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The Best and Worst Feelings you Have in Your Late 20’s

The Best and Worst Feelings you Have in Your Late 20’s

If you are past your late 20’s, congratulations. You made it! If you have not yet passed it, you will make it. I have and it was not easy, but you will make it. This stage can have a lot of ups and downs, as well as lefts and rights. It can get complicated and confusing, but at the same time it can also be great.

The data science team from the happiness app, Happify has found that there was a sharp increase in stress levels of the members who joined their service in 2015 who were in their late 20’s and early 30’s.

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Here are some examples of the best and worst feelings that happen when you are in your late 20’s:

1. Best feeling: You’ve taken more control of your life compared to your early 20’s.

Your early to middle 20’s is when you probably started your first job after college. At this point, you have started earning your own money and paying off your debts. This continues into your late 20’s, and as the debts get lower and the job gets more stable, you are probably already saving up for that big travel adventure or for that big downpayment to buy your first house. At this point, you feel that you are in control.

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Worst feeling: You’re going to lose some control of your life soon, as family issues (especially if you’re going to have kids or your parents have health issues) very likely will come up.

However, at this point in your late 20’s when you feel that you are finally in control of your own life, other issues over which you have no control can arise. Examples of these are stress from parents’ health issues or having kids, and then having unexpected expenses arise due to these situations.

2. Best feeling: You are realizing your ambitions step by step.

When you are in your late 20’s and in a job that you really like, you suddenly find yourself being grateful that, unlike your new co-workers who are fresh out of school and struggling to find their “root” job and what they really want, you have already found yours. You do not need to prove yourself anymore to anyone because being in your late 20’s has made you a much more confident person than you were before. You feel that you are all set for life.

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Worst feeling: You feel that you don’t have much time.

However, there will be sleepless nights when you feel that you do not have enough time to enjoy your success. You feel that most of your time is spent building a great future, but when will all the hard work stop?

3. Best feeling: You find yourself much more mature than before.

You give yourself a pat on the back and think that this is the most mature that you have been in your whole life. You know yourself better and you have endured a lot of ups and downs and have come out of it shining like a star. You think that you rock and you do not care anymore what others think of you. You have become strong and confident.

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Worst feeling: You feel that your body has matured a lot, too.

Mentally you are feeling confident, but when you look at yourself in the mirror you suddenly notice that some wrinkles have set in. The 5-kilometer run that used to make you feel energetic is suddenly making you feel like you can’t breathe. You feel your body changing and this makes you feel vulnerable.

4. Best feeling: You already know what you want.

You know that you want to work for the company that you are working for now until retirement. You know that you want to live in the country that you are currently living in. You know that you will need to get married in a few years- or now. You are set. You know what you want.

Worst feeling: You don’t feel like settling/you can’t settle.

On the flip side of knowing what you want, you feel that you do not want to settle. You know that if you settle, you could get bored, or end up hating what you thought you had wanted. Maybe you are scared that you will make the wrong decision. Then you get stuck because you do not want to decide just yet.

Yes, being in your late 20’s is a hard and complicated stage in life. What you can do is to use all of the resources that are there to help you. Talk to your parents, close friends, seek counseling, or read self-help books. Most importantly, remind yourself that what you are going through is normal and that there are many out there who are experiencing the same things.

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Sarah Bonander

Writer, Human Resources Professional

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Last Updated on August 4, 2020

The Gentle Art of Saying No For a Less Stressful Life

The Gentle Art of Saying No For a Less Stressful Life

No!

It’s a simple fact that you can never be productive if you take on too many commitments — you simply spread yourself too thin and will not be able to get anything done, at least not well or on time.

But requests for your time are coming in all the time — through phone, email, IM or in person. To stay productive, and minimize stress, you have to learn the Gentle Art of Saying No — an art that many people have problems with.

What’s so hard about saying no? Well, to start with, it can hurt, anger or disappoint the person you’re saying “no” to, and that’s not usually a fun task. Second, if you hope to work with that person in the future, you’ll want to continue to have a good relationship with that person, and saying “no” in the wrong way can jeopardize that.

But it doesn’t have to be difficult or hard on your relationship. Here’s how to master the Gentle Art of Saying No:

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1. Value Your Time

Know your commitments, and how valuable your precious time is. Then, when someone asks you to dedicate some of your time to a new commitment, you’ll know that you simply cannot do it. And tell them that: “I just can’t right now … my plate is overloaded as it is.”

2. Know Your Priorities

Even if you do have some extra time (which for many of us is rare), is this new commitment really the way you want to spend that time?

For myself, I know that more commitments means less time with my wife and kids, who are more important to me than anything.

3. Practice Saying No

Practice makes perfect. Saying “no” as often as you can is a great way to get better at it and more comfortable with saying the word. And sometimes, repeating the word is the only way to get a message through to extremely persistent people. When they keep insisting, just keep saying no. Eventually, they’ll get the message.

4. Don’t Apologize

A common way to start out is “I’m sorry but …” as people think that it sounds more polite. While politeness is important, apologizing just makes it sound weaker. You need to be firm, and unapologetic about guarding your time.

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5. Stop Being Nice

Again, it’s important to be polite, but being nice by saying yes all the time only hurts you. When you make it easy for people to grab your time (or money), they will continue to do it. But if you erect a wall, they will look for easier targets.

Show them that your time is well guarded by being firm and turning down as many requests (that are not on your top priority list) as possible.

6. Say No to Your Boss

Sometimes we feel that we have to say yes to our boss — they’re our boss, right? And if we say “no,” then we look like we can’t handle the work — at least, that’s the common reasoning.

But in fact, it’s the opposite — explain to your boss that by taking on too many commitments, you are weakening your productivity and jeopardizing your existing commitments. If your boss insists that you take on the project, go over your project or task list and ask him/her to re-prioritize, explaining that there’s only so much you can take on at one time.

7. Pre-Empting

It’s often much easier to pre-empt requests than to say “no” to them after the request has been made. If you know that requests are likely to be made, perhaps in a meeting, just say to everyone as soon as you come into the meeting,

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“Look guys, just to let you know, my week is booked full with some urgent projects and I won’t be able to take on any new requests.”

8. Get Back to You

Instead of providing an answer then and there, it’s often better to tell the person you’ll give their request some thought and get back to them. This will allow you to give it some consideration, and check your commitments and priorities. Then, if you can’t take on the request, simply tell them:

“After giving this some thought, and checking my commitments, I won’t be able to accommodate the request at this time.”

At least you gave it some consideration.

9. Maybe Later

If this is an option that you’d like to keep open, instead of just shutting the door on the person, it’s often better to just say,

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“This sounds like an interesting opportunity, but I just don’t have the time at the moment. Perhaps you could check back with me in [give a time frame].”

Next time, when they check back with you, you might have some free time on your hands.

10. It’s Not You, It’s Me

This classic dating rejection can work in other situations. Don’t be insincere about it, though. Often, the person or project is a good one, but it’s just not right for you, at least not at this time.

Simply say so — you can compliment the idea, the project, the person, the organization … but say that it’s not the right fit, or it’s not what you’re looking for at this time. Only say this if it’s true — people can sense insincerity.

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Featured photo credit: Kyle Glenn via unsplash.com

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