happen.

Now go make your life interesting and live your dream life!

More About Living a Fulfilling Life

Featured photo credit: Kev Costello via unsplash.com

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