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Ten Powerful Psychological Hacks to become More Social

Ten Powerful Psychological Hacks to become More Social

Who is a sociable person? Do you like sociable people? More importantly, are you a sociable person? A sociable person is one who is willing to and enjoys talking and participating in activities with other people. A sociable person is friendly and need not necessarily be much of a talker but people feel comfortable around him/her and get along with him/her quite easily.

For some people being sociable comes naturally. In fact, many have to work to contain how sociable they are as times get increasingly dangerous. For others being sociable requires some effort and may even be difficult. Some people feel sick just thinking of certain social situations. If you are one of those people, consider these cool psychological hacks to becoming more social.

1. Be yourself.
You may ask who else you could be, but oftentimes in a bid to appear sociable we adopt certain airs or behaviors that are not natural to us. We put up a façade to appear more sociable. You should never feel that you have to do this. Be genuine. Don’t pretend to be someone you’re not because you think it will make others like you more. Don’t say what you think the other person wants to hear.

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2. Remember you’re not invisible but that doesn’t mean they’re talking about you.
In a harsh bit of irony, those people who are insecure and feel they are invisible also have a tendency to think they are always under scrutiny, or being criticized or laughed at. There are two faults with that kind of thinking.

(1) You are not invisible. (2) People have a life. It is quite nonsensical to hang onto the belief that strangers are always watching you, waiting for you to mess up. The truth is that people are often so involved with getting the best out of their own lives that they rarely notice you doing or saying something that you think is embarrassing. Even if they happen to notice, they will most likely forget the incident within a few hours, while you may never get over it. Finding a way to get around feeling that people are always watching and judging you will allow you to loosen up a bit. You will learn to relax while in the company of others and ultimately you will become more sociable.

3. Focus on what’s good about you.
If necessary, make a list of the positive qualities that you possess, the things you like about yourself, the things others will like about you, and your accomplishments. This will help you to see yourself in a positive light and can also help to root out any selfishness that is holding you back.

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4. Pay attention to your insecurities.
All of us have a few things that we don’t like about ourselves or that we are not sure or confident about and that make us feel inadequate. What do you tell yourself? Do you tell yourself you’re not good enough? Do you tell yourself that they will never accept you, that you’re weird, unattractive, or even ugly? Do these thoughts get in the way of having a good time and enjoying the company of others? You need to identify these things and address them. Sometimes the things we’re not sure about are truly things we need to work on, so work on them. Work to be more trustworthy or responsible and tell yourself that you are worthy of the other person’s friendship. Most times, your flaws aren’t the first things people notice when they see you.

5. Don’t compare yourself with others.
This may be hard, especially when you really want to be sociable. You may put out the effort yet it doesn’t turn out quite right, but you see your friend as a social butterfly. Remember that your strengths are another person’s weaknesses and by now you should know your strengths (having made your list at point #3). Remember that you shouldn’t compare a person’s strengths with your weaknesses. Everybody has things that they are not confident about or are not proud of. Happiness most times is not determined by your situation but rather your outlook– your attitude. When you have all that down pat, remember to work on other aspects of your life to make yourself more interesting so that others will reach out to you and you don’t have to do the reaching out, especially if that is not your strong point.

6. Let your body language be welcoming.
– Smile.
– Put away your phone. If you are constantly on your phone people may assume that you have something more important to do or that you are not in the mood to talk.
– Avoid frowning, crossing your arms, or sitting/standing in a corner.
– Make eye contact.
– Greet people. Try to be warm and look happy and ready to talk; others will more likely come over.

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7. Get over fear of rejection.
You won’t be everyone’s favorite but that shouldn’t stop you from getting around. One person who doesn’t want to hang around you is hardly the end of the world. Think about the nine other amazing people you miss out on meeting because you let that one horrid person (who you haven’t even met as yet) stop you from meeting them. Recognize that you won’t be everybody’s friend but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t have any friends.

8. Sign up for a club.
To make new friends and feel comfortable doing so, it makes sense to look for people with whom you have something in common- who like the thing you love the most just as much as you do. If you are good at sports or have a special interest in a thing or activity, sign up for a club that focuses on it and meet like-minded individuals. It won’t be as hard to strike up a conversation with someone with similar interests.

