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A Letter To My Ex

A Letter To My Ex

To my ex,

I found myself in an uncommon situation last night. Well, it was uncommon for me over the past year and a half. I was in my bed, prepared for sleep, when I found myself thinking about you. My thoughts were back around three years ago when I asked you out. My mind then jumped to our conversation over messenger a short time ago – it didn’t feel right. The conversation didn’t end properly.

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I write this not out of guilt, rather because I feel you deserve it. And maybe a sprinkle of guilt. You deserve to know that I am thankful for the time we got to spend together. I appreciate your entry into my life and the affects you left on me. I am also grateful for the memories that now, after some time, I can look back on and enjoy. Even to this day, the effects and memories you left me with are still thriving and present.

You brought me out of my shell. You installed confidence and worth into me that we both know wasn’t present at the beginning of our time together. I possess sincere gratitude for how you changed me as a person. Thank you.

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The time post break-up has flowed very ordinarily. Typically finding myself focusing on my own wellbeing and self-growth, with an occasional and short-lived entrance of a female, just the way I wanted it. Somewhat recently, dissonance exploded in me. It was easy for me to find myself near females, but hard for me to find care for any of them. I believe this dissonance matured me and changed my mindset across many platforms.

Now, this is not a love confession, or a crafty attempt to reignite our relationship. This writing is me reaching out to clear the fog. You certainly deserve to know your lasting impact on me. I really hope I left a positive impact on you.

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Warmly,

Leo

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Last Updated on June 13, 2019

5 Fixes For Common Sleep Issues All Couples Deal With

5 Fixes For Common Sleep Issues All Couples Deal With

Sleeping next to your partner can be a satisfying experience and is typically seen as the mark of a stable, healthy home life. However, many more people struggle to share a bed with their partner than typically let on. Sleeping beside someone can decrease your sleep quality which negatively affects your life. Maybe you are light sleepers and you wake each other up throughout the night. Maybe one has a loud snoring habit that’s keeping the other awake. Maybe one is always crawling into bed in the early hours of the morning while the other likes to go to bed at 10 p.m.

You don’t have to feel ashamed of finding it difficult to sleep with your partner and you also don’t have to give up entirely on it. Common problems can be addressed with simple solutions such as an additional pillow. Here are five fixes for common sleep issues that couples deal with.

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1. Use a bigger mattress to sleep through movement

It can be difficult to sleep through your partner’s tossing and turning all night, particularly if they have to get in and out of bed. Waking up multiple times in one night can leave you frustrated and exhausted. The solution may be a switch to a bigger mattress or a mattress that minimizes movement.

Look for a mattress that allows enough space so that your partner can move around without impacting you or consider a mattress made for two sleepers like the Sleep Number bed.[1] This bed allows each person to choose their own firmness level. It also minimizes any disturbances their partner might feel. A foam mattress like the kind featured in advertisements where someone jumps on a bed with an unspilled glass of wine will help minimize the impact of your partner’s movements.[2]

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2. Communicate about scheduling conflicts

If one of you is a night owl and the other an early riser, bedtime can become a source of conflict. It’s hard for a light sleeper to be jostled by their partner coming to bed four hours after them. Talk to your partner about negotiating some compromises. If you’re finding it difficult to agree on a bedtime, negotiate with your partner. Don’t come to bed before or after a certain time, giving the early bird a chance to fully fall asleep before the other comes in. Consider giving the night owl an eye mask to allow them to stay in bed while their partner gets up to start the day.

3. Don’t bring your technology to bed

If one partner likes bringing devices to bed and the other partner doesn’t, there’s very little compromise to be found. Science is pretty unanimous on the fact that screens can cause harm to a healthy sleeper. Both partners should agree on a time to keep technology out of the bedroom or turn screens off. This will prevent both partners from having their sleep interrupted and can help you power down after a long day.

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4. White noise and changing positions can silence snoring

A snoring partner can be one of the most difficult things to sleep through. Snoring tends to be position-specific so many doctors recommend switching positions to stop the snoring. Rather than sleeping on your back doctors recommend turning onto your side. Changing positions can cut down on noise and breathing difficulties for any snorer. Using a white noise fan, or sound machine can also help soften the impact of loud snoring and keep both partners undisturbed.

5. Use two blankets if one’s a blanket hog

If you’ve got a blanket hog in your bed don’t fight it, get another blanket. This solution fixes any issues between two partners and their comforter. There’s no rule that you have to sleep under the same blanket. Separate covers can also cut down on tossing and turning making it a multi-useful adaptation.

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Rather than giving up entirely on sharing a bed with your partner, try one of these techniques to improve your sleeping habits. Sleeping in separate beds can be a normal part of a healthy home life, but compromise can go a long way toward creating harmony in a shared bed.

Featured photo credit: Becca Tapert via unsplash.com

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