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4 Ways To Make Your Home A “Sweet Home”

4 Ways To Make Your Home A “Sweet Home”

Growing up, if you can recall the taste of the wild berries in your home or the smell of your mom’s stew, bouncing on the stove. Do you remember digging in that delicious bowl of stew, with your parents and sibling fighting over the leftovers?

Can you recall the ambiance that brought all those emotions together? What makes a home a “sweet home”? What brings back the old sweet ambiance in our modern day homes? Our white walls and our marble tables give us the illusion of modernization, however, what gives you the comfort of being in that house with your parents and the pot of stew?

1. Watch The Stars From Your Bed

In our modern society, we either pay an extravagant amount of money to enjoy just one night being blanketed by the stars, we put the charges on our credit card or we hike for miles for a camping site. However, have you considered skylights?

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A skylight is where you will invest a little so you and your family can marvel at the beauty of nature from the comfort of your own home. Some prefer a traditional way of having a skylight, with wooden paneling and an exquisite Hogwarts style roof while others prefer a more modern take.

Anyways, families who have skylights are more likely to develop a healthy mindset, as well as a calmer ambiance. Recreating old family values becomes easier with the right accessories, doesn’t it?

2. Enjoy The Fall Weather From Your Own Gallery

Fall or autumn is one of the most amazing seasons of the year. Watching the golden leaves fall and carpet the ground beautifully can take one’s breath away. However, the one issue that comes with the beauty of fall is the unbearable cold and unpredictable weather.

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How do you enjoy this beautiful season without falling sick? Can you enjoy it from the comfort of your own home?

Surprisingly, having a conservatory at home has become a new trend. Where some model it to be a beautiful garden, others turn into a tiny office or family room. Having tea or working in the midst of a beautiful scenery allows the mind to function better and the soul to feel lighter.

In the modern world, aren’t we all seeking for some form of peace?

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3. Opt For Wood Instead Of Marble

Traveling across the world, I have personally noticed the houses that capture the beautiful ambiance of tradition and culture are usually the homes that use the elements of nature. Elements of nature such as soil bricks and wooden sticks may seem a cliche or not up to modernization, however, that’s what seems to keep the families happy and healthy.

Instead of using marbles and modeling tiles, one should opt for renewable wood. Having a wooden house doesn’t only keep your psychological health in balance but it also keeps the house well insulated without consuming electricity.

If you’re looking for a way to have an eco-friendly yet modern home, then why not opt for a more natural form of a building. Some types of wood are known to last for decades, why not make your home one of the strongest built in this decade.

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4. You Can Never Go Wrong With Choosing Earthly Colors

The final element of any house is the color of the house. The color of each space and what it represents. Color can create different illusions from widening the space to making it calm and cozy. The right color is what guarantees the character and personality of the house.

The bright colors are the ones usually least selected. Earthly colors such as brown, blue, white and green bring on different meanings to the ambiance as well as the persona of the house. Combining colors the right way in the right space will create a zen space for you and your family.

A family that’s healthy emotionally will ensure its longevity and calmness despite the circumstances. Why not create this opportunity for you and your family?

In Conclusion

Your house is your sanctuary, so wouldn’t it be a good idea to incorporate the old heritage into a new style of living. Even in the world of modernization, we needn’t be constricted to the typical design of how our homes should look like.

So why not get wild and creative?

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Last Updated on July 15, 2020

How to Let Go of Toxic People in Your Life

How to Let Go of Toxic People in Your Life

“Entitlement is an expression of conditional love. Nobody is ever entitled to your love. You always have a right to protect your mental, emotional, and physical well-being by removing yourself from toxic people and circumstances.” -Dr. Janice Anderson & Kiersten Anderson

It’s not always obvious if you have someone toxic in your life. A toxic relationship is one that is harmful to you. A toxic person can create distress to the degree you feel inadequate and isolated. So, what makes a toxic person?

A toxic person has toxic behavior, meaning it’s not that the whole person is toxic[1]. It’s what they do that counts. Most toxic people run from accountability and misrepresent reality to you. They misrepresent your worth and your ability to heal from them can be stifled the longer you keep them in your life. You have a role to play with it as well; if your values are dismissed by them and you don’t act on it, you have allowed room for toxicity to grow.

When you are in a toxic relationship, you feel less than. You feel as though you are not worth anyone’s time or effort. You feel unheard, and sometimes you feel unsafe. You don’t feel good about yourself in a toxic relationship, whether it be with a partner, friend, or family member.

You may stay in a toxic relationship for a number of reasons. You may believe yourself to be a burden, have a lack of boundaries, resist change, fear conflict, try to be a people pleaser, find yourself codependent, or are partially stuck in a pattern or unhealthy cycle of abuse.

Letting go of toxic people may not be easy. In order to do so, you have to know why or how they are toxic to you and read between the lines that they do not have your best interests in mind.

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Letting go of toxic people is hard because you are good and want to see the good in others. You think their apologies are authentic. You have trouble believing they are being dishonest. You don’t spend time healing from it. You get pulled back into the pain because you don’t want it to end. However, if you feel like something isn’t right, it probably isn’t right.

