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How to Survive the Holidays.

How to Survive the Holidays.

The holidays are a time for joy, wonder, love, and cheer. They give us an opportunity to reconnect with family, laugh with friends, and can provide us with a rare respite from the humdrum of the day-to-day.

However, they can also give us those awkward moments that we wish we could forget, handle better, or avoid completely. Here, I will give you a few tips on how to survive the holidays.

Family

Loved Ones

It’s always exciting to see that family member that you haven’t seen in “forever”, the new additions to the family, and of course the elders in their twilight. It’s a truly a beautiful thing. You should be aware of everyone equally. Don’t play the priority game with the ones that you love. Be weary of favoritism – provide everyone with the warmth and affection that they deserve. Sure, you may miss a moment or two with your “bestie” but in turn gain moments of love with the people that you’d never expected to adore with all your heart. Life is short, so love everyone thusly.

Not So Loved Ones

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Everyone has a relatively torrid history. There may be a person or two in attendance that you may not be very fond of. Remember, it’s the holidays. That individual(s) has dealt with the separatism for long enough. Extend your heart to them. If they rebuke the gesture, it’s okay, but never underestimate the power of love pitted against repudiation.

Festivities

Host

It’s never easy hosting a party. The stress mounts, the bar raises, and everyone seems to be unappreciative. The trick here is to acknowledge that most of the attendants are simply happy to be invited. They’ve come because they trust in your abilities as a host -abilities that you’ve proven yourself capable of transcending. There is no need to worry or over-reach. They’re the ones whose job it is to impress you. Give it your best effort and the crowd will follow suit in their praise.

Attendee

Etiquette is the key ingredient to participating in a successful gathering. Mind your manners, dress according to code, and obey the same “unwritten rules” that you do every day. No one enjoys a show-off and everyone hates an isolate. Find your niche and use it to happily engage your fellow patrons. Use your strengths as a person to commit to the success of the event, not to its detriment. You’re an attendee – not a judge – so act accordingly. Complimenting the host is not required (though it is highly encouraged).

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Interaction

Social

If you’re a social butterfly, then you are allowed to fly free (but not without some assistance). It’s never okay to gossip, mock, or “stir the pot”. If you’re bored, find someone interesting, talk to them. Chances are that they’re bored as well. Just don’t do anything regretful. Gatherings can tend to bring out the worst in people, so this is not the time to give an expose’. Use your powers for good! Connect the room. Whether you’re loud, angry, miserable or frustrated, these people love you. Find a way to bridge that gap and love them back – with the best of you.

Non-Social

You’ll be seen as the outcast – but this is a positive. This is your chance to break out of the rut. For {insert reason here} you feel as if you don’t connect with the people that you’re “forced” to see. But you have to understand that the tables of reality are turned.  Here, they wish to see you. The holidays are a happy time. Your goal is to show them what makes you happy and what makes them smile. Your connection with them could last a lifetime.

Conversation

Talker

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“Shut Up!”

Non-Talker

“Speak Up!”

Company

Big Family

The joy is simply having the company that you never knew you had. Embrace the people that you may never see again. It’s the little things in life that count. Some people are seasons – endure the weather and find its beauty.

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No Family

Enjoy the solitude that offers you an unrelenting peace. Endure what ails you and respect the things that you’ve chosen to love. This is your time to reflect, improve, and change the world. Every day is your opportunity. Grasp it with a passion that undeniably succeeds.

Happy Holidays!

Featured photo credit: Steve via flickr.com

More by this author

Antwan Crump

Novelist, blogger, essayist, podcaster.

What Happens When Ego Closes Our Mind but We Aren’t Aware of It The Hardest Part of Being a Minimalist That Most People Have Overlooked 5 Ways to Beat Procrastination How to Survive the Holidays. 5 Productive Ways to Multitask

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Last Updated on January 21, 2020

The Best Way to Create a Vision for the Life You Want

The Best Way to Create a Vision for the Life You Want

Creating a vision for your life might seem like a frivolous, fantastical waste of time, but it’s not: creating a compelling vision of the life you want is actually one of the most effective strategies for achieving the life of your dreams. Perhaps the best way to look at the concept of a life vision is as a compass to help guide you to take the best actions and make the right choices that help propel you toward your best life.

your vision of where or who you want to be is the greatest asset you have

    Why You Need a Vision

    Experts and life success stories support the idea that with a vision in mind, you are more likely to succeed far beyond what you could otherwise achieve without a clear vision. Think of crafting your life vision as mapping a path to your personal and professional dreams. Life satisfaction and personal happiness are within reach. The harsh reality is that if you don’t develop your own vision, you’ll allow other people and circumstances to direct the course of your life.