9. Get over yourself. Be interested in others.
After you have gotten over your insecurities and you are comfortable in your skin, resist the urge to talk about yourself or something related to you all the time. Ask people about themselves and listen attentively. Try to be really interested in what they are saying. Respond throughout the conversation as well so they don’t think you are uninterested and stay off your phone! Accept invitations to go out, sleep over, or do something fun. Don’t cancel. Remember that being sociable takes effort.

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10. Make your social life a priority.
Last but by no means least, you need to do this if being sociable doesn’t come naturally for you. No matter what you have going on you need some down time- some me time which you share with friends. Remember that socializing helps you face problems better and you may even pick up a few solutions in idle chatter.

Being sociable doesn’t take much. Tell us what you do to make yourself more sociable. Try these tips and watch your social life blossom.

More by this author

Felipe Tognarelli

Entrepreneur, Wellness and Life Coach, Two Times Cancer Survivor and Best Seller Author.

Ten Powerful Psychological Hacks to become More Social Small Things That Will Tell You About A Person’s Personality

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Last Updated on January 21, 2020

5 Proven Memorization Techniques to Make the Most of Your Memory

5 Proven Memorization Techniques to Make the Most of Your Memory

Do you forget stuff every now and then? Are you trying to enhance your memory but not sure how?

All you need is the right memorization techniques to make the most of your memory.

The human brain is fascinating. More specifically, the vast interconnections within our mind. Mendel Kaelen compares the human brain to a hill covered in snow,

“Think of the brain as a hill covered in snow, and thoughts as sleds gliding down that hill. As one sled after another goes down the hill a small number of main trails will appear in the snow. And every time a new sled goes down, it will be drawn into preexisting trails, almost like a magnet. In time it becomes more and more difficulty to glide down the hill on any other path or in a different direction.”

The intent of Kaelen’s discussion is to think of new ways to temporarily flatten the snow. Kaelen remarked,

“The deeply worn trails disappear, and suddenly the sled can go in other directions, exploring new landscapes and, literally, creating new pathways.”

The idea here is to temporarily rewire your brain, or as Michael Pollan remarked in How to Change Your Mind,

“The power to shake the snow globe, disrupting unhealthy patterns of thought and creating a space of flexibility-entropy-in which more salubrious patterns and narratives have an opportunity to coalesce as the snow slowly settles.”

So, how can we rewire our brain allowing deeply worn connections to disappear and new connections to form? The answer is quite simple. We must change the way we store information in our mind.

    Let’s examine 5 specific memorization techniques that will change the way you think and remember information.

    1. Build a Memory Palace

      What is it?

      The method of loci[1] (aka memory palace) is a method of memory enhancement using visualizations with the use of spatial memory. It uses familiar information about your environment to quickly recall information. It is a method that was discussed by Cicero in an ancient dialogue called De Oratore.

      How to use it?

      Ron White discusses in How to Memorize Fast and Easily: Build a Memory Palace, that it’s essentially a room or building that you have memorized and you use locations in the room to store data. Ron informs us,

      “You memorize locations in a room and then you later go back to those locations to retrieve the data that you want to remember.”

      Example

      An easy 5-step example, in the form of a Wiki, can be found at Artofmemory.com. Let’s examine the the steps:

      • Step 1. Choose a place that you know well. For example, your house or office.
      • Step 2. Plan the route and pick specific locations in your route. For example, your front door, bathroom kitchen, etc.
      • Step 3. Decide what you want to memorize. For example, geography, list of items, answers for a test, etc.
      • Step 4. Place one or two items, with a mental image, and place them in your memory palace. Exaggerate your images. For example, use nudity or crazy images forcing it to stick in your mind.
      • Step 5. Make the image into a mnemonic.

      You can learn more about this technique here: How to Build a Memory Palace to Remember More of Everything

      2. Mnemonic

        What is it?

        A mnemonic is a memory device that aids in retention and/or retrieval of information. Mnemonic systems are techniques consciously used to improve memory by helping us use information already stored in long-term memory to make memorization easier.[2]

        How to use it?

