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Suppress Your True Emotions Often? Science Says It Can Seriously Harm Your Memory

Suppress Your True Emotions Often? Science Says It Can Seriously Harm Your Memory

Think back to one of the best days of your life as a child. Close your eyes and visualize that experience– go ahead, I’ll wait… What did you see?

Flashbulb Memories

So why is it that we can recall events happening years earlier in such precise and vivid detail? This particular phenomenon has intrigued and perplexed cognitive psychologists and neuroscientists for decades. Research has found that our emotional state at the time of an event, can affect our ability to memorize its details.

In 1977, researchers at Harvard [1] published a paper entitled Flashbulb Memories [2] in which psychologists Roger Brown, Ph.D., and James Kulik, Ph.D. noted that people are often able to vividly recollect where they were when an event occurred that was significant to them. The doctors hypothesized that these memories are so emotionally important to us that they’re recorded in our minds as vividly, completely and accurately as a photograph.

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Emotions–good and bad–assist with mental recall

It is amazing how our minds can awaken emotional memories [3] of passionate and unsullied love, pride in accomplishments, or the joy experienced during a particularly poignant event such as the birth of a child. Unfortunately, memories of things we’d rather forget seem to have greater intensity than the pleasant ones. Emotions, good or bad are a way of framing an event and holding on to it indefinitely.

This is why suppressing emotions or limiting your ability to feel during certain times can inhibit your ability to recall important events. Some research points to the fact that when people work to control their reactions to emotional events[4], their memory of the event is affected. Emotional distance keeps you disengaged, not only in the moment but also long term.

Being emotionally inexpressive doesn’t necessarily doom you to a life of dullness with no memories of good times–if you conscientiously practice becoming in tune with your emotions:

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1. Journal how you feel

When something significant happens and you feel “some kind of way,” journal [5] your thoughts and from that, your true feelings will emerge. Recording emotions in writing not only helps with long term memory but it also assists with cognitively processing difficult or complex events.

A journal acts as a free therapist and provides a judgment-free zone for expressing your reactions. It becomes “someone” with whom you can freely express your feelings. Using a journal to self-express can relieve anxiety, help you to understand negative emotional triggers, and resolve problems in your daily life.

2. Express how you feel in your daily conversations

Using “feeling statements” [6] to express how you feel in everyday contexts that are not high stakes and are non-threatening is a great way to become aware of how you are feeling, take ownership of your feelings and express them verbally to others for more effective communication.

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To begin, state your feelings upfront using the words “I feel____.” Once the feeling is identified and stated, it should be connected to an issue or event. And then, when warranted, a solution should be offered–the solution does not necessarily have to be a viable one. Ideally, this allows the other listeners to focus on helping to alleviate the discomfort, rather than defending him or herself.

3. Re-frame negative emotions in a positive light

Or to put it another way, “find the silver lining.” Unfortunately, negative emotions are more powerful and stay with us longer than positive ones. Being able to first understand and own how you feel is important to being able to view it differently. Find the optimistic point of view in an otherwise negative situation. This takes practice and is not easy to do initially.

In the initial stages, this can most effectively be done through journaling. Then as time progresses, you will have retrained your brain to do this automatically and your memories of negative experiences are present but the intensity is lower.

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Emotional memories are powerful and serve to guide and inform us as we navigate the present and prepare for the future. They can inform you of a fundamental truth that you don’t want to acknowledge, help you from repeating mistakes, and allow you to relive the best times of your life.

Reference

[1] http://scholar.harvard.edu/files/schacterlab/files/hirst_etal_jepgeneral_2015.pdf
[2] https://www.apa.org/monitor/2011/09/memories.aspx
[3] https://www.psychologytoday.com/basics/memory
[4] http://www.memory-key.com/memory/emotion
[5] http://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/2012/05/02/4-journaling-exercises-to-help-you-manage-your-emotions/
[6] https://www.verywell.com/what-are-feeling-statements-425163

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Denise Hill

Denise shares about psychology and communication tips on Lifehack.

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Published on October 22, 2020

What Is Analysis Paralysis (And How to Overcome It)

What Is Analysis Paralysis (And How to Overcome It)

Have you ever taken so long trying to solve a problem that you just ended up going around in circles? How about trying to make a major decision and just freezing up when the time to decide came?

You might have found yourself gathering too much information, hoping it will help you make the best decision—even if it takes you too long to do so. This probably led to many missed opportunities, especially in situations where you needed to act on time.

Nobody wants to make the wrong decision. However, delayed decision making can have a hugely negative impact on all aspects of your life—from your personal relationships to your career. Delaying important decisions can be the worst decision of all.

At one point or another, people get stuck at a decision impasse they can’t seem to overcome. This is due to a mental blindspot called information bias, informally known as analysis paralysis.

Analysis Paralysis and Stalled Decisions

Information bias, or analysis paralysis, is our tendency to seek more information than is needed to make decisions and take action.[1] It is one of many cognitive biases that cause us to make mistakes during the decision-making process.

A related cognitive bias is the status quo bias, which is our tendency to prefer that things stay the same and fear any changes.[2] Together with analysis paralysis, these two dangerous judgment errors pose a threat to our successful navigation through our rapidly-shifting world.

Consider what happened to Lily, a consulting client of mine who’s a mid-level manager in the UX department of a large tech company. Lily had been there for 5 years and was thinking about switching to a startup after a couple tried to recruit her.

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However, she had been taking a lot of time making a decision. In fact, before she contacted me, she had already gathered information and talked to a lot of people for 7 months. Realistically, more information won’t sway her decision, but she kept trying to gather more information.

