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Tips for When Your Bachelor Party Shenanigans go Too Far

Tips for When Your Bachelor Party Shenanigans go Too Far

Bachelor parties are a last hoorah and an “anything goes” excuse for men to act like young boys again. Things often go way too far, and it’s fine unless you get caught up in the shenanigans. Angry spouses, agitated police officers, and black eyes are some standard outcomes. While your shenanigans may make you a legend among your buddies, they can be taken out of context by everyone not involved in your bachelor party. What may be intended as some innocent bonding time can be misconstrued. To avoid any backlash, there are ways to minimize the damage to your fellow comrades and yourself.

5 Examples of Bachelor Party Shenanigans That Went Too Far

1. The Disorderly Conduct Misdemeanor of the Staal Boys

During Eric Staal’s bachelor party, he and 14 others, including his brother, Jordan Staal, wound up getting arrested. Jordan and Eric play for the NHL team the Pittsburgh Penguins, so their arrest made headlines. They were screaming, yelling, and playing loud music at a resort and were warned multiple times to quiet down. They were ordered to leave the resort they were staying at, so they went on a walk, which lead them to the highway. There, they began to harass motorists, which led to their arrest. Jordan Staal, who was only 18 at the time, was charged with underage drinking.

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2. Moroccan Dress-Up Misunderstanding

In Morocco, a French man dressed up as a woman and paraded around in Marrakesh’s famous bazaar. This might not be a criminal offense in most places, but it’s seriously offensive in some. They were put in custody, and their actions were said to be irresponsible and disruptive to public morals. Morocco’s penal code outlaws homosexuality, and I guess dressing up as a woman as a prank crosses that legal line. Moral of the story here, I guess, is make sure you know what the customs are in the country you’re traveling to for your bachelor party shenanigans.

3. Mile High Bachelor Shenanigans

If you’re flying elsewhere for a bachelor party, you may not want to follow the lead of this crew. Twelve Brits were flying from London to Bratislava for Joshua Mariner’s bachelor party. They were loud and obnoxious, even throwing punches at each other. The crew stopped giving them alcohol. The end result was the captain landing the plane in Berlin, an unscheduled stop. The worst six of the bunch faced charges of up to 20,000 GBP under the Aviation Security Act. The saving grace in this story is that Ryanair should have never let them on the flight in their already drunken conditions. This is the kind of thing that has the potential to stand up in court when presented properly.

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4. Bachelor Party Bar Brawl

In Spokane, Washington, a groom-to-be hadn’t even made it to the altar before he made his first appearance in court for a bachelor party gone wrong. He and two of his friends were a part of an all-out brawl during their party. Multiple calls occurred stating that a man was jumping up and down on the hood of a car. When the police arrived, they found more than 25 people fighting outside of the bar. When police tried to separate the groom and his two buddies, they pushed the officer. Police backup was called and more than 25 officers arrived to break up the madness. The three have been charged with assaulting a law enforcement officer as well as other misdemeanors.

5. The Groping Groom

Police arrested a groom to be in Stillwater named Steven Bryce Meduna after allegedly groping women on the dance floor at a bar. Meduna was asked to leave but he resisted. In his drunken stupor, he grabbed a railing and refused to let go when they attempted to drag him off the dance floor. Several employees finally managed to get him onto the patio area but he continued to aggressively attempt to punch a security officer. Meduna was arrested for disorderly conduct and was booked into Washington County Jail.

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Stealing Someone’s Garden Gnome

It may seem hilarious at the time to steal someone’s property like, say, a garden gnome. However, the owners may not take it so well, and they may call the police. If you’re found with said garden decoration, you may end up in more trouble than you bargained for. As you didn’t cause bodily harm or threaten anyone, the charge will be theft. Theft is a felony in most cases, and it’s possible you could be sent to prison for 3 months to 2 years. Most people are going to understand that you made an error in judgement at a bachelor party. First, plead forgiveness from the owners with a formal apology. If you are unable to sweet talk the police and owners into the innocence of your theft, you’re likely going to need a defense lawyer.

Criminal Mischief

Criminal mischief includes silly things you would never normally do. Anything goes at a bachelor party while you are out on the town for the night. Maybe in your half drunk lack of judgement, you kick someone’s property or maybe you want to commemorate the night with a graffiti memorial. That’s all well and good until the police drive by and catch you mid-spray (or mid-kick). It depends how much damage you’ve done in dollars, of course, but you could end up with jail time for your momentary lapse. Don’t run. This will only incur additional charges. Drop the can, raise your hands and be prepared to answer some questions. It’s likely you’ll be taken down to the police station as you’ve already proven you can’t be trusted on this particular night. Be cooperative but don’t give up too much information as it can be used against you later. You may be charged, and if this occurs, immediately ask for a plea deal and say you will fix the damage you caused. This should eliminate any possibility of a criminal record.

