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Why Couples Who Post Less About Their Relationships On Social Media Are Happier

Why Couples Who Post Less About Their Relationships On Social Media Are Happier

Social media is so popular these days that it almost is like having a drug addiction. If you think about it, what would you do on your phone when you’re bored if you didn’t have the apps to Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, etc.? It is so important now that it literally has the power to destroy relationships.

Discussing whether or not those relationships were solid is a completely different conversation. Before social media, people had plenty of privacy. Now people have become so involved they no longer know the difference between privacy and what is intentionally being kept a secret. Arguments can get started in a relationship when one person wants to keep the relationship from becoming “official” on social media to keep it private. As a result, the other person may feel that their significant other is trying to keep the relationship a secret.

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If you ever feel that you need social media to validate the relationship you are in, perhaps the person you are with is wrong for you.

Live in the here and now

Sometimes couples get so engulfed in social media that they spend more time posting about their relationship that they aren’t really enjoying it in the present moment fully. When they’re out, they’re updating their status on where they are instead of just putting the phone down and enjoying their time with their significant other.

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When two people are in a relationship and choose to keep it off social media it allows for the couple to completely enjoy the time they are spending together while getting the most out of the experience they share. Being in this mindset, the couples know they don’t have anything to prove to anyone but to each other. They tend to be happier and much more secure with themselves and with each other.

Seek validation from your partner instead of through social media

Some couples post frequently on social media to create the illusion that everything in their relationship is perfect. Have you ever then seen that same couple in real life and it sometimes seems as though they truly cannot be bothered with each other? It’s true, and it happens more than you’d think. Sometimes people are unhappy in their relationship so they post a picture with their significant other, receive positive comments and a ton of likes, and somehow they can receive the validation that they should be getting from their partner.

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If you’re in a relationship with someone and you feel that you may have done this before, don’t beat yourself up over it because truthfully, most of us have probably done it at one point or another. When you’re feeling like you need some validation in your relationship, it’s important to remember that going to your partner and expressing your needs is the best way to do it. Put the phone down, communication is key.

Keep others out of your business

When someone gets mad at their significant other or has a problem, they use their status to broadcast the problem for everyone to know about. In most cases, the person who posts the status will get an obnoxious amount of comments that are really just irrelevant opinions. This opens the gates to letting people in on your personal business.

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When this happens, nosey people become involved in your relationship. They act like they care enough about you to find out exactly what’s going on in your relationship just so they can turn around and have something to gossip about. Soon enough everyone knows your business and honestly, we all know that’s how rumors start.

Please keep in mind that a relationship is for two people, and it’s important to keep many things about the relationship private. The good and the bad.

Pressures of social media

The problem with social media is that its initial purpose is now being used by some as a personal diary. Some people can’t seem to wake up and do anything before posting about their personal life]. For example, I have seen posts on social media from a girl I know who likes to make public announcements when her boyfriend isn’t “acting right”. Tons of people swarm in and leave their two cents. This girl has three children. Not only is she embarrassing herself and the father of her children, but also her children. People do not understand the influence social media has on others. When this girl and her boyfriend kiss and makeup, she makes a point to post on social media about how everything is going well and they are doing better than ever. I can’t imagine how exhausting it must be to feel the need to constantly update people on what is going on in your personal life.

In closing, everyone knows that not every relationship is always rainbows and butterflies. As you and your partner experience life together you are certainly going to have disagreements and strains on your relationship. As previously stated, when two people come together in a relationship, it is special and it is sacred. Do your best to keep your relationship private. Put your phone away and enjoy the time you have with them.

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Erica Wagner

Erica is a passionate writer who shares inspiring ideas and lifestyle tips on Lifehack.

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Last Updated on October 20, 2020

10 Principles for Success to Start Living Your Dream Life

10 Principles for Success to Start Living Your Dream Life

Are you stressed out and overwhelmed, wishing you had more time to do the things that really matter? Are you ready to do something better, something special in your life or your career? If you’re ready to take responsibility for your life, then you need to tap into some principles for success.

