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6 Struggles A 30-Something Woman Has When She Is Not Sure She’s Ready For A Baby

6 Struggles A 30-Something Woman Has When She Is Not Sure She’s Ready For A Baby

For a man, the big 3-0 is a time of joy as he is wiser, more handsome, and if he’s lucky, he’s also richer. But for a woman, the big round number comes with other joys: sexual maturation, an amazing sense of style and fashion, and the delight of knowing what she wants. Except, when it comes to having a baby.

You know, at 30, a woman’s biological clock begins ticking really loudly. 30 is the age when women start to worry about the number of their eggs and start visualizing the grim possibility of never becoming a mother. But what if that strong, confident, wise 30-something woman is not sure that she even wants to have a baby? Therein lies the struggle.

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1. You Get Pressured by Family

After your 30th birthday, all your family starts to put pressure on you to have a baby. If two weeks ago your parents and older siblings were talking to you about date rape drugs, now they are talking about your fertility and why you’re not doing anything with it. You’re going to hear “90% of your eggs are gone by your 30th birthday,” way too many times. And while you do know they might be right, you’re just not ready to hear it.

2. Your Mind Switches Between Two Extremes

When you can’t sleep or when you see a pregnant woman, your mind starts switching between two horror stories. There are the stories about 20-something-year-old women who struggle to have a baby and fail and there are the stories about 50-something-year-old women who manage to give birth by a miracle. Your mind will continue to switch between these two extremes for a long time to come, putting more pressure on you.

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3. You Have a Fear of Missing Out

A 30-something woman is going to see her childhood friends filling their social media accounts with pictures of their kids. Playing into this is scientifically proven to lead to depression, especially if you want to have a baby, but you are not ready yet. In most cases, if one of your friends has a baby, she will gradually distance herself from you and all the other women who don’t have kids, as your main discussion topics will start to change. Watching all those pictures of kids online is going to produce a feeling of emptiness, urging the ticking of your biological clock, even if you are not ready for this yet.

4. You Buy Pregnancy Tests

As result of all the pressure put on you, you are most likely going to stock up on commercial pregnancy tests and learn everything about a homemade pregnancy tests. Some women also end up downloading apps to calculate the time of the month where they are at their most fertile based on their cycle, while others ask their partners to eat cleaner and give up on all their bad habits, such as smoking.

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5. You Eat All The Foods Forbidden During Pregnancy

Despite stocking up on pregnancy tests, as a 30-something who is still undecided on having kids, you are going to eat as many forbidden pregnancy foods as possible. This is partially due to the pressure put on you from everyone and partially because you know that once you become pregnant, you won’t be able to eat those foods for the next nine months.

6. You Admire Yourself in Front of a Mirror

This is a classic sign of a woman who is not yet ready to become a mother, and at the same time, one who definitely does want to have a baby. While in front of your mirror with a pillow under your shirt as a belly, after hours of admiring that false baby bump, you might decide to conceive that night. In the end, however, you are still not sure about the reality of having a baby. A pillow baby is one thing, but a real human life is a completely different committment altogether.

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If you find that you’ve missed your period, you will eventually use one of those pregnancy tests. When you do, you will really find out if you are ready for a baby. If the second line fails to appear and you release a big sigh of relief, you weren’t ready yet and you should just wait for the right moment to try for a baby.

Having a baby is not a decision to make because everyone else is doing it or because your parents are pushing you and you feel pressured. Don’t let anyone push you into motherhood. When it is the right moment, you will know, because conceiving will come smoothly and naturally. No force necessary.

Featured photo credit: Unsplash via unsplash.com

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Published on April 9, 2021

50 Single Mom Quotes On Staying Strong And Loving

50 Single Mom Quotes On Staying Strong And Loving

Being a mom is not easy. Being a single mom is even more challenging. Having children means you are on the job 24/7. Even while you are sleeping, you are still ready to wake at the slightest peep because that is what moms do.

Moms, especially single moms, need more people cheering them on. Your love and care matter to your kids. You are their superhero. I think single moms are superheroes, too.

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The quotes below are words of encouragement for all of the single moms out there. Keep up the great work! Your hard work will pay off. Someday, they will be grown up and living on their own. Your job will never truly be done as a mom, but you can pat yourself on the back today and every day for doing mom duty day in and day out.

Here are 50 single mom quotes to encourage all the single moms out there.

