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3 Reasons Why An Introvert And An Extrovert Can Make the Best Couple

3 Reasons Why An Introvert And An Extrovert Can Make the Best Couple

It’s always hard to find an exact match couple. It also depends on how you define a “perfect match”. Is it two people who are exactly like each other and romanticize over their similarities and commonalities? Or is it a union of opposites who have agreed to complement and honor each other?

In the case of introverts and extroverts, a lot of people hold the common misconception that they are quite different, and find it hard to picture an extrovert and introvert make a loving couple. For example, imagine a software programmer and a DJ (assuming the software programmer is an introvert ‘type’ and the DJ is an extroverted type). The initial gut reaction on the 2 to be a compatible couple is “NOWAY!”. But, you’d be quite surprised to see that it’s often their differences that can be very attractive to each of them.

Let’s explore why (and how) an introvert and an extrovert can make the best couple. Here are 3 reasons.

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1. They bring each other unprecedented experiences

It’s true. extroverts are almost always focused on the outside. Their attention is more on what’s visible to their eyes. They love their senses to be fully stimulated by the environment around them, and rarely look within themselves for energy. They live life from the ‘outside in’ which basically means they’ll see what happens around them and pursue what attracts them. Introverts, on the other hand, are ‘internally stimulated’. They like to understand the why behind what they see. They live life from the ‘inside out’ which means they try and manifest in the outside world what they know for themselves to be true from within.

Coming together as a couple, if the two agree to complement each other’s strengths, it can make a power combination. The introvert works on the deeper side of their pursuits, while the extrovert works on making it all look good and manages the outside relationships, the socializing, and the surface. Both are important qualities!

It’s like having a cake with the icing on it. The introvert is the cake, the extrovert is the icing. Without the icing, the cake looks bland, without the cake, the icing is pretty useless.

More importantly, the 2 can bring unique experiences to each other’s lives! The extrovert brings ‘extroverted experiences’ like adventure and going out more often to events & social gatherings. The introvert brings in ‘introverted experiences’ like meditating together, romantic one-on-one dinners and deep & intimate hugs. Quite a win-win!

2. They can learn a lot from each other

Introverts are energized by spending time with themselves. They prefer one-on-one conversations that are more meaningful and connects with their soul. Extroverts are energized by large crowds and are usually the life of the party. They’re not thinking too much about their words or actions but just go with the flow and enjoy the company of anyone and everyone they meet. They’re spontaneous and fun loving.

The introvert can encourage the extrovert to keep his/her energies in balance and to look within, while an extrovert can encourage an introvert to step outside their comfort zone and meet more people. By helping each other step outside their comfort zones in day-to-day life, they can become best friends and grow as individuals and as a couple. It can be a very fulfilling experience!

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3. They complement each other

Introverts derive deep insights from their sharp observation skills. They’re more truthful and can see things as they really are. Extroverts are more conversational and derive their insights from talking to other people. They also feel good when they shout out to the world and showcase their achievements and pump up the things they’re proud of.

An introvert can help the extrovert see new possibilities. With their truthful observations, they can open an extrovert’s eyes and mind to things they never saw before. On the other hand, an extrovert can help introverts with making new connections with new people, and also help them showcase some of their achievements. By helping introverts come in the limelight with a friendly and warm approach, extroverts can win the hearts of introverts quite easily.

The key thing to note is a mutual understanding through an honest dialogue between both the introvert and the extrovert. If they are honest with each other and accept each other’s strengths and weaknesses and try to fill the gaps in the relationship, they can be an unstoppable force together. Their needs and expectations are quite different, but if they get one another and remain loyal to each other, they can be a winning couple!

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Featured photo credit: Romantic Picture Ideas by Amy Finley via photography.lovetoknow.com

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Akshay Sachdeva

Entrepreneur

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Last Updated on May 21, 2019

How to Communicate Effectively in Any Relationship

How to Communicate Effectively in Any Relationship

For all our social media bravado, we live in a society where communication is seen less as an art, and more as a perfunctory exercise. We spend so much time with people, yet we struggle with how to meaningfully communicate.

If you believe you have mastered effective communication, scan the list below and see whether you can see yourself in any of the examples:

Example 1

You are uncomfortable with a person’s actions or comments, and rather than telling the individual immediately, you sidestep the issue and attempt to move on as though the offending behavior or comment never happened.

You move on with the relationship and develop a pattern of not addressing challenging situations. Before long, the person with whom you are in relationship will say or do something that pushes you over the top and predictably, you explode or withdraw completely from the relationship.

In this example, hard-to-speak truths become never- expressed truths that turn into resentment and anger.

Example 2

You communicate from the head and without emotion. While what you communicate makes perfect sense to you, it comes across as cold because it lacks emotion.

People do not understand what motivates you to say what you say, and without sharing your feelings and emotions, others experience you as rude, cold or aggressive.

You will know this is a problem if people shy away from you, ignore your contributions in meetings or tell you your words hurt. You can also know you struggle in this area if you find yourself constantly apologizing for things you have said.

