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3 Ways To Get Your Man More Committed To You

3 Ways To Get Your Man More Committed To You

Getting the guy you are interested in to want to commit to you is not so easy these days. In the beginning, a man can fall in love with a woman but how far can this love go? Love is often easy in the beginning and falling in love is rarely the hard part, it’s the staying in love that proves to be. A little blunder can sabotage the love, but a little meaningful correction can keep the love burning. Truthfully speaking, every woman wants to have a man that loves her forever, but some women do take the wrong step in the early stages of relationships, which in the long run, leaves them heartbroken and emotionally depressed. Getting and keeping your man committed to you can be easily achieved, but you need to adhere to some basic things.

For any man to get down on one knee, propose, say “I do” at the ceremony, and kiss your lips before the congregation, the proper steps must be done and that means what? Win his heart. And just how do you win his heart? Well, if you are among the women looking for a way to capture and win your man’s heart and get your man so committed to you that he asks for your hand in marriage, then this article is for you.

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1. Be your real and authentic self

The biggest blunder women make is adding on airs and pretending to be someone they are not. You watch those feminine celebrities on television, the way they dress and angle their hips while walking, what they say and do, and the men who are lusting after them. You might think doing the same thing will cause your man to love you? No, he will only lust after you and not love you. Being a carbon copy of a “cool girl” does both you and him a disservice in the end.

Have you ever thought if how the reaction of the man would be when he comes to determine that all along the line you might have been putting on and not really being true to yourself? The man won’t forgive you and even if he does, that relationship will go down the drain because it’s built on a lie. A man would appreciate a woman that comes as she is. Be real and you would definitely win your man’s heart.

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2. Set boundaries and have standards

Having limitations and boundaries for what you allow in a relationship is good, especially as a woman. Some women feel that a person would love them more if they cater to the every need that their man has. The fact that you want him to love you does not mean that you have to place yourself in a position that symbolizes that he is your all. Don’t be too emotionally dependent on the man either. Instead, opt to be happy even without the man in your life.

Set a standard for yourself that you uphold when it comes to intimacy. Men don’t typically think about the long-term with women who are ready to jump in bed with them on the first date. Make him work for it and exude the high self-worth that you have by showing him how much you value you. In the event that he treats you in a way that is not appealing to you, let him know that.

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If a man knows that he is always getting away with anything he wants, you start to lose value because if you can’t see or uphold your worth, he can’t either. Love can’t flourish in a place where respect isn’t mutual. So, for your man to meet you at the altar in the end, learn to set high standards for yourself.

3. Don’t force him

Forcing or pushing a man to love you is completely wrong. In the event that a man doesn’t love you, there is nothing you can possibly do, no matter how much force you apply to the matter. It will eventually only get worse when you try pushing a man to propose and get married to you. If your man truly loves you, he may surely put a ring on your finger, so you don’t have to remind him or force him to do so. When a man knows, he knows. Have faith in his feelings for you and have confidence in what you bring to the table.

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Forcing him to do something he has not explicitly said he wants to do shows that you are desperate, and trust me, men don’t truly love desperate women. Give your man some space, withdraw yourself a little, and bring the focus back to you and your life. If a man sees you loving yourself and avoiding desperate behaviors that women often fall victim to, he can come wholeheartedly to you. A guy is more likely to marry a woman who he is more comfortable with than a woman who is always forcing herself on him.[1]

Featured photo credit: Getty Images via mirror.co.uk

Reference

[1]http://www.sabtrends.com/2016/07/Modernladies.html

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Saminu Abass

Content Writer and Blogger

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Last Updated on September 10, 2018

Overcoming The Pain Of A Breakup: 3 Suggestions Based On Science

Overcoming The Pain Of A Breakup: 3 Suggestions Based On Science

We thought that the expression ‘broken heart’ was just a metaphor, but science is telling us that it is not: breakups and rejections do cause physical pain. When a group of psychologists asked research participants to look at images of their ex-partners who broke up with them, researchers found that the same brain areas that are activated by physical pain are also activated by looking at images of ex-partners. Looking at images of our ex is a painful experience, literally.[1].

