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Want to Get Frisky? It’s Not Sexy in Every Language

Want to Get Frisky? It’s Not Sexy in Every Language

I guess you can say I have always been curious and it sometimes it gets the better of me. That may or may not result in something positive, but most often it will be comical. What can I say, I test my limits, have fun and dance like no one is watching. Is there any other way to live?

I went onto a foreign dating site to see if I could hook up with someone who might not understand me. Truth be told it was a dare. How could I resist? I was curious to see what they might write back. If they did. Who am I kidding? When you have been in the relationship business as long as I have, you know that one thing is certain. Men will always take the bait. One sexy picture and they literally turn into jellyfish.

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So, I am not one to mince words and decided that a short quirky phrase was the best approach to the language barrier.

I chose – Want to get frisky? Perfect. Short and sweet.

To see what happen I asked my friends and family to contribute any translated version they could offer in the languages that they speak. The typical responses of French, Italian and German were just not going to cut it. Boring.

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So, instead I went to Google translator and chose Swahili. Google sounded like a plan. The text came back from Siri and it read, “ Wanataka kupata Frisky?” What? Wanna Take a Cup at Frisky? I couldn’t help but laugh at the way it sounded in English. So, it began. My obsession with finding the funniest translations for this phrase. I no longer needed a date; this was occupying my time.

The results are in

Top marks go to Chichewa which sounds so dirty, there doesn’t need much explanation. Ndikufuna Kutenga Frisky? Mind if I come find you in Kentucky and get frisky. That works. What kind of language is Chichewa in the first place?

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Apparently, there are many languages I have never heard of. I guess taking a geography class instead of spending my time drinking on campus might have a better plan. I do not know about you but I am pretty sure that spending my time getting frisky with a translator says a lot about my dating habits.

But, really do translations get any kinkier than this?

  • Vle jwenn Semiyan? When do you want to see my van? Cool it down Luke. What kind of Creole is this?
  • Nais mo bang makakuha Frisky? No, I do not want to take part in a Fillipino gang bang. Scratch that one.
  • I think the Georgian language is cute and cuddly, but this might attract the wrong age group. გსურთ მიიღოთ Frisky?
  • Hawaiians do have a way with words. I am pretty sure I can “make love” happen. Makemake e loaa Frisky?
  • I am not sure if I am asking for a date or going for Margaritas? However, in Corsican I am down for either. Vogghiu marità Frisky?

An Irish girl, I thought I would find these easier to decipher. Wrong.  Visions of Donald Trump come to mind.  Wrong.

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  • Eisiau Frisky? I say, “Is you frisky?” sounds like Bugs Bunny is asking me out .
  • Want a fháil Frisky? This is Irish for what – fail?

Speaking of fail. I am not going to contact these food fetishists.

  • Szeretné, hogy Frisky? Scratch my Hogie? Um, No.
  • The Icelandic people should stop pulling on the pig all day. Langar þig til að fá frisky?
  • Major food fish fetish activities happening in Hausa. So samun kansa ilimi sakamako?

Just when I thought things could not get any worse, out came the real scary ones.

  • Batla ho Frisky? From a language called Sesotho, one can only assume the worst.
  • I know a little bit of French and I read between the lines of this Gaelic term. Queres recibir frisky? Where do I want to receive the frisky? Interesting but no.

I am already way over my head. Like the Indonesian say,“Ingin mendapatkan Frisky?” I better get packing before I do get frisked. Getting into the US is already a disaster.

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Madeline Foster

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Last Updated on September 17, 2018

7 Signs of an Unhappy Relationship That Makes You Feel Stuck

7 Signs of an Unhappy Relationship That Makes You Feel Stuck

Relationships are complicated and when you’re unhappy, it can be difficult to tell what’s causing it and what needs to change.

Sometimes it’s as easy as opening up to your partner about your problems, while other times it may be necessary to switch partners or roll solo to get your mind straight.

When you’re in the thick of things, it can be difficult to tell if you’re unhappy in your relationship or just unhappy in general (in which case, a relationship may be just the cure you need).

Here’re signs of an unhappy relationship that is possibly making you feel stuck:

1. You’re depressed about your home life.

No matter what you do in life, you’re going to have good and bad days. Your relationship is no different.

