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5 Simple Joys Of Life That Were Changed By The Smartphone

5 Simple Joys Of Life That Were Changed By The Smartphone

The first smartphone, as we know them today, was released in 2007 by Apple. Now, almost a decade later, we are tied to our smartphones. Especially millennials, who seem to be born for using smartphones. And it’s not just me who is saying this: studies also show it!

According to a survey released by Bank of America, 4 in 10 millennials confess they interact with their smartphone more than they interact with their own families. The survey concludes that millennials( aged between 18 to 34) interact with their smartphones more than anything else or anyone else ! Another report, this time by Experian, showed that 77% millennials own smartphones and spend more than 2 hours a day using them. This is more than any other age group and reveals a significant change in millennial’s behavior.

As half of all millennials say they couldn’t live without their smartphones (according to a Pew Research Center survey), I made an effort to remember how was my own life before the smartphone entered it.

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And YES, there was a life before the smartphone, as older millennials, who know the “joy” of owning a Nokia phone and the struggle of catching a couple of hours of decent Internet speed on the dial-up, will remember.

Back in those times, technology was not that easy and we lived our lives AFK and away from (smart)phones. While the millennials are connected to the news and the Internet, they are disconnected from life and I have found 5 simple situations to prove my point. Here are some pure joys of life that were completely changed by the invention of the smartphone.

1. Having a meal

Since the humanity managed to craft a table and put some food on it, the eating time was also talking time. Since the arrival of smartphones, most people now eat mindlessly, swiping and texting on their devices. There are no more interesting talks carried out on the table, as everyone is trying to connect to the strongest WiFi.

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2. Driving a car

What are people doing the second after they stop at the red light? They browse their smartphone, looking to unlock the iPhone 7 or get a glimpse of the latest joke online. This is the case for drivers, but the car passengers are browsing their smartphones the entire ride.

Before we had the Wi-Fi at our fingertips we used to chat in our cars. Back then cars were never silent, as we used to joke, talk and sing for the entire ride. We used to communicate, as well as, admire the scenery.

3. Watching TV

Few people are aware of the fact we now consume media via 3 different channels, at the same time: we watch TV, we play a game on the tablet and read the news on the smartphone. The TV time is now multitasking time, which means we only drain our minds and eyes, instead of actually watching a movie or playing a game.

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4. Concerts and events

Social media is great for sharing personal experiences, but it has a strong negative influence on our lives, as it prevents us from actually experiencing life! When you attend a concert or an event, you will see how 90% of the audience is trying to record the moment, capture a photo or a video.

There is nothing wrong in shooting a couple of photographs, but recording the entire event and sharing it, then texting to your friends, simply prevents you from actually attending the event! Recently, people had been asked not to bring their smartphones with them at concerts, in an attempt to prevent the “sea of smartphones” phenomenon and have people watch the show they’ve paid for.

5. Spending time with friends and family

When you hang out with your family or friends, the smartphone should be left aside. However, nowadays, everyone is interacting more with the mobile devices than with the persons around. The smartphone managed to intervene between couples, in their very bed!

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Parties are now much quieter than they used to be, as everyone is browsing social media or doing other things with their smartphones. This lack of face to face communication puts a toll on our lives, making it harder for us to actually communicate with other people.

Without the smartphone, many millennials feel they don’t have anything to talk about, which makes them socially awkward in the long run.

I certainly miss the times when my friends and I gathered around the table and chatted about everyone and everything. There were good times, which are not going to come back anytime soon.

Featured photo credit: Unsplash via unsplash.com

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Last Updated on July 10, 2020

How to Take Control of Your Life with Better Boundaries

How to Take Control of Your Life with Better Boundaries

We all have them—those hurtful, frustrating, offensive, manipulative people in our lives. No matter how hard we try to surround ourselves with positive and kind people, there will always be those who will disrespect, insult, berate, and misuse you if we allow them to.

We may, for a variety of reasons, not be able to avoid them, but we can determine how we interact with them and how we allow them to interact with us.

So, how to take control of your life and stop being pushed around?

Learning to set clear firm boundaries with the people in our lives at work and in our personal lives is the best way to protect ourselves from the negative effects of this kind of behavior.

What Boundaries Are (And What They’re Not)

Boundaries are limits

—they are not threats or ultimatums. Boundaries inform or teach. They are not a form of punishment.