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  1. “Being raised by a single mother, I learned to appreciate and value independent women.”—Kenny Conley
  2. “As a single mum you’ll discover inner strengths and capabilities you never knew you had.”—Emma-Louise Smith
  3. “One thing I know for sure – this motherhood thing is not for sissies.”—Jennifer Nettles
  4. “Mothers and their children are in a category all their own. There’s no bond so strong in the entire world. No love so instantaneous and forgiving.”—Gail Tsukiyama
  5. “And one day she discovered that she was fierce and strong, and full of fire and that not even she could hold herself back because her passion burned brighter than her fears.”—Mark Anthony
  6. “She never quite leaves her children at home, even when she doesn’t take them along.”—Margaret Culkin Banning
  7. “The most common way people give up their power is by thinking they don’t have any.”—Alice Walker
  8. “Everyone has inside of her a piece of good news. The good news is that you don’t know how great you can be, how much you can love, what you can accomplish, and what your potential is.”—Anne Frank
  9. “Doubt is a killer. You just have to know who you are and what you stand for.”—Jennifer Lopez
  10. “You are more powerful than you know; you are beautiful just as you are.”—Melissa Etheridge
  11. “Motherhood is the greatest thing and the hardest thing.”—Ricki Lake
  12. “You don’t take a class; you’re thrown into motherhood and learn from experience.”—Jennie Finch
  13. “If you look at what you have in life, you’ll always have more. If you look at what you don’t have in life, you’ll never have enough.”—Oprah Winfrey
  14. “I am no bird; and no net ensnares me: I am a free human being with an independent will.”—Charlotte Brontë
  15. “Above all, be the heroine of your life, not the victim.”—Nora Ephron
  16. “When a woman becomes her own best friend life is easier.”—Diane Von Furstenberg
  17. “If you want something said, ask a man; if you want something done, ask a woman.”—Margaret Thatcher
  18. “Women have discovered that they cannot rely on men’s chivalry to give them justice.”—Helen Keller
  19. “Successful mothers are not the ones that have never struggled. They are the ones that never give up, despite the struggles.”—Sharon Jaynes
  20. “Success, they taught me, is built on the foundation of courage, hard work, and individual responsibility. Despite what some would have us believe, success is not built on resentment and fears.”—Susana Martinez
  21. “You may not control all the events that happen to you, but you can decide not to be reduced by them.”—Maya Angelou
  22. “The question isn’t who’s going to let me; it’s who is going to stop me.”—Ayn Rand
  23. “God could not be everywhere, and therefore he made mothers.”—Rudyard Kipling
  24. “The women whom I love and admire for their strength and grace did not get that way because stuff worked out. They got that way because stuff went wrong, and they handled it. They handled it in a thousand different ways on a thousand different days, but they handled it. Those women are my superheroes.”—Elizabeth Gilbert
  25. “There will be so many times you feel like you failed. But in the eyes, ears, and mind of your child, you are a SUPER MOM.”—Stephanie Precourt
  26. “Motherhood is the ultimate call to sacrifice.”—Wangechi Mutu
  27. “We may encounter many defeats but we must not be defeated.”—Maya Angelou
  28. “A mother’s arms are more comforting than anyone else’s.”—Princess Diana
  29. “There’s no way to be a perfect mother and a million ways to be a good one.”—Jill Churchill
  30. “There’s no doubt that motherhood is the best thing in my life. It’s all that really matters.”—Courtney Cox
  31. “I realized when you look at your mother, you are looking at the purest love you will ever know.”—Mitch Albom
  32. “I have found being a mother has made me emotionally raw in many situations. Your heart is beating outside your body when you have a baby.”—Kate Beckinsale
  33. “Single moms, you are a doctor, a teacher, a nurse, a maid, a cook, a referee, a heroine, a provider, a defender, a protector, a true Superwoman. Wear your cape proudly.”—Mandy Hale
  34. “I’m not really single. I mean, I am, but I have a son. Being a single mother is different from being a single woman.”—Kate Hudson
  35. “Being a single parent is twice the work, twice the stress, and twice the tears but also twice the hugs, twice the love, and twice the pride.”—Unknown
  36. “For me, motherhood is learning about the strengths I didn’t know I had, and dealing with the fears I didn’t know existed.”—Halle Berry
  37. “A single mom tries when things are hard. She never gives up. She believes in her family, even when things are tough. She knows that above all things… a mother’s love is more than enough.”—Denice Williams
  38. “You do the best you can. Some days you feel really good about yourself and some days you don’t.”—Katie Holmes
  39. “I would say to any single parent currently feeling the weight of stereotype or stigmatization that I am prouder of my years as a single mother than of any other part of my life.”JK Rowling
  40. “Just because I am a single mother doesn’t mean I cannot be a success.”—Yvonne Kaloki
  41. “I didn’t plan on being a single mom, but you have to deal with the cards you are dealt the best way you can.”—Tichina Arnold
  42. “Nothing you do for children is ever wasted.”—Garrison Keillor
  43. “A single mom tries when things are hard. She never gives up. She believes in her family, even when things are tough. She knows that above all things, a mother’s love is more than enough.”—Deniece Williams
  44. “Motherhood has a very humanizing effect. Everything gets reduced to essentials.”—Meryl Streep
  45. “Having kids—the responsibility of rearing good, kind, ethical, responsible human beings—is the biggest job anyone can embark on.”—Maria Shriver
  46. “Mother is a verb. It’s something you do. Not just who you are.”—Cheryl Lacey Donovan
  47. “A mother’s love for her child is like nothing else in the world. It knows no law, no pity, it dates all things and crushes down remorselessly all that stands in its path.”—Agatha Christie
  48. “A mother’s arms are more comforting than anyone else’s.”—Princess Diana
  49. “The hand that rocks the cradle is the hand that rules the world.”—W.R. Wallace
  50. “Being a mother is the greatest blessing and the hardest challenge in all of life.”—Dr. Magdalena Battles

Final Thoughts

Single moms are remarkable women. They are to be respected and honored for all that they do. If you know a single mom, then share this article with them. Tell them “you are doing a great job as a single mom.” They need our encouragement and support.

They may be parenting alone, but it is good to let them know that there are people in their life who care for them. We can all be there for the single moms out there. Even if it is just to say, “keep up the great work, you are an amazing woman!”

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If you are a single mom, keep up the good work! You are amazing, and your kids are lucky to have you!

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Featured photo credit: Alexander Dummer via unsplash.com

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