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3 Reasons Why An Introvert And An Extrovert Can Make the Best Couple

3 Reasons Why An Introvert And An Extrovert Can Make the Best Couple

It’s always hard to find an exact match couple. It also depends on how you define a “perfect match”. Is it two people who are exactly like each other and romanticize over their similarities and commonalities? Or is it a union of opposites who have agreed to complement and honor each other?

In the case of introverts and extroverts, a lot of people hold the common misconception that they are quite different, and find it hard to picture an extrovert and introvert make a loving couple. For example, imagine a software programmer and a DJ (assuming the software programmer is an introvert ‘type’ and the DJ is an extroverted type). The initial gut reaction on the 2 to be a compatible couple is “NOWAY!”. But, you’d be quite surprised to see that it’s often their differences that can be very attractive to each of them.

Let’s explore why (and how) an introvert and an extrovert can make the best couple. Here are 3 reasons.

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1. They bring each other unprecedented experiences

It’s true. extroverts are almost always focused on the outside. Their attention is more on what’s visible to their eyes. They love their senses to be fully stimulated by the environment around them, and rarely look within themselves for energy. They live life from the ‘outside in’ which basically means they’ll see what happens around them and pursue what attracts them. Introverts, on the other hand, are ‘internally stimulated’. They like to understand the why behind what they see. They live life from the ‘inside out’ which means they try and manifest in the outside world what they know for themselves to be true from within.

Coming together as a couple, if the two agree to complement each other’s strengths, it can make a power combination. The introvert works on the deeper side of their pursuits, while the extrovert works on making it all look good and manages the outside relationships, the socializing, and the surface. Both are important qualities!

It’s like having a cake with the icing on it. The introvert is the cake, the extrovert is the icing. Without the icing, the cake looks bland, without the cake, the icing is pretty useless.

More importantly, the 2 can bring unique experiences to each other’s lives! The extrovert brings ‘extroverted experiences’ like adventure and going out more often to events & social gatherings. The introvert brings in ‘introverted experiences’ like meditating together, romantic one-on-one dinners and deep & intimate hugs. Quite a win-win!

2. They can learn a lot from each other

Introverts are energized by spending time with themselves. They prefer one-on-one conversations that are more meaningful and connects with their soul. Extroverts are energized by large crowds and are usually the life of the party. They’re not thinking too much about their words or actions but just go with the flow and enjoy the company of anyone and everyone they meet. They’re spontaneous and fun loving.

The introvert can encourage the extrovert to keep his/her energies in balance and to look within, while an extrovert can encourage an introvert to step outside their comfort zone and meet more people. By helping each other step outside their comfort zones in day-to-day life, they can become best friends and grow as individuals and as a couple. It can be a very fulfilling experience!

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3. They complement each other

Introverts derive deep insights from their sharp observation skills. They’re more truthful and can see things as they really are. Extroverts are more conversational and derive their insights from talking to other people. They also feel good when they shout out to the world and showcase their achievements and pump up the things they’re proud of.

An introvert can help the extrovert see new possibilities. With their truthful observations, they can open an extrovert’s eyes and mind to things they never saw before. On the other hand, an extrovert can help introverts with making new connections with new people, and also help them showcase some of their achievements. By helping introverts come in the limelight with a friendly and warm approach, extroverts can win the hearts of introverts quite easily.

The key thing to note is a mutual understanding through an honest dialogue between both the introvert and the extrovert. If they are honest with each other and accept each other’s strengths and weaknesses and try to fill the gaps in the relationship, they can be an unstoppable force together. Their needs and expectations are quite different, but if they get one another and remain loyal to each other, they can be a winning couple!

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Featured photo credit: Romantic Picture Ideas by Amy Finley via photography.lovetoknow.com

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Akshay Sachdeva

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Last Updated on September 18, 2020

13 Helping Points When Things Don’t Go Your Way

13 Helping Points When Things Don’t Go Your Way

For the original article by Celestine: 13 Helping Points When Things Don’t Go Your Way

“We all have problems. The way we solve them is what makes us different.” ~Unknown

“It’s not stress that kills us, it is our reaction to it.” – Hans Selye

Have you ever experienced moments when things just don’t go your way? For example, losing your keys, accidentally spilling your drink, waking up late, missing your buses/trains, forgetting to bring your things, and so on?

You’re not alone. All of us, myself included, experience times when things don’t go as we expect.

Here is my guide on how to deal with daily setbacks.

1. Take a step back and evaluate

When something bad happens, take a step back and evaluate the situation. Some questions to ask yourself:

  1. What is the problem?
  2. Are you the only person facing this problem in the world today?
  3. How does this problem look like at an individual level? A national level? On a global scale?
  4. What’s the worst possible thing that can happen to you as a result of this?
  5. How is it going to impact your life in the next 1 year? 5 years? 10 years?

Doing this exercise is not to undermine the problem or disclaiming responsibility, but to consider different perspectives, so you can adopt the best approach for it. Most problems we encounter daily may seem like huge issues when they crop up, but most, if not all, don’t have much impact in our life beyond that day.

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2. Vent if you have to, but don’t linger on the problem

If you feel very frustrated and need to let off some steam, go ahead and do that. Talk to a friend, complain, crib about it, or scream at the top of your lungs if it makes you happy.

At the same time, don’t get caught up with venting. While venting may temporarily relieve yourself, it’s not going to solve the problem ultimately. You don’t want to be an energy vampire.

Vent if there’s a need to, but do it for 15 to 20 minutes. Then move on.

