Advertising
Advertising

Ten-Year Mental Suffering Taught Me Ten Lessons to Be Mentally Strong

Ten-Year Mental Suffering Taught Me Ten Lessons to Be Mentally Strong

I never thought of sharing the same class with school juniors in my wildest dreams. I never thought of leaving my college degree after clearing the first year with highest marks. I never thought of visiting the psychiatrists and psychologists for my bipolar syndrome and recurrent depression treatment.

I never thought of giving some thought to ending my life in an unnatural way. I never thought of sealing myself in a room to avoid human interactions. Though my journey was full of unexpected events, it left behind some valuable lessons which I’ll cherish.

Here are ten lessons from my ten-year mentally traumatic journey to become a mentally strong person:

1. Take Some Time for Self-Examination

I was fed up with the hide-n-seek game in my personal life because I was the one who was always hiding away from the embarrassing questions. I was the one who was screaming within without making any audible noise.

I was the one who was hurting myself without showing any signs of pain. Most of the times, I was playing the torture game with no seekers because I wrapped myself in self-made fear. I was so afraid that I didn’t get the time to seek within.

power_of_mind

    I coated myself with thick layers of self-doubt. After going through several internal beating, I realized the importance of self-examination. Disconnect from the outer world to observe your real emotions. Analyze your mental state by just keeping you at the center.

    Advertising

    2. Make Children Your Mentor

    There was a point in my life when I became over-cautious about other’s opinions. ‘If I smile too much, how people are going to interpret my behavior.’ If I talk casually with them, they might ask me depressing questions.’

    Though I refrained myself from the social gathering to face the awkward reactions, I felt comfortable in kid’s company. I used to laugh at their silly jokes wholeheartedly without any fear of judgment.

    mental_strength_future

      Kids don’t have time for judgment because they are too busy in enjoying the present moment. Spend quality time with children to simplify your life. Take their guidance on how to boost the spirit despite repeated failures.

      3. Stay away from the Comparison Trap

      When I was planning to quit my life, my friends were planning to join a company to settle in life. When my junior cousins came ahead of me on academic grounds, I felt insecure while interacting with them. I became inactive on social media because I felt bad for myself after reading the success stories in my page feed.

      keep_going

        After wasting my quality time in baseless comparison, I understood the relevance of directing all energies on our personal growth. Instead of radiating negative thoughts, recollect the positive memories and have a gratitude list. Devote time on carving your beautiful path.

        Advertising

        4. Never Display Your Pitiable Side

        Never portray yourself as a pitiable soul. Strip off the attention-seeking attitude. “I feel sad for your current state because you have the potential.” This statement became a routine affair for me. But, I didn’t feel the same thing.

        four_is_one

          Never feel sad about your current state because everything happens for a good reason. I couldn’t picture myself as a writer if I haven’t gone through the traumatic phase of my life. A constant struggle shows your patience to face the odd winds, not your weak side.

          5. Only the Wearer knows Where the Shoe Pinches

          You can’t expect others to experience your mental state. In my dark phase, most of the conversations ended up with this statement, “Yatin, it’s time to get serious in life. Increase your willpower.” At that point, I want to punch all of them right in their face due to frustration. Am I a fool to ruin my life deliberately?

          mental_toughness

            After some time, I realized that it was not their fault. It’s hard to understand how much others are suffering. People can just imagine your mental state, but you are the one who feels it actually.

            6. Choose Your Listeners Properly

            I realized this important lesson when I was interacting with my school friend. As soon I was about to disclose my true feelings, he shocked me with this statement, ‘A drop year won’t affect your growth because you are a bright student. I know you did this deliberately to gather the sympathy from teachers.’ I was on the verge of crying, but I gathered the confidence to reply him with a fake smile.

            Advertising

            indomitable_will

              It feels good to share the feelings but choose the listeners correctly. Share close things with those who care for you. Don’t break down in front of anyone because people, who take you casually, don’t give a fu*k about your mental state.

