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A 20 Minute Morning Routine to Boost Your Moral for the Day

A 20 Minute Morning Routine to Boost Your Moral for the Day

The modern lifestyle of an ordinary person has become quite stressful. We all live fast-paced lives and the fact that we can now do more things in less time hasn’t made us less busy. This is because the average person living in the 21st century wants it all, and everybody has the right to want it all. We all want to be able to work, make money, have a hobby, focus on our relationships, and many other things in life.

There are so many things to be done and it is often difficult to finish all the things that we planned for a certain day. This is why we try and do as much as we can to make each of our days as productive as possible. One of the most important things for achieving daily success is waking up in the morning and motivating ourselves to be as good as possible during the rest of the upcoming day.

With a good morning routine you can set the stage for a productive and satisfying day and you don’t even have to put in a lot of effort. With this 20 minute morning routine you can start off every day feeling fresh and positive, but you should first make sure that you get enough sleep and establish healthy sleeping patterns.

Drink a glass of water as soon as you wake up (1 minute)

Refreshing Ice Cold Water with Lemon

    You might already know that it’s good to drink around two liters of water every day to keep yourself hydrated and give the body the necessary fluids needed for all functions and chemical reactions to keep running smoothly. However, did you know that drinking a cold glass of water in the morning has a lot of positive benefits as well?

    When you drink water on an empty stomach right after you get up in the morning you will purify your system. Water makes our skin healthier as it removes toxins that we have in our blood and it can make our skin look younger and glowing. By having this morning ritual you can also balance out your lymph system, which helps us fight off infections. Additionally, the lymph glands also regulate fluids in our body.

    It’s even better if you squeeze a couple of drops of fresh lemon juice into your water, as you will get the necessary vitamin C our body craves in the morning. Drinking a glass of cold water with a bit of lemon juice is a much better option than drinking lots of coffee on an empty stomach; save coffee for after breakfast.

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    Turn some music on (1 minute)

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      As soon as you’ve had your refreshing cold water with a lemon twist, turn on some music you enjoy and get your blood to start flowing through your body. Music is a powerful tool, and if used right it can motivate you and give you the necessary energy boost you need at the very start of your day. It can wake you up almost instantaneously. You should consider setting your alarm to be your favorite song, so that you can wake up with a smile on your face.

      Even if you are in a bad mood, listening to music can immediately make you break the negative chain of thought and forget about the difficulties that bother you. It is good to follow up your whole morning ritual with music and simply make the whole thing seem more natural and less of an obligation that “must be done”. If you are that kind of person, you can even sing along with your favorite music and enjoy a little morning dance.

      Open your windows (2 minutes)

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        One of the best ways of telling yourself that sleep time is over and that you need to focus on your daily goals is by smelling some fresh air and gazing at the sun through your wide open windows. Our body and mind have a positive natural reaction to sunlight, so you will feel refreshed and get the necessary energy you need to start your day like a boss.

        Just stand on your window and simply soak in the freshness of the air and the warmth of the sun no matter if it’s winter or summer; in fact, it’s even better during winter, as you probably won’t be seeing the sun as much the rest of the day, and the air will be even fresher. Sit still for a couple of minutes and don’t think about anything really, just gaze into the new morning and you will get all the motivation you really need.

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        Make your bed (1 minute)

        For a lot of us the moments after we get up from bed are usually followed by negativity and laziness. But with this simple ritual you can immediately change these things. A lot of us don’t make our beds when we get up because we feel like it’s not that important and there is no real reason for doing it right away. Oh, but there is a good reason.

        You need to start your every day with a small victory and no matter how small it may seem, making your room look good as soon as you get up can set the ground for other, bigger victories during the rest of your day.

        Do some quick stretches (2 minutes)

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          You might think that this is a quite obvious morning routine everybody knows about, and although this might be true, only a small number of people really do some stretches when they get up from bed. If it’s difficult for you to do them when you get up, you can even do some simple leg and arm stretches while you are still lying in bed.

          On the other hand you can twist your body on the floor or do whatever stretch exercises you like. There are no real rules how you should do this, as long the point of your exercise is stretching. Your body has been in slumber for the past seven or eight hours and you also need to make an effort to wake it up and tell it, it’s show time.