However, no matter what you’re going through at home, you have to feel comfortable in your own home.

If you constantly dread going home because your significant other is there, there’s a problem. Maybe it’s something you already know about, everyone has an argument or just needs some alone time.

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When that yearning to be alone becomes an insatiable obsession over the course of months and years, it’s time to realize you’re not the exception to the rule.

You’re unhappy in your relationship, and you need to take a look in the mirror and do whatever it takes to make yourself smile.

2. You aren’t comfortable being yourself.

Remember all those things you discovered about yourself when you first got together? The way your partner made you feel when you met that made you fall in love with him or her in the first place.

If they don’t make you feel that way anymore, it’s not the end of the world. If your partner makes you uncomfortable about being you, then her or she is only dragging you down. It’s up to you to decide how to handle that.

You need to be comfortable with who you are. This means being comfortable in your skin and with the way you walk, talk, look, breath, move, and all the other things that make you uniquely you.

If the person who supposedly loves you doesn’t make you feel good about yourself, know that you can do better. They’re not even one in a billion.

3. You can’t stop snooping.

Mutual trust is necessary in any relationship. The only way to get that trust is with respect.

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I can find you anywhere online, no matter how private and secure you think you are. The odds of you having a password I can’t crack are slim. If we’ve met in person, I could install a remote key logger on your device without even touching it.

Finding your information online hardly takes a clandestine organization. Any idiot with a Wi-Fi-enabled device can cyberstalk you. I’m just the only idiot in the village admitting it.

So now that we know everyone snoops, it’s time to address your personal habits. Governments snoop because they don’t trust us. If you’re snooping on your partner, it’s because you don’t trust them.

It’s ok to have doubts, and it’s perfectly normal to look into anything that looks weird, but keep in mind that data collection is only half of an investigation.

If you find yourself constantly snooping and questioning everything, clearly there’s a trust issue and the relationship likely needs to end.

4. You’re afraid of commitment.

If you’ve been dating longer than a year and you aren’t engaged, it’s never going to happen.

Commitment is important. People will come up with a million ways to describe why they can’t be committed.

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No matter who you are if you like it, you need to put a ring on it. Find an engagement ring, stick a gemstone in it and marry the person. If you’re not legally able to get married or you don’t believe in it for one reason or another, have a child (or adopt one, however you’re able to) or treat your partner’s family like your own. It’s a huge financial and mental commitment.

If you’re not ready for one or the other after some time, don’t waste anymore of your precious life on the relationship.

Your relationship should be something that propels you forward. If it’s not going anywhere, make it an open relationship and call it what it is—dating multiple people.

5. You imagine a happier life without your partner.

If all you’re doing is imagining a happier life without your partner, it’s a sign that you’re in the wrong relationship. You’re unhappy and you need to get out.

Your partner should be included in your dreams. There’s nothing wrong with wanting a future with someone.

Try to remember what you dreamed of before you got your heart broken by the realities of life, love and the pursuit of human success.

Remember when you would crush on that cute kid in class? You would secretly imagine marrying him or her and going on an adventure—that’s the way life should be.

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If you’re not at least imagining adventures together, then why are you in that relationship?

6. You resent, rather than love your partner.

When a relationship starts to crumble, you begin to resent your partner for all the things you once loved about him or her.

When you’ve reached this point, your partner has reached at least No. 2 on this list. From your partner’s perspective, your unhappiness with them is picked up as bashing them for being who they are.

If you’re both unhappy in the relationship, it’s better if it ends as quickly and painlessly as possible.

7. You chase past feelings.

It’s okay to reminisce about the past, but if all you do is wish things were like they used to be, it’s a sign you’re not on the right path.

You’re unhappy and, at the very least, you need to have an open dialogue about it. This isn’t necessarily a sign that the relationship should end, but it definitely needs a spark.

When you talk to your partner candidly about what it is you’re looking for, you never know how they’ll react. The risk alone is worth it, good or bad.

Final thoughts

If you’re feeling stuck in your current relationship, it’s time to reflect about it with your partner. Don’t ignore these signs of an unhappy relationship as they will slowly go worse and harm both you and your partner in long-term.

Featured photo credit: josh peterson via unsplash.com

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