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6 Traits to Become a Respected Leader

6 Traits to Become a Respected Leader

Leadership is a quality that many employers want and many applicants lack. It is not something that can be easily learned, studied, or memorized. Rather, it is an attitude and a way of looking at life. To learn to become a leader involves changing the way you think, not just the way you act. There are also some people that are born with certain traits, both physical and mental, that make them more natural leaders.

While some people do have a much easier go of it, however, anyone can become a good leader. The best time to start, as with anything, is while still young. Here are seven traits that leaders tend to have.

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1. Communication

Leaders tend to communicate extremely well. Whether they are communicating on a one-on-one basis or with a large groups or crowds, they do it well. Part of this is being able to connect with people on an emotional level. Convincing someone to follow you is much easier if they feel some sort of emotional connection to you. Additionally a leader should learn to speak clearly and with confidence. They should know how to present their thought process in a logical way that makes sense to others. There are lots of ways to improve your communication skills that can be found online.

2. Caring

Many people do not think of this attribute when thinking of a great leader, but it is extremely important. People follow leaders willingly because they think they will improve their life in some way. If others can tell that you care, they are often willing to look past shortcomings and follow you. If you really do not care, it is extremely hard to fake for long periods of time, and people will eventually figure you out.

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3. Knowledge

Nothing will erode a leader’s ability to lead more effectively than a lack of knowledge. If those in your group or organization can sense that they know more than you, they will quickly lose their trust in you. This can be one of the hardest traits to develop because there is an infinite amount of things to know. However, whether it is fair or not, people often expect their leaders to have all the answers. There are lots of great ways to build up your knowledge throughout your life. Because this will take time though, it is something that should always be happening.

4. Height

This one is simply not fair, but it is a fact. People that are taller tend to be given leadership responsibilities more often. They also tend to be paid higher and trusted more with important issues. While you will not be able to make major changes to your height, there are actually ways to grow taller. Even if none of those ways work you can improve your physique and still fare well. People also tend to look up to those that are well built and have a healthy body.

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5. Confidence

For some people this will be the easiest thing to develop, and others would rather try to grow a foot taller. Confidence is a fickle thing that can, and often is, faked. The phrase is often said “fake it till you make it”, and that can easily apply to confidence. Many of the most confident and successful people have come out and talked about a lack of confidence in their childhood. If you struggle with confidence, there are definitely ways to boost that confidence. You will also find that as some of the other traits mentioned grow, your confidence will naturally grow with them.

6. Honesty

Few things will ruin a leader as fast as a lie. A great leader can fall by telling one simple lie, even if they thought they were doing it for the right reasons. It is always hard to gain someone’s trust after being caught in a lie, but it is especially hard for leaders. Make the decision now that you will always be honest with those you lead. This is one that can and should be done starting on day one.

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Last Updated on September 10, 2018

Overcoming The Pain Of A Breakup: 3 Suggestions Based On Science

Overcoming The Pain Of A Breakup: 3 Suggestions Based On Science

We thought that the expression ‘broken heart’ was just a metaphor, but science is telling us that it is not: breakups and rejections do cause physical pain. When a group of psychologists asked research participants to look at images of their ex-partners who broke up with them, researchers found that the same brain areas that are activated by physical pain are also activated by looking at images of ex-partners. Looking at images of our ex is a painful experience, literally.[1].

Given that the effect of rejections and breakups is the same as the effect of physical pain, scientists have speculated on whether the practices that reduce physical pain could be used to reduce the emotional pain that follows from breakups and rejections. In a study on whether painkillers reduce the emotional pain caused by a breakup, researchers found that painkillers did help. Individuals who took painkillers were better able to deal with their breakup. Tamar Cohen wrote that “A simple dose of paracetamol could help ease the pain of a broken heart.”[2]

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Just like painkillers can be used to ease the pain of a broken heart, other practices that ease physical pain can also be used to ease the pain of rejections and breakups. Three of these scientifically validated practices are presented in this article.

Looking at images of loved ones

While images of ex-partners stimulate the pain neuro-circuitry in our brain, images of loved ones activate a different circuitry. Looking at images of people who care about us increases the release of oxytocin in our body. Oxytocin, or the “cuddle hormone,” is the hormone that our body relies on to induce in us a soothing feeling of tranquility, even when we are under high stress and pain.

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In fact, oxytocin was found to have a crucial role as a mother is giving birth to her baby. Despite the extreme pain that a mother has to endure during delivery, the high level of oxytocin secreted by her body transforms pain into pleasure. Mariem Melainine notes that, “Oxytocin levels are usually at their peak during delivery, which promotes a sense of euphoria in the mother and helps her develop a stronger bond with her baby.”[3]

Whenever you feel tempted to look at images of your ex-partner, log into your Facebook page and start browsing images of your loved ones. As Eva Ritvo, M.D. notes, “Facebook fools our brain into believing that loved ones surround us, which historically was essential to our survival. The human brain, because it evolved thousands of years before photography, fails on many levels to recognize the difference between pictures and people”[4]

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Exercise

Endorphins are neurotransmitters that reduce our perception of pain. When our body is high on endorphins, painful sensations are kept outside of conscious awareness. It was found that exercise causes endorphins to be secreted in the brain and as a result produce a feeling of power, as psychologist Alex Korb noted in his book: “Exercise causes your brain to release endorphins, neurotransmitters that act on your neurons like opiates (such as morphine or Vicodin) by sending a neural signal to reduce pain and provide anxiety relief.”[5] By inhibiting pain from being transmitted to our brain, exercise acts as a powerful antidote to the pain caused by rejections and breakups.

Meditation

Jon Kabat Zinn, a doctor who pioneered the use of mindfulness meditation therapy for patients with chronic pain, has argued that it is not pain itself that is harmful to our mental health, rather, it is the way we react to pain. When we react to pain with irritation, frustration, and self-pity, more pain is generated, and we enter a never ending spiral of painful thoughts and sensations.

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In order to disrupt the domino effect caused by reacting to pain with pain, Kabat Zinn and other proponents of mindfulness meditation therapy have suggested reacting to pain through nonjudgmental contemplation and acceptance. By practicing meditation on a daily basis and getting used to the habit of paying attention to the sensations generated by our body (including the painful ones and by observing these sensations nonjudgmentally and with compassion) our brain develops the habit of reacting to pain with grace and patience.

When you find yourself thinking about a recent breakup or a recent rejection, close your eyes and pay attention to the sensations produced by your body. Take deep breaths and as you are feeling the sensations produced by your body, distance yourself from them, and observe them without judgment and with compassion. If your brain starts wandering and gets distracted, gently bring back your compassionate nonjudgmental attention to your body. Try to do this exercise for one minute and gradually increase its duration.

With consistent practice, nonjudgmental acceptance will become our default reaction to breakups, rejections, and other disappointments that we experience in life. Every rejection and every breakup teaches us great lessons about relationships and about ourselves.

Featured photo credit: condesign via pixabay.com

Reference

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