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Want to Get Frisky? It’s Not Sexy in Every Language

Want to Get Frisky? It’s Not Sexy in Every Language

I guess you can say I have always been curious and it sometimes it gets the better of me. That may or may not result in something positive, but most often it will be comical. What can I say, I test my limits, have fun and dance like no one is watching. Is there any other way to live?

I went onto a foreign dating site to see if I could hook up with someone who might not understand me. Truth be told it was a dare. How could I resist? I was curious to see what they might write back. If they did. Who am I kidding? When you have been in the relationship business as long as I have, you know that one thing is certain. Men will always take the bait. One sexy picture and they literally turn into jellyfish.

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So, I am not one to mince words and decided that a short quirky phrase was the best approach to the language barrier.

I chose – Want to get frisky? Perfect. Short and sweet.

To see what happen I asked my friends and family to contribute any translated version they could offer in the languages that they speak. The typical responses of French, Italian and German were just not going to cut it. Boring.

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So, instead I went to Google translator and chose Swahili. Google sounded like a plan. The text came back from Siri and it read, “ Wanataka kupata Frisky?” What? Wanna Take a Cup at Frisky? I couldn’t help but laugh at the way it sounded in English. So, it began. My obsession with finding the funniest translations for this phrase. I no longer needed a date; this was occupying my time.

The results are in

Top marks go to Chichewa which sounds so dirty, there doesn’t need much explanation. Ndikufuna Kutenga Frisky? Mind if I come find you in Kentucky and get frisky. That works. What kind of language is Chichewa in the first place?

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Apparently, there are many languages I have never heard of. I guess taking a geography class instead of spending my time drinking on campus might have a better plan. I do not know about you but I am pretty sure that spending my time getting frisky with a translator says a lot about my dating habits.

But, really do translations get any kinkier than this?

  • Vle jwenn Semiyan? When do you want to see my van? Cool it down Luke. What kind of Creole is this?
  • Nais mo bang makakuha Frisky? No, I do not want to take part in a Fillipino gang bang. Scratch that one.
  • I think the Georgian language is cute and cuddly, but this might attract the wrong age group. გსურთ მიიღოთ Frisky?
  • Hawaiians do have a way with words. I am pretty sure I can “make love” happen. Makemake e loaa Frisky?
  • I am not sure if I am asking for a date or going for Margaritas? However, in Corsican I am down for either. Vogghiu marità Frisky?

An Irish girl, I thought I would find these easier to decipher. Wrong.  Visions of Donald Trump come to mind.  Wrong.

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  • Eisiau Frisky? I say, “Is you frisky?” sounds like Bugs Bunny is asking me out .
  • Want a fháil Frisky? This is Irish for what – fail?

Speaking of fail. I am not going to contact these food fetishists.

  • Szeretné, hogy Frisky? Scratch my Hogie? Um, No.
  • The Icelandic people should stop pulling on the pig all day. Langar þig til að fá frisky?
  • Major food fish fetish activities happening in Hausa. So samun kansa ilimi sakamako?

Just when I thought things could not get any worse, out came the real scary ones.

  • Batla ho Frisky? From a language called Sesotho, one can only assume the worst.
  • I know a little bit of French and I read between the lines of this Gaelic term. Queres recibir frisky? Where do I want to receive the frisky? Interesting but no.

I am already way over my head. Like the Indonesian say,“Ingin mendapatkan Frisky?” I better get packing before I do get frisked. Getting into the US is already a disaster.

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Madeline Foster

Free Lance Writer

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Last Updated on May 21, 2019

How to Communicate Effectively in Any Relationship

How to Communicate Effectively in Any Relationship

For all our social media bravado, we live in a society where communication is seen less as an art, and more as a perfunctory exercise. We spend so much time with people, yet we struggle with how to meaningfully communicate.

If you believe you have mastered effective communication, scan the list below and see whether you can see yourself in any of the examples:

Example 1

You are uncomfortable with a person’s actions or comments, and rather than telling the individual immediately, you sidestep the issue and attempt to move on as though the offending behavior or comment never happened.

You move on with the relationship and develop a pattern of not addressing challenging situations. Before long, the person with whom you are in relationship will say or do something that pushes you over the top and predictably, you explode or withdraw completely from the relationship.

In this example, hard-to-speak truths become never- expressed truths that turn into resentment and anger.

Example 2

You communicate from the head and without emotion. While what you communicate makes perfect sense to you, it comes across as cold because it lacks emotion.

People do not understand what motivates you to say what you say, and without sharing your feelings and emotions, others experience you as rude, cold or aggressive.

You will know this is a problem if people shy away from you, ignore your contributions in meetings or tell you your words hurt. You can also know you struggle in this area if you find yourself constantly apologizing for things you have said.

Example 3

You have an issue with one person, but you communicate your problem to an entirely different person.

