Advertising
Advertising

How 24 Hours in Malaysia Changed My Life

How 24 Hours in Malaysia Changed My Life

The first country I had ever gone to on my own, visiting no one and knew not a soul, was Malaysia. I’ve been there a few times now but I will never forget the first time I stepped foot there. It was only for 24 hours but those 24 hours changed my perspective and outlook on people and life forever.

They say that you grow the most when you’re out of your comfort zone. I have to say that I completely, utterly agree with this statement. Going overseas completely alone, not knowing how to speak the language and not knowing one single person in the whole country was definitely out of my comfort zone. I was 22 at the time and I must admit, I will never forget this trip. There were two people in particular that I had met in Kuala Lumpur, both who have left me with some valuable lessons.

The Taxi Driver

It was 2011, here I was just landed in Malaysia. I had no idea where I was going and was searching frantically to exit the airport. Where were all the signs in English? I just wanted a taxi and I found myself lost in the Kuala Lumpur Airport. After what felt like hours, I finally found the taxi rank and hopped into a cab.

“Where are you going?” The taxi driver asked. I buckled my seat belt as I replied, “I don’t know, where would you recommend?” There was silence. Then he laughed, “You don’t know where you are going? Who comes into another country and doesn’t know where they are going?”

Advertising

I was a little nervous when I responded. “Well, I was in Thailand for the last month and didn’t realise I could only be in the country for 30 days, so I left and am heading back there in 24 hours so I can stay another 30 days!” The look on the taxi driver’s face was priceless. Looking back, I can totally understand why he was so bewildered.

As he drove, I started flipping through a tour book. One of the “must sees” was China Town. “How about you take me to China Town and I can stay there?” Almost instantly, he shook his head. “No, no, no, you not stay in China Town… very dangerous place, especially if you’re alone.”

To be honest, at this moment, I realised just what I had done and a wave of panic rushed over me. Only I would jump on a plane and have no clue where I was going. Seriously, who does that? Now that this taxi driver knows I’m alone and have no idea where I’m going, anything could happen. I gulped. “Maz, chill out, he is so friendly and his eyes are genuine, nothing but good vibes,” a voice inside my head whispered.

The taxi driver must’ve felt my anxiousness so he started chatting to me. He told me of all the cultural differences and how to show courtesy to the elders. He taught me how to say hello and thank you, then we exchanged stories. I started to relax.

Advertising

The ride was really enjoyable and I learnt a lot in the half hour trip. He then offered to drive me into the city and stop at different hotels, while he waited outside until I found a place I liked. He didn’t charge me any extra than what we originally discussed. “Let me know what time you need to leave for the airport and I will come pick you up.” He smiled and waved as he drove off.

The Stranger on the Street

“Hello!” I turned around to see who was calling out to me, he was a tall, dark man that looked to be in his early to mid 30s. I was in the mall exploring Kuala Lumpur and was not expecting to be running into anyone. I walked faster. He followed and kept calling out to me. My heart started to beat a little faster as I quickened my stride. He still followed while calling out to me.

Suddenly a voice in my head whispered, “Maz, no one knows where you are and if something happens to you, how would they know what happened?” I cringed at the thought. What had I got myself into? Another voice popped into my head, “Maz, you don’t know anyone in this country and you could do with some company, go on and make a new friend!”.A strange feeling of calmness rushed over me. I stopped and turned around to the stranger.

We ended up walking through the streets while he showed me the sights. We went to a bar for a drink and he told me that he had been living there for the last 2 years studying. He told me stories of when he first arrived in Malaysia and the culture shock he experienced. He taught me of the cultural differences and their way of living. We had a great time and I learnt more about Malaysia chatting to him than I would have from walking alone.

Advertising

We left the bar and started wandering some more. He took me to wherever I wanted to see and he was such a gentlemen I felt quite at ease. A lot different to how I felt when he was calling after me in the mall. We then went and had some food, shared some laughs and he walked me home.

What I Learned

Before this experience, I had always been weary of others. I found it hard to trust someone and it took me a while to open up. I worried about people’s intentions before I even got to know them and was always quick to assume the worst before giving anyone a chance.

When I was ready to leave for the airport, the taxi driver was running late and I started to worry that he wasn’t going to turn up. “Maz, you should’ve just booked a cab instead of depending on a stranger.” As I said this to myself a cab pulled up in front of me. “Maz?” He called out. It wasn’t the same taxi driver, how did he know my name?

