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Small Things That Will Tell You About A Person’s Personality

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Small Things That Will Tell You About A Person’s Personality

How do you evaluate a person? Is it the way they walk? The way they talk? Is it the big things, or the small things? Truth be told, there is always more to a person than what the first impression will convey. However, the first time you see someone, if you use these tips, you will be able to accurately determine what kind of person they are after the first few interactions.

Here is a list of small things that can give you insight into a person’s personality.

They are small because you really have to notice carefully in order to see them but you’ll be glad you did. This insight is especially necessary if the person is a prospective business partner, mate, friend or some other close associate.

How do they argue?

When disagreements with loved ones develop, do they attack the person or the problem? Positive individuals, ones you want to keep close, argue in order to solve a problem not to make the other person(s) look or feel bad.

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How often does this person’s emotion change?

Do they get angry over seemingly nothing? Ideally, a person who is able to control his or her emotions is the one you want to spend time with or have dealings with. This will tell you a lot about the person’s emotional stability.

How well do they handle rejection?

What response does the word “no” evoke? Does the person throw a tantrum like a child, believing he/she should have everything he/she wants? This will tell you how important the individual sees him or herself and how realistic he/she is. A realist and a person who attaches moderate importance to him/herself will remain calm as much as possible.

How fast does the person answer questions?

This can tell you whether this person is quiet or talkative – an introvert or an extrovert. It may also tell you how thoughtful a person is or maybe how self-conscious.

Is he/she a gossip?

Most times if he/she will gossip to you, he/she will have no qualms about gossiping about you. Bear in mind that there is good gossip and bad gossip so don’t be too quick to dismiss a gossiper. Focus on the content of the gossip. Is it true? Is it constructive? This will tell you how thoughtful the person is and if he/she is positive.

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How does he/she react to a change of plans?

So plans are not always set out the right way and may have to be changed – last minute even. How the person reacts will say if he or she is flexible or rigid. Either way, it isn’t a bad thing. You just need to decide which personality works best with yours.

Whose fault is it?

Are they good at handling blame? When it is their fault, do they admit or do they try to pin it on someone else? This will show how responsible and honest the person is and also what he/she thinks of him/self.

What is their attitude towards the less fortunate?

Listen to how the person talks about the less fortunate. Watch how they treat them as well. This will tell you how empathetic a person is and will reveal if the person is self-absorbed or if he/she genuinely cares about others. It takes a caring person to really feel for strangers who are disadvantaged.

Where do they live?

No, not their address; determine where their focus is. Notice if their conversations center on the past, present or future. You will determine if the person is regretful or nostalgic, you may even find a hint of sentimentality. On the other hand, the person may be a worrier. Still, others have their feet planted in the here and now. Again, you choose who you want to be like, because after hanging around with this person, you may very well adopt their outlook.

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Why do they hang around you, or any of their friends for that matter?

Ok, so this may be a bit painful especially if your dear friend is only hanging around so he/she can get the free rides to school/work. Notice if the person really enjoys others’ company or sticks around for what he/she can get.

Do they consider the feelings of others?

When making a decision do they take the feelings of others into consideration or is mainly about themselves? This can be an indication of whether a person cares about people and is considerate or is selfish and thinks only of him/herself.

Do their words often cause offense?

Linked to the point above, this will show just how selfish a person is. Otherwise, it may just be honesty and a lack of tact. Again, you get to choose which person you deal with.

How punctual is this person?

Notice the effort they put into being on time. This will show how respectful a person is or how defiant of authority they are.

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How do they carry themselves or keep their surroundings?

Are their clothes neat and clean? Is their room or car neat and clean? Often these indicate how organized a person is. The amount of clutter around them generally tells the amount of clutter in their minds. What is around them? That may indicate whether they are artsy, sporty or reserved.

What kind of aura does the person have?

When the person walks into a room, what effect does their presence have on others? Do the people in the room go quiet? Does their entry go unnoticed? Is the air tense or lighter and happier?

What are some of the small things that you look for? What could you have added to this list? What could you have removed from this list? All in all, we are faced with decisions about who we will associate with or let our children associate with daily. These subtle, small things can tell you if that person is okay, great or unsuitable.