              7. Have Faith in Your Work

              Whenever there was a discussion related to career building among my friends and relatives, I felt myself in the freeze position waiting for the right time to take an exit. I didn’t know how to express my nature of work. “How will you generate income?” “Is there any scope?” What else, for sustenance, are you doing apart from writing? My self-confidence hit a major blow after facing these fearsome questions.

              what_you_do

                Today, I proudly call myself as a positive blogger who is on a mission to help people rediscover their source of positivity. I don’t care about those individuals who don’t respect my cause. Do what you love without caring about others. Why? One day, the same people will appreciate your patience and hard work for choosing the unique path.

                8. Let It Be

                Some of my relatives thought I was just wasting my time while sitting at home. As they didn’t know anything about my blogging work, they asked me to stay at their home for mood upliftment. ‘What important work you do at home, apart from just sitting?’, was the usual reply after my refusal to stay at their home.

                Advertising

                shines_from_within

                  I never felt the urge to explain them the reason for my refusal. To them, success meant visible achievement. The struggle to overcome the mental barriers had no relevance in their dictionary. No use of draining your energy on these individuals. Just let it be.

                  9. Beware of Stress Eating

                  Who faced the beatings of my stress? My digestive system. I didn’t eat to satisfy my physical hunger, but for cursing my fate. Indulgence in high-fat, sugary foods became my silent punishment. Though my mom was concerned about my weird demands, she couldn’t find the exact reason for my changing eating habits.

                  true_mental_strength

                    You won’t gain anything, except more tension and weight, by punishing your body. Keep a track on your eating patterns. Fill your tummy for nourishing your body, nothing else.

                    10. Ask Yourself: At What Cost?

                    With time, I realized a graduation certificate couldn’t decide my fate. I’m not against any college degree. It’s good to have a proof to showcase your expertise, but I asked myself the same question. When I was at the lowest point in my life, I took the tough decision to drop my college degree. The decision took away my four valuable years because I was not ready to face the harsh questions. If I have taken this step earlier, I would have concentrated on other aspects of life.

                    quality_life

                      Before putting your foot in any work, understand the cost of leaving other tasks for the same time and effort. Don’t just do things for the sake of fulfilling the expectations of the society. Don’t do stuff which is expected from you. Focus on those things what you expect from yourself.

                      More by this author

                      Yatin Khulbe

                      Positivity Advocate

                      Ten-Year Mental Suffering Taught Me Ten Lessons to Be Mentally Strong Myths_of_Yoga 10 Myths of Yoga Fractured – Last Myth Will Change the Way You Think 8 Types of Toxic Employees Behaviors That Are Destructive To Any Companies (And How To Deal With Them) Long Distance Relationships 10 Things To Remember If You’re In A Long Distance Relationship mindfulness 10 Easy Ways To Practice Mindfulness

                      Trending in 20-Something

                      1 One Solid Practice for Tackling Low Self-Esteem 2 If You Want To Get Help From Others Easily, Remember To Avoid This Mistake 3 7 Tools to Optimize Your Next Long-Term Traveling Experience 4 How To Go Through College And Stay Sane 5 The Battle Of The Voices In My Head

                      Read Next

                      Advertising
                      Advertising
                      Advertising

                      Last Updated on July 18, 2019

                      What Makes People Happy? 20 Secrets of “Always Happy” People

                      What Makes People Happy? 20 Secrets of “Always Happy” People

                      Some people just seem to float through life with a relentless sense of happiness – through the toughest of times, they’re unfazed and aloof, stopping to smell the roses and drinking out of a glass half full.

                      They may not have much to be happy about, but the simplicity behind that fact itself may make them happy.

                      It’s all a matter of perspective, conscious effort and self-awareness. Listed below are a number of reasons why some people are always happy.

                      1. They Manage Their Expectations

                      They’re not crushed when they don’t get what they want – or misled into expecting to get the most out of every situation. They approach every situation pragmatically, hoping for the best but being prepared for the worst.

                      2. They Don’t Set Unrealistic Standards

                      Similar to the last point, they don’t live their lives in a constant pursuit towards impossible visions of perfection, only to always find themselves falling short of what they want.

                      3. They Don’t Take Anything for Granted

                      Happiness rests with feeling fulfilled – those who fail to stop and appreciate what they have every now and again will never experience true fulfillment.

