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6 Important Divorce Guidelines: Getting Out With Your Skin Intact

6 Important Divorce Guidelines: Getting Out With Your Skin Intact

Divorce isn’t just a traumatic event that causes great emotional and mental stress. It can also have material repercussions on the circumstances of your life that may be very evident years after the fact. Therefore, if you are already going through it, getting ready for it, or suspect that you may have to do so in near future, it’s a good idea to get acquainted with the following tips.

1. Make Sure You Actually Need A Divorce

Divorce is a big step, and its consequences aren’t easy to smooth over. Before you proceed with it, make sure it actually is necessary and there is no other method of reconciliation.

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If you went through a traumatic experience recently, give yourself time to heal – perhaps you will change your opinion once the dust settles. Go through therapy if necessary, and suggest the same for your spouse. Talk to a marriage counselor and in general do everything possible to save your marriage.

2. Be Very Careful When Choosing A Lawyer

Once the decision is made, the correct choice of lawyer is of paramount importance. Naturally, the first requirement should be a lawyer with prior experience in matrimonial law, somebody who has a good track record of finding good settlements for their clients.

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Another good idea is both parties hiring divorce lawyers who are acquainted with each other or, better yet, have a history of working together on similar cases and finding solutions that satisfied everybody. Avoid lawyers known for an all-or-nothing approach — it will prolong the proceedings and increase their paychecks, but not what you actually get in the end.

3. Don’t Take Any Action Without Talking To Your Lawyer

Unless you are a lawyer yourself, you don’t understand a lot of things about how law in general and divorce law in particular works. Any action you take or word you say can be used against you later on, resulting in a less-than-happy settlement in the court. In addition to that, laws are different in different states, which can result in even further complications.

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4. Don’t Move Out Of Your Home Before Talking It Over With A Lawyer

Your moving out of your marital home can be used as either a reason to force you to start paying alimony or cause problems with collecting it. Once you leave, you may not be able to return to it legally until the court proceedings are over, which can take quite a while. Unless your spouse is dangerously violent, you should stay in your house for as long as your attorney suggests.

5. Keep Track Of All Financial Records

The more hard evidence you have, the better. You may think you know your spouse, but practice shows that divorces get nasty more often than not, and you should be ready for any kind of treachery from your spouse. If you want to be able to protect yourself and your finances, you should be ready to have irrevocable proof that you are in the right.

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6. Don’t Let Emotions Control Your Actions

This is true both in the short and long term, both during the preliminary stages and during property division. Don’t give too much weight to your emotional attachment to your house and other belongings. Don’t let your spouse manipulate your behaviour — remember that they know you better than anybody else in the world and understand what makes you mad. Don’t ever show any behavior that can be evaluated as aggressive or violent — it can and will be used against you.

All in all, there is only one tip that is guaranteed to keep you safe: use your common sense, be logical, prepare for everything carefully — then, everything will be as alright as possible.

Featured photo credit: https://www.flickr.com/ via flickr.com

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Last Updated on March 13, 2019

How to Get out of a Rut: 12 Useful Ways to Get Unstuck

How to Get out of a Rut: 12 Useful Ways to Get Unstuck

Have you gotten into a rut before? Or are you in a rut right now?

You know you’re in a rut when you run out of ideas and inspiration. I personally see a rut as a productivity vacuum. It might very well be a reason why you aren’t getting results. Even as you spend more time on your work, you can’t seem to get anything constructive done. While I’m normally productive, I get into occasional ruts (especially when I’ve been working back-to-back without rest). During those times, I can spend an entire day in front of the computer and get nothing done. It can be quite frustrating.

Over time, I have tried and found several methods that are helpful to pull me out of a rut. If you experience ruts too, whether as a working professional, a writer, a blogger, a student or other work, you will find these useful. Here are 12 of my personal tips to get out of ruts:

1. Work on the small tasks.

When you are in a rut, tackle it by starting small. Clear away your smaller tasks which have been piling up. Reply to your emails, organize your documents, declutter your work space, and reply to private messages.

Whenever I finish doing that, I generate a positive momentum which I bring forward to my work.

2. Take a break from your work desk.

Get yourself away from your desk and go take a walk. Go to the washroom, walk around the office, go out and get a snack.

Your mind is too bogged down and needs some airing. Sometimes I get new ideas right after I walk away from my computer.

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3. Upgrade yourself

Take the down time to upgrade yourself. Go to a seminar. Read up on new materials (#7). Pick up a new language. Or any of the 42 ways here to improve yourself.

The modern computer uses different typefaces because Steve Jobs dropped in on a calligraphy class back in college. How’s that for inspiration?

4. Talk to a friend.

Talk to someone and get your mind off work for a while.

Talk about anything, from casual chatting to a deep conversation about something you really care about. You will be surprised at how the short encounter can be rejuvenating in its own way.

5. Forget about trying to be perfect.

If you are in a rut, the last thing you want to do is step on your own toes with perfectionist tendencies.

Just start small. Do what you can, at your own pace. Let yourself make mistakes.

Soon, a little trickle of inspiration will come. And then it’ll build up with more trickles. Before you know it, you have a whole stream of ideas.

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6. Paint a vision to work towards.

If you are continuously getting in a rut with your work, maybe there’s no vision inspiring you to move forward.

Think about why you are doing this, and what you are doing it for. What is the end vision in mind?

Make it as vivid as possible. Make sure it’s a vision that inspires you and use that to trigger you to action.

7. Read a book (or blog).

The things we read are like food to our brain. If you are out of ideas, it’s time to feed your brain with great materials.

Here’s a list of 40 books you can start off with. Stock your browser with only the feeds of high quality blogs, such as Lifehack.org, DumbLittleMan, Seth Godin’s Blog, Tim Ferris’ Blog, Zen Habits or The Personal Excellence Blog.

Check out the best selling books; those are generally packed with great wisdom.

8. Have a quick nap.

If you are at home, take a quick nap for about 20-30 minutes. This clears up your mind and gives you a quick boost. Nothing quite like starting off on a fresh start after catching up on sleep.

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9. Remember why you are doing this.

Sometimes we lose sight of why we do what we do, and after a while we become jaded. A quick refresher on why you even started on this project will help.

What were you thinking when you thought of doing this? Retrace your thoughts back to that moment. Recall why you are doing this. Then reconnect with your muse.

10. Find some competition.

Nothing quite like healthy competition to spur us forward. If you are out of ideas, then check up on what people are doing in your space.

Colleagues at work, competitors in the industry, competitors’ products and websites, networking conventions.. you get the drill.

11. Go exercise.

Since you are not making headway at work, might as well spend the time shaping yourself up.

Sometimes we work so much that we neglect our health and fitness. Go jog, swim, cycle, whichever exercise you prefer.

As you improve your physical health, your mental health will improve, too. The different facets of ourselves are all interlinked.

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Here’re 15 Tips to Restart the Exercise Habit (and How to Keep It).

12. Take a good break.

Ruts are usually signs that you have been working too long and too hard. It’s time to get a break.

Beyond the quick tips above, arrange for a 1-day or 2-days of break from your work. Don’t check your (work) emails or do anything work-related. Relax and do your favorite activities. You will return to your work recharged and ready to start.

Contrary to popular belief, the world will not end from taking a break from your work. In fact, you will be much more ready to make an impact after proper rest. My best ideas and inspiration always hit me whenever I’m away from my work.

Take a look at this to learn the importance of rest: The Importance of Scheduling Downtime

More Resources About Getting out of a Rut

Featured photo credit: Joshua Earle via unsplash.com

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