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Google Pixel: A Mom’s Best Friend

Google Pixel: A Mom’s Best Friend

I’m a mom, so I rarely buy myself anything new. When I saw the Google Pixel at the Google Event, I knew it was time to treat myself.

I had been using an old 16GB Samsung S4, one that had been handed down to me. Sure, it was still functioning, but it was getting slow, and I wasn’t happy with the photo quality anymore. I took the plunge and pre-ordered the Pixel, and in it, found my new best friend.

Meeting the Google Pixel

google-pixel
    Image by Google

    The first thing I noticed, after I unboxed my beloved new Google Pixel, was that there were no earphones in the box. It’s not a big deal to me, as I still have my good old Samsung earbuds, it’s just one of those things one has grown to expect when getting a new phone. One less pair of earbuds I have to hide from my child, I suppose.

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    Another thing I didn’t realize: The Google Pixel uses USB-C cables to charge, not the Micro-USB that many phones use. The Pixel comes with a wall charger and not one, but two cables. One is USB-C to USB-C, which plugs in to the wall charger. The second is USB-C to USB. This is great because I can leave one plugged in at home, and one plugged in to my computer at work. Not that I ever have to top up the charge on this phone part way through the day.

    The first full day I had the phone I played with it all day. I took pictures and video, changed settings, streamed Netflix, scrolled through Pinterest, asked the Assistant dumb questions, read an e-book. By the time I went to bed, it still had 58% charge. It was then that I knew I was in love.

    Picture Quality

    Google Pixel photo
      The morning sky, captured by my Google Pixel.

      The picture quality of the 12.3 megapixel camera is unlike anything I have ever seen on a cell phone. One of the reasons that I wanted to upgrade was that the picture quality on the older phone was noticeably poor. Because I am primarily using my phone to take pictures of my child, I obviously want these to be the best they can be.

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      While I did notice some of the lens flare that seems to be angering others, I’m not too concerned with it. Google is working on a software update that will reportedly be out in the next few weeks. In the meantime, I’m considering the occasional flare a bit of artsy panache added to my pictures.

      Video Stabilization

      The video stabilization in the Google Pixel is glorious. I have a toddler who doesn’t sit still, so I am constantly chasing her with the camera. You will have to take my word on how remarkably smooth it is. It really is as good as the demo at the Google Event.

      Google Photos

      Can we talk about unlimited online storage for photos and video at full resolution? Google Photos is obviously the best thing that has ever happened to parents who take far too many pictures of their children. This is perfect for me, because:

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      1. I rarely take the time to transfer the astronomical amount of photos I have stored on my phone to my computer.
      2. I am terrified that a natural disaster will wipe out the thousands of baby photos I have stored on my computer.

      Any time you need to free up space, you just go in to Google Photos and click ‘Free Up Space’. It will tell you if the photos have been backed up to your Google Photo library, and if it’s safe to remove them from your device. It couldn’t be easier.

      Google Assistant

      The Assistant and I are in the early days of our friendship, but I already like her. She makes it easy to schedule appointments and send texts when my hands are full of kid. She helps me build my grocery list and will give me a briefing on my day. I can even take hands-free photos!

      google-pixel-screenshot

        Google Assistant is able to remember the context of a line of questioning, so you can ask several questions in a row about the same subject. The Assistant, like Siri, also has some great scripted answers to certain questions. Go ahead and ask her who shot first. And don’t forget to try “I’m Feeling Lucky”.

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        It is, of course, a learning process, and not all answers are witty, nor is everything I say understood. I look forward to seeing what a more personalized experience is like as the AI gets to know me better.

        Reduced Bloatware

        I like my carrier, I’m with them for a reason, but I never use any of the extra apps they install on the phone. Sure you can disable some, but rarely can you uninstall them, only their updates. It was the same thing with the added Samsung bloatware. Here I was, stuck with apps taking up space that I could be using for other apps that actually interest me. With the Google Pixel, you can actually delete the pre-installed apps that you don’t want.

        Fingerprint Reader

        Having never had one, I am especially happy with the fingerprint reader. My daughter discovered a work-around to the locked screen on the S4: if you press the home button enough times, the phone will access S Voice and just unlock. Like it’s been broken under torture. This doesn’t happen with the Google Pixel. It’s really handy having the reader on the back of the phone, as you can hold the phone naturally and unlock it. And you can set up prints for more than one finger, so I can use either hand.

        I would definitely recommend this phone to those who are looking for something new, and a little different than what they are used to. I particularly recommend this to the Mama Tribe. The smartphone has become an important tool for modern mothers, and the Google Pixel makes using a smartphone even easier and more convenient than it has been in the past few years. You’ll want to keep this phone all for yourself, and out of the mitts, and mouths, of babes.

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        Published on December 20, 2019

        Is Authoritarian Parenting Good or Bad for Your Child?

        Is Authoritarian Parenting Good or Bad for Your Child?

