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5 Reasons Why I Decided to Build a Vlog Instead of Building a Life

5 Reasons Why I Decided to Build a Vlog Instead of Building a Life

If all goes well, I will be turning 30 next year. By normal social standards I will officially be in the age when people get married, reproduce or at least try desperately, and take on a mortgage to tie themselves to one place. When it comes to me, I ticked one of the above boxes. I got married to my best friend (no, literally). The one person who enjoys our wonderful weirdness and accepts me for who I really am. Other than that, I accomplished nothing.

Zero.

Nada.

No children, no savings, no capital, no real estate. I have a fair job and live in a rented house with a bunch of cats and the husband. Oh, and two cleaning robots. I dread to become one of those ‘’adulescents’’ (20+ adults living in their parent’s basements) who Professor Frank Furedi, a sociologist who has been studying this phenomenon, at the University of Kent once described in his statement as:

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“Our society is full of lost boys and girls hanging out at the edge of adulthood.”

The lost boys – and girls.

These ‘’adulescents’’ are generally defined as young people who are closing on or even passed 30 but refuse to settle down and make commitments, and would rather go on partying into middle age. While I really don’t feel like this is me, I have to admit I have nothing to show for proving the opposite. Even now, when I can count for potential savings at the end of each month. So much so, that we (as in Husband and moi) are slowly getting to the point where we can and should decide what we put our savings into. And that’s when all the scary questions pop up!

Do I start planning my adult life according to the written and unwritten social norms? Should we buy a house and settle in? Do we want children? How many? Where do we actually want to spend the rest of our lives? Do I see myself getting old here? Do I even see myself getting old?

There is so much push from society, mainly through the media. It’s overwhelming. All those ads about the best mortgage, the family car (with 0% down), the best ovulation predictor. Social media makes it even worse. All your friends are posting baby pictures, have move-in parties or complain on forums how pathetic all those other people are. It makes me feel like every second spent on not deciding is wasted. I will become the other people. The childless. The aimless. The houseless.

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After all, we women have a certain number of eggs, right? When it’s gone, it’s gone. A mortgage takes about 25 years to pay off. Will I even live that long? Time is ticking. It’s like I don’t have a purpose until I make the decision. This needed to stop before it drove me insane.

Do we need to decide?

The urge to decide, because we can decide. We have lots of choices. We are not limited to live in one country, we are not limited to one profession. Today we are living in a world where anyone can become pretty much anything. We don’t have to work towards pre-defined goals according to our class, gender or location. This gives us the widest palette of life goals and route choices. Actually, the decisions on whether to marry or not marry, start a family or not, travel or stay put, stick to your existing job or find a new one can make us overwhelmed, anxious and depressed. And this started happening to me, too. How did I shake it off?

I didn’t. But I took these steps to turn it around and this turned my life around completely, for the better. These are the reasons I went against modern day expectations and, well, started vlogging instead of starting a conventional, responsible adult life.

1. We travel.

lifewiththecats in Lanzarote
    in Lanzarote

    Last month me and my partner in crime (a.k.a. Husband) took all our savings and spent it on documenting our holiday. That’s right. We signed up for an expensive holiday, bought premium class plane tickets, bought the video gear and we left.

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    2. We keep learning.

    We learnt to use the new camera on the way out to our holiday and I learnt how to do the basics in a video editor in a hotel room. Since then, we learn with every new video we take. There is always something we don’t know how to do. We make mistakes. Every time a mistake is made we learn how to do it better next time.

    3. We made a commitment.

    To ourselves. We now spend our days gathering experiences. Instead of going straight home, we wander. Instead of saving for a car we are saving for a trip. Maybe we will see something vlog worthy, maybe we won’t, but whatever happens to us, stays with us. It becomes a part of us. It’s a shared memory to hold us together and to hold on to. So we scan events around us and we invest in new adventures. We go to places. We see something new one day after another. Our life has never been richer. Our bond has never been tighter.

    4. We have fun.

    And I think this is the most fun I’ve ever had. Also the steepest learning curve I ever had to deal with. It is really challenging and I keep making all the rookie mistakes but at the end of the day I feel accomplished. And feeling accomplished is fun. Sharing secret smiles is fun. Having inside jokes is fun. Thinking back being stuck in transit and skating through terminals, is fun.

    5. We dropped the anxiety of what’s next.

    This does not mean we don’t care, but since we have no assets there is a lot less to worry about. Also, once you decide to be this traveling-vlogging anti-adult, you set yourself up to be judged. Once you accept that, all that push coming from society won’t matter. Only what you really want to do, will. May that be travel, babies, overpriced shoes. It doesn’t matter, as long as it makes you happy, but you need to ask yourself the question if you are genuinely happy and you need to be honest. With yourself. This may be the hardest thing you ever need to do.

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    Lifewiththecats in Boston
      Boston

      As for us, instead of saving for a deposit for our forever home, we are, again, saving for a plane ticket. What will you do next?