Until next time!

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More by this author

Felipe Tognarelli

Entrepreneur, Wellness and Life Coach, Two Times Cancer Survivor and Best Seller Author.

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Published on November 23, 2020

How to Develop Big Picture Thinking And Think More Clearly

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How to Develop Big Picture Thinking And Think More Clearly

Your neighbors downstairs are playing loud music. Again. How do they not get tired of partying? And why do they choose songs with such a heavy downbeat that the glass in your cupboard is vibrating every two seconds? What can you do to get some peace that you deserve? What should you?

Human mind tends to go in circles whenever faced with a problem without a clear solution. It becomes easy to forget the big picture and get lost in anger and self-pity, wasting our precious time, energy and enthusiasm.

Would it not be nice if we always remembered to put things in perspective?

Would it not be more efficient to face all kinds of problems, from tiny annoyances to life-changing emergencies, with a calm demeanor, sharp focus and fearless determination to promptly take the most efficient action possible?

Alas, humans are not like that. All too often we let anxiety or greed get the best of us and make a rushed or shortsighted decision that we quickly come to regret. Other times, we spend weeks or months at an impasse, rehashing the exact same arguments, unable to accept the compromise required to move forward with any of the available options.

Buddhists talk about getting lost in the “small self.” In this state of mind, we literally forget the big picture and focus on the small one. We start taking our daily problems too personally and, paradoxically, becomes less capable of solving them in an efficient manner. And this is the opposite of big picture thinking.

Let me share with you a story related to big picture thinking…

In 1812, the French army of Napoleon Bonaparte invaded Russia.[1] After a decisive Battle of Borodino, the capture of Moscow and therefore Napoleon’s victory in the war seemed inevitable.

Unexpectedly, the Russian Commander-in-Chief Mikhail Kutuzov made a highly controversial decision of retreating and allowing the French to capture Moscow. Much of the population had been evacuated taking supplies with them. The city itself was set on fire and large parts of it burned into the ground.

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After waiting in vain for Russia to capitulate, Napoleon had to retreat in the middle of a bitterly cold winter. He won the battle but lost the war. The campaign ended in a disaster and the near destruction of the French army.

What can we learn from this historical lesson?

1. Focus on the Consequences

Napoleon focused on the important part: capturing Moscow. Nobody could accuse him of thinking small. Yet he overlooked that the Russian army could still fight even after giving up the country’s most important city.

So was Moscow not an important target after all?

Success expert Brian Tracy has a litmus test: things are important to the extent that they have important consequences. Things are unimportant to the extent that they have no important consequences.[2]

When faced with a choice, ask yourself, what would be the consequences of each option?

  • Want to spend an hour studying or watching the new series on Netflix? What would be the consequences of each option? Netflix can sometimes be a better choice, but it helps to put things in perspective.
  • Want to maintain your apartment by yourself or to pay a cleaning service? Would would be the consequences of each option?
  • Want to meet up for coffee with this acquaintance of yours or catch up on your work instead? What would be the consequences of each option?

The choice can be different for different people. An aspiring filmmaker may have a legitimate reason for choosing Netflix. Personally, cleaning your own apartment can be relaxing and nourishing even if the economics of hiring a cleaner looks compelling because you are earning a high hourly rate.

This is where you will need a basic idea of who you are — what are your goals, values and aspirations.

2. Flip Defeat Into Victory

Kutuzov managed to turn Russia’s defeat into a historic victory by recasting the problem in a wider context: losing Moscow need not mean losing the war.

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Despite the symbolic meaning attached to the Kremlin, the churches, the priceless treasures that had been stored in the city for centuries, the outcome of the campaign was ultimately determined by the strength of the remaining armies.

If you can adopt this result-oriented perspective, many of your personal defeats may be flipped into victories as well. Few events in a human life are absolutely good or absolutely bad, and it usually takes many years to recognize in retrospect, what role a particular encounter did play in your story.

Therefore we have every reason to look for the good in the things that happen to us.

This is a very practical attitude, far from baseless “positive thinking.” After all, if something unfortunate has happened to you and you find good sides in this circumstance, you will then be better positioned to take advantage of those good sides.

