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Ten Things you can do Right now to Stay Safe in the City

Ten Things you can do Right now to Stay Safe in the City

Your safety isn’t a thing to take lightly. I understand that it’s difficult to know how to be cautious when you have never had any experience with criminals, but you should do your best to keep it that way. Big cities are dangerous and the fact that you may have never witnessed or felt what it’s like to be robbed or hurt doesn’t mean that you never will. Therefore, you should do everything in your power to protect yourself so that if something bad happens, you won’t have to beat yourself up because you haven’t done anything to prevent it. Good precautions significantly lower the chance of you becoming a crime victim. Here’s what you need to do.

1. Take responsibility.

In order to introduce a new protocol into your life, you should first change your mindset. You are responsible for your safety and it’s time to take matters into your own hands. It’s necessary for you to understand that bad things happen randomly and that you might be a target without being aware of it.

2. Be aware.

Speaking of awareness, I know it’s easy to get lost in your thoughts while walking to work or taking a train ride for example, but that’s exactly the opportunity criminals are looking for. You should work on being in the present moment a bit more. However, you shouldn’t allow yourself to go to the extreme and become paranoid and scared. Moderation is the answer here.

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3. Change your routines.

Considering the fact that premeditated crimes require planning, you might be involved in someone’s plotting without realizing it. Once again, I’m not trying to make you paranoid, but that’s just the way criminals work. For example, for a robbery to be successful a criminal will make a replication of your schedule by establishing your habits. That is why you shouldn’t stick to the same routine or route, so make sure to change things. Walk down different streets and try not to be predictable.

4. Secure your home.

This is one routine you should establish and stick to, even when you’re late or in a hurry to get out of your home. A basic checkup will do here. Make sure that all windows are locked, be positive that you locked your doors, and take good care of your keys.

Building a good relationship with your neighbors should be a priority and not just because you can hang out with them every now and then. If something unexpected happens while you’re not around, your neighbors will react more quickly and with more attentiveness if you’re on good terms.

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5. Stop carrying cash.

You should do your best to make it very difficult for criminals to rob you. Face it, walking down an empty street makes you an easy target and if you actually get assaulted, not much damage will be done if you have just a couple of bucks in your wallet. If the assaulter steals your credit cards you can simply call your bank and cancel them.

6. Late night walks are a no-no.

I’d like to emphasize how imperative it is not to do this. I know it seems to be a cheap alternative to taking a cab, but it actually isn’t. Taking a cab will definitely cost less than a robbery and no one will hurt you physically along the way. Therefore, paying for a ride is actually investing in your safety.

7. Sign up for a defense class.

Besides being a very healthy form of exercise, a defense class will help you understand what it’s like to be attacked which will lessen confusion in case it does happen. Confusion is often the reason that crime victims are incapable of reacting. You should also get familiar with legal self-defense products you can have with you to use in case you get assaulted.

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8. Start parking safely.

It doesn’t really matter whether you use a bike or a car for transport. Either way you should pay special attention to where you leave your possessions. I know that this can skip your mind, especially if you’re in a hurry, but it’s better to be safe than sorry which is why you should park only in secure spots in the city.

9. You shouldn’t overshare.

The newest wave of crime happens because of the lack of precautions people take on social platforms. A majority of users are quite reckless when it comes to sharing their personal information, leaving important data like a home address for everyone to see. Do you overshare? Obviously this piece of information combined with you checking into places you visit is a recipe for a home robbery. Simply rethink future posts on social networks and check personal information boxes in order to remove everything that makes you an easy target.

10. Don’t push your luck.

The unfortunate truth is that even the most cautious people in the world sometimes become crime victims. By not even trying to protect yourself and your possessions, you’re almost asking for it. You work hard for what you have and you should introduce changes in your life to protect yourself and your property. It’s not necessary for you to start wearing a suit of armor in order to be safe. You just need to adapt your way of thinking to the fact that crimes happen and take precautions to lessen the chance of becoming a crime victim.

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Featured photo credit: Pexels via pexels.com

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Ryan Kh

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Last Updated on July 10, 2020

How to Take Control of Your Life with Better Boundaries

How to Take Control of Your Life with Better Boundaries

We all have them—those hurtful, frustrating, offensive, manipulative people in our lives. No matter how hard we try to surround ourselves with positive and kind people, there will always be those who will disrespect, insult, berate, and misuse you if we allow them to.

We may, for a variety of reasons, not be able to avoid them, but we can determine how we interact with them and how we allow them to interact with us.

So, how to take control of your life and stop being pushed around?

Learning to set clear firm boundaries with the people in our lives at work and in our personal lives is the best way to protect ourselves from the negative effects of this kind of behavior.