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The person in whom you confide lacks the authority to resolve the matter troubling you, and while you have vented and expressed frustration, the underlying challenge is unresolved.

Example 4

You grew up in a family with destructive communication habits and those habits play out in your current relationships.

Because you have never stopped to ask why you communicate the way you do and whether your communication style still works, you may lack understanding of how your words impact others and how to implement positive change.

If you find yourself in any of the situations described above, this article is for you.

Communication can build or decimate worlds and it is important we get it right. Regardless of your professional aspirations or personal goals, you can improve your communication skills if you:

  • Understand your own communication style
  • Tailor your style depending on the needs of the audience
  • Communicate with precision and care
  • Be mindful of your delivery, timing and messenger

1. Understand Your Communication Style

To communicate effectively, you must understand the communication legacy passed down from our parents, grandparents or caregivers. Each of us grew up with spoken and unspoken rules about communication.

In some families, direct communication is practiced and honored. In other families, family members are encouraged to shy away from difficult conversations. Some families appreciate open and frank dialogue and others do not. Other families practice silence about substantive matters, that is, they seldom or rarely broach difficult conversations at all.

Before you can appreciate the nuance required in communication, it helps to know the familial patterns you grew up with.

2. Learn Others Communication Styles

Communicating effectively requires you to take a step back, assess the intended recipient of your communication and think through how the individual prefers to be communicated with. Once you know this, you can tailor your message in a way that increases the likelihood of being heard. This also prevents you from assuming the way you communicate with one group is appropriate or right for all groups or people.

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If you are unsure how to determine the styles of the groups or persons with whom you are interacting, you can always ask them:

“How do you prefer to receive information?”

This approach requires listening, both to what the individuals say as well as what is unspoken. Virgin Group CEO Richard Branson noted that the best communicators are also great listeners.

To communicate effectively from relationship to relationship and situation to situation, you must understand the communication needs of others.

3. Exercise Precision and Care

A recent engagement underscored for me the importance of exercising care when communicating.

On a recent trip to Ohio, I decided to meet up with an old friend to go for a walk. As we strolled through the soccer park, my friend gently announced that he had something to talk about, he was upset with me. His introduction to the problem allowed me to mentally shift gears and prepare for the conversation.

Shortly after introducing the shift in conversation, my friend asked me why I didn’t invite him to the launch party for my business. He lives in Ohio and I live in the D.C. area.

I explained that the event snuck up on me, and I only started planning the invite list three weeks before the event. Due to the last-minute nature of the gathering, I opted to invite people in the DMV area versus my friends from outside the area – I didn’t want to be disrespectful by asking them to travel on such short notice.

I also noted that I didn’t want to be disappointed if he and others declined to come to the event. So I played it safe in terms of inviting people who were local.

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In the moment, I felt the conversation went very well. I also checked in with my friend a few days after our walk, affirmed my appreciation for his willingness to communicate his upset and our ability to work through it.

The way this conversation unfolded exemplified effective communication. My friend approached me with grace and vulnerability. He approached me with a level of curiosity that didn’t put me on my heels — I was able to really listen to what he was saying, apologize for how my decision impacted him and vow that going forward, I would always ask rather than making decisions for him and others.

Our relationship is intact, and I now have information that will help me become a better friend to him and others.

4. Be Mindful of Delivery, Timing and Messenger

Communicating effectively also requires thinking through the delivery of the message one intends to communicate as well as the appropriate time for the discussion.

In an Entrepreneur.com column, VIP Contributor Deep Patel, noted that persons interested in communicating well need to master the art of timing. Patel noted,[1]

“Great comedians, like all great communicators, are able to feel out their audience to determine when to move on to a new topic or when to reiterate an idea.”

Communicating effectively also requires thoughtfulness about the messenger. A person prone to dramatic, angry outbursts should never be called upon to deliver constructive feedback, especially to people whom they do not know. The immediate aftermath of a mass shooting is not the ideal time to talk about the importance of the Second Amendment rights.

Like everyone else, I must work to ensure my communication is layered with precision and care.

It requires precision because words must be carefully tailored to the person with whom you are speaking.

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It requires intentionality because before one communicates, one should think about the audience and what the audience needs in order to hear your message the way you intended it to be communicated.

It requires active listening which is about hearing verbal and nonverbal messages.

Even though we may be right in what we say, how we say it could derail the impact of the message and the other parties’ ability to hear the message.

Communicating with care is also about saying things that the people in our life need to hear and doing so with love.

The Bottom Line

When I left the meeting with my dear friend, I wondered if I was replicating or modeling this level of openness and transparency in the rest of my relationships.

I was intrigued and appreciative. He’d clearly thought about what he wanted to say to me, picked the appropriate time to share his feedback and then delivered it with care. He hit the ball out of the park and I’m hopeful we all do the same.

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Featured photo credit: Kenan Buhic via unsplash.com

Reference

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