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Were You Born to be an Entrepreneur?

Were You Born to be an Entrepreneur?

Do you work a grueling 9 to 5 job that you hate, waking up every day thinking “this is not meant to be my life”? Do you dread going into work, hate your manager or your boss, hate working under anyone in general, and can’t wait to clock out and go home every day? Are you struggling to get by on your wages, and feel underpaid and under-appreciated? Do you long for freedom; freedom over your hours, your schedule, your vacations, and your income? Freedom over your life?

If you’re saying “YES!”, read on. If you have already started a business, sit tight. Do you feel like the black sheep in a flock of robots who are astoundingly content with working a dead-end job? Do you feel like you’re driving 100mph in the wrong direction the longer you keep working this painful j-o-b and aren’t taking your career into your own hands? Yes? Have you ever thought about running your own business? Have you ever tried?

Now answer these questions. Were you doing things as a child like selling your personal items to your family members and neighbors, creating a “store” in your room or on the street? Were you dreaming up business ideas and thinking about making money from a young age?

Are you a self-starter, and do have drive to accomplish things on your own without the need for structure and direction? When you want to achieve something and you are left to your own devices to do it, are you motivated, determined, and thrive in the total freedom? Do you have a fire in you that is hellbent on achieving success, living your dreams, and breaking the mould?

Congratulations. You were born to be an entrepreneur.

This is your destiny, your true calling, and how you’re going to manifest your goals and your dreams. By building, and successfully running, your own business.

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Imagine waking up every day excited; you love what you do, you have total freedom, you choose when you want to work, and decide whether you work 40 or 4 hours a week. You make more money than you have ever dreamed you could make, and your income is constantly increasing. You are your own boss, you call the shots, you run the joint. Powerful, right? If your mind was just running wild with excitement while reading this paragraph, it’s 100% official–you my friend, have landed on this page for a divine reason.

Whether you haven’t even come up with a business idea yet or whether you have already started a business (and maybe it’s not making enough money or you don’t love the industry you’re in), the answer that is written for you is the same. You were destined for entrepreneurship, and you are on the right path. And reading this article is propelling you forward down that path.

Now let’s play the devil’s advocate.

Say you don’t thrive when left to your own devices, you feel like you need structure and direction, and need someone to hold you accountable in order to get tasks done. You don’t enjoy a lot of challenge and would rather be comfortable, and stay safe from risk, failure and rejection.

You don’t think you would have enough determination, and energy, to run your own business, to pursue self-education where you need the knowledge, and to run with everything on your own, as a leader and not a follower. If any of this rings true for you, that’s okay! Not everyone is meant to be an entrepreneur, and many would not find success and wealth down this path.

In fact, 80% of businesses fail. One might say it was because they didn’t have enough funds, the right business plan, or the right resources. And that may very well have been true, but none of these things were the underlying cause. The cause, most of the time, is the person and their mindset. You not only need to be determined, persistent, diligent, resourceful and committed, but you need to have drive…passion.

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And, you need to be creative, a great thinker, and an even better doer. You need to want this so much you can feel it in the very fiber of your being. And once you figure out which type of person you are, and you go against what you’re meant to do, your life just feels wrong, like you’re on the wrong airplane holding someone else’s boarding pass.

Now that you know what you’re meant to do, how do you do it?

1. The first step is the idea.

If you’re just beginning your entrepreneurial journey today, your very first step is coming up with your business idea. All you need to do is pull out a pen and paper, and write down all the ideas you currently have. Next draw two columns; in one column list your passions, hobbies, and things you love doing. In the second column, write down a list of things you are good at, and the more excellent you are at it the better. Think of this list in terms of services or products you could sell.

This list may have your business idea staring right at you – if it doesn’t excite you however, we’ve got a problem. If you start with very little passion for your business, your motivation will die after you start having to put in the work. Compare these two columns and try to find any correlations.

Say you are excellent at cooking, and it happens to be one of your hobbies too. Perfect, the online cooking/baking industry is huge. Consider starting a food blog with a corresponding Youtube channel. Think up a unique angle, something original, and specific.

Next write down ways you could make money with this business. With a website or a blog/vlog, you can monetize it, and the more traffic and fans you gather the more you can charge for advertising space. Think services you could sell, like online cooking classes/courses, and products, like recipe books and ebooks, etc. Let your inner-entrepreneur run wild!

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To stand out, come up with a unique twist or angle on a product or service. Some great examples of this I found are hotel babysitting services for traveling parents, revolutionary health-conscious feminine care, and thinking big and outside the box like Airbnb and Uber did.

Still struggling on deciding what industry you want to be in and what you would find the most success doing? Take the Entrepreneur Quiz, and find out what type of entrepreneur you should be based on your personality, traits, hobbies and skills.

