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So You Hired a Tutor, Now What?

So You Hired a Tutor, Now What?

If you’ve hired a tutor for your child, obviously you’ve decided your child needs more help than you can provide on the given topic. However, you may discover there are more questions than answers, like who decides what is covered, how much time is enough, should there be homework, and when is tutoring no longer needed? Before we can answer those questions, you need to know a few things yourself.

Why did you hire a tutor?

Not all families hire a tutor for the same reason. If your child needs help to learn a specific concept like borrowing in subtraction or to improve a general subject area like writing, the answers to those first questions will be different. Are you simply looking for homework support, help with overall organization, or is there a specific project to be completed? Many families find alternate ways to provide extra academic support without the extra expense (ie. neighbors, family, friends, sitters, au pairs, nannies, after-school, community, church or library programs).

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Make sure you set a goal before you hire a tutor

    Be sure you know why you have a tutor and have an idea of what to expect out of the relationship. After all, you are likely paying upwards of $25-$40 per hour for an experienced tutor (or even more from chains like TutorDoctor). Many tutors have basic ground rules, like communicate about changes to schedules, specifics of what will be covered, payment details, etc. Be clear with regard to these details whenever possible. Kids should know, too, that the tutor is here to help with a specific task and is to be treated as a professional.

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    Who decides what is covered?

    That depends on your reason for hiring. If you need a specific project completed, a specific skill mastered or regular homework help, the work of the tutor is mainly driven by the assignment at hand (ie. topic of the project, homework assigned that night). If a child is attempting to master subtraction with borrowing, for example, the tutor may use examples from the book, homework assignments, or provide manipulatives to practice the concept like base ten blocks, chips or others. If a child needs homework help, it would not make sense for the tutor to bring in extra work or make up additional assignments to add to the load. In my experience, parents do not provide materials or dictate specific content but may have suggestions about what might work best for their child. Both must have input; after all, it is the tutor who has the academic knowledge and the parent who knows their child best.

    Should there be homework?

    The answer again depends on the reason for tutoring.  If the tutor is hired to support the completion of some assignment or project, there should be interim steps completed without the tutor’s assistance. Progress should not come to a screeching halt without the tutor. Kids need to learn proactive steps to help themselves whenever possible, even if they will struggle. Encourage ownership and work ethic in every child, rather than dependence on others.

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    If you’ve hired a tutor to help with homework or organization, the “homework” should be to accurately complete daily assignments, write in a daily agenda or planner, and keep folders organized until the next meeting. While tutoring may occur once or twice a week, kids who need organizational support often need daily check-ins. This may happen by phone or email with a tutor, or become a task assigned to a parent, sitter or older sibling between tutoring sessions. Teachers may be willing to work with a tutor to provide consistent support from week to week.

    When is tutoring no longer needed?

    Naturally, the answer varies. For the individual who needs to improve organization or overall writing skills, there may be no clear end date. It may be when the student or parents feel there has been some progress, or a change in school year, teacher, attitude or approach may eliminate the need for tutoring. Often just the process of having a tutor, discussing the process of learning and becoming more aware of the steps to success will result in students taking more responsibility for their learning.

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    Generally speaking, with regular and focused sessions (on a specific concept, task or assignment), positive results may be seen right away or within a couple of weeks. Effort on the part of the student is required, though, for improvement and success. While I have tutored some kids for as long as two school years, the purpose and goals morphed over time with my students, responding to needs as they arose.

    Is it over yet?

    For whatever reason you decided to hire a tutor, be sure you have an idea of what your child’s learning or behavior will look like when he or she no longer needs the extra help. It may be that your child matures, finds success where he or she had struggled, or completes the desired project or assignment. When you feel the tutor has been successful or helpful to your child, ask your child to determine if he or she feels the same. Don’t pull the rug out from under a kid who still needs help, but also make sure your kid knows you may not pay for extra help indefinitely.

