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Small Things That Will Tell You About A Person’s Personality

Small Things That Will Tell You About A Person’s Personality

How do you evaluate a person? Is it the way they walk? The way they talk? Is it the big things, or the small things? Truth be told, there is always more to a person than what the first impression will convey. However, the first time you see someone, if you use these tips, you will be able to accurately determine what kind of person they are after the first few interactions.

Here is a list of small things that can give you insight into a person’s personality.

They are small because you really have to notice carefully in order to see them but you’ll be glad you did. This insight is especially necessary if the person is a prospective business partner, mate, friend or some other close associate.

How do they argue?

When disagreements with loved ones develop, do they attack the person or the problem? Positive individuals, ones you want to keep close, argue in order to solve a problem not to make the other person(s) look or feel bad.

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How often does this person’s emotion change?

Do they get angry over seemingly nothing? Ideally, a person who is able to control his or her emotions is the one you want to spend time with or have dealings with. This will tell you a lot about the person’s emotional stability.

How well do they handle rejection?

What response does the word “no” evoke? Does the person throw a tantrum like a child, believing he/she should have everything he/she wants? This will tell you how important the individual sees him or herself and how realistic he/she is. A realist and a person who attaches moderate importance to him/herself will remain calm as much as possible.

How fast does the person answer questions?

This can tell you whether this person is quiet or talkative – an introvert or an extrovert. It may also tell you how thoughtful a person is or maybe how self-conscious.

Is he/she a gossip?

Most times if he/she will gossip to you, he/she will have no qualms about gossiping about you. Bear in mind that there is good gossip and bad gossip so don’t be too quick to dismiss a gossiper. Focus on the content of the gossip. Is it true? Is it constructive? This will tell you how thoughtful the person is and if he/she is positive.

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How does he/she react to a change of plans?

So plans are not always set out the right way and may have to be changed – last minute even. How the person reacts will say if he or she is flexible or rigid. Either way, it isn’t a bad thing. You just need to decide which personality works best with yours.

Whose fault is it?

Are they good at handling blame? When it is their fault, do they admit or do they try to pin it on someone else? This will show how responsible and honest the person is and also what he/she thinks of him/self.

What is their attitude towards the less fortunate?

Listen to how the person talks about the less fortunate. Watch how they treat them as well. This will tell you how empathetic a person is and will reveal if the person is self-absorbed or if he/she genuinely cares about others. It takes a caring person to really feel for strangers who are disadvantaged.

Where do they live?

No, not their address; determine where their focus is. Notice if their conversations center on the past, present or future. You will determine if the person is regretful or nostalgic, you may even find a hint of sentimentality. On the other hand, the person may be a worrier. Still, others have their feet planted in the here and now. Again, you choose who you want to be like, because after hanging around with this person, you may very well adopt their outlook.

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Why do they hang around you, or any of their friends for that matter?

Ok, so this may be a bit painful especially if your dear friend is only hanging around so he/she can get the free rides to school/work. Notice if the person really enjoys others’ company or sticks around for what he/she can get.

Do they consider the feelings of others?

When making a decision do they take the feelings of others into consideration or is mainly about themselves? This can be an indication of whether a person cares about people and is considerate or is selfish and thinks only of him/herself.

Do their words often cause offense?

Linked to the point above, this will show just how selfish a person is. Otherwise, it may just be honesty and a lack of tact. Again, you get to choose which person you deal with.

How punctual is this person?

Notice the effort they put into being on time. This will show how respectful a person is or how defiant of authority they are.

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How do they carry themselves or keep their surroundings?

Are their clothes neat and clean? Is their room or car neat and clean? Often these indicate how organized a person is. The amount of clutter around them generally tells the amount of clutter in their minds. What is around them? That may indicate whether they are artsy, sporty or reserved.

What kind of aura does the person have?

When the person walks into a room, what effect does their presence have on others? Do the people in the room go quiet? Does their entry go unnoticed? Is the air tense or lighter and happier?

What are some of the small things that you look for? What could you have added to this list? What could you have removed from this list? All in all, we are faced with decisions about who we will associate with or let our children associate with daily. These subtle, small things can tell you if that person is okay, great or unsuitable.

Until next time!

More by this author

Felipe Tognarelli

Entrepreneur, Wellness and Life Coach, Two Times Cancer Survivor and Best Seller Author.

