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Sorry, Not Sorry: 5 Reasons Why You Should Not Regret Life Decisions (and How to Achieve it)

Sorry, Not Sorry: 5 Reasons Why You Should Not Regret Life Decisions (and How to Achieve it)

Do you often find yourself having regrets about things you did or didn’t do? Do you often wonder what could have happened if you had done something differently? Do you overthink every small choice you have to make in daily life, and then end up feeling bad about it?

Believe it or not, even the most successful people who’ve achieved a lot in life and the entrepreneurs who take decisions that might cost them millions of dollars experience that, too. It’s just that they’ve learned how to accept the insecurity of life, the need for fast decision-making, and the ability to make the most of what you got.

Truth is, you can never know whether one option is right until you give it a try. What matters, though, is to actually act upon it.

Some people spend a lot of time trying to make a choice, even ruining their sleep and peace of mind over it. In the end, however, they’ve brought so much pressure and stress in their life that they don’t want to deal with this anymore, and decide to do nothing.

Such people aren’t doers, and – as we know – success loves action-oriented individuals who are not scared to make a choice and do their best.

It’s important to not just take firm decisions regardless of the situation, but to feel good about your choice and confident in your abilities.

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Under no circumstances should you allow yourself to feel sorry about a choice you made, ever again. Here’s how to achieve that:

1. Experience comes with trials.

To get more experienced in the journey called life, you don’t need to just read about other people’s successes and failures, to have mentors, or to make plans and prepare. What you need is to do new things, try stuff, take risks and simply make things happen.

Experienced people grow spiritually too, they overcome their mental barriers with action and eventually become brave enough to reach any other goal they set in life.

2. Each choice gets you closer to success.

Even if you could have done something better, you now have powerful information. You know exactly what not to do next time. Avoiding mistakes in the future saves a lot of time and worries too.

3. There’s no wrong or right; it’s just a matter of perception.

What’s good for you might be awful for other people. We’re all different in our aspirations, experiences, and lifestyle choices.

This means that no one else can tell you what’s right for you. Let go of the need to listen to those around you.

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Trust your heart and do what feels right. At least you’ll end up on the path that’s created for you and won’t end up living by someone else’s standards.

When you start feeling bad about a life decision you made, look at it from another perspective.

What if it’s the best thing that could have happened to you at this exact stage of your life? What if you came to an important conclusion and can now set new, better goals for your future?

Strive to be open-minded. Find the positives. Learn from everything that went wrong. And realize that in the end of the day, it’s all about how you react to what happens.

4. Insecurity is part of life.

Having regrets about the choices you make in life means you expect things to turn out in a certain way, but life surprises you and you end up disappointed.

Or maybe you expect a lot from yourself or others around you, and then realize other people have limits, too.

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It might also be the doubts that go together with each decision, or that your desire for perfection causes you to fear doing something wrong.

Let go of all that. Declutter your mind and strive for simplicity. It’s unbelievable how true freedom feels like once you leave such negative thoughts and old mental patterns behind, and embrace the present.

We can never predict the future and preparing for it is pointless. Expectations don’t work, either. They just lead to disappointment and never being happy with your current life.

But every day is filled with opportunities, positive vibes and a chance to grow and get better. You just need to learn to go with the flow and make the most of what you’ve got.

Stop trying to take the best decision and focus on simply making a choice sooner and doing something about it.

As long as you’re going after what you want and not being passive, you’re on the right track.

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5. No decision is final.

Another comforting thought that will help you get over feeling bad about past decisions is that you can always do something to change the situation.

What’s happened in the past stays in the past, but right now there’s a lot you can work on to make sure your future isn’t affected by this choice.

So whatever bad decisions you make, no matter how they turn out, don’t focus on the past, but keep your eyes on the end goal. There are many roads you can take to get there, and you’ll change direction many times. As long as the final destination is one and you keep taking a step daily, be sure you’ll get there and will enjoy it once it happens.

Now that you know all this, life decisions shouldn’t scare you anymore.

Each day is a chance to turn over a new leaf, to start the best chapter of your life so far, to meet wonderful people that will help you on your journey.

Also, each decision makes you a stronger individual, better prepared for what life has in store, more courageous and adventurous. Don’t miss out on that.

At the end of the day, we only regret the chances we didn’t take.

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Last Updated on February 21, 2019

The Secret to Effective Conflict Resolution: The IBR Approach

The Secret to Effective Conflict Resolution: The IBR Approach

In business, in social relationships, in family… In whatever context conflict is always inevitable, especially when you are in the leader role. This role equals “make decisions for the best of majority” and the remaining are not amused. Conflicts arise.

Conflicts arise when we want to push for a better quality work but some members want to take a break from work.

Conflicts arise when we as citizens want more recreational facilities but the Government has to balance the needs to maintain tourism growth.

Conflicts are literally everywhere.

Avoiding Conflicts a No-No and Resolving Conflicts a Win-Win

Avoiding conflicts seem to be a viable option for us. The cruel fact is, it isn’t. Conflicts won’t walk away by themselves. They will, instead, escalate and haunt you back even more when we finally realize that’s no way we can let it be.