        Kate sits down to the dinner table and is eager to be a good girl and eat her dinner like her Mom and Dad want her to do. She is a sweet girl who wants the approval of her parents very much. It is not always easy though. During dinner, she stands up and starts to leave the table because she has to use the bathroom. Her Dad yells at her to sit back down. He tells her “we don’t just get up from the dinner table, we wait and ask to be excused after everyone is finished eating.” She begins to protest, wanting to explain that she needs to use the bathroom. Her father becomes more upset with her and yells at her that she is now talking back and she is not allowed to say another word at the dinner table until everyone is finished eating and then she can be excused.

        Unfortunately for Kate, she can’t hold it, and she has a little accident because she is too fearful to say a word to her Dad. She doesn’t want to get yelled at anymore. She also knows that in her home, kids don’t have a say. What Mom and Dad say is like words carved into stone. They are strict beyond reason and they will not bend their rules. Therefore, Kate felt that she had no choice in the matter and when she could no longer hold it. There was nothing she could do about it.

        Kate’s parents are an example of authoritarian parenting. They are strict, they are not emotionally engaged with their children, and they have very high expectations for their children. This type of parenting style leaves children feeling disconnected from their parents.

        Kate wanted to communicate to her parents that she had to use the restroom, but she couldn’t even get her words out because her parents have such strict rules and demands of her. They did not care to hear what she had to say, because upholding their rules was more important to them. In their household, a child’s opinions and feelings do not matter.

        This kind of strict parenting is not helpful for children. It can damage a child and leave them with low self-esteem, mental health issues, and doing poor academically among other problems cited by research in Parenting Science.[1]

        What Does Authoritarian Parenting Look Like?

        In the 1960’s, a researcher and theorist by the name of Baumrind established the well known theory of parenting styles. Those four parenting styles, which are well known today, are authoritarian, authoritative, passive, and neglectful. For proactive parents that are trying hard to be good parents, they will usually lean toward either authoritarian or authoritative.

        Authoritarian parenting involves strict parenting and high expectations for children. This can sound reasonable and even like good parenting. However, the strict parenting is often characterized by lack of compassion toward the child, little to no flexibility in rules, and complete control sought over the child’s behavior.

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        Parents who use this parenting style believe it is their job to control the will and behavior of their children. An article in Psychology Today explains how authoritarian parents operate:[2]

        Authoritarian parents believe that children are, by nature, strong-willed and self-indulgent. They value obedience to higher authority as a virtue unto itself. Authoritarian parents see their primary job to be bending the will of the child to that of authority—the parent, the church, the teacher. Willfulness is seen to be the root of unhappiness, bad behavior, and sin. Thus, a loving parent is one who tries to break the will of the child.

        For example, Jake has authoritarian parents. He wants to stay out past curfew on a school night because he has an opportunity to play in a jazz ensemble. He has been playing the saxophone for years and his ambition is to play in a college jazz ensemble.

        With Jake still being in high school, his parents have a curfew. On school nights, it is 8:00 pm. This rule is instituted because his parents believe they need to ensure that Jake gets his school work done each night and that he needs to be well rested for school the next day. However, they don’t explain the why of their rules to him, they simply tell him that those are their rules. The jazz ensemble is practicing at 8:00 pm on a Thursday night and they have invited Jake to come play with them. It is a well known group and a huge opportunity for Jake.

        Unfortunately, his parents say no. Their authoritarian parenting style is unwavering. He wants to discuss the opportunity and its importance, but his parents will not even entertain the conversation. They stop him mid-sentence and go over their rules again. There is no flexibility.

        If Jake’s parents had been authoritative, they would have taken the time to hear out his case and would likely have granted him a later curfew for that one instance. They would see that, although they have a curfew, there are some instances when an opportunity is worth bending the rules. They would ask that he has his homework done before going to play with the group, and that he come home as soon as the practice was finished.

        Authoritative parents have rules, but they are also flexible based on reasonable requests for exceptions. The authoritative parents are interested in how their children are thinking and feeling. Conversely, authoritarian parents are not likely to be interested in hearing their child’s thoughts and feelings, because they want to control the will of their child, not come to some middle ground.

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        Here are some characteristics of authoritarian parenting:

        • They have strict rules that are unyielding and unwavering. This is often called “heavy handed parenting.”
        • They do not want input from the child about rules. They also feel that the child’s opinion does not matter, because they are the parent thus are the supreme authority over the child.
        • There are severe punishments when rules are broken.
        • There is an emotional disconnection between parent and child, because the parent is not interested in what the child thinks or feels. They are more interested in controlling the behavior of the child and having the child be compliant to their rules.
        • Children are expected to listen to their parents and follow the rules, there are no exceptions. A child that voices their objections will likely be punished for doing so.
        • The parents have high expectations, especially when it comes to compliance of their rules.
        • Parents expect that their child will be obedient and they do not need to explain the “why” of their rules and expectations. Compliance is expected out of sheer obedience, not because the child understands the reasons why the rules are set. Parents do not feel the need to explain why they set their rules.
        • There is a failure to have attached relationships between parent and child because of the overly dominant nature of authoritarian parents and their unwillingness to allow their children to have their own voice or free will.