          This will only take a couple of minutes of your time, but it will mean a lot. If this is really boring to you try doing stretches as a part of the dance you like to do when listening to music in the morning.

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          Bathroom time (4 minutes)

          Once you’ve done some stretches and warmed up your body, it’s time to splash your face with some cold water and brush your teeth. I think that we all understand the benefits of these things; not only are they important for our hygiene and health, but they can also make us feel better about ourselves and get the necessary confidence boost at the start of the day.

          Make sure that you wash your face with cold water, as you will instantly feel more awake and ready to tackle all the challenges that come your way. Additionally, take care of your biological needs to get rid of all the toxins your body has processed and accumulated during the night.

          Take a minute to make yourself look good (5 minutes)

          Man in bathroom applying cosmetics on his face

            As a guy, I know that we also do care about how we look and that women are not the only ones who take some time in the morning to make themselves look better. Of course, we don’t take as much time but still, it is important that you go out of your home feeling pretty. Like it or not, we all want others to like our appearance and this is only natural.

            There are numerous studies that show how our confidence is boosted when we take at least 5 minutes in the morning to take care of our grooming. Do these simple things like groom your beard if you have one, take care of your hair, wash your face with apple cider vinegar to treat acne or anything else that doesn’t take a lot of your time.

            Remember, if you are going to work you don’t have to look like a model, but you do need to look presentable and somewhat fashionable.

            Set your goals for the day (4 minutes)

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              There are a lot of small rituals and habits you can create In order to help you overcome procrastination and become consciously active on doing important tasks and achieving daily goals regularly. Don’t overdo it, just create a simple list of the most important goals you have to achieve during that day.

              The goal with this habit is to create a small list of a few simple and actionable tasks that will have a great long-term impact on achieving your more complex goals and changing your life for the better, no matter if it’s work related, education or health related, or relationship goals.

              If you feel more comfortable, write those goals before you go to bed and reflect on them in the morning, which can give you a bit more time for grooming. Think about what needs to be done, how to do it, and motivate yourself to finish what you’ve started. Look at the things you wrote and focus on them before heading out of your home.

              These are the short morning rituals I like to do every day. They’ve helped me motivate myself and now I find it easier to deal with all the issues life throws at me on a daily basis. With a bit of effort you can also create short morning rituals that suit you. If you have some of your own rituals that work, feel free to share your techniques and experiences and help others motivate themselves to the fullest!

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              Nemanja Manojlovic

              Editor at MyCity Web

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              Last Updated on November 11, 2019

              Can a Dysfunctional Family Become Functional?

              Can a Dysfunctional Family Become Functional?

              A dysfunctional family is more than disagreement or constant arguments. Anything from plain neglect, to abuse and even verbal and physical violence is the everyday experience of those who are part of a dysfunctional family.

              You know how this looks:

              • Parents constantly comparing children.
              • Siblings in conflict because of tolerated bullying.
              • Domestic violence.
              • Adultery…
              • And many others.

              For all the members, this will mean emotional pain and even trauma; which, in case it doesn’t get resolved, will have a detrimental effect on the individual’s personality and development.

              Needless to say, the younger members are the most vulnerable, but that doesn’t mean the parents are out of danger, as most commonly the parents play the roles of abuser-codependent, and in some cases, both parts inflicting pain on one another.

              Most like to think these problems stem from deep-seated issues, and that therefore it’s pretty much impossible to deal with them.

              This is only true for families not willing to do what it takes, for if only a single member is determined and knows how to do it, the whole family can do a lot of progress.

              In this article, I’ll break down for you the basic steps of fixing a dysfunctional family. Although it may seem hopeless, it is possible to turn things around.

              If you have ever felt in this position, or if you know somebody who is, this article is for you.

              How to fix a dysfunctional family

              In a few words the solution for a dysfunctional family lies in dropping the ego, focusing on the solution, switching blame for responsibility and doing the work as a unity, for the good of the whole family.

              And this will accomplish things you once only saw as a dream.

              Dropping the ego? Switching blame for responsibility? Doing the work? What does all this mean?

