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The Capable Man: 3 Important Lifestyle and Self-Improvement Tips

The Capable Man: 3 Important Lifestyle and Self-Improvement Tips

Have you ever thought about what makes a real alpha-male? We can all agree that a paycheck, a driver’s license and shaving each morning before work is among the most common things considered for a real man to do. But, this is only the tip of the iceberg. More than a daily routine, a real man needs to be capable.

A capable man is smart, adapts quickly, learns from his mistakes and keeps improving every day. A capable man is the one who solves problems.

These claims are all true, no question about that. Still, in real life, it is not easy to achieve all of that. Sometimes, men can be frightened, clumsy, insecure. It’s all good because we’re all humans, and we don’t need to follow the mainstream media’s demands of perfectionism to be real men.

But, we can get close.

We don’t need to have chiseled abs and perfect hair to win her attention. We don’t need money. All we need is confidence and some skills. No woman in the world doesn’t like to see a man operating a big, complicated machine and saves the day.

There are three specific areas you should concentrate on more; the way you behave, the way you look, and how you perform outdoors. Here’s how to be a real man:

1. Good manners

Few things can compete with a well-mannered man because there is no amount of money or beauty which can replace ill manners. When you meet someone, a firm handshake and look in the eye says a lot about you; that you are confident and looking forward to further talk.

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While talking, use basic courtesy phrases such as “Please” and “Thank You” to show your respect and politeness. Be polite to everybody, especially people who serve you. While communicating, keep your voice down and don’t use slang. Another important aspect of good manners is listening. Don’t interrupt other person’s talk – be patient to answer when it’s time.

Holding the coat and doors to your lady friend is the sign of your attention and care. Also, be careful about your overall politeness, meaning stay out of gossips, trivial subjects, and impolite jokes. In order to be a real man, you should pay attention to your behavior more, and be more polite cosmopolitan.

2. The way you look and represent yourself

the-way-you-look-and-represent-your-self

    “Suit does not make a man“, says the old proverb, but I can add „but it completes him“.

    A real man should always know how to dress properly for the occasion. Your clothes don’t have to be expensive; the way you wear them and how it fits you is much more important. Longer sleeves or smaller by one number is considered as a sin, and I tend to agree. A man in a well-maintained suit and nicely paired shoes shows a perfect image, so why not show to the world the best you have?

    Ties can be worn, of course, and it is even better if you know how to tie one. To be honest, it is not much of a big deal, and it will give you the much-needed confidence. One more important requirement: your clothes have to be tidy and perfectly clean. Which brings us to the next important thing:

    A real man knows to maintain and clean his clothes

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    washing-machine

      Probably the worst nightmare for the “Average Joe,” doing laundry is quite the undertaking. All the symbols, degrees, hieroglyphs, and codes are hard to understand. Where does the detergent go? Do I need bleach? What is this sign here? These are the very first thoughts when a man stands in front of his nemesis. But, steel yourself, you can figure this out.

      The basics are next: All the colored laundry needs to be washed at 30 or 40 degrees Celsius, and those ordinary white cotton shirts can go to 90. The number of rounds per second is also vital, because the faster the machine goes, the worse the wrinkles will be. Due to a high diversity of types of machines, I can point you to this guide which can help a lot, as it did to me.

      When talking about clothing and the way you look, another device which gives an average guy a nightmare is the flatiron. Ironing your shirt is quite stressful, because of all of the wrinkles, slow progress, and frustration. That is why you need to take a step back, and to start from the basics. Socks, old t-shirts and other simple and worn-out items will be an excellent practice.

      You need to take care of the temperature, so start with the minimum, and increase it slowly, so that you will see which one is the most efficient for certain textiles.

      An important part of a competent man’s looks is grooming

      beard

        A real man knows to groom well, and maintain a sleek look, no matter the style.

        In case that you have decided to follow this trend, you have to start from the basics. According to several studies, bearded men are, in fact, cleaner than their bare counterparts, but a certain level of hygiene is required. Beard can be seen as long hair, in terms of maintenance. Regular washing and even combing (if it is a longer one) are a must, so you must be ready for every to every other day maintaining.

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        As for the girls, the current fashion trend favors bearded men, but you must stay consistent to yourself. You are wearing a beard because you like it, not because others tell you to do so. To have a perfect beard all the time, you’ll need a fine grooming set.

        3. Be Capable Outdoors

        Outdoor activities can showcase a man’s capability and confidence the best. A real, capable man can handle situations and problems and operate many devices with skill. We’re talking about yard maintenance, house repairs, and technical stuff.

        As a capable man, you should know to operate these devices:

        Lawnmower

        lawn-mover

          Almost every man learns how to use lawn mower at the early age, so no big introduction is needed. The only thing which can vary is the type of the mower.

          Those man-powered are of the simplest type, you need just to push it around, and it will mow. More complicated are those powered by gas or electrical energy. These utilize rotating blades, which represent a potential danger because a pebble hit by this becomes an instant projectile. That is why you need to wear adequate shoes or boots.

          Leaf sweeper

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          leaf-sweaper

            Every autumn, the leaves falling from the trees threatens to make your backyard ugly. To avert this, you need to take out the leaf sweeper and start cleaning up.

            Raking the leaves is an old and outdated method, so why not utilizing one of those pushed-around ones? The process is relatively simple, and I’m sure you will figure it out without my help. Depending on the type of the sweeper, you’ll have to take care about the leaf container.

            Chainsaw

            chainsaw

              Is there anything more masculine than a lumberjack? Recent fashion is favoring men with beards, so if you are wearing one, let some swarf fly around, and hopefully, you will get that ruff look.