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Indecent Exposure

While it may seem innocent to urinate in the streets or go streaking during a bachelor party, it can be taken up in the wrong way completely. You could end up in prison or fined a lot of money with an indecent exposure conviction if you don’t get your story across correctly. It’s probably best if you skip right to finding a lawyer so they can argue your case for you. It’s possible that your charges can be reduced or dismissed if defense strategies are played out well.

Disorderly Conduct

Just the act of swearing in the streets (which may be perfectly acceptable according to bachelor party etiquette) can land you in jail for the night. By law, you’re breaching peace, and you can be considered a threat to the public. If you’re convicted under the charge of disorderly conduct, it’s a permanent stain on your record. If you’re charged with a class B misdemeanor, you could face prison time. You may be asked to provide a statement by the police, but if you’re under the influence, you may want to keep quiet. Many times, drunken ramblings only make things worse.

Drinking in Public

There may be drinking in public involved with your bachelor party, or you may just be drunk getting from one place to the next. Being arrested for public intoxication is a buzzkill to the whole night. While you’re drunk, the police may decide to release you from prison, provided you plead guilty or no contest. While you may want to get back out and party with your friends, you’ll actually be convicted if you agree to their terms. It’s publicly put on record, and it can influence your career later on. Even if you’re guilty, this small act shouldn’t change your life. If the police press charges, get a defense lawyer and contest it.

Evading Arrest (i.e. running from the cops)

Evading arrest is a fine line and you have more rights than you may realize. If a police officer starts talking to you, you’re not required to respond. You are free to decline questions or searches as long as you haven’t been placed in custody or formerly arrested. If they have reasonable suspicion, they must order you to stop. If they do ask you to stop and you don’t, you could end up with high fines and potentially some jail time. The best way to avoid the charge is to say you were confused, and if they didn’t take the necessary steps towards a proper arrest, you can contest it.

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Published on November 2, 2020

How to Use Your Unconscious Mind to Get What You Want

How to Use Your Unconscious Mind to Get What You Want

I get my best ideas when I’m not trying—when I’m zoning out in the shower or taking my dog for a walk. Suddenly, something I’ve been racking my brain to figure out seems to just come to me. It may seem like magic, but it’s actually just my unconscious mind coming through for the win.

What Is Conscious Thought?

Let’s start by explaining what the unconscious mind is not. I want you to think about what your dream house would look like if money were no object. Then, think about where you were the first time you can remember feeling joy.

That voice in your head that was talking you through those two tasks is your conscious mind. Simply put, any thought process that you are aware of (conscious of) is part of your conscious mind. I’m using my conscious mind as I sit here and write this article.

One of the major brain centers for conscious thought is in your prefrontal cortex. This is on the outside of your brain behind your forehead. Some of the downsides of conscious thought are that it’s energetically taxing and finite. What I mean is, your conscious mind can only think one thing at a time, and it burns through a lot of glucose to do so.

Try to figure out the square root of 2400 while creating a grocery list. You can skip back and forth between those two tasks, but your conscious mind can’t wrestle with both simultaneously.

Also, think of a time when you were utilizing your conscious mind for an extended period. Maybe you were in classes all day or busy with a tough work task late into the night. You were probably exhausted after such intensive and extended conscious thought.

What Is the Unconscious Mind?

That’s why the unconscious mind is such a valuable resource. It isn’t energy taxing, and it is virtually limitless. Your unconscious mind could be trying to figure out thousands of problems right now.

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The downside is that you aren’t conscious of any of it until you are—until your unconscious thoughts make it into your consciousness.

That’s why it behooves us to figure out how to create the right environment for our unconscious minds to flourish.

System 1 and System 2 Thinking

Daniel Kahneman’s seminal book Thinking, Fast and Slow gives us another way to think about the difference between the unconscious and conscious minds. Kahneman describes two different modes of thought called System 1 and System 2.

System 1 is quick, emotional, and intuitive, while System 2 is slow, methodical, and logical. System 1 works in tandem with System 2.

For example, if you see someone looking at you, your System 1 might assume they are upset with you. Then, your System 2 takes over to process information and discern what might actually be going on at that moment.

Kahneman warns us that System 1 and System 2 are metaphors for how the mind works.[1] It would be an oversimplification to try to explain specific regions where System 1 and System 2 thinking takes place. However, System 1 and 2 is a powerful way of thinking about different modes of thinking. Kahneman calls System 1 automatic thinking and System 2 effortful.

The idea of focus is key here. In a famous experiment, participants were told to watch a video and count how many times people in the video passed a ball to each other. This required their System 2 thinking. However, the intense focus required for this experiment caused most people to miss the fact that while the people in the video were passing the ball, a person in a gorilla suit slowly made his way through the shot.

