Definition of “sophistirachet”:
1: a woman of highly-educated pedigree (academically, socially, and otherwise) and worldly breeding; fluent in various forms of public etiquette yet is equally knowledgeable of the latest strip club songs, updated on most prime-time ratchet cable programs and conversant in the tongue of hoochie mama.
The time has come when society has put some respeck (yes, I went Birdman on y’all) on who I am. I don’t know why it took so long to realize that it is possible to have a wall of degrees and still blast 21 Savage leaving the office. It’s called balance.
It can also be hard to find a podcast that suits our fancy. We want to take in all of this information, but still be able to yell “YAAAAASSSSSS” because we relate to the situation- a good mixture of who we are, but with the understanding of who we are becoming. Here are six podcasts that will GIVE.YOU.LIFE.
The Friend Zone
This is every Hood Hippy’s favorite crew: Fran (Hey Fran Hey), Assante, and Dustin. The three of them provide us with the perfect balance needed in life (and remind you of every person in your crew). Fran keeps us mellow and surrounded with good vibes, Assante gives us the tools for our own Ninja Kit, and Dustin keeps us in our petty ways. Covering topics such as imposter syndrome, Jackie Christi acting a fool on “Basketball Wives”, and even code-switching, you are sure to be entertained and captivated by the thought-provoking topics (and get your life together moments) because who in the hell wants a musty brain?
Myleik Teele is the CEO of Curlbox, and every ambitious millennial woman’s virtual mentor. In her podcast, she drops gems that every aspiring #bosschick yearns for. Let’s keep it real, Myleik doesn’t just tell us what we want to hear, but gives the reality check that we usually run from. Not rosy, but oh-so-necessary.
Everything that we think but don’t say, Kid Fury and Crissle do it for us- brutally honest and hella funny. They highlight greatness in #BlackExcellence, give advice to listeners with their messy situations (and chile they are MESSY) and end the show by reading the hell out of someone. Any show that will drop everything and talk about Beyonce, is good with me!
The Perfectly Imperfect Grind
Social media will make you think that everyone is #winning and you’re the only one struggling, failing, and drawing on your eyebrows wrong. Jasamine Hill of TheFearHurdler.com interviews African American millennials who are entrepreneurs or climbing the corporate ladder. Their stories show the good, the bad, and the ugly of the GRIND, and though you may feel alone, chile we have all been there. You will pull inspiration from their stories and even shout a couple times with Jasamine in the process.Advertising
Side Hustle Pro
To all my ladies on the grind trying to turn their side hustle into their full-time gig, THIS IS JUST FOR YOU! Nicaila Matthews talks with women who have made the jump, giving you the insight and inspiration to make the leap yourself! With guests such as Courtney Sanders, Tiffany “The Budgetnista”, Aliche, and Luvvie Ajayi, get your bag ready, because gems will fall out of the sky.
It’s a new podcast on the scene, but already creating a print for itself. Keiona discusses topics for all YMP (Young Melanated Professionals) from fitness to politics; you will not only be enlightened but entertained. You may not be from the low country of South Carolina but you will take pride in your roots!
Well there you have it: some choices to add to your rotation; now go GET.YOUR.LIFE.
Last Updated on September 17, 2018
7 Signs of an Unhappy Relationship That Makes You Feel Stuck
Relationships are complicated and when you’re unhappy, it can be difficult to tell what’s causing it and what needs to change.
Sometimes it’s as easy as opening up to your partner about your problems, while other times it may be necessary to switch partners or roll solo to get your mind straight.
When you’re in the thick of things, it can be difficult to tell if you’re unhappy in your relationship or just unhappy in general (in which case, a relationship may be just the cure you need).
Here’re signs of an unhappy relationship that is possibly making you feel stuck:
1. You’re depressed about your home life.
No matter what you do in life, you’re going to have good and bad days. Your relationship is no different.
However, no matter what you’re going through at home, you have to feel comfortable in your own home.
If you constantly dread going home because your significant other is there, there’s a problem. Maybe it’s something you already know about, everyone has an argument or just needs some alone time.