2. The second step is the hardest part.

You need to take action. Massive, determined action. And you need to do it NOW. Not later, now. Otherwise you will lose the motivation and the momentum you just started to get going, and it will fizzle out. You’ll tell yourself that you’ll just put it on the back burner for now and revisit it later, maybe when you’re making more money, or things are less crazy, and less busy…yeah, things are way too busy right now, it’s not a good time, too much going on.

Guess what – your mind is lying to you! These are 100% made-up excuses your mind is generating in order to keep you in your comfort zone, to avoid risk, and potential failure. Basically, your limiting beliefs and self-doubt are trying to swindle you out of achieving your goals and living your destiny. But if you don’t leap, you will never fly. And if you don’t do it now, you will never do it.

So, next you will need to write up your business plan. And it is crucial you build your sales funnel.

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3. Build your online presence.

You will need a business name, you need to get incorporated, build your website, set up your social accounts, etc. And SEO (search engine optimization), is absolutely mandatory for every online business in order to get found online, rank in Google, drive traffic to your site, build yourself an online presence, and increase your sales. This needs to be one of your top ongoing priorities in any online business.

I have 11 years of experience in SEO, and I want you to walk away from this article with some actionable tips, so I’ll share with you the most important on-page factor in your SEO – optimizing your title tags. This one task alone can have a massive impact on your Google rankings.

What are you waiting for?

Get out there and take action. Once you have got momentum, there is no stopping you. You were born for this. It has been written in the stars, it is your destiny – creating and building a life for yourself, run by YOU and only you. Doing what you love and sharing it with the world. Basking in personal and financial freedom and independence, and most importantly, walking the path you were meant to walk.

Featured photo credit: Olu Eletu via unsplash.com

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Chloe Spencer

Online Marketing Specialist, SEO Expert, Millennial Entrepreneur and Professional Writer and Speaker

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Published on April 7, 2021

6 Signs Of A Controlling Person To Be Aware Of

6 Signs Of A Controlling Person To Be Aware Of

Some of the most manipulative people are so good at what they do that their words and actions can convince you into thinking they truly care about what’s best for you when in reality, it’s quite the opposite. The most common signs of a controlling person are rarely obvious to outside observers. And for someone enmeshed in a controlling relationship or friendship, it can be incredibly challenging to stay away from this toxic person, even if you’re aware of their emotionally abusive tendencies.

While it’s ultimately up to you to decide whether to preserve or leave a lopsided, unfulfilling relationship, it’s nevertheless critical to understand the following six signs of controlling people so you can better advocate for yourself and mitigate the influence of their manipulative tendencies in your own life.

1. They Push Their Own Personal Agenda

Do you know someone who always tries to micromanage the words, behaviors, and attitudes of people around them? Does this person act like they have the right to know anything they want about you, including your location, what you’re doing in a given moment, who you’re talking to online, or any other private information about you? And when planning events and special occasions, does this person dominate conversations, steer plans in their own preferred directions, disparage others’ suggestions, and refuse to collaborate with anyone who might disagree with them?

If you answered “yes” to some of the above questions, then those are clear signs of a controlling person whom you absolutely need to be cautious around. Controlling people are reluctant to even consider alternative ideas, let alone enthusiastically work with people who have differing views. They prefer to be the captain of every ship—regardless of how much or how little an issue personally impacts them—and they have an arsenal of manipulative tactics to deploy if someone stands in the way of them achieving their own personal agendas.

In long-term relationships with controlling people, you may feel constantly pressured to meet their demands, follow their schedule, and focus on whatever they feel is most important. It’s not an exaggeration to say that these people act like the universe revolves around them, which can be exhausting to deal with for their family members, friends, and colleagues.

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2. They Make Everything Transactional

Controlling people aren’t always self-centered, but they’re not too empathetic either. Empathy for them tends to appear in the form of strategic concessions they use as a means to get what they want. They typically view interpersonal relationships as transactional opportunities to extract more value from people surrounding them, which can have a draining effect on those they interact with.

For example, one sign of a controlling person may be their insistence on “keeping score.” This can involve doing nice things for you with the ulterior motive of demanding something from you at a later date in exchange for what you thought was just an act of kindness or a friendly support.

Perhaps they shower you in praise (also known as “love-bombing”) or gifts then blow up at you if you don’t intuitively know they’re expecting something back from you. None of us are mind-readers, but controlling people behave as though everyone else should think and act like they want others to and those who fall out of line are punished for failing to meet their impossible expectations.

A controlling person may also threaten to withhold support if you don’t adhere to their demands, but they do so in such subtle ways that the guilt they impose blinds you from the unreasonable nature of their behaviors.