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How to Make Your Unconscious Mind Work For You

Focusing too intensely can cause us to miss details and solutions better suited to our unconscious mind. That’s why we sometimes have to stop and chill out, instead of forcing solutions.

Here are five ways to make your unconscious mind work for you.

1. Manage Stress

Your unconscious mind is not a big fan of you being stressed out, overworked, or overwhelmed. Managing stress is important if you want to be able to come up with those effortless “aha!” ideas.

Imagine that you’re under a strict work deadline. Your anxiety is compounded by the fact that you’re worried about losing your job and that your entire family relies on your income. This is an incredible amount of pressure that makes it tough for your unconscious mind to break through with that effortless creativity.

Think back to the video where the person in the gorilla suit sneaks through all the people passing the ball around. Most people are so focused on the task at hand that they don’t see the most interesting part of the video. Stress and pressure can lead to a kind of tunnel vision that works the same way. Our attention becomes so narrowly focused that we aren’t able to zoom out and connect the dots between broader patterns and ideas.

That’s why it’s crucial to find ways to manage stress. I recently spoke with humor engineer Drew Tarvin who explained the 4 R’s of managing stress.[2]

First, try to reduce stress by eliminating stressors from your life. This might mean finding a less stressful job or leaving earlier for work.

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Next, reframe the stresses that you can’t eliminate. Reframing isn’t pretending that your stress doesn’t exist; it’s trying to think differently and change your perspective about stressors that do exist. This might mean looking at the bright side or trying to see the bigger picture. If I don’t want to quit my stressful job, I can try to reframe by thinking more about the money I make or the times I feel fulfilled at work.

The third step is to relieve stress. This means finding ways to relax throughout the day. You might try meditating or watching funny cat videos on YouTube to clear your head and relieve your stress.

Finally, refresh. Find ways to take more extensive breaks where you completely de-stress. Pre-COVID, this might have meant taking a vacation to a beach somewhere. But now, you’ll have to get more creative as you find ways to put your phone down, forget about work, and come back completely refreshed.

2. Take Breaks

Part of stress management is taking breaks. But taking breaks is also an important part of tapping into your unconscious mind.

When I’m trying to figure out how to structure an article or put together ideas for a larger project, I schedule in time to completely put the project down. This allows my unconscious mind the freedom to come up with some truly novel solutions, and unlike conscious thought, it feels effortless.

This is that experience of the light bulb suddenly going on while you’re showering or driving to work. When you aren’t focused on anything in particular, your unconscious mind has the quiet it needs to bubble up to become conscious thought.

So, take breaks. One strategy is what’s called the Pomodoro Technique, which is when you stop to take a five-minute break after every 25 minutes of work. This allows you to recharge. Plus, by systematically easing your intense focus, you are giving your unconscious mind opportunities to come up with some truly novel ideas.

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3. Get Creative

The unconscious mind is great at effortlessly seeing patterns and finding interesting solutions, but for this to happen, it needs some inspiration. That means creating and consuming as much creativity as you can.

Pick up an artistic or creative hobby. Paint, write, build, or dance. It’s also helpful to consume creativity. Go to museums, read poetry, and walk in nature. Taking in creativity with your conscious mind will give your unconscious mind all the inspiration it needs to be able to do its thing.

4. Don’t Force It

The most crucial takeaway about the unconscious mind is that you can’t force it. You can struggle and strain all you want when you’re using your conscious mind, but the unconscious mind can only bubble to the surface when you aren’t trying so hard.

Think back to that phenomenon of having an aha moment while you’re showering or walking your dog. The unconscious mind is better able to break through when you aren’t focused so intensely on whatever it is you’re trying to solve.

So, relax and give yourself some time and space. That’s when your unconscious mind is most likely to breakthrough.

5. Play

Finally, don’t forget about the power of play. Play is inherently fun, and a playful mode of thinking allows your unconscious mind more of a chance to innovate. If you turn your task into a game, you’ll be more relaxed, have more fun, and collaborate better with your colleagues. That means you’ll be more likely to riff and get to a more creative “unconscious mind” solution.

You can also add play throughout your day to tap into this freer, less constrained kind of thinking. Turn your commute into a game, play hide and seek with your children, or join a local bowling league. This will help you get reacquainted with your childlike sense of joy, wonder, and curiosity—all key ingredients to nurturing and fostering your unconscious mind.

Final Thoughts

Dealing with and utilizing your unconscious mind is very different from doing so with your conscious mind. Tapping your unconscious mind is a technique that, when done right, can help you get what you want by untapping your potential.

Featured photo credit: Katerina Jerabkova via unsplash.com

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