Example 3

You have an issue with one person, but you communicate your problem to an entirely different person.

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The person in whom you confide lacks the authority to resolve the matter troubling you, and while you have vented and expressed frustration, the underlying challenge is unresolved.

Example 4

You grew up in a family with destructive communication habits and those habits play out in your current relationships.

Because you have never stopped to ask why you communicate the way you do and whether your communication style still works, you may lack understanding of how your words impact others and how to implement positive change.

If you find yourself in any of the situations described above, this article is for you.

Communication can build or decimate worlds and it is important we get it right. Regardless of your professional aspirations or personal goals, you can improve your communication skills if you:

  • Understand your own communication style
  • Tailor your style depending on the needs of the audience
  • Communicate with precision and care
  • Be mindful of your delivery, timing and messenger

1. Understand Your Communication Style

To communicate effectively, you must understand the communication legacy passed down from our parents, grandparents or caregivers. Each of us grew up with spoken and unspoken rules about communication.

In some families, direct communication is practiced and honored. In other families, family members are encouraged to shy away from difficult conversations. Some families appreciate open and frank dialogue and others do not. Other families practice silence about substantive matters, that is, they seldom or rarely broach difficult conversations at all.

Before you can appreciate the nuance required in communication, it helps to know the familial patterns you grew up with.

2. Learn Others Communication Styles

Communicating effectively requires you to take a step back, assess the intended recipient of your communication and think through how the individual prefers to be communicated with. Once you know this, you can tailor your message in a way that increases the likelihood of being heard. This also prevents you from assuming the way you communicate with one group is appropriate or right for all groups or people.

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If you are unsure how to determine the styles of the groups or persons with whom you are interacting, you can always ask them:

“How do you prefer to receive information?”

This approach requires listening, both to what the individuals say as well as what is unspoken. Virgin Group CEO Richard Branson noted that the best communicators are also great listeners.

To communicate effectively from relationship to relationship and situation to situation, you must understand the communication needs of others.

3. Exercise Precision and Care

A recent engagement underscored for me the importance of exercising care when communicating.

On a recent trip to Ohio, I decided to meet up with an old friend to go for a walk. As we strolled through the soccer park, my friend gently announced that he had something to talk about, he was upset with me. His introduction to the problem allowed me to mentally shift gears and prepare for the conversation.

Shortly after introducing the shift in conversation, my friend asked me why I didn’t invite him to the launch party for my business. He lives in Ohio and I live in the D.C. area.

I explained that the event snuck up on me, and I only started planning the invite list three weeks before the event. Due to the last-minute nature of the gathering, I opted to invite people in the DMV area versus my friends from outside the area – I didn’t want to be disrespectful by asking them to travel on such short notice.

I also noted that I didn’t want to be disappointed if he and others declined to come to the event. So I played it safe in terms of inviting people who were local.

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In the moment, I felt the conversation went very well. I also checked in with my friend a few days after our walk, affirmed my appreciation for his willingness to communicate his upset and our ability to work through it.

The way this conversation unfolded exemplified effective communication. My friend approached me with grace and vulnerability. He approached me with a level of curiosity that didn’t put me on my heels — I was able to really listen to what he was saying, apologize for how my decision impacted him and vow that going forward, I would always ask rather than making decisions for him and others.

Our relationship is intact, and I now have information that will help me become a better friend to him and others.

4. Be Mindful of Delivery, Timing and Messenger

Communicating effectively also requires thinking through the delivery of the message one intends to communicate as well as the appropriate time for the discussion.

In an Entrepreneur.com column, VIP Contributor Deep Patel, noted that persons interested in communicating well need to master the art of timing. Patel noted,[1]

“Great comedians, like all great communicators, are able to feel out their audience to determine when to move on to a new topic or when to reiterate an idea.”

Communicating effectively also requires thoughtfulness about the messenger. A person prone to dramatic, angry outbursts should never be called upon to deliver constructive feedback, especially to people whom they do not know. The immediate aftermath of a mass shooting is not the ideal time to talk about the importance of the Second Amendment rights.

Like everyone else, I must work to ensure my communication is layered with precision and care.

It requires precision because words must be carefully tailored to the person with whom you are speaking.

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It requires intentionality because before one communicates, one should think about the audience and what the audience needs in order to hear your message the way you intended it to be communicated.

It requires active listening which is about hearing verbal and nonverbal messages.

Even though we may be right in what we say, how we say it could derail the impact of the message and the other parties’ ability to hear the message.

Communicating with care is also about saying things that the people in our life need to hear and doing so with love.

The Bottom Line

When I left the meeting with my dear friend, I wondered if I was replicating or modeling this level of openness and transparency in the rest of my relationships.

I was intrigued and appreciative. He’d clearly thought about what he wanted to say to me, picked the appropriate time to share his feedback and then delivered it with care. He hit the ball out of the park and I’m hopeful we all do the same.

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Featured photo credit: Kenan Buhic via unsplash.com

Reference

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