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5 Reasons Why I Decided to Build a Vlog Instead of Building a Life

5 Reasons Why I Decided to Build a Vlog Instead of Building a Life

If all goes well, I will be turning 30 next year. By normal social standards I will officially be in the age when people get married, reproduce or at least try desperately, and take on a mortgage to tie themselves to one place. When it comes to me, I ticked one of the above boxes. I got married to my best friend (no, literally). The one person who enjoys our wonderful weirdness and accepts me for who I really am. Other than that, I accomplished nothing.

Zero.

Nada.

No children, no savings, no capital, no real estate. I have a fair job and live in a rented house with a bunch of cats and the husband. Oh, and two cleaning robots. I dread to become one of those ‘’adulescents’’ (20+ adults living in their parent’s basements) who Professor Frank Furedi, a sociologist who has been studying this phenomenon, at the University of Kent once described in his statement as:

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“Our society is full of lost boys and girls hanging out at the edge of adulthood.”

The lost boys – and girls.

These ‘’adulescents’’ are generally defined as young people who are closing on or even passed 30 but refuse to settle down and make commitments, and would rather go on partying into middle age. While I really don’t feel like this is me, I have to admit I have nothing to show for proving the opposite. Even now, when I can count for potential savings at the end of each month. So much so, that we (as in Husband and moi) are slowly getting to the point where we can and should decide what we put our savings into. And that’s when all the scary questions pop up!

Do I start planning my adult life according to the written and unwritten social norms? Should we buy a house and settle in? Do we want children? How many? Where do we actually want to spend the rest of our lives? Do I see myself getting old here? Do I even see myself getting old?

There is so much push from society, mainly through the media. It’s overwhelming. All those ads about the best mortgage, the family car (with 0% down), the best ovulation predictor. Social media makes it even worse. All your friends are posting baby pictures, have move-in parties or complain on forums how pathetic all those other people are. It makes me feel like every second spent on not deciding is wasted. I will become the other people. The childless. The aimless. The houseless.

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After all, we women have a certain number of eggs, right? When it’s gone, it’s gone. A mortgage takes about 25 years to pay off. Will I even live that long? Time is ticking. It’s like I don’t have a purpose until I make the decision. This needed to stop before it drove me insane.

Do we need to decide?

The urge to decide, because we can decide. We have lots of choices. We are not limited to live in one country, we are not limited to one profession. Today we are living in a world where anyone can become pretty much anything. We don’t have to work towards pre-defined goals according to our class, gender or location. This gives us the widest palette of life goals and route choices. Actually, the decisions on whether to marry or not marry, start a family or not, travel or stay put, stick to your existing job or find a new one can make us overwhelmed, anxious and depressed. And this started happening to me, too. How did I shake it off?

I didn’t. But I took these steps to turn it around and this turned my life around completely, for the better. These are the reasons I went against modern day expectations and, well, started vlogging instead of starting a conventional, responsible adult life.

1. We travel.

lifewiththecats in Lanzarote
    in Lanzarote

    Last month me and my partner in crime (a.k.a. Husband) took all our savings and spent it on documenting our holiday. That’s right. We signed up for an expensive holiday, bought premium class plane tickets, bought the video gear and we left.

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    2. We keep learning.

    We learnt to use the new camera on the way out to our holiday and I learnt how to do the basics in a video editor in a hotel room. Since then, we learn with every new video we take. There is always something we don’t know how to do. We make mistakes. Every time a mistake is made we learn how to do it better next time.

    3. We made a commitment.

    To ourselves. We now spend our days gathering experiences. Instead of going straight home, we wander. Instead of saving for a car we are saving for a trip. Maybe we will see something vlog worthy, maybe we won’t, but whatever happens to us, stays with us. It becomes a part of us. It’s a shared memory to hold us together and to hold on to. So we scan events around us and we invest in new adventures. We go to places. We see something new one day after another. Our life has never been richer. Our bond has never been tighter.

    4. We have fun.

    And I think this is the most fun I’ve ever had. Also the steepest learning curve I ever had to deal with. It is really challenging and I keep making all the rookie mistakes but at the end of the day I feel accomplished. And feeling accomplished is fun. Sharing secret smiles is fun. Having inside jokes is fun. Thinking back being stuck in transit and skating through terminals, is fun.

    5. We dropped the anxiety of what’s next.

    This does not mean we don’t care, but since we have no assets there is a lot less to worry about. Also, once you decide to be this traveling-vlogging anti-adult, you set yourself up to be judged. Once you accept that, all that push coming from society won’t matter. Only what you really want to do, will. May that be travel, babies, overpriced shoes. It doesn’t matter, as long as it makes you happy, but you need to ask yourself the question if you are genuinely happy and you need to be honest. With yourself. This may be the hardest thing you ever need to do.

