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Sorry, Not Sorry: 5 Reasons Why You Should Not Regret Life Decisions (and How to Achieve it)

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Sorry, Not Sorry: 5 Reasons Why You Should Not Regret Life Decisions (and How to Achieve it)

Do you often find yourself having regrets about things you did or didn’t do? Do you often wonder what could have happened if you had done something differently? Do you overthink every small choice you have to make in daily life, and then end up feeling bad about it?

Believe it or not, even the most successful people who’ve achieved a lot in life and the entrepreneurs who take decisions that might cost them millions of dollars experience that, too. It’s just that they’ve learned how to accept the insecurity of life, the need for fast decision-making, and the ability to make the most of what you got.

Truth is, you can never know whether one option is right until you give it a try. What matters, though, is to actually act upon it.

Some people spend a lot of time trying to make a choice, even ruining their sleep and peace of mind over it. In the end, however, they’ve brought so much pressure and stress in their life that they don’t want to deal with this anymore, and decide to do nothing.

Such people aren’t doers, and – as we know – success loves action-oriented individuals who are not scared to make a choice and do their best.

It’s important to not just take firm decisions regardless of the situation, but to feel good about your choice and confident in your abilities.

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Under no circumstances should you allow yourself to feel sorry about a choice you made, ever again. Here’s how to achieve that:

1. Experience comes with trials.

To get more experienced in the journey called life, you don’t need to just read about other people’s successes and failures, to have mentors, or to make plans and prepare. What you need is to do new things, try stuff, take risks and simply make things happen.

Experienced people grow spiritually too, they overcome their mental barriers with action and eventually become brave enough to reach any other goal they set in life.

2. Each choice gets you closer to success.

Even if you could have done something better, you now have powerful information. You know exactly what not to do next time. Avoiding mistakes in the future saves a lot of time and worries too.

3. There’s no wrong or right; it’s just a matter of perception.

What’s good for you might be awful for other people. We’re all different in our aspirations, experiences, and lifestyle choices.

This means that no one else can tell you what’s right for you. Let go of the need to listen to those around you.

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Trust your heart and do what feels right. At least you’ll end up on the path that’s created for you and won’t end up living by someone else’s standards.

When you start feeling bad about a life decision you made, look at it from another perspective.

What if it’s the best thing that could have happened to you at this exact stage of your life? What if you came to an important conclusion and can now set new, better goals for your future?

Strive to be open-minded. Find the positives. Learn from everything that went wrong. And realize that in the end of the day, it’s all about how you react to what happens.

4. Insecurity is part of life.

Having regrets about the choices you make in life means you expect things to turn out in a certain way, but life surprises you and you end up disappointed.

Or maybe you expect a lot from yourself or others around you, and then realize other people have limits, too.

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It might also be the doubts that go together with each decision, or that your desire for perfection causes you to fear doing something wrong.

Let go of all that. Declutter your mind and strive for simplicity. It’s unbelievable how true freedom feels like once you leave such negative thoughts and old mental patterns behind, and embrace the present.

We can never predict the future and preparing for it is pointless. Expectations don’t work, either. They just lead to disappointment and never being happy with your current life.

But every day is filled with opportunities, positive vibes and a chance to grow and get better. You just need to learn to go with the flow and make the most of what you’ve got.

Stop trying to take the best decision and focus on simply making a choice sooner and doing something about it.

As long as you’re going after what you want and not being passive, you’re on the right track.

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5. No decision is final.

Another comforting thought that will help you get over feeling bad about past decisions is that you can always do something to change the situation.

What’s happened in the past stays in the past, but right now there’s a lot you can work on to make sure your future isn’t affected by this choice.

So whatever bad decisions you make, no matter how they turn out, don’t focus on the past, but keep your eyes on the end goal. There are many roads you can take to get there, and you’ll change direction many times. As long as the final destination is one and you keep taking a step daily, be sure you’ll get there and will enjoy it once it happens.

Now that you know all this, life decisions shouldn’t scare you anymore.

Each day is a chance to turn over a new leaf, to start the best chapter of your life so far, to meet wonderful people that will help you on your journey.

Also, each decision makes you a stronger individual, better prepared for what life has in store, more courageous and adventurous. Don’t miss out on that.

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At the end of the day, we only regret the chances we didn’t take.

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Last Updated on November 18, 2021

10 Proven Ways to Judge a Person’s Character

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10 Proven Ways to Judge a Person’s Character

We all fall into the trap of judging a person’s character by their appearance. How wrong we are! All too often, the real character of the person only appears when some negative event hits them or you. Then you may see a toxic person emerging from the ruins and it is often a shock.

A truly frightening example is revealed in the book by O’Toole in Bowman called Dangerous Instincts: How Gut Instincts Betray Us. A perfectly respectable, charming, well dressed neighbor was found to have installed a torture chamber in his garage where he was systematically abusing kidnapped women. This is an extreme example, but it does show how we can be totally deceived by a person’s physical appearance, manners and behavior.

