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Ten-Year Mental Suffering Taught Me Ten Lessons to Be Mentally Strong

Ten-Year Mental Suffering Taught Me Ten Lessons to Be Mentally Strong

I never thought of sharing the same class with school juniors in my wildest dreams. I never thought of leaving my college degree after clearing the first year with highest marks. I never thought of visiting the psychiatrists and psychologists for my bipolar syndrome and recurrent depression treatment.

I never thought of giving some thought to ending my life in an unnatural way. I never thought of sealing myself in a room to avoid human interactions. Though my journey was full of unexpected events, it left behind some valuable lessons which I’ll cherish.

Here are ten lessons from my ten-year mentally traumatic journey to become a mentally strong person:

1. Take Some Time for Self-Examination

I was fed up with the hide-n-seek game in my personal life because I was the one who was always hiding away from the embarrassing questions. I was the one who was screaming within without making any audible noise.

I was the one who was hurting myself without showing any signs of pain. Most of the times, I was playing the torture game with no seekers because I wrapped myself in self-made fear. I was so afraid that I didn’t get the time to seek within.

power_of_mind

    I coated myself with thick layers of self-doubt. After going through several internal beating, I realized the importance of self-examination. Disconnect from the outer world to observe your real emotions. Analyze your mental state by just keeping you at the center.

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    2. Make Children Your Mentor

    There was a point in my life when I became over-cautious about other’s opinions. ‘If I smile too much, how people are going to interpret my behavior.’ If I talk casually with them, they might ask me depressing questions.’

    Though I refrained myself from the social gathering to face the awkward reactions, I felt comfortable in kid’s company. I used to laugh at their silly jokes wholeheartedly without any fear of judgment.

    mental_strength_future

      Kids don’t have time for judgment because they are too busy in enjoying the present moment. Spend quality time with children to simplify your life. Take their guidance on how to boost the spirit despite repeated failures.

      3. Stay away from the Comparison Trap

      When I was planning to quit my life, my friends were planning to join a company to settle in life. When my junior cousins came ahead of me on academic grounds, I felt insecure while interacting with them. I became inactive on social media because I felt bad for myself after reading the success stories in my page feed.

      keep_going

        After wasting my quality time in baseless comparison, I understood the relevance of directing all energies on our personal growth. Instead of radiating negative thoughts, recollect the positive memories and have a gratitude list. Devote time on carving your beautiful path.

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        4. Never Display Your Pitiable Side

        Never portray yourself as a pitiable soul. Strip off the attention-seeking attitude. “I feel sad for your current state because you have the potential.” This statement became a routine affair for me. But, I didn’t feel the same thing.

        four_is_one

          Never feel sad about your current state because everything happens for a good reason. I couldn’t picture myself as a writer if I haven’t gone through the traumatic phase of my life. A constant struggle shows your patience to face the odd winds, not your weak side.

          5. Only the Wearer knows Where the Shoe Pinches

          You can’t expect others to experience your mental state. In my dark phase, most of the conversations ended up with this statement, “Yatin, it’s time to get serious in life. Increase your willpower.” At that point, I want to punch all of them right in their face due to frustration. Am I a fool to ruin my life deliberately?

          mental_toughness

            After some time, I realized that it was not their fault. It’s hard to understand how much others are suffering. People can just imagine your mental state, but you are the one who feels it actually.

            6. Choose Your Listeners Properly

            I realized this important lesson when I was interacting with my school friend. As soon I was about to disclose my true feelings, he shocked me with this statement, ‘A drop year won’t affect your growth because you are a bright student. I know you did this deliberately to gather the sympathy from teachers.’ I was on the verge of crying, but I gathered the confidence to reply him with a fake smile.

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            indomitable_will

              It feels good to share the feelings but choose the listeners correctly. Share close things with those who care for you. Don’t break down in front of anyone because people, who take you casually, don’t give a fu*k about your mental state.

              7. Have Faith in Your Work

              Whenever there was a discussion related to career building among my friends and relatives, I felt myself in the freeze position waiting for the right time to take an exit. I didn’t know how to express my nature of work. “How will you generate income?” “Is there any scope?” What else, for sustenance, are you doing apart from writing? My self-confidence hit a major blow after facing these fearsome questions.

              what_you_do

                Today, I proudly call myself as a positive blogger who is on a mission to help people rediscover their source of positivity. I don’t care about those individuals who don’t respect my cause. Do what you love without caring about others. Why? One day, the same people will appreciate your patience and hard work for choosing the unique path.

                8. Let It Be

                Some of my relatives thought I was just wasting my time while sitting at home. As they didn’t know anything about my blogging work, they asked me to stay at their home for mood upliftment. ‘What important work you do at home, apart from just sitting?’, was the usual reply after my refusal to stay at their home.

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                shines_from_within

                  I never felt the urge to explain them the reason for my refusal. To them, success meant visible achievement. The struggle to overcome the mental barriers had no relevance in their dictionary. No use of draining your energy on these individuals. Just let it be.