3. Realize there are others out there facing this too

Even though the situation may be frustrating, you’re not alone. Remember there are almost 7 billion people in the world today, and chances are that other people have faced the same thing before too. Knowing it’s not just you helps you to get out of a self-victimizing mindset.

4. Process your thoughts/emotions

Process your thoughts/emotions with any of the four methods:

  1. Journal. Write your unhappiness in a private diary or in your blog. It doesn’t have to be formal at all – it can be a brain dump on rough paper or new word document. Delete after you are done.
  2. Audio taping. Record yourself as you talk out what’s on your mind. Tools include tape recorder, your PC (Audacity is a freeware for recording/editing audio) and your mobile (most mobiles today have audio recording functions). You can even use your voice mail for this. Just talking helps you to gain awareness of your emotions. After recording, play back and listen to what you said. You might find it quite revealing.
  3. Meditation. At its simplest form, meditation is just sitting/lying still and observing your reality as it is – including your thoughts and emotions. Some think that it involves some complex mambo-jumbo, but it doesn’t.
  4. Talking to someone. Talking about it with someone helps you work through the issue. It also gets you an alternate viewpoint and consider it from a different angle.

5. Acknowledge your thoughts

Don’t resist your thoughts, but acknowledge them. This includes both positive and negative thoughts.

By acknowledging, I mean recognizing these thoughts exist. So if say, you have a thought that says, “Wow, I’m so stupid!”, acknowledge that. If you have a thought that says, “I can’t believe this is happening to me again”, acknowledge that as well.

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Know that acknowledging the thoughts doesn’t mean you agree with them. It’s simply recognizing the existence of said thoughts so that you can stop resisting yourself and focus on the situation on hand.

6. Give yourself a break

If you’re very stressed out by the situation, and the problem is not time sensitive, then give yourself a break. Take a walk, listen to some music, watch a movie, or get some sleep. When you’re done, you should feel a lot more revitalized to deal with the situation.

7. Uncover what you’re really upset about

A lot of times, the anger we feel isn’t about the world. You may start off feeling angry at someone or something, but at the depth of it, it’s anger toward yourself.

Uncover the root of your anger. I have written a five part anger management series on how to permanently overcome anger.

After that, ask yourself: How can you improve the situation? Go to Step #9, where you define your actionable steps. Our anger comes from not having control on the situation. Sitting there and feeling infuriated is not going to change the situation. The more action we take, the more we will regain control over the situation, the better we will feel.

8. See this as an obstacle to be overcome

As Helen Keller once said,

“Character cannot be developed in ease and quiet. Only through experiences of trial and suffering can the soul be strengthened, vision cleared, ambition inspired and success achieved.”

Whatever you’re facing right now, see it as an obstacle to be overcome. In every worthy endeavor, there’ll always be countless obstacles that emerge along the way. These obstacles are what separate the people who make it, and those who don’t. If you’re able to push through and overcome them, you’ll emerge a stronger person than before. It’ll be harder for anything to get you down in the future.

9. Analyze the situation – Focus on actionable steps

In every setback, there are going to be things that can’t be reversed since they have already occurred. You want to focus on things that can still be changed (salvageable) vs. things that have already happened and can’t be changed. The only time the situation changes is when you take steps to improve it. Rather than cry over spilt milk, work through your situation:

  1. What’s the situation?
  2. What’s stressing you about this situation?
  3. What are the next steps that’ll help you resolve them?
  4. Take action on your next steps!

After you have identified your next steps, act on them. The key here is to focus on the actionable steps, not the inactionable steps. It’s about regaining control over the situation through direct action.

10. Identify how it occurred (so it won’t occur again next time)

A lot of times we react to our problems. The problem occurs, and we try to make the best out of what has happened within the context. While developing a healthy coping mechanism is important (which is what the other helping points are on), it’s also equally important, if not more, to understand how the problem arose. This way, you can work on preventing it from taking place next time, vs. dealing reactively with it.

Most of us probably think the problem is outside of our control, but reality is most of the times it’s fully preventable. It’s just a matter of how much responsibility you take over the problem.

For example, for someone who can’t get a cab for work in the morning, he/she may see the problem as a lack of cabs in the country, or bad luck. However, if you trace to the root of the problem, it’s probably more to do with (a) Having unrealistic expectations of the length of time to get a cab. He/she should budget more time for waiting for a cab next time. (b) Oversleeping, because he/she was too tired from working late the previous day. He/she should allocate enough time for rest next time. He/she should also pick up better time management skills, so as to finish work in lesser time.

11. Realize the situation can be a lot worse

No matter how bad the situation is, it can always be much worse. A plus point vs. negative point analysis will help you realize that.

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12. Do your best, but don’t kill yourself over it

No matter how bad your situation may seem, do your best, but don’t kill yourself over it. Life is too beautiful to worry so much over daily issues. Take a step back (#1), give yourself a break if you need to (#6), and do what you can within your means (#9). Everything else will unfold accordingly. Worrying too much about the outcome isn’t going to change things or make your life any better.

13. Pick out the learning points from the encounter

There’s something to learn from every encounter. What have you learned from this situation? What lessons have you taken away?

After you identify your learning points, think about how you’re going to apply them moving forward. With this, you’ve clearly gained something from this encounter. You’ve walked away a stronger, wiser, better person, with more life lessons to draw from in the future.

Get the manifesto version of this article: [Manifesto] What To Do When Things Don’t Go Your Way

Featured photo credit: Alice Donovan Rouse via unsplash.com

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