    On the other hand, if you’ve been paying a tutor and see no change after several weeks, it is fair to look for alternate ways to support your child (which you may have done before hiring a tutor). Talk to your child. Is there something he or she could be doing differently, does he or she have a desire to improve or are there other issues needing addressing? Even the best tutor with the most patience and the newest manipulatives cannot cure a bad attitude or motivate an unmotivated person. Consider a tutor as extra support, guided practice or help in times of struggle, not the solution to every academic or educational pitfall.

    Featured photo credit: Shutterstock via pixabay.com

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    Joan Lowell

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    Published on April 9, 2021

    50 Single Mom Quotes On Staying Strong And Loving

    50 Single Mom Quotes On Staying Strong And Loving

    Being a mom is not easy. Being a single mom is even more challenging. Having children means you are on the job 24/7. Even while you are sleeping, you are still ready to wake at the slightest peep because that is what moms do.

    Moms, especially single moms, need more people cheering them on. Your love and care matter to your kids. You are their superhero. I think single moms are superheroes, too.

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    The quotes below are words of encouragement for all of the single moms out there. Keep up the great work! Your hard work will pay off. Someday, they will be grown up and living on their own. Your job will never truly be done as a mom, but you can pat yourself on the back today and every day for doing mom duty day in and day out.

    Here are 50 single mom quotes to encourage all the single moms out there.