                  9. Beware of Stress Eating

                  Who faced the beatings of my stress? My digestive system. I didn’t eat to satisfy my physical hunger, but for cursing my fate. Indulgence in high-fat, sugary foods became my silent punishment. Though my mom was concerned about my weird demands, she couldn’t find the exact reason for my changing eating habits.

                  true_mental_strength

                    You won’t gain anything, except more tension and weight, by punishing your body. Keep a track on your eating patterns. Fill your tummy for nourishing your body, nothing else.

                    10. Ask Yourself: At What Cost?

                    With time, I realized a graduation certificate couldn’t decide my fate. I’m not against any college degree. It’s good to have a proof to showcase your expertise, but I asked myself the same question. When I was at the lowest point in my life, I took the tough decision to drop my college degree. The decision took away my four valuable years because I was not ready to face the harsh questions. If I have taken this step earlier, I would have concentrated on other aspects of life.

                    quality_life

                      Before putting your foot in any work, understand the cost of leaving other tasks for the same time and effort. Don’t just do things for the sake of fulfilling the expectations of the society. Don’t do stuff which is expected from you. Focus on those things what you expect from yourself.

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                      Yatin Khulbe

                      Positivity Advocate

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                      Last Updated on November 5, 2018

                      8 Powerful Reasons to Love Your Enemies

                      8 Powerful Reasons to Love Your Enemies

                      We’ve all got our enemies; people who take pleasure in causing us pain and misery. Sometimes, the development of an enemy is due to certain differences in your characters and events have led to that. Other times, some people end up hating you for apparently no reason at all.

                      Regardless of how you got this enemy, as opposed to the paradigm of fighting fire with fire, consider the following reasons and see why you should actually appreciate your enemies. This article will show you not only how to not be bothered by your enemies, but how to actually foster love for them.

                      Read on to learn the secret.

                      1. It’s a practical lesson in anger management

                      To be honest, your enemies are the best people to help you understand your sense of anger management. When it might be true that your enemies have a way of bringing out the worst in you as regards anger, it is also true that they can help you in your quest to have that anger managed. You can’t get truly angry at someone you love and it is only in that time when you get truly annoyed that you learn how to manage it.

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                      Anger management is more effective when it is in practice and not in theory

                      Your enemies are like the therapists who you need, but actually don’t want. Inasmuch as you might want to hate them, they provide you an opportunity to control the anger impulse that you have.

                      2. It’s an opportunity for healthy competition

                      You might not know it, but your enemies make for great rivals as they help harness the competitor in you (sometimes, you might not even know or bee conversant with this competitive side until you come across an adversary). You get the right motivation to compete and this can go a long way to spur you to victory.

                      However, while doing so, it is also essential that you remember not to become a worse version of yourself while competing. Working against an adversary is tricky, and you need to ensure that you don’t cause harm to yourself or your morals in the process. Healthy competition is all you need to get out of this.

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                      3. Their negative comments can help you make a breakthrough

                      It is true that your enemies never really have much good to say about you. However, in as much as they might be talking out of a place of hate, there might be some truth to what they’re saying.

                      To wit, whenever you hear something mean or nasty from an enemy, you might want to take a step back and evaluate yourself. There is a chance that what this enemy is saying is true and coming to face that fact is a major step in helping you to become a better person overall. This is another testament to the fact that enemies can be therapists in their own way.

                      4. Enemies can also be powerful allies

                      Loving your enemies can also mean making an effort to interact and make peace with them. In the end, if you are able to establish some common ground and patch things up, you’ll have succeeded in making another friend. And who doesn’t need friends?

                      This can also help you in working with people in the long run. You get to hone your inter-personal skills, and that can be a big plus to your ledger.

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                      5. It gives you the ability to realize positivity

                      In a multitude of negativity, a speck of positivity always seems to find its way through.

                      Sometimes, a knowledge of the fact that you have enemies will also help you to focus on the many positives and good things that are in your life. A lot of times, we neglect what really matters in life. This can be due to being overly concerned with the enemies we have.

                      However, it is also possible for this acknowledgement to spur you to take a step back and appreciate the goo things (and people who surround you).

                      6. There might just be a misunderstanding

                      Sometimes, the reason why you have an enemy might be something very innocuous. You might not have known the cause of this fractured relationship and your enemy will help complete the picture.

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                      Simply approaching them will help you to understand the reason for the fracture. This, in turn, can help you to work towards healing your relationship moving forward. Misunderstandings happen, and you need to be able to work around them.

                      7. You learn to appreciate love as well

                      A constant reminder of the fact that there are enemies will also help you not to take those who love you for granted. Love and hate are two opposing emotions and it is possible for one to momentarily overshadow the other.

                      However, while you’ll always have enemies, there will also always be people who love you. These people need to be appreciated for what they do for you. Never let the hate projected to you from your enemies take the place of that.

                      8. Do you really need the hate?

                      The truth is that enemies bring only toxic emotions and generate bad reactions from you. If you’re truly to live a prosperous life, you can’t really be carrying all this baggage around.

                      Hate is bad and you should try all you can to get rid of it. It is a well-known fact that nobody can get really far in life while carrying a lot of emotional baggage. Well, hate is the biggest form of emotional baggage there is.

                      Featured photo credit: rawpixel via unsplash.com

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