              It’s simple. In a nutshell, it’s that which will allow you to turn a dysfunctional family into a functional one.

              Let’s take a look at how exactly this can be done. And near the end we will also talk about what you can do in a dysfunctional family with cynical traits.

              Dysfunctional families where not only problems are well-known, but also nobody seems to want a fix or openly decide to perpetuate the harmful behaviors. Such as the case of abuse and physical violence.

              There is also a solution for these, it’s just not what you are expecting…

              Dysfunctional… Or just average?

              Most families are dysfunctional, though at varying degrees of dysfunctionality.

              The milder cases, are just marked by “typical” comically-shrouded bullying or lack of interest in other members’ development or wellbeing.

              You can know a family is dysfunctional if their interactions are anything different than cooperation, solidarity, care and support. But let’s get more specific…

              A dysfunctional family is one in which members directly or indirectly suffer emotional and/or physical harm inflicted by other members of their family. Most commonly, perpetrated by the parents.

              Even harmful actions as “passive” as neglect, which is inflicted by inaction rather than action, signifies a dysfunction within the family.

              Dysfunctional families have conflicts such as:

              • Unrealistic expectations
              • Lack of interest and time spent together
              • Sexism
              • Utilitarianism
              • Lack of empathy
              • Unequal or unfair treatment
              • Disrespect towards boundaries
              • Control Issues
              • Jealousy
              • Verbal and physical abuse
              • Violence and even sexual misconduct or abuse

              You may think a dysfunctional family has very little or nothing to do with personal productivity, but you would be wrong in thinking this way…

              If a person is not emotionally well, she will not be able to perform as desired, as the emotional harm that has been inflicted will hinder everyday performance in the way of inability to concentrate, lack of mental clarity and low levels of inspiration, motivation and discipline.

              Having a functional family does exactly the opposite: It creates productive members with no emotional baggage.

              How to turn it around

              When you’re part of a dysfunctional family you know it. You can quickly identify in other members the behaviors and conflicts that create the dysfunction.

              But just in case you’re having trouble telling functional from dysfunctional I will tell you the following:

              One of the easiest ways you can recognize if you are in a dysfunctional family is to survey your won feelings.

              We often overlook this, but have you stopped to ask yourself how you feel?

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              As cheesy as it may sound it really sheds a lot of light on the subject.

              What behaviors, actions and attitudes in your family you wish were better?

              Do you think certain behaviors and actions from your family marked you in the past?

              Sadly, we cannot go back to the past to correct it. But we can do a lot in the present…

              Correction is possible

              In order to fix a dysfunctional family, you must start by putting an end to the behaviors and actions that are affecting you.

              Verbalize it.

              All members of the dysfunctional family have one issue in common: They don’t put a stop to the harm.

              Whenever you feel your boundaries being overstepped there is just one single word you have to remember: STOP.

              This is the door to a better, more functional family, because after this, comes the fix.

              But first you have to identify and make others know where exactly lies the problem.

              So go ahead and fearlessly start with “Stop”, followed by your expression of dissatisfaction.

              Putting it to work in real life

              In real life it would be something like this:

              “OK, stop! Every time you belittle me I feel you don’t care. I need attention and respect, and it is your responsibility as my family to provide them to me”

              Or:

              “Stop. When you compare me with my cousin it hurts, I feel like I don’t matter and that’s not ok. I ask you to stop doing it.

              Or:

              “Please stop. When you start yelling all respect is lost and it turns into a battle of who can do it louder. Don’t raise your voice and let’s work this out the way humans do”.

              As you can see, here you start by putting a stop to the toxic behavior when it arises. And afterwards you verbalize why it’s wrong and what needs of you need to be fulfilled.

              This is what you have to remember:

              1-Stop.

              2-Why it’s wrong?

              3-What you need.

              And this will also work well in case you need to do it for another family member.

              It’s a family thing

              A dysfunctional family cannot be fixed by one member alone.

              Yes, a single member can initiate progress and be the leader of the change. But in order to completely become functional all members must contribute to the solution.

              In other words, you will need cooperation…

              So don’t be afraid of asking for it!