When that yearning to be alone becomes an insatiable obsession over the course of months and years, it’s time to realize you’re not the exception to the rule.
You’re unhappy in your relationship, and you need to take a look in the mirror and do whatever it takes to make yourself smile.
2. You aren’t comfortable being yourself.
Remember all those things you discovered about yourself when you first got together? The way your partner made you feel when you met that made you fall in love with him or her in the first place.
If they don’t make you feel that way anymore, it’s not the end of the world. If your partner makes you uncomfortable about being you, then her or she is only dragging you down. It’s up to you to decide how to handle that.
You need to be comfortable with who you are. This means being comfortable in your skin and with the way you walk, talk, look, breath, move, and all the other things that make you uniquely you.
If the person who supposedly loves you doesn’t make you feel good about yourself, know that you can do better. They’re not even one in a billion.
3. You can’t stop snooping.
Mutual trust is necessary in any relationship. The only way to get that trust is with respect.
I can find you anywhere online, no matter how private and secure you think you are. The odds of you having a password I can’t crack are slim. If we’ve met in person, I could install a remote key logger on your device without even touching it.
Finding your information online hardly takes a clandestine organization. Any idiot with a Wi-Fi-enabled device can cyberstalk you. I’m just the only idiot in the village admitting it.
So now that we know everyone snoops, it’s time to address your personal habits. Governments snoop because they don’t trust us. If you’re snooping on your partner, it’s because you don’t trust them.
It’s ok to have doubts, and it’s perfectly normal to look into anything that looks weird, but keep in mind that data collection is only half of an investigation.
If you find yourself constantly snooping and questioning everything, clearly there’s a trust issue and the relationship likely needs to end.
4. You’re afraid of commitment.
If you’ve been dating longer than a year and you aren’t engaged, it’s never going to happen.
Commitment is important. People will come up with a million ways to describe why they can’t be committed.
No matter who you are if you like it, you need to put a ring on it. Find an engagement ring, stick a gemstone in it and marry the person. If you’re not legally able to get married or you don’t believe in it for one reason or another, have a child (or adopt one, however you’re able to) or treat your partner’s family like your own. It’s a huge financial and mental commitment.
If you’re not ready for one or the other after some time, don’t waste anymore of your precious life on the relationship.
Your relationship should be something that propels you forward. If it’s not going anywhere, make it an open relationship and call it what it is—dating multiple people.
5. You imagine a happier life without your partner.
If all you’re doing is imagining a happier life without your partner, it’s a sign that you’re in the wrong relationship. You’re unhappy and you need to get out.
Your partner should be included in your dreams. There’s nothing wrong with wanting a future with someone.
Try to remember what you dreamed of before you got your heart broken by the realities of life, love and the pursuit of human success.
Remember when you would crush on that cute kid in class? You would secretly imagine marrying him or her and going on an adventure—that’s the way life should be.
If you’re not at least imagining adventures together, then why are you in that relationship?
6. You resent, rather than love your partner.
When a relationship starts to crumble, you begin to resent your partner for all the things you once loved about him or her.
When you’ve reached this point, your partner has reached at least No. 2 on this list. From your partner’s perspective, your unhappiness with them is picked up as bashing them for being who they are.
If you’re both unhappy in the relationship, it’s better if it ends as quickly and painlessly as possible.
7. You chase past feelings.
It’s okay to reminisce about the past, but if all you do is wish things were like they used to be, it’s a sign you’re not on the right path.
You’re unhappy and, at the very least, you need to have an open dialogue about it. This isn’t necessarily a sign that the relationship should end, but it definitely needs a spark.
When you talk to your partner candidly about what it is you’re looking for, you never know how they’ll react. The risk alone is worth it, good or bad.
If you’re feeling stuck in your current relationship, it’s time to reflect about it with your partner. Don’t ignore these signs of an unhappy relationship as they will slowly go worse and harm both you and your partner in long-term.
Featured photo credit: josh peterson via unsplash.com