A day without communicating with others and meeting new people isn’t a day well spent.
But that’s not always the easiest thing to do if you’re shy by nature. You might be intimidated when in public because you get anxious, start thinking that others will judge you, fear being rejected, aren’t sure what to talk about, feel uncomfortable, or else.
Don’t worry. You can still take control of your bad communication skills and lack of self-esteem and turn them around. One of the best things about being human is that we have the ability to change, to improve, to built new qualities and learn any skill.
In this case, the goal is to start talking to strangers with ease. Let’s see how you can get there without too much stress and effort.
Fix your relationship with yourself first
Shyness is a result of not being confident in yourself, and there are often deeper reasons behind this. It’s worth taking the time to dig deeper and see where all this started.
Maybe your parents were too judgmental and you could never satisfy them. Maybe you never found something you’re good at that could give you the chance to show you’re capable of much more. Or maybe you don’t try new things because you’ve failed in the past. Whatever the case is, getting back to these memories tells your mind you shouldn’t do anything right now. It’s time to let go.
Leave behind anything from the past, as it’s the foundation of your shy self. Instead, realise this: we all have potential inside of us, waiting to be unleashed. But it takes some work and practice to start getting things done and let others notice that.
So, set some goals and take a step daily. Decide to give a new hobby a try. Learn something new. Take up a sport. Find out life hacks that will help you do things faster and better. Whatever it is that you do, it will give you the confidence that you can accomplish much more. And you’ll start building self-esteem and begin taking risks more often, even in social life.
Being action-oriented also means you’ll stop overthinking your weaknesses, will leave behind the doubts and insecurity. All that makes you stronger, more experienced, and more confident around other people. Once you go through this transformation – which doesn’t need to take long – you can show the world you’re not afraid to be in public, meet new people and show them how interesting of a person you are.
Leave the comfort zone
Your comfort zone is the bubble you live in, that feels safe and familiar, and which is hard to leave. It includes all the habits you’ve developed over the years and which you stick to, all the people from your past you’re used to being around, all the qualities you’ve always had, and the things you’ve always been doing.
But comfort is the enemy of progress, and that affects your social life quite negatively. Once you’re out of this comfort zone, you break free from the mediocrity and can start exploring, learning, socializing, and improving.
That can happen by doing things that don’t feel comfortable. And because we’re talking about getting better at approaching strangers, some things you can try on a daily basis are talking to one new person, asking a question, looking people on the street in the eyes, speaking up when you have something to say, spending more time around new people, etc.
Do one of these daily for a start. It might feel awkward and unpleasant, but that’s how you’re changing for the better. Repeat it the next day.
Soon, you’ll notice some changes in your behaviour. You won’t feel anxious in public, won’t feel weird when people look at you and won’t be afraid to look them in the eyes, you’ll always know what to say when asked a question, and will even have longer conversations with new people.
Slowly master the art of being a conversationalist
Once you’ve gone through the first 2 phases, you’ll be ready to try different things, find what works best for you, gain experience, and have fun at the same time.
For example, you can begin disagreeing with people and thus showing character. Eventually, you’ll find the balance between saying your honest opinion, but presenting it in a way that won’t make the other person feel bad. You’ll become more assertive too. You’ll show respect to anyone you’re talking to but won’t allow being deceived or controlled in any way.
Then, you’ll get creative with body language and your diction. The determination can be felt through the words you use, your tone and your posture. Once approaching the new person isn’t an issue anymore, you’ll experiment with all these too.
As for the topics, you’ll discuss with strangers, in the beginning, they will be more common ones that don’t require any knowledge or even opinion. But then you can bring up questions that concern you and be genuinely interested in what the another person has to say about this. This way, every new conversation will be a learning experience for you. As a result, you’ll become an interesting conversation partner and someone who’ll challenge others in exciting ways. You’ll learn how to open up to people once you’ve talked for a while, but also how to make them feel comfortable and start sharing.
After some time, expect to have the chance to actually form a friendship with anyone you have something in common with. You decide who you’ll spend time with for longer, but your circle of friends will definitely get bigger now that you’re more self-assured and know how to approach people with ease.
Your daily life will turn into a quest to meet new individuals, get to know them, brush up on your social skills, and have a good time.