        Mnemonics make use of retrieval cues to encode information in our brain allowing for efficient storage and retrieval of the information. The trick is to learn how to easily create mnemonics. If you find that you struggle with creating your own, try the following website: Mnemonic Generator.

        Example

        I recently came across a video using mnemonics to memorize countries. Memorizing Countries using Mnemonics is a video created as an introduction to a class for using memory techniques to learn the names of countries on maps.

        I actively search for videos that provide enormous educational value, yet receive very little exposure. At the time of this writing, this video has received less than 4k views. Let’s examine the video.

        Goal: Create a mnemonic to memorize the countries in the Caribbean (just the countries you need to learn).

        Step 1. Looking at a map – write out each country (for which five were chosen).

        Cuba, Jamaica, Haiti, Dominican Republic, Puerto Rico.

        Step 2. Write the first letter of each country vertically.

        C

        J

        H

        D

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        P

        Step 3. Create a sentence or phrase.

        Cubs

        Just

        Hate

        Doing

        Push-ups

        Cubs just hate doing push-ups. (Cuba Jamaica Haiti Dominican Republic Puerto Rico)

        3. Mnemonic Peg System

          What is it?

          According to Artofmemory.com, a mnemonic peg system is a technique for memorizing lists and it works by memorizing a list of words that are easy to associate with the numbers they represent.[3] These objects are the pegs of the system.

          How to use it?

          The trick is to create a Number Rhyme System with each number having a rhyming mnemonic keyword.

          Example

          Let’s look at an example of a Number Rhyme System:[4]

          0 = hero

          1 = gun

          2 = shoe

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          3 = tree

          4 = door

          5 = hive

          6 = sticks

          7 = heaven

          8 = gate

          9 = line

          Another technique like the Peg system is the Number Shape System.[5] Here you are assigning mnemonic images based on the shape of the number. Watch the following video for an example of this system: Number Shape System for Memorizing Numbers.

          4. Chunking

            What is it?

            Chunking is a way to remember large bits of information by chunking them into smaller pieces of information. We are more likely to then remember the information when we put the small pieces back together to see the entire picture.

            How to use it?

            In the video Chunking – A Learning Technique, we can see that there are several ways to chunk information.

            Example

            Let’s examine a simple example using a nine-digit number.

            Step 1. What is the number you are trying to remember?

            081127882

            Step 2. Cut the number into smaller pieces through chunking.

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            081 – 127 – 882

            Let’s look at one more example from the same video.

            “Piano teachers will first demonstrate an entire song to students. They will then ask their students to practice one measure at a time. Once the part has been learned and the neural connections in the brain have been built, then students go on to the next measure. After all chunks have been played separately, they are combined until the entire piece is connected.”

            5. Transfer of Learning

              What is it?

              Transfer of learning is a way to learn something in one area and apply it in another. Authors of Thinking at Every Desk, Derek and Laura Cabrera inform us about the transfer of learning,

              “If a student has a high transfer skills, she can learn one thing and then teach herself 10, 50, or 100 additional things.”

              How to use it?

              There are two specific ways to use it:

              1. Vertical Transfer (aka Far Transfer). Think of learning something in grade school and applying it another grade or later in life.
              2. Horizontal Transfer (aka Near Transfer). Think of learning a concept in history and applying it in math.

              Example

              I provide a detailed step-by-step example for this technique in this article:

              Learn How to Learn: How to Understand and Connect Difficult Ideas Easily

              The Bottom Line

              The key to using the techniques discussed here is to remember that we must actively think about information.

              We cannot simply drill information into our brain through rote memorization. We must change the way we think about memorization. We must find a way to “shake the snow-globe” in our mind or flatten the snow so that we can create new learning paths.

              Or as Derek and Laura Cabrera point out, we must insert “Thinking” into the equation,

              “Information X Thinking = Knowledge”

              More About Enhancing Memories

              Featured photo credit: Nong Vang via unsplash.com

              Reference

              [1] Remember Everything: Memory Palaces and the Method of Loci
              [2] The Learning Center Exchange: 9 Types of Mnemonics for Better Memory
              [3] Art of Memory: Mnemonic Peg System
              [4] Art of Memory: Number Rhyme System
              [5] Art of Memory: Number Shape System

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