Some statements to be wary of include:

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  • “I did ___________ for you. What do you mean you can’t do ___________ for me?”
  • “Remember how I helped you with ___________? That took a lot of time and energy from me, but I guess you didn’t appreciate my help.”
  • “I always give you ___________. Don’t you care about my needs too?”
  • “You’re so selfish!” or “You don’t care about me at all!” (gaslighting if you respond with hesitation or politely decline their request for help for perfectly valid reasons, such as not having enough time or resources to assist them)

3. They Criticize Everything

One of the most common telltale signs of a controlling person is their capacity to criticize anything and everything, even small things that seemingly don’t matter. As with many toxic traits in relationships, these problems typically start out so small that you may not even notice. At first, you may even agree with their criticism or at least be able to understand their perspective when they bring up an issue.

However, the criticism tends to get more intense, more constant, and more perplexing for people who maintain relationships with controlling people. You’ll likely notice how they rarely seem to criticize something they do. It’s almost always other-oriented and these types of people are so manipulative that any rationale they offer can seem plausibly legitimate.

Some warning signs of a controlling person who’s overly critical to the point of abusiveness include:

  • Criticizing things about you that you have little to no control over (e.g., appearance, disability, family)
  • Criticizing your personal choices and interests, such as educational pursuits, career, clothing, favorite music, time spent on your hobbies, etc.
  • Punishing you for expressing vulnerability by invalidating thoughts and feelings you share with them
  • Attacking you whenever you express an opinion counter to theirs

4. They Balk When Someone Criticizes Them

We all know the adage, “what goes around, comes around.” But this statement doesn’t apply as much to toxic, controlling people. They’d much prefer to dish out criticism without ever having to take it in return.

For instance, if your friend constantly talks about your appearance with little regard for your emotions but flips out if you make just a single comment about their appearance, there’s a possibility that they could have some hidden controlling tendencies left unchecked. Remember, these people aren’t just controlling in their behaviors towards others. They’re also actively trying to stay in complete control over every aspect of their lives, which includes how others view them.

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This seemingly insatiable desire for control can prompt them to lash out against even the smallest bits of criticism, leaving people around them too weary or scared to speak up again in the future. While it’s possible they may suffer from something called rejection sensitivity dysphoria, this does not excuse them from the consequences of their words and actions. They should seek professional help to better manage their reactions to criticism.

5. They Socially Isolate You

Not all controlling people do this, but for manipulative narcissists, socially isolating victims is a go-to strategy for maintaining control because it’s effective at preventing people from truly understanding how toxic their partner, family member, or friend is treating them. Think of it this way—if you don’t talk to many other people in your life, there’s less of a risk that you’ll damage their reputation by revealing their abusive tendencies.

Socially isolating others also gives the person more control over you and your life as it becomes more difficult to break away from them if you don’t have other healthier channels of communication and interpersonal support to turn to.

This process doesn’t happen overnight, nor is it something you can readily recognize as abusive. At first, it may seem reasonable, such as asking you to stop engaging so often with family members with whom both of you disagree on major social or political issues. As the social isolation progresses, they may suggest cutting people out of your life—especially if they don’t like that person, regardless of how you personally feel—or even conjure up high-stakes problems like “it’s me or them” under the guise of saving you from people in your life whom they don’t like for whatever reason.

In a controlling person’s life narrative, they’re always the protagonist who’s incapable of any wrongdoing. The blame is always redirected at someone else, whether that’s you or other people in your life. The more they isolate you from other supportive people in your life, the more susceptible you’ll be to falsely believing that they’re right and you “don’t need” your other friends and family when you have someone as perfect as this person.

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6. They’re Emotionally Abusive

It’s hard enough to be in control of your own emotions but when someone else is constantly belittling you and your interests or leveraging guilt and shame to manipulate you into saying or doing what they want, this can make it even more challenging to stay in control of your own life and emotional well-being.

Emotional abuse is another sign of a controlling person that is often overlooked in relationships. After all, human personalities vary widely in terms of passivity, and it’s not uncommon for one person in a relationship to be significantly more passive than the other. This becomes an issue when the controlling partner or friend exudes signs of emotional abuse, which can start subtly and become much more pronounced over time.

Concerning signs of emotionally abusive language or behavior to watch out for include:

  • Dismissing your needs and/or belittling your interests in counterproductive ways
  • Privately or publicly shaming or humiliating you
  • Making you feel as though you can never live up to their expectations or do anything right (according to their own vague, subjective standards)
  • Gaslighting you into thinking they said or did something that never actually happened (making you question your own reality)

Final Thoughts

It’s sometimes hard to see the negative things about someone with whom we have a relationship. We may sometimes unconsciously overlook the signs of a controlling person, especially if that person is someone we have known for a long time or are close to us. However, cutting them off your life is the best thing you can do for yourself. Just watch out for these six signs of a controlling person and take immediate action when you spot them.

More Tips on How To Deal With a Controlling Person

Featured photo credit: Külli Kittus via unsplash.com

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