And then, there was the technology company that came to me after their growth started to decline. The company had initially experienced rapid growth with a couple of innovative products. However, its growth started to decrease—unfortunate, but not unexpected.

Essentially, the company’s growth followed the typical S-curve growth model, which starts as a slow and effortful start-up stage. This is followed by a rapid growth stage, then a slowdown in growth, often following market saturation or competitive pressure or other factors. This is the point where the company’s existing products reach maturity.

However, even before a slowdown hits, forward-thinking companies would innovate and change things up proactively. This is so they could have new products ready to go that would maintain rapid growth.

Unfortunately, this wasn’t the case with this particular tech company. Not only did they not address the potential decline but once the company’s growth stalled, the leaders dug their heels in and stayed the course. They kept on analyzing the market to find the cause of the problem.

Worse, a couple of executives in the company proposed launching new products, but most of the leadership was cautious. They kept on asking for guarantees that the products would be a success, demanding more information even when additional information wasn’t relevant.

Both Lily and the tech company remained paralyzed by too much information when they should already have taken action. While this situation isn’t unexpected, it is totally avoidable.

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As I told both parties when they consulted me, all they needed to do was to face analysis paralysis head-on and make a decision. But they had to follow the best decision-making process available first, didn’t they?

8-Step Decision-Making Process to Avoid Analysis Paralysis

I told Lily and the leaders at the tech company that we should never go with our gut if we want to avoid disasters in our personal and professional lives.[3] Instead, I advised them, as I advise you now, to follow data-driven, research-based approaches, such as the one I’ll outline below.

From hiring a new employee, launching a new product, selecting a Zoom guest speaker for your annual video conference to deciding whether to apply for a higher-level position within your company, the following steps will help you fight analysis paralysis and make the best decisions possible.

1. Identify the Need to Launch a Decision-Making Process

This is particularly important when there’s no explicit crisis that cries out for a change or decision to be made. Such recognition is also applicable when your natural intuitions are keeping you from acknowledging the need for a tough decision.

Remember that the best decision-makers take the initiative to recognize the need for decisions before they become an emergency. They also don’t let gut reactions cloud their decision-making capacity.

2. Gather Relevant Information From a Wide Variety of Informed Perspectives

Listen especially to opinions you disagree with. Contradicting perspectives empower you to distance yourself from the comfortable reliance on your gut instincts, which can sometimes be harmful to decision-making. Opposing ideas also help you recognize any potential bias blind spots, and this allows you to come up with solutions that you may not have otherwise.

3. Paint a Clear Vision of Your Desired Outcome

Using the data gleaned from step 2, decide which goals you want to reach. Paint a clear vision of the desired outcome of your decision-making process. You should also recognize that what seems to be a one-time decision may turn out to be a symptom of an underlying issue with current processes and practices. Make addressing these root problems part of the outcome you want to achieve.

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4. Make a Decision-Making Process Criteria

Make a decision-making process criteria to weigh the various options of how you’d like to get to your desired outcome. As much as possible, develop these criteria before you start to consider choices. Our intuitions bias our decision-making criteria to encourage certain outcomes that fit our instincts. As a result, you get overall worse decisions if you don’t develop criteria before starting to look at options.

5. Generate Several Viable Options

We tend to fall into the trap of generating insufficient options to make the best decisions, and this can lead to analysis paralysis. To prevent this, you should generate many more options than you usually would. Generate several viable options that can help you achieve your decision-making process goals. Go for 5 attractive options as the minimum.

Keep in mind that this is a brainstorming step, so don’t judge options no matter how far fetched they might seem. In my consulting and coaching experience, the optimal choice often involves elements drawn from out-of-the-box options.

6. Weigh These Options and Pick the Best One

When weighing your options, beware of going with your initial preferences. Try to see your preferred choice in a harsh light. Also, do your best to separate each option from the person who proposed it. This minimizes the impact of personalities, relationships, and internal politics on the decision itself.

7. Implement the Option You Chose

For implementing the decision, you need to minimize risks and maximize rewards, since your goal is to get a decision outcome that’s as good as possible.

First, imagine that the decision completely failed. Then, brainstorm about all the problems that led to this failure. Next, consider how you might solve these problems, and integrate the solutions into your implementation plan.

Next, imagine that the decision absolutely succeeded. Brainstorm all the reasons for success and consider how you can bring these reasons into life. Then, integrate what you learned into implementing the decisions.

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Finally, develop clear metrics of success that you can measure throughout the implementation process. This will enable you to check if you’re meeting the goals you identified in step 3. It will also help guide your goal-setting process—something to keep in mind when you use this decision-making technique again in the future.

8. Set a Reminder to Use the Process for Future Decisions

Regularly check if it’s time to employ the decision-making process once again. As discussed in the first step, there may be times when there’s no explicit crisis that cries out for a change, even though underlying issues might already be signaling that it’s time for a tough decision.

Setting a reminder—perhaps a visual one such as a note on your desk, or even just a scheduled alert on your phone—will ensure that you can catch decision-making cues before they’re due.

While Lily and the tech company initially had to fight off a lot of discomforts when using the process, they were ultimately rewarded with sound decisions they were immensely satisfied with.

This battle-tested method will do the same for you. It will certainly propel your decision-making and, at the same time, help you thwart analysis paralysis and avoid decision disasters.

Conclusion

Nobody wants to make the wrong decision, but you also don’t want to take too long and miss opportunities. By using a data-driven and research-based approach to decision making, you can nip analysis paralysis in the bud and make the best decisions.

More Tips to Overcome Analysis Paralysis

Featured photo credit: Muhmed El-Bank via unsplash.com

Reference

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