So, what can you do? You want to be able to assess personal qualities when you come into contact with colleagues, fresh acquaintances and new friends who might even become lifelong partners. You want to know if they are:

  • honest
  • reliable
  • competent
  • kind and compassionate
  • capable of taking the blame
  • able to persevere
  • modest and humble
  • pacific and can control anger.

The secret is to reserve judgment and take your time. Observe them in certain situations; look at how they react. Listen to them talking, joking, laughing, explaining, complaining, blaming, praising, ranting, and preaching. Only then will you be able to judge their character. This is not foolproof, but if you follow the 10 ways below, you have a pretty good chance of not ending up in an abusive relationship.

1. Is anger a frequent occurrence?

All too often, angry reactions which may seem to be excessive are a sign that there are underlying issues. Do not think that every person who just snaps and throws his/her weight around mentally and physically is just reacting normally. Everyone has an occasional angry outburst when driving or when things go pear-shaped.

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But if this is almost a daily occurrence, then you need to discover why and maybe avoid that person. Too often, anger will escalate to violent and aggressive behavior. You do not want to be near someone who thinks violence can solve personal or global problems.

2. Can you witness acts of kindness?

How often do you see this person being kind and considerate? Do they give money to beggars, donate to charity, do voluntary work or in some simple way show that they are willing to share the planet with about 7 billion other people?

I was shocked when a guest of mine never showed any kindness to the weak and disadvantaged people in our town. She was ostensibly a religious person, but I began to doubt the sincerity of her beliefs.

“The best index to a person’s character is how he treats people who can’t do him any good, and how he treats people who can’t fight back.”

Abigail Van Buren

3. How does this person take the blame?

Maybe you know that s/he is responsible for a screw-up in the office or even in not turning up on time for a date. Look at their reaction. If they start blaming other colleagues or the traffic, well, this is an indication that they are not willing to take responsibility for their mistakes.

4. Don’t use Facebook as an indicator.

You will be relieved to know that graphology (the study of that forgotten skill of handwriting) is no longer considered a reliable test of a person’s character. Neither is Facebook stalking, fortunately. A study showed that Facebook use of foul language, sexual innuendo and gossip were not reliable indicators of a candidate’s character or future performance in the workplace.

5. Read their emails.

Now a much better idea is to read the person’s emails. Studies show that the use of the following can indicate certain personality traits:

  • Too many exclamation points may reveal a sunny disposition
  • Frequent errors may indicate apathy
  • Use of smileys is the only way a person can smile at you
  • Use of the third person may reveal a certain formality
  • Too many question marks can show anger
  • Overuse of capital letters is regarded as shouting. They are a definite no-no in netiquette, yet a surprising number of  people still use them.

6. Watch out for the show offs.

Listen to people as they talk. How often do they mention their achievements, promotions, awards and successes? If this happens a lot, it is a sure indication that this person has an over-inflated view of his/her achievements. They are unlikely to be modest or show humility. What a pity!  Another person to avoid.

7. Look for evidence of perseverance.

A powerful indicator of grit and tenacity is when a person persists and never gives up when they really want to achieve a life goal. Look for evidence of them keeping going in spite of enormous difficulties.

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Great achievements by scientists and inventors all bear the hallmark of perseverance. We only have to think of Einstein, Edison (who failed thousands of times) and Nelson Mandela to get inspiration. The US Department of Education is in no doubt about how grit, tenacity and perseverance will be key success factors for youth in the 21st century.

8. Their empathy score is high.

Listen to how they talk about the less fortunate members of our society such as the poor, immigrants and the disabled. Do you notice that they talk in a compassionate way about these people? The fact that they even mention them is a strong indicator of empathy.

People with zero empathy will never talk about the disadvantaged. They will rarely ask you a question about a difficult time or relationship. They will usually steer the conversation back to themselves. These people have zero empathy and in extreme cases, they are psychopaths who never show any feelings towards their victims.

9. Learn how to be socially interactive.

We are social animals and this is what makes us so uniquely human. If a person is isolated or a loner, this may be a negative indicator of their character. You want to meet a person who knows about trust, honesty and loyalty. The only way to practice these great qualities is to actually interact socially. The great advantage is that you can share problems and celebrate success and joy together.

“One can acquire everything in solitude, except character.”

Stendhal

 10. Avoid toxic people.

These people are trying to control others and often are failing to come to terms with their own failures. Typical behavior and conversations may concern:

  • Envy or jealousy
  • Criticism of partners, colleagues and friends
  • Complaining about their own lack of success
  • Blaming others for their own bad luck or failure
  • Obsession with themselves and their problems

Listen to these people talk and you will quickly discover that you need to avoid them at all costs because their negativity will drag you down. In addition, as much as you would like to help them, you are not qualified to do so.

Now, having looked at some of the best ways to judge a person, what about yourself? How do others see you? Why not take Dr. Phil’s quiz and find out. Can you bear it?

Featured photo credit: Jacek Dylag via unsplash.com

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