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    1. “Being raised by a single mother, I learned to appreciate and value independent women.”—Kenny Conley
    2. “As a single mum you’ll discover inner strengths and capabilities you never knew you had.”—Emma-Louise Smith
    3. “One thing I know for sure – this motherhood thing is not for sissies.”—Jennifer Nettles
    4. “Mothers and their children are in a category all their own. There’s no bond so strong in the entire world. No love so instantaneous and forgiving.”—Gail Tsukiyama
    5. “And one day she discovered that she was fierce and strong, and full of fire and that not even she could hold herself back because her passion burned brighter than her fears.”—Mark Anthony
    6. “She never quite leaves her children at home, even when she doesn’t take them along.”—Margaret Culkin Banning
    7. “The most common way people give up their power is by thinking they don’t have any.”—Alice Walker
    8. “Everyone has inside of her a piece of good news. The good news is that you don’t know how great you can be, how much you can love, what you can accomplish, and what your potential is.”—Anne Frank
    9. “Doubt is a killer. You just have to know who you are and what you stand for.”—Jennifer Lopez
    10. “You are more powerful than you know; you are beautiful just as you are.”—Melissa Etheridge
    11. “Motherhood is the greatest thing and the hardest thing.”—Ricki Lake
    12. “You don’t take a class; you’re thrown into motherhood and learn from experience.”—Jennie Finch
    13. “If you look at what you have in life, you’ll always have more. If you look at what you don’t have in life, you’ll never have enough.”—Oprah Winfrey
    14. “I am no bird; and no net ensnares me: I am a free human being with an independent will.”—Charlotte Brontë
    15. “Above all, be the heroine of your life, not the victim.”—Nora Ephron
    16. “When a woman becomes her own best friend life is easier.”—Diane Von Furstenberg
    17. “If you want something said, ask a man; if you want something done, ask a woman.”—Margaret Thatcher
    18. “Women have discovered that they cannot rely on men’s chivalry to give them justice.”—Helen Keller
    19. “Successful mothers are not the ones that have never struggled. They are the ones that never give up, despite the struggles.”—Sharon Jaynes
    20. “Success, they taught me, is built on the foundation of courage, hard work, and individual responsibility. Despite what some would have us believe, success is not built on resentment and fears.”—Susana Martinez
    21. “You may not control all the events that happen to you, but you can decide not to be reduced by them.”—Maya Angelou
    22. “The question isn’t who’s going to let me; it’s who is going to stop me.”—Ayn Rand
    23. “God could not be everywhere, and therefore he made mothers.”—Rudyard Kipling
    24. “The women whom I love and admire for their strength and grace did not get that way because stuff worked out. They got that way because stuff went wrong, and they handled it. They handled it in a thousand different ways on a thousand different days, but they handled it. Those women are my superheroes.”—Elizabeth Gilbert
    25. “There will be so many times you feel like you failed. But in the eyes, ears, and mind of your child, you are a SUPER MOM.”—Stephanie Precourt
    26. “Motherhood is the ultimate call to sacrifice.”—Wangechi Mutu
    27. “We may encounter many defeats but we must not be defeated.”—Maya Angelou
    28. “A mother’s arms are more comforting than anyone else’s.”—Princess Diana
    29. “There’s no way to be a perfect mother and a million ways to be a good one.”—Jill Churchill
    30. “There’s no doubt that motherhood is the best thing in my life. It’s all that really matters.”—Courtney Cox
    31. “I realized when you look at your mother, you are looking at the purest love you will ever know.”—Mitch Albom
    32. “I have found being a mother has made me emotionally raw in many situations. Your heart is beating outside your body when you have a baby.”—Kate Beckinsale
    33. “Single moms, you are a doctor, a teacher, a nurse, a maid, a cook, a referee, a heroine, a provider, a defender, a protector, a true Superwoman. Wear your cape proudly.”—Mandy Hale
    34. “I’m not really single. I mean, I am, but I have a son. Being a single mother is different from being a single woman.”—Kate Hudson
    35. “Being a single parent is twice the work, twice the stress, and twice the tears but also twice the hugs, twice the love, and twice the pride.”—Unknown
    36. “For me, motherhood is learning about the strengths I didn’t know I had, and dealing with the fears I didn’t know existed.”—Halle Berry
    37. “A single mom tries when things are hard. She never gives up. She believes in her family, even when things are tough. She knows that above all things… a mother’s love is more than enough.”—Denice Williams
    38. “You do the best you can. Some days you feel really good about yourself and some days you don’t.”—Katie Holmes
    39. “I would say to any single parent currently feeling the weight of stereotype or stigmatization that I am prouder of my years as a single mother than of any other part of my life.”JK Rowling
    40. “Just because I am a single mother doesn’t mean I cannot be a success.”—Yvonne Kaloki
    41. “I didn’t plan on being a single mom, but you have to deal with the cards you are dealt the best way you can.”—Tichina Arnold
    42. “Nothing you do for children is ever wasted.”—Garrison Keillor
    43. “A single mom tries when things are hard. She never gives up. She believes in her family, even when things are tough. She knows that above all things, a mother’s love is more than enough.”—Deniece Williams
    44. “Motherhood has a very humanizing effect. Everything gets reduced to essentials.”—Meryl Streep
    45. “Having kids—the responsibility of rearing good, kind, ethical, responsible human beings—is the biggest job anyone can embark on.”—Maria Shriver
    46. “Mother is a verb. It’s something you do. Not just who you are.”—Cheryl Lacey Donovan
    47. “A mother’s love for her child is like nothing else in the world. It knows no law, no pity, it dates all things and crushes down remorselessly all that stands in its path.”—Agatha Christie
    48. “A mother’s arms are more comforting than anyone else’s.”—Princess Diana
    49. “The hand that rocks the cradle is the hand that rules the world.”—W.R. Wallace
    50. “Being a mother is the greatest blessing and the hardest challenge in all of life.”—Dr. Magdalena Battles

    Final Thoughts

    Single moms are remarkable women. They are to be respected and honored for all that they do. If you know a single mom, then share this article with them. Tell them “you are doing a great job as a single mom.” They need our encouragement and support.

    They may be parenting alone, but it is good to let them know that there are people in their life who care for them. We can all be there for the single moms out there. Even if it is just to say, “keep up the great work, you are an amazing woman!”

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    If you are a single mom, keep up the good work! You are amazing, and your kids are lucky to have you!

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    Featured photo credit: Alexander Dummer via unsplash.com

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