Moreover, avoiding conflicts will eventually intensify the misunderstanding among the involved parties. And the misunderstanding severely hinders open communication which later on the parties tend to keep things secret. This is obviously detrimental to teamwork.

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Some may view conflicts as the last step before arguments. And they thus leave it aside as if they never happen. This is not true.

Conflicts are the intersect point between different individuals with different opinions. And this does not necessarily lead to argument.

Instead, proper handling of conflicts can actually result in a win-win situation – both parties are pleased and allies are gained. A better understanding between each other and future conflicts are less likely to happen.

The IBR Approach to Resolve Conflicts

Here, we introduce to you an effective approach to resolve conflicts – the Interest-Based Relational (IBR) approach. The IBR approach was developed by Roger Fisher and William Ury in their 1981 book Getting to Yes. It stresses the importance of the separation between people and their emotions from the problem. Another focus of the approach is to build mutual understanding and respect as they strengthen bonds among parties and can ultimately help resolve conflicts in a harmonious way. The approach suggests a 6-step procedure for conflict resolution:

Step 1: Prioritize Good Relationships

How? Before addressing the problem or even starting the discussion, make it clear the conflict can result in a mutual trouble and through subsequent respectful negotiation the conflict can be resolved peacefully. And that brings the best outcome to the whole team by working together.

Why? It is easy to overlook own cause of the conflict and point the finger to the members with different opinions. With such a mindset, it is likely to blame rather than to listen to the others and fail to acknowledge the problem completely. Such a discussion manner will undermine the good relationships among the members and aggravate the problem.

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Example: Before discussion, stress that the problem is never one’s complete fault. Everyone is responsible for it. Then, it is important to point out our own involvement in the problem and state clearly we are here to listen to everyone’s opinions rather than accusing others.

Step 2: People Are NOT the Cause of Problem

How? State clearly the problem is never one-sided. Collaborative effort is needed. More importantly, note the problem should not be taken personally. We are not making accusations on persons but addressing the problem itself.

Why? Once things taken personally, everything will go out of control. People will become irrational and neglect others’ opinions. We are then unable to address the problem properly because we cannot grasp a fuller and clearer picture of the problem due to presumption.

Example: In spite of the confronting opinions, we have to emphasize that the problem is not a result of the persons but probably the different perspectives to view it. So, if we try to look at the problem from the other’s perspective, we may understand why there are varied opinions.

Step 3: Listen From ALL Stances

How? Do NOT blame others. It is of utmost importance. Ask for everyone’s opinions. It is important to let everyone feel that they contribute to the discussion. Tell them their involvement is essential to solve the problem and their effort is very much appreciated.

Why? None wants to be ignored. If one feels neglected, it is very likely for he/she to be aggressive. It is definitely not what we hope to see in a discussion. Acknowledging and being acknowledged are equally important. So, make sure everyone has equal opportunity to express their views. Also, realizing their opinions are not neglected, they will be more receptive to other opinions.

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Example: A little trick can played here: Invite others to talk first. It is an easy way to let others feel involved and ,more importantly, know their voices are heard. Also, we can show that we are actively listening to them by giving direct eye-contact and nodding. One important to note is that never interrupt anyone. Always let them finish first beforeanother one begins.

Step 4: Listen Comes First, Talk Follows

How? Ensure everyone has listened to one another points of view. It can be done by taking turn to speak and leaving the discussion part at last. State once again the problem is nothing personal and no accusation should be made.

Why? By turn-taking, everyone can finish talking and voices of all sides can be heard indiscriminantly. This can promote willingness to listen to opposing opinions.

Example: We can prepare pieces of paper with different numbers written on them. Then, ask different members to pick one and talk according to the sequence of the number. After everyone’s finished, advise everyone to use “I” more than “You” in the discussion period to avoid others thinking that it is an accusation.

Step 5: Understand the Facts, Then Address the Problem

How? List out ALL the facts first. Ask everyone to tell what they know about the problems.

Why? Sometimes your facts are unknown to the others while they may know something we don’t. Missing out on these facts could possibly lead to inaccurate capture of the problem. Also, different known facts can lead to different perception of the matter. It also helps everyone better understand the problem and can eventually help reach a solution.

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Example: While everyone is expressing their own views, ask them to write down everything they know that is true to the problem. As soon as everyone has finished, all facts can be noted and everyone’s understanding of the problem is raised.

Step 6: Solve the Problem Together

How? Knowing what everyone’s thinking, it is now time to resolve the conflict. Up to this point, everyone should have understood the problem better. So, it is everyone’s time to suggest some solutions. It is important not to have one giving all the solutions.

Why? Having everyone suggesting their solutions is important as they will not feel excluded and their opinions are considered. Besides, it may also generate more solutions that can better resolve the conflicts. Everyone will more likely be satisfied with the result.

Example: After discussion, ask all members to suggest any possible solutions and stress that all solutions are welcomed. State clearly that we are looking for the best outcomes for everyone’s sake rather than battling to win over one another. Then, evaluate all the solutions and pick the one that is in favor of everyone.

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