                      Advertising

                      4. They’re Not Materialistic

                      There are arguing viewpoints on whether or not money can really buy happiness; if it can, then we know from experience that we can never be satisfied because there will always be something newer or better that we want. Who has ever had enough money?

                      5. They Don’t Dwell

                      They don’t sweat the small things or waste time worrying about things that don’t really matter at the end of the day. They don’t let negative thoughts latch onto them and drain them or distract them. Life’s too short to worry.

                      6. They Care About Themselves First

                      They’re independent, care for themselves and understand that they must put their needs first in order to accommodate the needs of others.

                      They indulge, aim to get what they want, make time for themselves and are extremely self-reliant.

                      7. They Enjoy the Little Things

                      They stop to smell the roses. They’re accustomed to find serenity when it’s available, to welcome entertainment or a stimulating discussion with a stranger when it crosses their path. They don’t overlook the small things in life that can be just as important.

                      8. They Can Adapt

                      They’re not afraid of change and they work to make the most out of new circumstances, good or bad. They thrive under pressure, are not overwhelmed easily and always embrace a change of pace.

                      Advertising

                      9. They Experiment

                      They try new things, experience new flavors and never shy away from something they have yet to experience. They never order twice from the same menu.

                      10. They Take Their Time

                      They don’t unnecessarily rush through life. They work on their own schedule to the extent that they can and maneuver through life at their own relaxing pace.

                      11. They Employ Different Perspectives

                      They’re not stuck in one perspective; a loss can result in a new opportunity, hitting rock bottom can mean that there’s no where to go but up.

                      12. They Seek to Learn

                      Their constant pursuit of knowledge keeps them inspired and interested in life. They cherish information and are on a life-long quest to learn as much as they can.

                      13. They Always Have a Plan

                      They don’t find themselves drifting without purpose. When something doesn’t go as planned, they have a plan for every letter in the alphabet to fall back on.

                      14. They Give Respect to Get It

                      They are respectful and, in turn, are seen as respectable; the respect they exude earns them the respect they deserve.

                      Advertising

                      15. They Consider Every Opportunity

                      They always have their eyes open for a new road, a new avenue worth exploring. They know how to recognize opportune moments and pounce on them to make the most of every situation. Success is inevitable for them.

                      16. They Always Seek to Improve

                      Perpetual self-improvement is the key towards their ongoing thirst for success. Whatever it is they do, they take pride in getting better and better, from social interactions to mundane tasks. Their pursuit at being the best eventually materializes.

                      17. They Don’t Take Life Too Seriously

                      They’re not ones to get offended easily over-analyze or complicate matters. They laugh at their own faults and misfortunes.

                      18. They Live in the Moment

                      They don’t live for tomorrow or dwell on what may have happened yesterday. Every day is a new opportunity, a new chapter. They live in the now, and in doing so, get the most out of every moment.

                      You can learn how to do so too: How to Live in the Moment and Stop Worrying About the Past or Future

                      19. They Say Yes

                      Much more often than they say no. They don’t have to be badgered to go out, don’t shy away from new opportunities or anything that may seem inconvenient.

                      Advertising

                      20. They’re Self-Aware

                      Most important, they’re wholly aware of themselves. They self-reflect and are conscious of their states of mind. If somethings bothering them, they fix it.

                      We’re all susceptible to feeling down every now and again, but we are all equipped with the necessary solutions that just have to be discovered.

                      Lack of confidence, inability to feel fulfilled, and susceptibility to stress are all matters that can be controlled through the way we handle our lives and perceive our circumstances.

                      Learn about How Self-Reflection Gives You a Happier and More Successful Life.

                      Final Thoughts

                      The main philosophy employed by the happiest includes the idea that life’s simply too short: life’s too short to let things get you down, to take things for granted, to pursue absolute and unrealistic perfection.

                      For some, employing these characteristics is a second nature – they do it without knowing. For others, a conscious effort must be put forth every now and again. Self-Awareness is key.

                      More About Happiness

                      Featured photo credit: Charles Postiaux via unsplash.com

                      Read Next