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    Lifewiththecats in Boston
      Boston

      As for us, instead of saving for a deposit for our forever home, we are, again, saving for a plane ticket. What will you do next?

      Featured photo credit: Anita Brayer from Lifewiththecats via lifewiththecats.com

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      Last Updated on November 18, 2020

      50 Habits of Highly Successful People You Should Learn

      50 Habits of Highly Successful People You Should Learn

      If you’re like me and really into self-development, you’ve probably read many of the thousands of self-help books out there on the market. But also like me, you probably find all the information a bit overwhelming.

      That’s why I wanted to do the self-less task of taking the most important, life-changing lessons I’ve drawn from these books and condensed them into 50 key points.

      Here’re 50 habits of successful people you should learn:

      1. Believe It to See It

      Our minds tend to focus on what’s happening around us and refuse to see what could happen. Only when you trust in what’s possible and dare to dream big, big things can happen for you.

      2. See Problems as a Wonderful Gift

      While others only see problems and give up, successful people use the problem as a lesson to find improvement in themselves or the task at hand.

      3. Keep Looking for Solutions

      Even if they’re knee-deep in problems, successful people will still put all of their focus on finding solutions.

      4. Remember It’s All About the Journey

      Successful people are conscious and methodical in creating their own success. They don’t sit around doing the bare minimum, hoping success finds them.

      5. Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway

      There’s so much fear on the road to success, but instead of letting that fear control and limit them, successful people do a good job of just forging ahead regardless.

      6. Always Ask Productive Questions

      It’s all about asking the right questions. Successful people make sure they are questions that will elicit information for a more productive, creative and positive mindset moving forward.

      7. Understand the Best Waste of Energy Is Complaining

      Successful people know that choosing to see the negative side of things will only create a useless and unproductive state.

      8. Don’t Play the Blame Game

      Taking responsibility for actions and outcomes is a form of empowerment that you can build your success upon. While the act of blaming others or outside circumstances takes this empowerment away from you.

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      9. Maximize Your Strengths

      Not every successful person is simply more talented than the rest, but they do use what they know they’re good at to achieve more successful results.

      10. Be in It to Win It

      Successful people are busy, productive and proactive. Instead of sitting around over-thinking and over-planning a great idea, they just take a step towards it no matter how small.

      11. Know That Success Attracts Success

      People who are successful surround themselves and seek out like-minded people. They understand the importance of being part of a team and forge win-win relationships.

      12. Actually Choose to Be Successful

      Dreaming big is a massive part of being successful even if your dream seems impossible. Ambition is a mindset that needs to be a daily conscious choice.

      13. Visualize, Visualize, Visualize!

      You’ve got to see your success in your mind’s eye even before it comes. Successful people clarify and get that certainty about what they want their reality to look like rather than being mere spectators of life.

      14. Be a One-Off Original

      Successful people look for what’s working and then create a unique spin on it. Imitating only regurgitates other people’s ideas with no originality.

      15. The Perfect Time to Act Is Now

      Waiting for the right time to act is basically procrastination wrapped up in an excuse. Successful people know there’s never a perfect time so they may as well just do it now.

      16. Keep Learning, Keep Growing

      Continuous learning is the key to a successful life. Whether it’s academic, being a student of life or actionable learning, it’s all about expanding your knowledge and personal development.

      17. Always Look on the Bright Side of Life

      Successful people have the knack for finding positive aspects in all people and circumstances no matter what.

      18. Having a Bad Day? Do It Anyway!

      We all have bad moods but it shouldn’t be an excuse to stop everything. Giving into a bad mood just stop-starts your life, slowing success way down.

      19. Sometimes Risky Business Is Needed

      Calculated risks are a must for success. It’s about weighing the pros and cons while moving forward with that element of trust.

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      20. Accept Challenge All the Time

      Dealing with problems head-on is a must to be successful. Successful people also face challenges in order to improve themselves.

      21. Make Your Own Luck

      In the mindset of a successful person, there’s no such thing as ‘luck’ or ‘fate’. They take control to actively and consciously create their own best life.

      22. Ignite Your Initiative

      While many people are reactive, successful people are proactive – taking action before they have to.

      23. Be the Master of Your Emotions

      Being effective at managing emotions is key on the road to success. That’s not to say successful people don’t feel like we all do, but they’re just not slaves to their emotions.