You should walk away from a toxic person because you need to preserve your peace. You need to feel like yourself again. And you need better support.

Letting go of toxic people can involve four major steps.

1. Recognize the Red Flags

Red flags are signs a person is being toxic. It’s when someone shows characteristics that you should feel caution about. It’s when you feel any level of dissatisfaction and distrust. Trust your gut. When you recognize red flags, you can evaluate whether a person is trying to manipulate you or not. This gives you some level of control over what you allow in your life. The earlier you detect these behaviors, the better off you will be.

Red flags can include:

  • They always put themselves first.
  • They point out imperfections and sabotage your self-esteem.
  • You may feel drained or used when you’re around them.
  • What you give isn’t reciprocated. They don’t return the goodness you provide as a friend.
  • They ignore your boundaries and get angry when you tell them “no.”
  • You catch them in half truths or outright lies when you confront them about anything.
  • You are the villain; they are the victim.
  • Second chances always lead to repeated patterns of behavior.
  • They may engage in abuse.

2. Set Boundaries

There are emotional boundaries that one can set, but there are also physical ones[2]. You can leave any time. Setting boundaries is also an important part of self-care.

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You shouldn’t walk on eggshells. Tell them how you feel. Are they respecting you, fulfilling your needs, and listening to you? If not, it’s time to set up a healthy emotional distance and start letting go of toxic people around you.

There are levels to this. You have your inner circle, which could include family, and then you have acquaintances and strangers. If a toxic person is in your inner circle, it’s time to pull back and put up some boundaries for them to follow. If they can’t hear you out, you can cut off the connection completely.

You can give second chances, but you have to be careful. If someone knows they can get away with something, they will do it again. If there’s any chance for the relationship, they have to know not to cross certain lines.

3. Invest in Yourself

You deserve to know you are worthwhile. Try to remember that things will get better and that anything is possible. How do you do so? Invest in yourself.

This means self care, goal setting, surrounding yourself with positive support, and feeling a sense of peace. Your greatest ambition should be to love yourself. Without self-love, letting go of toxic people will be difficult.

Every relationship is a risk, but if you know yourself and what you will allow, toxic people will have less of a hold over you. If you are a giver or people pleaser, you are most at risk to being in a one-sided relationship. You shouldn’t be punished for caring, but sometimes trust needs to be earned. If you have self-love, you are treating yourself the best way possible. You know that others need to meet your standards; otherwise, they don’t get to be a part of your life.

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It’s possible that you can love yourself and still not see the signs. It can be difficult for some to be aware that toxic people exist. However,, if you know how much you mean to others in your life and what you are worth, you will be less likely to take on a relationship that is harmful to you or repeat negative patterns. Self-love is how we get out of toxic relationships, but it’s also how they never begin.

4. Know When Forgiveness Is Possible

There are times a person will prove their worth to you. They may make a mistake that makes them seem like a horrible person. They may forget to be good to you because of their own issues. They may just have no example of what a healthy relationship looks like. They may have an inflated ego that really comes from insecurity. The list goes on.

If they apologize, that’s a start. Look at their actions. Are they changing for the better because they really want to change or just seeming to in order to manipulate you? A person may control others with their image or perceived personality, but if you see through them, you may be able to discern the degree to which they are willing to be there for you.

If they start to do the right thing, you may begin to trust them again. Don’t start forgiving them until time has passed and you are sure there is growth, even if they show vulnerability or remorse. You can give a second chance if they truly have an awakening. Otherwise, it’s best to get out. Don’t let them walk all over you; let them walk out the door.

If you do give a second change and they still refuse to change, you have every right to remove them and continue the process of letting go of toxic people. The moment you even want to leave may also be a good time to get out. You don’t have to compromise yourself in order to care for them.

Forgiveness is the release of resentment or anger[3]. Forgiveness doesn’t mean reconciliation. You have to go back to the same relationship or accept the same harmful behaviors from someone. You don’t have to let them back in. You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do.

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Remember, forgiveness is ultimately for you, not them. You don’t need that person in your life in order to forgive them, and if you give them a second chance, proceed with caution.

Final Thoughts

Recognize the red flags, set boundaries, invest in yourself, and know when forgiveness is possible. This is how you cope with a toxic person impacting your life. You have power in the direction of your life and the people who accompany you as you move forward. Use it.

If a person is worthwhile, they will prove themselves through their actions, not their words. If they cross certain lines that really harm you, you owe them nothing. You have every right to feel what you feel and to be upset. Honor your feelings and communicate them because it’ll only continue to keep happening if you don’t.

If this is happening to you, it’s time to put a stop to it. It’s time to take control. It’s time to live for yourself, not for what others say about you. It’s time to set your standards higher than they’ve ever been before. And most of all, it’s time to let go.

Resource reminder: A physically abusive relationship is ALWAYS toxic. There are resources for you. Always speak up.

If you are in such a cycle or domestic violence or abuse reach out for help. For example, there is The National Domestic Violence Hotline (https://www.thehotline.org/) which can be reached at 1−800−799−7233. There are other ways to get help if you simply ask for it. 

More Tips on Letting Go of Toxic People

Featured photo credit: Hannah Busing via unsplash.com

Reference

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