      Featured photo credit: Anita Brayer from Lifewiththecats via lifewiththecats.com

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      Last Updated on January 21, 2020

      The Best Way to Create a Vision for the Life You Want

      The Best Way to Create a Vision for the Life You Want

      Creating a vision for your life might seem like a frivolous, fantastical waste of time, but it’s not: creating a compelling vision of the life you want is actually one of the most effective strategies for achieving the life of your dreams. Perhaps the best way to look at the concept of a life vision is as a compass to help guide you to take the best actions and make the right choices that help propel you toward your best life.

      your vision of where or who you want to be is the greatest asset you have

        Why You Need a Vision

        Experts and life success stories support the idea that with a vision in mind, you are more likely to succeed far beyond what you could otherwise achieve without a clear vision. Think of crafting your life vision as mapping a path to your personal and professional dreams. Life satisfaction and personal happiness are within reach. The harsh reality is that if you don’t develop your own vision, you’ll allow other people and circumstances to direct the course of your life.

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        How to Create Your Life Vision

        Don’t expect a clear and well-defined vision overnight—envisioning your life and determining the course you will follow requires time, and reflection. You need to cultivate vision and perspective, and you also need to apply logic and planning for the practical application of your vision. Your best vision blossoms from your dreams, hopes, and aspirations. It will resonate with your values and ideals, and will generate energy and enthusiasm to help strengthen your commitment to explore the possibilities of your life.

        What Do You Want?

        The question sounds deceptively simple, but it’s often the most difficult to answer. Allowing yourself to explore your deepest desires can be very frightening. You may also not think you have the time to consider something as fanciful as what you want out of life, but it’s important to remind yourself that a life of fulfillment does not usually happen by chance, but by design.

        It’s helpful to ask some thought-provoking questions to help you discover the possibilities of what you want out of life. Consider every aspect of your life, personal and professional, tangible and intangible. Contemplate all the important areas, family and friends, career and success, health and quality of life, spiritual connection and personal growth, and don’t forget about fun and enjoyment.

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        Some tips to guide you:

        • Remember to ask why you want certain things
        • Think about what you want, not on what you don’t want.
        • Give yourself permission to dream.
        • Be creative. Consider ideas that you never thought possible.
        • Focus on your wishes, not what others expect of you.

        Some questions to start your exploration:

        • What really matters to you in life? Not what should matter, what does matter.
        • What would you like to have more of in your life?
        • Set aside money for a moment; what do you want in your career?
        • What are your secret passions and dreams?
        • What would bring more joy and happiness into your life?
        • What do you want your relationships to be like?
        • What qualities would you like to develop?
        • What are your values? What issues do you care about?
        • What are your talents? What’s special about you?
        • What would you most like to accomplish?
        • What would legacy would you like to leave behind?

        It may be helpful to write your thoughts down in a journal or creative vision board if you’re the creative type. Add your own questions, and ask others what they want out of life. Relax and make this exercise fun. You may want to set your answers aside for a while and come back to them later to see if any have changed or if you have anything to add.

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        What Would Your Best Life Look Like?

        Describe your ideal life in detail. Allow yourself to dream and imagine, and create a vivid picture. If you can’t visualize a picture, focus on how your best life would feel. If you find it difficult to envision your life 20 or 30 years from now, start with five years—even a few years into the future will give you a place to start. What you see may surprise you. Set aside preconceived notions. This is your chance to dream and fantasize.

        A few prompts to get you started:

        • What will you have accomplished already?
        • How will you feel about yourself?
        • What kind of people are in your life? How do you feel about them?
        • What does your ideal day look like?
        • Where are you? Where do you live? Think specifics, what city, state, or country, type of community, house or an apartment, style and atmosphere.
        • What would you be doing?
        • Are you with another person, a group of people, or are you by yourself?
        • How are you dressed?
        • What’s your state of mind? Happy or sad? Contented or frustrated?
        • What does your physical body look like? How do you feel about that?
        • Does your best life make you smile and make your heart sing? If it doesn’t, dig deeper, dream bigger.

        It’s important to focus on the result, or at least a way-point in your life. Don’t think about the process for getting there yet—that’s the next stepGive yourself permission to revisit this vision every day, even if only for a few minutes. Keep your vision alive and in the front of your mind.

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        Plan Backwards

        It may sound counter-intuitive to plan backwards rather than forwards, but when you’re planning your life from the end result, it’s often more useful to consider the last step and work your way back to the first. This is actually a valuable and practical strategy for making your vision a reality.

        • What’s the last thing that would’ve had to happen to achieve your best life?
        • What’s the most important choice you would’ve had to make?
        • What would you have needed to learn along the way?
        • What important actions would you have had to take?
        • What beliefs would you have needed to change?
        • What habits or behaviors would you have had to cultivate?
        • What type of support would you have had to enlist?
        • How long will it have taken you to realize your best life?
        • What steps or milestones would you have needed to reach along the way?

        Now it’s time to think about your first step, and the next step after that. Ponder the gap between where you are now and where you want to be in the future. It may seem impossible, but it’s quite achievable if you take it step-by-step.

        It’s important to revisit this vision from time to time. Don’t be surprised if your answers to the questions, your technicolor vision, and the resulting plans change. That can actually be a very good thing; as you change in unforeseeable ways, the best life you envision will change as well. For now, it’s important to use the process, create your vision, and take the first step towards making that vision a reality.

        Featured photo credit: Matt Noble via unsplash.com

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