Many people—maybe you—stopped following their passion and purpose way too early in life because their talents were ignored, minimized, or shamed. They didn’t have the chops to win an American Idol competition or nab an Olympic gold medal, so they stopped expressing their inborn gifts altogether.

You don’t need to be an award winner to rock your life. Living your dream life is about discovering your superpowers and feeling vibrant and joyful when you use them. It’s about owning what makes you unique and finding like-minded people to support you.

Here are 10 success principles to help you reach your goals and live a rich life on your terms.

1. Get a Hobby to Move Closer to Your Dreams

If you never became a professional dancer or a world-renowned author, it does NOT mean you should stop dancing or writing! These activities make you come alive, even if you “only” do them as favorite pastimes.

Engaging in a hobby is one of the most important success principles you can follow to move closer to your dreams.

When you try something creative for the first time or in a long while, you begin to see opportunities at work and in life that you were unaware of before. You also feel happier and more energized, according to a recent study from New Zealand[1].

Some of my most burned-out executive clients reinvigorated their careers by discovering a creative outlet that refueled them after the workday ended. Research at San Francisco State University shows that having a hobby lowers stress and helps you succeed at work[2].

Give yourself permission to try new things and revisit old passions you gave up long ago. Setting aside just one hour a week for personal exploration can significantly change your life and help you focus on goal setting.

2. Focus on Your Strengths

Did you know that you are more likely to succeed when you develop your natural strengths rather than work on your weaknesses? The problem is that you probably don’t know where your true talents lie.

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Once you understand what makes you tick, you can use these skills at work and your personal life to get more done in less time. If you boost your unique abilities through practice and study, you can accelerate your career and become a leader in a field that matters to you. It’s worth investing in yourself this way.

3. Jumping off a Cliff is NOT Required

Here’s the deal: most people are too afraid to change. When participants first come to my workshops, they tell me they have mouths to feed, bills to pay, and fear that if they follow their dreams, someone will get hurt.

The old saying “leap and the net shall appear” does not comfort them. Because they are hesitant to plunge into the unknown, they believe their only option is to stay put where they are in life. Can you relate?

You do not have to sacrifice the life you have now to start a new one. I was a psychology professor by day and singer by night for years before I transitioned into a full-time music career.

To use this principle for success, take a little time out each week to do what enlivens you through a hobby, volunteer work, etc. Get a feel for it. Is it what you really want? If it’s what you really want to be doing, increase the time you spend doing it and make the transition when the time feels right.

4. Give Your Inner Critic Some Love

The main culprit that keeps you from stepping outside your comfort zone and getting the life of your dreams is KCRP or K-CRAP, the radio station that plays 24/7 in your head. The moment you try to do something interesting with your life, it slaps you down with such chart-topping killer hooks as “Who do you think you are?” and “You’ll never be good enough!”.

Have you ever noticed that KCRP’s mean-spirited DJ sounds like your parents, teachers, bosses, and other authority figures who shut you down creatively? These folks don’t need to stifle you any longer (although they often still do) because your inner critic does it for them. That keeps you stuck in a rut[3].

Silencing your inner critic is one of the best principles for success.

    To break free, try thinking of this DJ as a gruff old grandfather who gives you crap to keep you safe. Remember, this grumpy grandpa is woefully out of touch with the times. Give him a pat on the back for his good intentions, and put your focus back on what makes you come alive.

    This is one of the principles for success that will give you the courage to venture into the unknown where you can dance to the beat of your own drummer.

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    5. Embrace Your Inner Self

    Many of us don’t go after our dreams because we’re afraid people will find out how odd or strange we are. However, our little eccentricities often turn out to be our greatest strengths.