              Stay alerted, because injuries made by chainsaws can be life or limb threatening, so always wear safety goggles and gloves. In addition, be very careful about the “kickback effect.”

              Be a capable man. Win the day.

              Are you looking at how you perform in these three areas? If you improve them one at the time, you’ll become a more competent man. It won’t go unnoticed, I promise.

              Featured photo credit: republika.co.id via static.republika.co.id

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              Dejan Kvrgic

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              Last Updated on July 10, 2020

              How to Take Control of Your Life with Better Boundaries

              How to Take Control of Your Life with Better Boundaries

              We all have them—those hurtful, frustrating, offensive, manipulative people in our lives. No matter how hard we try to surround ourselves with positive and kind people, there will always be those who will disrespect, insult, berate, and misuse you if we allow them to.

              We may, for a variety of reasons, not be able to avoid them, but we can determine how we interact with them and how we allow them to interact with us.

              So, how to take control of your life and stop being pushed around?

              Learning to set clear firm boundaries with the people in our lives at work and in our personal lives is the best way to protect ourselves from the negative effects of this kind of behavior.

              What Boundaries Are (And What They’re Not)

              Boundaries are limits

              —they are not threats or ultimatums. Boundaries inform or teach. They are not a form of punishment.

              Boundaries are firm lines—determined by you—which cannot be crossed by those around you. They are guidelines for how you will allow others to treat you and what kind of behaviors you will expect.

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              Healthy personal boundaries help protect you from physical or emotional pain. You may also need to set firm boundaries at work to ensure you and your time are not disrespected. Don’t allow others to take advantage of your kindness and generosity.

              Clear boundaries communicate to others that you demand respect and consideration—that you are willing to stand up for yourself and that you will not be a doormat for anyone. They are a “no trespassing” sign that makes it very clear when a line has been crossed and that there will be consequences for doing so.

              Boundaries are not set with the intention of changing other people. They may change how people interact with you, but they are more about enforcing your needs than attempting to change the general behavior and attitude of others.

              How to Establish Boundaries and Take Control of Your Life

              Here are some ways that you can establish boundaries and take control of your life.

              1. Self-Awareness Comes First

              Before you can establish boundaries with others, you first need to understand what your needs are.

              You are entitled to respect. You have the right to protect yourself from inappropriate or offensive behavior. Setting boundaries is a way of honoring your needs.

              To set appropriate boundaries, you need to be clear about what healthy behaviors look like—what healthy relationships look like.

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              You first have to become more aware of your feelings and honest with yourself about your expectations and what you feel is appropriate behavior:

              • Where do you need to establish better boundaries?
              • When do you feel disrespected?
              • When do you feel violated, frustrated, or angered by the behavior of others?
              • In what situations do you feel you are being mistreated or taken advantage of?
              • When do you want to be alone?
              • How much space do you need?

              You need to honor your own needs and boundaries before you can expect others to honor them. This allows you to take control of your life.

              2. Clear Communication Is Essential

              Inform others clearly and directly what your expectations are. It is essential to have clear communication if you want others to respect your boundaries. Explain in an honest and respectful tone what you find offensive or unacceptable.

              Many people simply aren’t aware that they are behaving inappropriately. They may never have been taught proper manners or consideration for others.

              3. Be Specific but Don’t Blame

              Taking a blaming or punishing attitude automatically puts people on the defensive. People will not listen when they feel attacked. It’s part of human nature.

              That said, you do not need to overexplain or defend yourself. Boundaries are not open to compromise.

              Sample language:

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              • “You may not…yell or raise your voice to me…”
              • “I need…to be treated with respect…”
              • “It’s not okay when…you take things from my desk without asking…”
              • “I won’t…do your work…cover for you anymore…”
              • “It’s not acceptable when…you ridicule or insult me…”
              • “I am uncomfortable when…you use offensive language”
              • “I will no longer be able to…lend you money…”

              Being able to communicate these without sounding accusatory is essential if you want others to respect your boundaries so you can take control of your life.

              4. Consequences Are Often Necessary

              Determine what the appropriate consequences will be when boundaries are crossed. If it’s appropriate, be clear about those consequences upfront when communicating those boundaries to others.

              Follow through. People won’t respect your boundaries if you don’t enforce them.

              Standing our ground and forcing consequences doesn’t come easily to us. We want to be nice. We want people to like us, but we shouldn’t have to trade our self-respect to gain friends or to achieve success.

              We may be tempted to let minor disrespect slide to avoid conflict, but as the familiar saying goes, “if you give people an inch, they’ll take a mile.”

              It’s much easier to address offensive or inappropriate behavior now than to wait until that behavior has gotten completely out of hand.

              It’s also important to remember that positive reinforcement is even more powerful than negative consequences. When people do alter the way they treat you, acknowledge it. Let people know that you notice and appreciate their efforts.

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              Final Thoughts

              Respect is always a valid reason for setting a boundary. Don’t defend yourself or your needs. Boundaries are often necessary to protect your time, your space, and your feelings. And these are essential if you want to take control of your life.

              Start with the easiest boundaries first. Setting boundaries is a skill that needs to be practiced. Enlist support from others if necessary. Inform people immediately when they have crossed the line.

              Don’t wait. Communicate politely and directly. Be clear about the consequences and follow them through.

              The better you become at setting your own boundaries, the better you become at recognizing and respecting the boundaries of others.

              Remember that establishing boundaries is your right. You are entitled to respect. You can’t control how other people behave, but you do have control over the way you allow people to treat you.

              Learning to set boundaries is not always easy, but with time, it will become more comfortable. You may eventually find that boundaries become automatic and you no longer need to consciously set them.

              They will simply become a natural extension of your self-respect.

              Featured photo credit: Thomas Kelley via unsplash.com

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