What Boundaries Are (And What They’re Not)

Boundaries are limits

—they are not threats or ultimatums. Boundaries inform or teach. They are not a form of punishment.

Boundaries are firm lines—determined by you—which cannot be crossed by those around you. They are guidelines for how you will allow others to treat you and what kind of behaviors you will expect.

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Healthy personal boundaries help protect you from physical or emotional pain. You may also need to set firm boundaries at work to ensure you and your time are not disrespected. Don’t allow others to take advantage of your kindness and generosity.

Clear boundaries communicate to others that you demand respect and consideration—that you are willing to stand up for yourself and that you will not be a doormat for anyone. They are a “no trespassing” sign that makes it very clear when a line has been crossed and that there will be consequences for doing so.

Boundaries are not set with the intention of changing other people. They may change how people interact with you, but they are more about enforcing your needs than attempting to change the general behavior and attitude of others.

How to Establish Boundaries and Take Control of Your Life

Here are some ways that you can establish boundaries and take control of your life.

1. Self-Awareness Comes First

Before you can establish boundaries with others, you first need to understand what your needs are.

You are entitled to respect. You have the right to protect yourself from inappropriate or offensive behavior. Setting boundaries is a way of honoring your needs.

To set appropriate boundaries, you need to be clear about what healthy behaviors look like—what healthy relationships look like.

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You first have to become more aware of your feelings and honest with yourself about your expectations and what you feel is appropriate behavior:

  • Where do you need to establish better boundaries?
  • When do you feel disrespected?
  • When do you feel violated, frustrated, or angered by the behavior of others?
  • In what situations do you feel you are being mistreated or taken advantage of?
  • When do you want to be alone?
  • How much space do you need?

You need to honor your own needs and boundaries before you can expect others to honor them. This allows you to take control of your life.

2. Clear Communication Is Essential

Inform others clearly and directly what your expectations are. It is essential to have clear communication if you want others to respect your boundaries. Explain in an honest and respectful tone what you find offensive or unacceptable.

Many people simply aren’t aware that they are behaving inappropriately. They may never have been taught proper manners or consideration for others.

3. Be Specific but Don’t Blame

Taking a blaming or punishing attitude automatically puts people on the defensive. People will not listen when they feel attacked. It’s part of human nature.

That said, you do not need to overexplain or defend yourself. Boundaries are not open to compromise.

Sample language:

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  • “You may not…yell or raise your voice to me…”
  • “I need…to be treated with respect…”
  • “It’s not okay when…you take things from my desk without asking…”
  • “I won’t…do your work…cover for you anymore…”
  • “It’s not acceptable when…you ridicule or insult me…”
  • “I am uncomfortable when…you use offensive language”
  • “I will no longer be able to…lend you money…”

Being able to communicate these without sounding accusatory is essential if you want others to respect your boundaries so you can take control of your life.

4. Consequences Are Often Necessary

Determine what the appropriate consequences will be when boundaries are crossed. If it’s appropriate, be clear about those consequences upfront when communicating those boundaries to others.

Follow through. People won’t respect your boundaries if you don’t enforce them.

Standing our ground and forcing consequences doesn’t come easily to us. We want to be nice. We want people to like us, but we shouldn’t have to trade our self-respect to gain friends or to achieve success.

We may be tempted to let minor disrespect slide to avoid conflict, but as the familiar saying goes, “if you give people an inch, they’ll take a mile.”

It’s much easier to address offensive or inappropriate behavior now than to wait until that behavior has gotten completely out of hand.

It’s also important to remember that positive reinforcement is even more powerful than negative consequences. When people do alter the way they treat you, acknowledge it. Let people know that you notice and appreciate their efforts.

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Final Thoughts

Respect is always a valid reason for setting a boundary. Don’t defend yourself or your needs. Boundaries are often necessary to protect your time, your space, and your feelings. And these are essential if you want to take control of your life.

Start with the easiest boundaries first. Setting boundaries is a skill that needs to be practiced. Enlist support from others if necessary. Inform people immediately when they have crossed the line.

Don’t wait. Communicate politely and directly. Be clear about the consequences and follow them through.

The better you become at setting your own boundaries, the better you become at recognizing and respecting the boundaries of others.

Remember that establishing boundaries is your right. You are entitled to respect. You can’t control how other people behave, but you do have control over the way you allow people to treat you.

Learning to set boundaries is not always easy, but with time, it will become more comfortable. You may eventually find that boundaries become automatic and you no longer need to consciously set them.

They will simply become a natural extension of your self-respect.

Featured photo credit: Thomas Kelley via unsplash.com

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