              Approach your family member and ask to be listened.

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              We sometimes feel our needs are “not that important” or we simply believe they won’t listen. But thinking like this would be like being defeated at an unfought battle.

              You will be amazed by how much people listen when you voice your needs, especially if it implies showing yourself open, vulnerable and in need.

              It’s not a free-for-all battle

              In order to get your family to cooperate, first you must fix your individual relationships with every member of the family. Remember: Relationships are always between two people, and two people only.

              No matter how complex, the quality of a multi-member relationship (like a family) will always depend on the quality of the individual relationships.

              Once you have straightened the relationship with every member of the dysfunctional family you will be able to better communicate with other members and help in the betterment of their individual relationship.

              And this is where we will talk about the fix itself. The one I mentioned in the introduction…

              The method

              1. Drop the ego

              Wherever there is conflict there is ego.

              You cannot fix a relationship where there is ego, because the ego will want to win. Always. Yours and the other person.

              Ego craves control and satisfaction, and in many cases, to establish dominance.

              What does this have to do with a dysfunctional family? Everything. Ego will interfere with every plan you have to fix it.

              It will make people suborn and defensive. And it will also make them drop responsibility. This is why, the first step is to drop the ego.

              After you make sure you are not going to allow your ego to interfere you must work to make the other person do the same. How? By speaking from the heart…

              Tell the other person how important all this is to you.

              Tell the other person that it’s not a matter of arguing, but just working things out together.

              Point out how it is not possible for you to do it alone.

              And ask for sincere attention without any desire of opposition, because what you are doing is by no means in the hopes of harming the other person, but just to better the relationship and stop the damage being dealt to you.

              You will have to point out the mistakes you need corrected, that’s for sure. And that leads me to the next point…

              2. Not blame, but responsibility

              When talking about others’ mistakes we often use an accusatory tone. And that’s natural, it’s what things should be like if ego was not present.

              But since we are all creatures of ego, this immediately brings the shields up. And then unsheathes the swords…

              When we blame others they automatically enter a defensive state, and this only leads to a failed negotiation.

              What you need to do is to shift from blame to responsibility. And even that will have to be done carefully!

              Instead of telling them off or demanding change or complaining, calmly point what the problem with their behavior is.

              As much as this feels contradictory, also make them feel understood. You know how difficult it is to accept a mistake, so just make them feel it’s no big fuzz… which does not mean it’s ok, but it takes tension off.

              You will do something like this:

              “Hello dad. Can I talk with you for a minute? I really need to tell you something.

              I have been feeling pretty sad lately and I know this is something you do care about.

              You see, whenever I talk about my accomplishments you mention something else that makes my achievement pale in comparison.

              I know you don’t do this intentionally and I know you might have not realized this until now, but I want to let you know this really brings me down.

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              It would mean a lot to me if you could stop doing it, and it would help better our relationship, because this has already forced me to distance myself from you. And I don’t want that, I want a good, healthy relationship with you”

              What happened here?

              We started off with making it something important, something that needs both time and attention. Then we openly show ourselves vulnerable, just as we are.

              We also mention why he should listen, and shove our feelings there again, because they are important.

              We describe the issue with no attachment and with no hostile intention. It’s just a description.

              And then we take the blame off. Just before we assign responsibility without actually saying it.

              You are not blaming him directly, but you are pointing out the inevitable fact that his actions are causing a dysfunctionality. He is now responsible for changing.

              This is what “switching blame for responsibility” means. What comes next? Doing the work!

              3. Doing the work

              What would any of this mean if, in the end, nothing changes? Exactly, nothing!

              This is why you must follow up with every change that needs to be done.

              Do so in a manner that is not hostile. Bring it up in a casual manner, and emphasizing how you both reached an agreement and how that is important to the family.

              If the person doesn’t follow up don’t hesitate to bring it up again, and tell them you feel disappointed that your honest try at it was not listened.

              It may even be a subject in itself, and therefore the need for another conversation.

              “When you go back to old habits it shows that you didn’t really care about what I said. But back in real life you just reinforce how much contempt you show towards me and my feelings.