      24. Champion in Communication

      Consciously working on effective communication skills gets anyone closer to success.

      25. Plan Your Life Strategically

      Successful people’s lives aren’t a clumsy series of unplanned events and outcomes, they methodically work at turning their plans into a reality.

      26. Become Exceptional at What You Do

      To become exceptional, you typically have to do things that most won’t. To become successful, hard decisions need to be made and acting on them is crucial.

      27. Choose to Live Outside of Your Comfort Zone

      While many people are pleasure junkies and avoid pain and discomfort at all costs, successful people understand the value and benefits of working through the tough stuff that most would avoid.

      28. Live by Core Values

      Successful people firstly identify their core values and what’s important to them, then do their best to live a life that reflects these values.

      29. Realize Money Isn’t Everything

      Money and success are not interchangeable and the most successful people understand this. Putting money on a pedestal and equating it to success is a dangerous mindset to have. Success comes in many forms.

      30. Don’t Get Carried Away

      Successful people understand the importance of discipline and self-control and as a result they are happy to take the road less travelled.

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      31. Self-Worth Is Not Tied to Success

      Successful people are secure. They do not derive their self-worth from what they own, who they know, where they live or what they look like.

      32. Kindness Breeds Kindness (And Success)

      Generosity and kindness is a common trait among long-term successful people. It’s important to take pleasure in helping others achieve.

      33. More Humility, Less Arrogance

      Successful people are humble and happy to admit and apologize for mistakes. This is because they’re confident in their ability. They are happy to learn from others and happy to make others look good rather than seek their own personal glory.

      34. Change Opens New Doors

      People who are successful are adaptable and embrace change, while the majority are creatures of comfort and habit. They are comfortable with, and embrace, the new and the unfamiliar.

      35. Success Requires a Healthy Body

      It’s not just how you think, it’s about how you show up for success. Successful people understand the importance of being physically well, not for vain reasons but because being in tiptop condition creates a better personal life for success.

      36. Laziness Just Doesn’t Exist

      Successful people are never considered lazy. Yes, they can relax when they need to, but working hard is their game.

      37. Resilience by the Bucket Load

      When difficulty strikes, most would throw in the towel, but successful people are just warming up.

      38. Feedback Is Just Another Chance to Improve

      How people react to feedback determines their potential for success. Being open to constructive criticism and acting on it to improve is most seen in those who are successful.

      39. Your Vibe Attracts Your Tribe

      If people are hanging out with toxic and negative people, then they need to take a look at themselves. Successful people hang out with others who are positive and supportive.

      40. Can’t Control It? Forget It

      Successful people don’t invest time or emotional energy into things which they have no control of.

      41. Swim Against the Tide

      Successful people are not people-pleasers and they don’t need constant approval from others in order to move ahead.

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      42. Alone Time Is Valuable Time

      More self-worth means being more comfortable with your own company. Successful people are more happy and see the value in spending time alone.

      43. Self-Standard Is Higher Than Most

      Everyone has a choice to set high standards for themselves. Successful people do this, which in turn produces greater commitment, more momentum, a better work ethic and of course, better results.

      44. Failure Isn’t Rationalized

      While many use age, health, lack of time, ‘bad luck’, or lack of opportunity to explain away their failure, the key to success is finding a way to succeed despite facing these challenges.

      45. Down Time Is an Important Part of a Routine

      Having an off switch and taking time to do things that make them happy is a common trait of a successful person. Take a look at here The Importance of Scheduling Downtime.

      46. Career Isn’t Who You Are, It’s What You Do

      Successful people know their career isn’t their identity. They are multi-dimensional and don’t define themselves by their job.

      47. Be Interested in Only the Path of Resistance

      While most people look for the easiest way or the shortcut, successful people are more interested in the most effective way. They look for the course of action which will produce the best results over the long term.

      48. Follow Through

      Many spend their life starting things that they never finish, but successful people get the job done. Even when the excitement and the novelty has worn off they still follow through and finish.

      49. Invest in All Your Dimensions

      We’re not just physical and psychological beings, but emotional and spiritual creatures as well. Successful people consciously work at being healthy and productive on all levels.

      50. Put Your Money Where Your Mouth Is

      To obtain success, it’s important to practice what you preach. Successful people don’t talk about the theory, they live the reality.

      So there you have it, a summary of what I’ve learned from self-help books. But of course, you need to start taking actions so you will get closer to success too.

      Bonus: 5 Bad Habits To Quit

      More About Success

      Featured photo credit: Juan Jose via unsplash.com

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