“Maz, I have to take you to airport. My friend very worried about you making your flight.” He said with a look of concern. “Where is he?” I asked. I was a little nervous that another cab driver had come for me instead. “He was in a car accident, he is in hospital now but he called me because he was worried about you missing your flight. He promised you he would get you to the airport. Jump in, we are running late!”

Advertising

I was in shock. “Oh my, is he okay?” A complete stranger, was worried about me. This stranger was in a hospital bed after a car accident and all he could think about was keeping his promise of getting this random 22 year old girl to the airport? I was speechless.

The guy I had met the night before had walked me home, on the walk home I started running scenarios in my head. Should I pretend I am staying somewhere else so he doesn’t know where I really am staying? Is he going to try and hit on me or even force himself on me? I was preparing for the worst. Instead, he walked me to the door of the hotel, asked for my Facebook so we could stay in touch and he shook my hand and thanked me for the evening.

Here I was thinking up of all the worse scenarios in my head, letting fear rule my mind, when I didn’t need to be anxious, nervous or even pondering on such negative thoughts. It was definitely an eye opener. I learnt that our intuition knows best and if we listen to our guts, it is usually spot on. I learnt that when you open up to others you open up to opportunity and the universe.

We shouldn’t assume the worse in people especially before giving them a chance. Our intuition knows best and we can feel if someone is bad news or has bad motives. If I hadn’t trusted anyone or allowed myself to open up, that trip would’ve turned out pretty boring. We shouldn’t be so quick to judge. It’s all about perspective. Is the glass half full or empty?

Since then, I have taken this newfound attitude with me wherever I go and I tell you what, I have never made so many friends and connections with so many different walks of life. I’ve had a ball getting to know so many people from different backgrounds and some of which are now amazing lifelong friends who I love very dearly. The 24 hours I spent in Malaysia may have been short but it definitely was sweet. So sweet that it changed me forever.

More by this author

The Battle Of The Voices In My Head Be Careful What You Wish For How 24 Hours in Malaysia Changed My Life But He Says He Loves Me: How I Finally Left an Abusive Relationship 3 Simple Tips to Lose Weight and Keep It Off

Trending in 20-Something

1 One Solid Practice for Tackling Low Self-Esteem 2 7 Tools to Optimize Your Next Long-Term Traveling Experience 3 How To Go Through College And Stay Sane 4 The Battle Of The Voices In My Head 5 How to Have the Best Spring With Your Pets

Read Next

Advertising
Advertising
Advertising

Last Updated on February 25, 2020

5 Rules for Overcoming Adversity and Emotional Pain

5 Rules for Overcoming Adversity and Emotional Pain

“Some people choose to see the ugliness in this world, the disarray. I choose to see the beauty. To believe there is an order to our days. A purpose.” – from the popular show, “Westworld”

It’s different for us all. My personal quest for purpose began with five stages of grief and one startling realization that everything’s endlessly fragile. Adversity, as it happens by rule, found me terribly unprepared, so I decided to take my time. Today, I can honestly say that I’ve grown.

Ugliness and beauty, good and evil, pain and laughter – everything in the universe consists of two forces that are opposing but complementary. In the face of difficulty, that is the only mantra you need.

Here’s how I learned it and why you should too, with five simple rules.

Advertising

1. Embrace the Complexity

Quite insidiously, adversities come in all shapes and sizes. Paralyzing physical disabilities, mind-wracking mental problems, ruthless emotional havocs, all leading to the same painful acknowledgement: all the beauty in the world cannot possibly make up for the ugliness that surrounds us. Shattered to pieces, helpless and bare naked, we sit in our therapy chairs, apologizing for being so negative.

Eventually, what it all comes down to is the nature of negative emotion. Our positives overshadow our negatives, thus wrongly teaching us that the road to well-being is paved with nothing but positive feelings and thoughts. How utterly wrong!

“If you’re not failing every now and then, it’s a sign you’re not doing anything innovative”, Woody Allen said.

It’s a classic “learn from your mistakes” rule, but in this case, it implies growing from negative experiences. Make peace with your negativities and embrace beauty and ugliness alike! Accepting this marvellously complex world just as it is will allow you to find purpose in adversity and meaning in misery.