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Last Updated on September 10, 2018

Overcoming The Pain Of A Breakup: 3 Suggestions Based On Science

Overcoming The Pain Of A Breakup: 3 Suggestions Based On Science

We thought that the expression ‘broken heart’ was just a metaphor, but science is telling us that it is not: breakups and rejections do cause physical pain. When a group of psychologists asked research participants to look at images of their ex-partners who broke up with them, researchers found that the same brain areas that are activated by physical pain are also activated by looking at images of ex-partners. Looking at images of our ex is a painful experience, literally.[1].

Given that the effect of rejections and breakups is the same as the effect of physical pain, scientists have speculated on whether the practices that reduce physical pain could be used to reduce the emotional pain that follows from breakups and rejections. In a study on whether painkillers reduce the emotional pain caused by a breakup, researchers found that painkillers did help. Individuals who took painkillers were better able to deal with their breakup. Tamar Cohen wrote that “A simple dose of paracetamol could help ease the pain of a broken heart.”[2]

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Just like painkillers can be used to ease the pain of a broken heart, other practices that ease physical pain can also be used to ease the pain of rejections and breakups. Three of these scientifically validated practices are presented in this article.

Looking at images of loved ones

While images of ex-partners stimulate the pain neuro-circuitry in our brain, images of loved ones activate a different circuitry. Looking at images of people who care about us increases the release of oxytocin in our body. Oxytocin, or the “cuddle hormone,” is the hormone that our body relies on to induce in us a soothing feeling of tranquility, even when we are under high stress and pain.

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In fact, oxytocin was found to have a crucial role as a mother is giving birth to her baby. Despite the extreme pain that a mother has to endure during delivery, the high level of oxytocin secreted by her body transforms pain into pleasure. Mariem Melainine notes that, “Oxytocin levels are usually at their peak during delivery, which promotes a sense of euphoria in the mother and helps her develop a stronger bond with her baby.”[3]

Whenever you feel tempted to look at images of your ex-partner, log into your Facebook page and start browsing images of your loved ones. As Eva Ritvo, M.D. notes, “Facebook fools our brain into believing that loved ones surround us, which historically was essential to our survival. The human brain, because it evolved thousands of years before photography, fails on many levels to recognize the difference between pictures and people”[4]

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Exercise

Endorphins are neurotransmitters that reduce our perception of pain. When our body is high on endorphins, painful sensations are kept outside of conscious awareness. It was found that exercise causes endorphins to be secreted in the brain and as a result produce a feeling of power, as psychologist Alex Korb noted in his book: “Exercise causes your brain to release endorphins, neurotransmitters that act on your neurons like opiates (such as morphine or Vicodin) by sending a neural signal to reduce pain and provide anxiety relief.”[5] By inhibiting pain from being transmitted to our brain, exercise acts as a powerful antidote to the pain caused by rejections and breakups.

Meditation

Jon Kabat Zinn, a doctor who pioneered the use of mindfulness meditation therapy for patients with chronic pain, has argued that it is not pain itself that is harmful to our mental health, rather, it is the way we react to pain. When we react to pain with irritation, frustration, and self-pity, more pain is generated, and we enter a never ending spiral of painful thoughts and sensations.

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In order to disrupt the domino effect caused by reacting to pain with pain, Kabat Zinn and other proponents of mindfulness meditation therapy have suggested reacting to pain through nonjudgmental contemplation and acceptance. By practicing meditation on a daily basis and getting used to the habit of paying attention to the sensations generated by our body (including the painful ones and by observing these sensations nonjudgmentally and with compassion) our brain develops the habit of reacting to pain with grace and patience.

When you find yourself thinking about a recent breakup or a recent rejection, close your eyes and pay attention to the sensations produced by your body. Take deep breaths and as you are feeling the sensations produced by your body, distance yourself from them, and observe them without judgment and with compassion. If your brain starts wandering and gets distracted, gently bring back your compassionate nonjudgmental attention to your body. Try to do this exercise for one minute and gradually increase its duration.

With consistent practice, nonjudgmental acceptance will become our default reaction to breakups, rejections, and other disappointments that we experience in life. Every rejection and every breakup teaches us great lessons about relationships and about ourselves.

Featured photo credit: condesign via pixabay.com

Reference

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