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Hindsight is 20/20: 5 Lessons From Your Life

Hindsight is 20/20: 5 Lessons From Your Life

It was an evening unlike any other; sitting at my laptop with a glass of wine and I found myself rereading old thesis papers from college. I started to skim one that involved the personality breakdown through the bio-psychosocial theory, with my analytical subject being my then husband. I was stunned at the findings I had comprised. I had completely picked apart his personality and revealed all the ticks that hindered our marriage. How I delightfully gazed over these words 2 years ago, baffles me. Within the paper, I had defended my bias to the relationship. I tried to convince the reader that it was not intended to be a personal reflection, but strictly clinical. After all this time, however, I realized I was unconsciously venting my frustrations; airing them within this paper and convincing myself that these features were in no way detrimental. Now months after our divorce, here I was staring at the red flags in the face. Our entire relationship was scripted in forms of behavioral impulses and environmental factors that I avoided for so long until I couldn’t any longer. Why did this not resonate within me in the moment? I feverishly texted one of my closest friends who bluntly stated to me, “Ya know, hindsight is 20/20 they say.”

This is when it all makes sense.

You hear idioms such as these constantly, but once it makes a mark with you on a personal level, that is when it all makes sense. The definition flooded me yet instead of becoming angered with my previous lack of insight, I had to step outside and assess what I had gathered from those moments. I needed to understand that my capacity for knowledge was so different than now. At that point in my life, I was stuck in a cycle of compressed unhappiness veiled with security. I guarded my feelings for the sake of others and for the purpose of upholding an image. As I sat at my desk that night, I understood that I needed to live that experience. I had to fight through the troubles to fully grasp who I was and what I needed from my relationships with others and myself. Society might not appreciate the idea of hindsight, yet deeply embedded within it is a lesson, which should transform into a ritual.

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Accept what has happened and learn from it.

Of course, we are all familiar with this idea, yet how many of us actually put this into practice? It’s not easy but it can come with time and a few helpful ideas. Ultimately, you cannot stress over your past decisions, but be humbled by them and reflect because there is absolutely nothing you can do about them now. At the same time, those who are on the outside of your choices cannot criticize. You did what you could at the time, with the knowledge and faith in the situation that you had to work with.

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Plain and simple. The deal is done.

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Take the following 5 steps into consideration next time you are faced with disapproval against your past:

  1. Take each interaction as a lesson; and a valuable one at that.
  2. Don’t regret situations, use them to build the future.
  3. Do not agonize over the “IF”. The situation has passed and there has been a resolution. Regardless of the ending, we lived it, we must accept it and move on. If it was a negative outcome, take it as you have grown from that – simply placed another stone on your strong foundation.
  4. Negatively harboring on your hindsight is too exhausting and mentally wearing. It will bruise your chances for a positive outlook on life to the point of depression. Hindsight is your reflection of the situation, embrace it and focus your perspective for the next time.
  5. And finally, always look back, but never in anger.

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    Jillian Skoczylas

    Clinical Liaison for Intensive Care Management at Beacon Health Options

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    Last Updated on October 17, 2018

    10 Ways To Step Out Of Your Comfort Zone And Overcome Your Fear

    10 Ways To Step Out Of Your Comfort Zone And Overcome Your Fear

    The ability to take risks by stepping outside your comfort zone is the primary way by which we grow. But we are often afraid to take that first step.

    In truth, comfort zones are not really about comfort, they are about fear. Break the chains of fear to get outside. Once you do, you will learn to enjoy the process of taking risks and growing in the process.

    Here are 10 ways to help you step out of your comfort zone and get closer to success:

    1. Become aware of what’s outside of your comfort zone

    What are the things that you believe are worth doing but are afraid of doing yourself because of the potential for disappointment or failure?

    Draw a circle and write those things down outside the circle. This process will not only allow you to clearly identify your discomforts, but your comforts. Write identified comforts inside the circle.

    2. Become clear about what you are aiming to overcome

    Take the list of discomforts and go deeper. Remember, the primary emotion you are trying to overcome is fear.

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    How does this fear apply uniquely to each situation? Be very specific.

    Are you afraid of walking up to people and introducing yourself in social situations? Why? Is it because you are insecure about the sound of your voice? Are you insecure about your looks?

    Or, are you afraid of being ignored?

    3. Get comfortable with discomfort

    One way to get outside of your comfort zone is to literally expand it. Make it a goal to avoid running away from discomfort.

    Let’s stay with the theme of meeting people in social settings. If you start feeling a little panicked when talking to someone you’ve just met, try to stay with it a little longer than you normally would before retreating to comfort. If you stay long enough and practice often enough, it will start to become less uncomfortable.

    4. See failure as a teacher

    Many of us are so afraid of failure that we would rather do nothing than take a shot at our dreams.

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    Begin to treat failure as a teacher. What did you learn from the experience? How can you take that lesson to your next adventure to increase your chance of success?

    Many highly successful people failed plenty of times before they succeeded. Here’re some examples:

    10 Famous Failures to Success Stories That Will Inspire You to Carry On

    5. Take baby steps

    Don’t try to jump outside your comfort zone, you will likely become overwhelmed and jump right back in.

    Take small steps toward the fear you are trying to overcome. If you want to do public speaking, start by taking every opportunity to speak to small groups of people. You can even practice with family and friends.

    Take a look at this article on how you can start taking baby steps:

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    The Number One Secret to Life Success: Baby Steps

    6. Hang out with risk takers

    There is no substitute for this step. If you want to become better at something, you must start hanging out with the people who are doing what you want to do and start emulating them. (Here’re 8 Reasons Why Risk Takers Are More Likely To Be Successful).

    Almost inevitably, their influence will start have an effect on your behavior.

    7. Be honest with yourself when you are trying to make excuses

    Don’t say “Oh, I just don’t have the time for this right now.” Instead, be honest and say “I am afraid to do this.”

    Don’t make excuses, just be honest. You will be in a better place to confront what is truly bothering you and increase your chance of moving forward.

    8. Identify how stepping out will benefit you

    What will the ability to engage in public speaking do for your personal and professional growth? Keep these potential benefits in mind as motivations to push through fear.

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    9. Don’t take yourself too seriously

    Learn to laugh at yourself when you make mistakes. Risk taking will inevitably involve failure and setbacks that will sometimes make you look foolish to others. Be happy to roll with the punches when others poke fun.

    If you aren’t convinced yet, check out these 6 Reasons Not to Take Life So Seriously.

    10. Focus on the fun

    Enjoy the process of stepping outside your safe boundaries. Enjoy the fun of discovering things about yourself that you may not have been aware of previously.

    Final thoughts

    It will probably seem really scary at first to get out of your comfort zone. But as I said, you don’t need to jump right out of your comfort zone at once, you can take baby steps gradually. As you slowly push past your comfort zone, you’ll feel more and more at ease about the new stuff which seems so dangerous to you.

    Take the first step and I’m sure you’ll make it!

    Featured photo credit: Unsplash via unsplash.com

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