    Odds are that you lost track of your true passions and talents before you were even old enough to know you were getting off-track. You became slowly “adulterated” by learning to:

    • Take on family roles that don’t match who you really are.
    • Spit back what teachers taught you in school rather than risk getting bad grades for being original.
    • Hide parts of yourself that don’t seem acceptable to certain social groups.

    The price for fitting in is that you may wind up leading a life that doesn’t fit you all that well. Your true calling becomes clear when you embrace what makes you different from others and allow yourself to stand out from the crowd, even if it feels awkward. Often, the very qualities you view as your flaws are your greatest gifts.

    Here’s How to Listen to Your Inner Voice for Greater Fulfillment.

    6. See the Bigger Picture to Find Your True Calling

    I cannot stress the importance of this success principle enough. Your true calling is right in front of you, but you may miss it because you’re looking for it in the wrong place.

    To “see” it clearly, try widening your point of view.

    Case in point: Maria felt she needed to retire early from being a police detective, so she could travel abroad. I encouraged Maria to think of ways that she could continue to serve as a law enforcer (a career she loved) and travel overseas at the same time.

    A few months later, Maria landed a job with the United Nations in Bosnia training the local police force to understand and embrace human rights procedures.

    Like Maria, you are an everyday rock star capable of accomplishing greater things than you can imagine. Is what you’re looking for right in front of you, too? Do you have an inkling of what it may be?

    Look beyond your day-to-day activities, your current job, and even the town you live in. View your life from an eagle’s perspective and be open to new possibilities.

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    7. Try a Little Wish-List Magic

    Pretend I’m your fairy godmother, and I give you permission right now to be your most magnificent self. What kind of life would be music to your ears? It doesn’t matter whether it seems unattainable or even downright crazy. Write it down on a wish list.

    What would you like your career, your relationships, your health, your finances, and your spiritual life to be like? Jot down enough details so that your wishes seem tangible to you. Then, look at this list every morning before you start your day and every night before you go to sleep.

    8. Take Breaks to Get Clues About Your Ideal Future

    Did you know that working straight through to a deadline leads to diminishing returns? Research shows that taking a break for 15 minutes every 75 to 90 minutes can help you recharge, refresh your focus, and get more done in less time[4].

    Furthermore, a Stanford study shows that walking increases your creative output by 60 percent. Doing repetitive activities such as walking, running, riding your bike, swimming, and sweeping allow solutions to problems to pop into your mind out of nowhere[5].

    What does this success principle have to do with creating your dream life?

    These mini-breaks allow you to get vital clues for what to do next to attain your ideal future. Plus, you won’t waste precious time and energy getting lost in other people’s agendas.

    9. Take Action on Your Inspired Ideas

    Once an inspired thought pops into your mind, take action.

    This is one of the most powerful principles for success for turning your dreams into reality; the sooner the better. Whatever it is—from calling an old friend to taking a new route home—be sure to do it!

    Pay attention to your oddball hunches. You need to go after what you want, not just dream about it. As comedian Jim Carrey warns,

    “You can’t just visualize and go eat a sandwich.”

    To learn more about how to get off autopilot and take specific actions towards your goals, check out this video:

    10. Count Your Rockstar Moments

    Still not sure you have what it takes to get your dream life? This final success principle is guaranteed to help.

    Make a list of everything you’ve ever accomplished. As you read back through it, put a star next to each item, and let it sink in.

    You’ll be pleasantly surprised by how good you’ll feel about yourself afterward. You’ll also see how effective you’ve been in the past at getting what you want. You’ve succeeded before, and you can succeed again.

    Final Thoughts

    Eleanor Roosevelt said,

    “The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams.”

    Following these principles for success will help you find the time and energy to achieve your goals and live with clear intention.

    Stand still, get quiet, and listen. Your life is constantly telling you what you need to do to realize your own rock star potential in life and business. It may be just a whisper now, but the more you pay attention to it, the louder it will get, and the easier it will be to follow.

    More About Success in Life

    Featured photo credit: Rahul Dey via unsplash.com

    Reference

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