Given that the effect of rejections and breakups is the same as the effect of physical pain, scientists have speculated on whether the practices that reduce physical pain could be used to reduce the emotional pain that follows from breakups and rejections. In a study on whether painkillers reduce the emotional pain caused by a breakup, researchers found that painkillers did help. Individuals who took painkillers were better able to deal with their breakup. Tamar Cohen wrote that “A simple dose of paracetamol could help ease the pain of a broken heart.”[2]

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Just like painkillers can be used to ease the pain of a broken heart, other practices that ease physical pain can also be used to ease the pain of rejections and breakups. Three of these scientifically validated practices are presented in this article.

Looking at images of loved ones

While images of ex-partners stimulate the pain neuro-circuitry in our brain, images of loved ones activate a different circuitry. Looking at images of people who care about us increases the release of oxytocin in our body. Oxytocin, or the “cuddle hormone,” is the hormone that our body relies on to induce in us a soothing feeling of tranquility, even when we are under high stress and pain.

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In fact, oxytocin was found to have a crucial role as a mother is giving birth to her baby. Despite the extreme pain that a mother has to endure during delivery, the high level of oxytocin secreted by her body transforms pain into pleasure. Mariem Melainine notes that, “Oxytocin levels are usually at their peak during delivery, which promotes a sense of euphoria in the mother and helps her develop a stronger bond with her baby.”[3]

Whenever you feel tempted to look at images of your ex-partner, log into your Facebook page and start browsing images of your loved ones. As Eva Ritvo, M.D. notes, “Facebook fools our brain into believing that loved ones surround us, which historically was essential to our survival. The human brain, because it evolved thousands of years before photography, fails on many levels to recognize the difference between pictures and people”[4]

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Exercise

Endorphins are neurotransmitters that reduce our perception of pain. When our body is high on endorphins, painful sensations are kept outside of conscious awareness. It was found that exercise causes endorphins to be secreted in the brain and as a result produce a feeling of power, as psychologist Alex Korb noted in his book: “Exercise causes your brain to release endorphins, neurotransmitters that act on your neurons like opiates (such as morphine or Vicodin) by sending a neural signal to reduce pain and provide anxiety relief.”[5] By inhibiting pain from being transmitted to our brain, exercise acts as a powerful antidote to the pain caused by rejections and breakups.

Meditation

Jon Kabat Zinn, a doctor who pioneered the use of mindfulness meditation therapy for patients with chronic pain, has argued that it is not pain itself that is harmful to our mental health, rather, it is the way we react to pain. When we react to pain with irritation, frustration, and self-pity, more pain is generated, and we enter a never ending spiral of painful thoughts and sensations.

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In order to disrupt the domino effect caused by reacting to pain with pain, Kabat Zinn and other proponents of mindfulness meditation therapy have suggested reacting to pain through nonjudgmental contemplation and acceptance. By practicing meditation on a daily basis and getting used to the habit of paying attention to the sensations generated by our body (including the painful ones and by observing these sensations nonjudgmentally and with compassion) our brain develops the habit of reacting to pain with grace and patience.

When you find yourself thinking about a recent breakup or a recent rejection, close your eyes and pay attention to the sensations produced by your body. Take deep breaths and as you are feeling the sensations produced by your body, distance yourself from them, and observe them without judgment and with compassion. If your brain starts wandering and gets distracted, gently bring back your compassionate nonjudgmental attention to your body. Try to do this exercise for one minute and gradually increase its duration.

With consistent practice, nonjudgmental acceptance will become our default reaction to breakups, rejections, and other disappointments that we experience in life. Every rejection and every breakup teaches us great lessons about relationships and about ourselves.

Featured photo credit: condesign via pixabay.com

Reference

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