Say your noisy neighbors are affecting your productivity. What if it is a blessing in disguise? How can you turn this defeat into a victory?

  • Perhaps you are too serious about life and could learn how to have more fun. Join your neighbors or go out for a walk instead of working;
  • Perhaps you only wanted to be productive while instead procrastinated on social media. Now that your procrastination has been interrupted, stop and acknowledge this much greater obstacle to your productivity;
  • Perhaps you are too sensitive to interference. Take this opportunity to practice ignoring the noise and doing your best anyway;
  • Perhaps you have a victim mentality and the feeling of unfairness drains you more than any actual nuisance your neighbors might have caused. Try accepting this lapse in your productivity the way you would accept bad weather.

Get used to finding opportunities in your problems. This is the quintessential big picture thinking.

3. Ask for Advice

Both Napoleon and Kutuzov had trusted advisers to discuss their affairs with. In general, getting a different perspective — or several — can only help inform your understanding and lead to better decisions. Just ensure that the people giving you advice are competent in the particular area where experience is needed.

Paying money for advice can also be a wise investment. Lawyers, tax accountants, medical doctors spend years learning how to assist people like yourself in living more successful, more fulfilling lives.

A quick legal consultation can save you a fortune down the line or even keep you out of big trouble. A medical check-up can uncover potential issues and help keep you healthy and active for years to come.

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Even big, complex dilemmas at your job or in your romantic relationship can be tackled more effectively by partnering up with a coach or a therapist or, of course, with the help of a wise friend.

4. Beware of Biased Advice

Many imperfect decisions occur in response to an imperfect piece of advice that you choose to act on. This advice often comes from a biased party.

For example, we are often encouraged to buy something that we supposedly need:

  • Protect your skin from harmful UV rays by using a special lotion.
  • Fortify your health by taking multivitamins.
  • Connect with your friends by sending them elaborate gifts.
  • Brighten your weekend by consuming a delicious pastry.
  • Become more productive by getting a faster computer.

However, most purchases are unnecessary.

Some, such as the sunscreen, do have legitimate benefits when used properly.[3] Others, such as multivitamins, only make a difference for a small group of people.[4]

Advertisers of those benefits inevitably want to narrow your focus in order to overstate the importance of their product. They frequently present it as the only solution to your problem, whether real or imaginary.

After all,

  • Skin can also be protected from the sun by wearing appropriate clothing.
  • Health can be better fortified by consuming a balanced diet and getting regular exercise.
  • Spending time or talking on the phone with your friends is the foremost way of connecting with them, and it is virtually free.
  • Your weekend can be brightened by doing something that you love.
  • You can become more productive by focusing on the tasks that have the most important consequences. A faster computer can, in fact, decrease productivity by making it easier to multitask and by enabling your favorite distractions.

There are other sources of imperfect advice. Politicians also frequently want us to focus on a particular “big picture,” to the exclusion of the alternatives.

Even loving parents can be guilty of the same. They can advise their children to pick a career path that is safe and respectable, based on their “big picture” that in life one has to make a living. A child may disagree, however, based on another “big picture” that one’s life has to have meaning and fulfillment.

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Bottom Line

It is human nature to make rushed, emotional decisions based on incomplete information, then regret those decisions later on.

You can protect yourself from poor judgment by striving to attain the big picture when careful consideration is called for.

Focus on the consequences of your decision before considering how you feel about it.

Play with the cards you’ve been dealt, but look for opportunities in each situation and you will find them.

Ask knowledgeable mentors for advice, but beware of biased people who have an opinion, but do not necessarily have your best interest in mind.

Yet remember, true big picture thinking comes from hard-won experience. Legendary military commanders Napoleon Bonaparte and Mikhail Kutuzov were both injured on the battlefield.

Clear thinking comes from putting your big picture to the test of reality.

More Tips on Thinking Clearly

Featured photo credit: Haneen Krimly via unsplash.com

Reference

[1] Wikipedia: French invasion of Russia
[2] Brian Tracy: No Excuses!: The Power of Self-Discipline
[3] American Academy of Dermatology: Say Yes to Sun Protection
[4] Harvard Medical School: Do multivitamins make you healthier?

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