Advertising

2. Find Balance, Regain Control

Still, accepting adversity is only the first step toward eventual victory. One can endure only so much trauma in life; if we’re not prepared to deal with difficulties in a productive way, even the minor setbacks can get us off track. Our strengths come from learning, and the best way to learn is through a series of trials and errors. Just like phases of grief or stages of drug addiction, adversities suggest a disabling loss of control, so find your way to regain it.

Some call it the coping mechanism; for others, it’s a spiritual will. However you choose to name yours, know that not all supporting systems are equally beneficial, though each is effective in its own way. Escapism was mine, but it only helped me retain the illusion of beauty. It wasn’t until I opened up toward the ugliness and accepted the naked truth that I was finally free. Whether you choose to dwell in art, religion and spiritualism, thus feeding your resilience from within or to reach out to others for help, choose wisely.

Whatever the means, the second rule is a golden one: find your inner balance and stick to it. Eventually, it will lead you out of the vicious circle.

3. Fight with Patience

My bargaining turned in depression with a single touch. Fearless and free, my dance instructor timidly put her hands on my shoulders and I realized, for the first time, just how tense, stiff and cloistered I was. And just like that, I started letting go. Adversities have their sneaky ways, but in my experience, becoming aware is what hurts the worst. It took me a year to recover from this little moment of self-discovery, and I know remember it as the edge of the rabbit hole.

Advertising

Some sufferings are impossible to console; I know that now. The only way to get through is to, well, get through. Depression and despair are only the beginning of the excruciatingly unnerving process that ravages the mind and shrivels the soul, and once they strike, there is no easy way back. So, fight them with patience. When your head starts spinning and your feet lose ground, go to your happy place. Over there, you’ll be reminded that nothing is forever, not even our little existential psychosis.

Take a deep breath and say “om”. When things cannot be combated, they have to be endured, so practice patience and learn to let go. Finally, keep repeating to yourself that this too shall pass.

4. Keep Swimming

Nothing is impossible, in the end. Your negative thoughts will gently pour into your positive ones, just as two streams come together to become a river. In the event of the inevitable disaster, one can only be as calm as still water. Suffering teaches patience, and the latter gives rise to flexibility. Ultimately, what is life than a series of unfortunate events and a handful of bright moments in between? If adversities are impossible to avoid, than learn to glide through as smoothly and patiently as water does with rocks.

Even if spirituality isn’t exactly your cup of tea, you have to admit that this is one solid metaphor. Staying adaptable in the face of change will soothe your panic attacks and keep you sane and sober-blooded. Even if you fail, you’ll know exactly how to breathe and face what’s in front of you once it eventually strikes again. Stay calm and visualize a better tomorrow; if anything else, it will give you strength to dive deep and weather the storm. And, in case there’s somebody’s hand to reach out to, grab it firmly and don’t let go.

Advertising

Being flexible against adversities takes a lot of learning, just as staying brave demands a lot of courage. It’s a long, arduous step-by-step routine, and you can reach the end only by swimming on. Persist, even when you fall.

5. Never Stop Searching for Inspiration

And, if it’s a guidance you need, where else to seek it than in experiences of others? Find it in art, in people around you, in chance encounters. The pure beauty of perseverance can be discovered where you expect it the least, so never stop searching for inspiration. If self-help literature soothes your pains and clears your mind, don’t let cynics discourage you. Your path toward reconciliation is nobody’s but yours to choose.

Ever heard of Nick Vujicic? Or Nando Parado? Inspiring people sound their yawps over the roofs of the world, sometimes voiceless, sometimes limbless, sometimes both. Born without arms, Jessica Cox became the most unusual certified pilot in the world, and you can rarely see her without a smile on her face. If you’ve already ripped all of your bucket lists and said goodbye to your dreams and plans, meet Sean Swarner, who’s officially became the first cancer survivor to climb Mount Everest. The stories just go on.

Make your own guidebook! Pen down your positive thoughts, cover your walls with quotes and devise your personal mantras. Whenever things get hard, they’ll be there to remind you of what you need to do. It’s the simplest of all life hacks, and one of the most effective ones.

Find beauty in the world, but never stay blind for its ugliness. However daunting, adversities and emotional pain challenge our inner strength, thus making us resilient and allowing us to grow. As soon as you recognize them as the wind in your sails instead of the devastating storm, the purpose will become simple and clear.

Featured photo credit: Unsplash via unsplash.com

Read Next