        Authoritarian parents are driven by a belief that they need to control their children. This means controlling their children’s behavior to an extreme. They are inflexible and don’t take into account the child’s desires, emotions, or well-being as being as important to enforcing rules to get the desired outcome. Authoritative parents on the other hand, seek to guide and direct their children instead of control. There is a distinction.

        The Problems of Authoritarian Parenting

        Authoritarian parenting has many negative consequences to children. Children who are raised in homes with extreme authoritarian parenting are more likely to become dependent on drugs and alcohol, have lower academic performance, and increased mental health issues according to Parenting for Brain.[3] Children who are raised with authoritarian parents are also more likely to have lower self esteem, inability to make decisive choices, and have social skills that are lacking.

        When a child is raised to be taught day in and day out that their voice does not matter, then that child will likely be ingrained with that belief. They will not value their own opinions because they have been taught that what they think does not matter and is of no value. This leads to poor self-esteem and low self-worth.

        If a child doesn’t believe that their thoughts matter, then what they think about themselves overall is going to be affected. They will not think highly of themselves or believe that what they think, say, or do is of value. This will contribute to low self-esteem long term.

        Social skills will suffer because a child who comes from an authoritarian home will be trained to believe that nobody wants to hear their opinion and that relationships are based on compliance.

        For example, Judy is raised in an authoritarian home. She is now 18 years old and has her first boyfriend. Anytime that he asks something of her, even if she internally disagrees, she feels that she is supposed to comply and do what he says in order for him to like her and continue wanting to be with her.

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        He wants to have sex. She does not feel that she is ready, but she will not voice this to her boyfriend because she doesn’t think that her opinion will matter or that he will want to listen to what she is feeling. She goes along with sex in their relationship to be compliant. She doesn’t want to be punished by disagreeing with not having sex. He says that they are ready for that next step in the relationship and she fears that the consequence of saying no would be that he ends the relationship.

        Therefore, she doesn’t even voice her thoughts or feelings on the situation because she doesn’t think they have value or will be heard anyway.

        She has been taught by her parents that her opinions and feelings don’t matter. She has learned from the past 18 years with her parents that what matters most is that she is compliant. She gets along with her parents best when she is doing exactly what they want her to do. This is why she feels the need to do the same with her boyfriend.

        Going along with his decisions, being compliant, and not voicing her feelings will keep the relationship going and avoid conflict or punishment. The ultimate punishment in her mind would be that he ends the relationship.

        With her opinions never being valued by those who she has loved the most (her parents), she has learned that she should not voice her opinion if she wants to keep the other person in the relationship happy. In her mind, because of how she has been raised, compliance overrides all else, and her opinion is meaningless.

        However, her boyfriend is not her parents. He is understanding and would want to know how she feels. He wants a long term relationship with her and he loves her so much. His true desire is for her to be happy. He would never want her to have sex if she wasn’t feeling the same way that he was feeling. He would gladly wait and would want to hear what she thinks and feels about taking their relationship to the next level.

        Authoritarian parenting methods can inflict great harm on a child. The child becomes emotionally damaged because they grow up believing that their opinions, thoughts, and feelings do not matter. Instead they are taught that compliance and being obedient supersedes all else.

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        The Solution

        The solution is to move from authoritarian parenting methods to authoritative parenting practices.

        Authoritative parenting has been deemed as the best parenting method by researchers, according to Psychology Today. Parents who use authoritative parenting methods have rules for their children, but they are not looking for blind compliance. They recognize that having a relationship with their child is of great importance and therefore valuing the child’s voice, opinions, and thoughts is important.

        Authoritative parents seek to guide and direct their children, but they do not seek to control the will of their child.

        Parenting Coach Plan explains the foundation of authoritative parenting as the following:[4]

        Authoritative parenting can be described as a style of parenting that combines firm limits and clear boundaries with fair and consistent discipline. Authoritative parents are also nurturing, highly-involved, and willing to speak openly with their child regarding expectations and the consequences for failing to meet those expectations. Rules are enforced and fair consequences are put in place for when those rules are broken.

        Children raised in authoritative homes follow the rules because they understand the “why” of the rules. They are also bonded to their parents because they are able to talk to their parents openly. This bond helps nurture a positive home environment and a two-way relationship that can last a lifetime.

        To learn more about how to be an authoritative parent and how to discipline a child using this parenting method, check out my article:

        How to Discipline a Child (The Complete Guide for Different Ages)

        Featured photo credit: Xavier Mouton Photographie via unsplash.com

        Reference

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