              I talk with you because I care. Because although it would be easier for me to just distance myself from you I rather do my part in nurturing this relationship.

              But there is just so much I can do, if you refuse to do your part I can do nothing else.”

              You need very clear and positive communication in order to make this work.

              Love is all you need

              You must remember that in order for a dysfunctional family to become functional, all the work needs to stem from love.

              That is the single one requirement for all this to work: Love.

              And what happens if it simply is not there?

              What happens if, nobody is willing to do what it takes?

              What happens if a member of the family refuses to change and is happy with the harm he or she is dealing?

              There is only one thing you can do:

              To break away.

              Let’s be honest, people, especially adults, are very difficult to change.

              There is a Jewish proverb that I love, which sums it up like this:

              “We spend the rest of our lives trying to unlearn what we learned before we were 7”

              If you find it very hard to change the very traits that make your family dysfunctional or if it’s simply impossible, you still have a card up your sleeve…

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              Although nobody likes to beak away from family members, we must remember we have a responsibility with ourselves as individuals, before any relationship with anyone.

              You have the responsibility of making yourself happy and free. Because you matter as an individual, regardless of any relationships you have, be it family, friendship or romantic.

              Putting distance

              So in case you are dealing with a family member who is simply unwilling to change take both physical and emotional distance.

              What do I mean?

              Learn, first, to take their damage in a detached manner.

              Don’t let it hurt you further. Instead take a deep breath and distance yourself emotionally.

              Don’t be attached to feelings such as “Why doesn’t she love me?” or “What did I do to deserve this?” or “If he wasn’t like that my life would be perfect”.

              Simply refuse to keep participating in the emotional downward spiral and accept, even if it’s painful” that there is nothing you can do. Accept that even without that relationship you are whole, you are worthy of love and respect.

              They are their responsibility and you are yours. So decide what is best for you.

              Realize it only comes down to two possibilities:

              I keep the relationship and therefore accept the abuse. Or…

              I choose my peace of mind.

              And don’t let your mind fool you. We often think that since we all are imperfect, we must take the good and the bad behaviors of people. And we are especially forgiving towards our family…

              Well, guess what? We are also responsible adults who are aware and must own to their acts. Never excuse abuse or violence or transgression towards you or anybody else.

              Choose your happiness and if possible, also distance yourself physically, as it will increase your peace of mind tenfold.

              How to prevent it

              There are two key concepts you must bear in mind in order to prevent the dysfunctionality of a family:

              • To be completely aware of one’s own mistakes and not allow them to impact others and…
              • To make sure our SO’s are also on the same channel before creating a family (i.e. having children)

              Dysfunctional families are the product of irresponsible paternity, for the decades-long unresolved emotional conflict ends up surfacing in the family inevitably, and it will for sure harm those who least deserve it: Innocent children.

              You may notice we went from talking about family, to talking about individual relationships, to talking about you. We went from “them” to “us” to “me”.

              Why? Because in the end you have the power to fix a dysfunctional family. To correct the mistakes you have in yours and to prevent dysfunctionalities if you don’t have a family but plan to create one.

              Priorities and clear thought

              You may be part of a dysfunctional family, but that does not mean you are powerless or that you have to suffer the consequences.

              You learned today how it’s all a matter of priorities and thinking clearly.

              You learned that, if love exists, everything is possible. You learned that even when there is no love and no fix for your dysfunctional family, there are still things you can do. It’s a matter of choosing your peace, because you deserve it.

              Everything will be better if you apply this knowledge. If you talk to that problematic family member. If you help them see the harm they are doing. If you make sure they do change and treat you the way you need to be treated…

              If you choose yourself over that toxic family member. If you refuse to justify the harm that others can do to yourself. If you realize the most important relationship you have is with yourself.

              And lastly, that you also have to be aware of your actions and be open to criticism. Because we might be unknowingly harming others. And that would be us creating a dysfunctionality. Don’t allow it to happen.

              Dysfunctional families are not impossible to fix. It just takes love, cooperation and responsibility.

              But if you tried and those elements are not present, just choose yourself instead.

              Featured photo credit: Xavier Mouton Photographie via unsplash.com

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