Boundaries are firm lines—determined by you—which cannot be crossed by those around you. They are guidelines for how you will allow others to treat you and what kind of behaviors you will expect.

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Healthy personal boundaries help protect you from physical or emotional pain. You may also need to set firm boundaries at work to ensure you and your time are not disrespected. Don’t allow others to take advantage of your kindness and generosity.

Clear boundaries communicate to others that you demand respect and consideration—that you are willing to stand up for yourself and that you will not be a doormat for anyone. They are a “no trespassing” sign that makes it very clear when a line has been crossed and that there will be consequences for doing so.

Boundaries are not set with the intention of changing other people. They may change how people interact with you, but they are more about enforcing your needs than attempting to change the general behavior and attitude of others.

How to Establish Boundaries and Take Control of Your Life

Here are some ways that you can establish boundaries and take control of your life.

1. Self-Awareness Comes First

Before you can establish boundaries with others, you first need to understand what your needs are.

You are entitled to respect. You have the right to protect yourself from inappropriate or offensive behavior. Setting boundaries is a way of honoring your needs.

To set appropriate boundaries, you need to be clear about what healthy behaviors look like—what healthy relationships look like.

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You first have to become more aware of your feelings and honest with yourself about your expectations and what you feel is appropriate behavior:

  • Where do you need to establish better boundaries?
  • When do you feel disrespected?
  • When do you feel violated, frustrated, or angered by the behavior of others?
  • In what situations do you feel you are being mistreated or taken advantage of?
  • When do you want to be alone?
  • How much space do you need?

You need to honor your own needs and boundaries before you can expect others to honor them. This allows you to take control of your life.

2. Clear Communication Is Essential

Inform others clearly and directly what your expectations are. It is essential to have clear communication if you want others to respect your boundaries. Explain in an honest and respectful tone what you find offensive or unacceptable.

Many people simply aren’t aware that they are behaving inappropriately. They may never have been taught proper manners or consideration for others.

3. Be Specific but Don’t Blame

Taking a blaming or punishing attitude automatically puts people on the defensive. People will not listen when they feel attacked. It’s part of human nature.

That said, you do not need to overexplain or defend yourself. Boundaries are not open to compromise.

Sample language:

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  • “You may not…yell or raise your voice to me…”
  • “I need…to be treated with respect…”
  • “It’s not okay when…you take things from my desk without asking…”
  • “I won’t…do your work…cover for you anymore…”
  • “It’s not acceptable when…you ridicule or insult me…”
  • “I am uncomfortable when…you use offensive language”
  • “I will no longer be able to…lend you money…”

Being able to communicate these without sounding accusatory is essential if you want others to respect your boundaries so you can take control of your life.

4. Consequences Are Often Necessary

Determine what the appropriate consequences will be when boundaries are crossed. If it’s appropriate, be clear about those consequences upfront when communicating those boundaries to others.

Follow through. People won’t respect your boundaries if you don’t enforce them.

Standing our ground and forcing consequences doesn’t come easily to us. We want to be nice. We want people to like us, but we shouldn’t have to trade our self-respect to gain friends or to achieve success.

We may be tempted to let minor disrespect slide to avoid conflict, but as the familiar saying goes, “if you give people an inch, they’ll take a mile.”

It’s much easier to address offensive or inappropriate behavior now than to wait until that behavior has gotten completely out of hand.

It’s also important to remember that positive reinforcement is even more powerful than negative consequences. When people do alter the way they treat you, acknowledge it. Let people know that you notice and appreciate their efforts.

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Final Thoughts

Respect is always a valid reason for setting a boundary. Don’t defend yourself or your needs. Boundaries are often necessary to protect your time, your space, and your feelings. And these are essential if you want to take control of your life.

Start with the easiest boundaries first. Setting boundaries is a skill that needs to be practiced. Enlist support from others if necessary. Inform people immediately when they have crossed the line.

Don’t wait. Communicate politely and directly. Be clear about the consequences and follow them through.

The better you become at setting your own boundaries, the better you become at recognizing and respecting the boundaries of others.

Remember that establishing boundaries is your right. You are entitled to respect. You can’t control how other people behave, but you do have control over the way you allow people to treat you.

Learning to set boundaries is not always easy, but with time, it will become more comfortable. You may eventually find that boundaries become automatic and you no longer need to consciously set them.

They will simply become a natural extension of your self-respect.

Featured photo credit: Thomas Kelley via unsplash.com

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