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    How to Create Your Life Vision

    Don’t expect a clear and well-defined vision overnight—envisioning your life and determining the course you will follow requires time, and reflection. You need to cultivate vision and perspective, and you also need to apply logic and planning for the practical application of your vision. Your best vision blossoms from your dreams, hopes, and aspirations. It will resonate with your values and ideals, and will generate energy and enthusiasm to help strengthen your commitment to explore the possibilities of your life.

    What Do You Want?

    The question sounds deceptively simple, but it’s often the most difficult to answer. Allowing yourself to explore your deepest desires can be very frightening. You may also not think you have the time to consider something as fanciful as what you want out of life, but it’s important to remind yourself that a life of fulfillment does not usually happen by chance, but by design.

    It’s helpful to ask some thought-provoking questions to help you discover the possibilities of what you want out of life. Consider every aspect of your life, personal and professional, tangible and intangible. Contemplate all the important areas, family and friends, career and success, health and quality of life, spiritual connection and personal growth, and don’t forget about fun and enjoyment.

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    Some tips to guide you:

    • Remember to ask why you want certain things
    • Think about what you want, not on what you don’t want.
    • Give yourself permission to dream.
    • Be creative. Consider ideas that you never thought possible.
    • Focus on your wishes, not what others expect of you.

    Some questions to start your exploration:

    • What really matters to you in life? Not what should matter, what does matter.
    • What would you like to have more of in your life?
    • Set aside money for a moment; what do you want in your career?
    • What are your secret passions and dreams?
    • What would bring more joy and happiness into your life?
    • What do you want your relationships to be like?
    • What qualities would you like to develop?
    • What are your values? What issues do you care about?
    • What are your talents? What’s special about you?
    • What would you most like to accomplish?
    • What would legacy would you like to leave behind?

    It may be helpful to write your thoughts down in a journal or creative vision board if you’re the creative type. Add your own questions, and ask others what they want out of life. Relax and make this exercise fun. You may want to set your answers aside for a while and come back to them later to see if any have changed or if you have anything to add.

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    What Would Your Best Life Look Like?

    Describe your ideal life in detail. Allow yourself to dream and imagine, and create a vivid picture. If you can’t visualize a picture, focus on how your best life would feel. If you find it difficult to envision your life 20 or 30 years from now, start with five years—even a few years into the future will give you a place to start. What you see may surprise you. Set aside preconceived notions. This is your chance to dream and fantasize.

    A few prompts to get you started:

    • What will you have accomplished already?
    • How will you feel about yourself?
    • What kind of people are in your life? How do you feel about them?
    • What does your ideal day look like?
    • Where are you? Where do you live? Think specifics, what city, state, or country, type of community, house or an apartment, style and atmosphere.
    • What would you be doing?
    • Are you with another person, a group of people, or are you by yourself?
    • How are you dressed?
    • What’s your state of mind? Happy or sad? Contented or frustrated?
    • What does your physical body look like? How do you feel about that?
    • Does your best life make you smile and make your heart sing? If it doesn’t, dig deeper, dream bigger.

    It’s important to focus on the result, or at least a way-point in your life. Don’t think about the process for getting there yet—that’s the next stepGive yourself permission to revisit this vision every day, even if only for a few minutes. Keep your vision alive and in the front of your mind.

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    Plan Backwards

    It may sound counter-intuitive to plan backwards rather than forwards, but when you’re planning your life from the end result, it’s often more useful to consider the last step and work your way back to the first. This is actually a valuable and practical strategy for making your vision a reality.

    • What’s the last thing that would’ve had to happen to achieve your best life?
    • What’s the most important choice you would’ve had to make?
    • What would you have needed to learn along the way?
    • What important actions would you have had to take?
    • What beliefs would you have needed to change?
    • What habits or behaviors would you have had to cultivate?
    • What type of support would you have had to enlist?
    • How long will it have taken you to realize your best life?
    • What steps or milestones would you have needed to reach along the way?

    Now it’s time to think about your first step, and the next step after that. Ponder the gap between where you are now and where you want to be in the future. It may seem impossible, but it’s quite achievable if you take it step-by-step.

    It’s important to revisit this vision from time to time. Don’t be surprised if your answers to the questions, your technicolor vision, and the resulting plans change. That can actually be a very good thing; as you change in unforeseeable ways, the best life you envision will change as well. For now, it’s important to use the process, create your vision, and take the first step towards making that vision a reality.

    Featured photo credit: Matt Noble via unsplash.com

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