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Why Couples Who Post Less About Their Relationships On Social Media Are Happier

Why Couples Who Post Less About Their Relationships On Social Media Are Happier

Social media is so popular these days that it almost is like having a drug addiction. If you think about it, what would you do on your phone when you’re bored if you didn’t have the apps to Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, etc.? It is so important now that it literally has the power to destroy relationships.

Discussing whether or not those relationships were solid is a completely different conversation. Before social media, people had plenty of privacy. Now people have become so involved they no longer know the difference between privacy and what is intentionally being kept a secret. Arguments can get started in a relationship when one person wants to keep the relationship from becoming “official” on social media to keep it private. As a result, the other person may feel that their significant other is trying to keep the relationship a secret.

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If you ever feel that you need social media to validate the relationship you are in, perhaps the person you are with is wrong for you.

Live in the here and now

Sometimes couples get so engulfed in social media that they spend more time posting about their relationship that they aren’t really enjoying it in the present moment fully. When they’re out, they’re updating their status on where they are instead of just putting the phone down and enjoying their time with their significant other.

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When two people are in a relationship and choose to keep it off social media it allows for the couple to completely enjoy the time they are spending together while getting the most out of the experience they share. Being in this mindset, the couples know they don’t have anything to prove to anyone but to each other. They tend to be happier and much more secure with themselves and with each other.

Seek validation from your partner instead of through social media

Some couples post frequently on social media to create the illusion that everything in their relationship is perfect. Have you ever then seen that same couple in real life and it sometimes seems as though they truly cannot be bothered with each other? It’s true, and it happens more than you’d think. Sometimes people are unhappy in their relationship so they post a picture with their significant other, receive positive comments and a ton of likes, and somehow they can receive the validation that they should be getting from their partner.

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If you’re in a relationship with someone and you feel that you may have done this before, don’t beat yourself up over it because truthfully, most of us have probably done it at one point or another. When you’re feeling like you need some validation in your relationship, it’s important to remember that going to your partner and expressing your needs is the best way to do it. Put the phone down, communication is key.

Keep others out of your business

When someone gets mad at their significant other or has a problem, they use their status to broadcast the problem for everyone to know about. In most cases, the person who posts the status will get an obnoxious amount of comments that are really just irrelevant opinions. This opens the gates to letting people in on your personal business.

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When this happens, nosey people become involved in your relationship. They act like they care enough about you to find out exactly what’s going on in your relationship just so they can turn around and have something to gossip about. Soon enough everyone knows your business and honestly, we all know that’s how rumors start.

Please keep in mind that a relationship is for two people, and it’s important to keep many things about the relationship private. The good and the bad.

Pressures of social media

The problem with social media is that its initial purpose is now being used by some as a personal diary. Some people can’t seem to wake up and do anything before posting about their personal life]. For example, I have seen posts on social media from a girl I know who likes to make public announcements when her boyfriend isn’t “acting right”. Tons of people swarm in and leave their two cents. This girl has three children. Not only is she embarrassing herself and the father of her children, but also her children. People do not understand the influence social media has on others. When this girl and her boyfriend kiss and makeup, she makes a point to post on social media about how everything is going well and they are doing better than ever. I can’t imagine how exhausting it must be to feel the need to constantly update people on what is going on in your personal life.

In closing, everyone knows that not every relationship is always rainbows and butterflies. As you and your partner experience life together you are certainly going to have disagreements and strains on your relationship. As previously stated, when two people come together in a relationship, it is special and it is sacred. Do your best to keep your relationship private. Put your phone away and enjoy the time you have with them.

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Erica Wagner

Freelance Writer

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Last Updated on September 17, 2018

7 Signs of an Unhappy Relationship That Makes You Feel Stuck

7 Signs of an Unhappy Relationship That Makes You Feel Stuck

Relationships are complicated and when you’re unhappy, it can be difficult to tell what’s causing it and what needs to change.

Sometimes it’s as easy as opening up to your partner about your problems, while other times it may be necessary to switch partners or roll solo to get your mind straight.

When you’re in the thick of things, it can be difficult to tell if you’re unhappy in your relationship or just unhappy in general (in which case, a relationship may be just the cure you need).

Here’re signs of an unhappy relationship that is possibly making you feel stuck:

1. You’re depressed about your home life.

No matter what you do in life, you’re going to have good and bad days. Your relationship is no different.

However, no matter what you’re going through at home, you have to feel comfortable in your own home.

If you constantly dread going home because your significant other is there, there’s a problem. Maybe it’s something you already know about, everyone has an argument or just needs some alone time.

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When that yearning to be alone becomes an insatiable obsession over the course of months and years, it’s time to realize you’re not the exception to the rule.

You’re unhappy in your relationship, and you need to take a look in the mirror and do whatever it takes to make yourself smile.

2. You aren’t comfortable being yourself.

Remember all those things you discovered about yourself when you first got together? The way your partner made you feel when you met that made you fall in love with him or her in the first place.

If they don’t make you feel that way anymore, it’s not the end of the world. If your partner makes you uncomfortable about being you, then her or she is only dragging you down. It’s up to you to decide how to handle that.

You need to be comfortable with who you are. This means being comfortable in your skin and with the way you walk, talk, look, breath, move, and all the other things that make you uniquely you.

If the person who supposedly loves you doesn’t make you feel good about yourself, know that you can do better. They’re not even one in a billion.

3. You can’t stop snooping.

Mutual trust is necessary in any relationship. The only way to get that trust is with respect.

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I can find you anywhere online, no matter how private and secure you think you are. The odds of you having a password I can’t crack are slim. If we’ve met in person, I could install a remote key logger on your device without even touching it.

Finding your information online hardly takes a clandestine organization. Any idiot with a Wi-Fi-enabled device can cyberstalk you. I’m just the only idiot in the village admitting it.

So now that we know everyone snoops, it’s time to address your personal habits. Governments snoop because they don’t trust us. If you’re snooping on your partner, it’s because you don’t trust them.

It’s ok to have doubts, and it’s perfectly normal to look into anything that looks weird, but keep in mind that data collection is only half of an investigation.

If you find yourself constantly snooping and questioning everything, clearly there’s a trust issue and the relationship likely needs to end.

4. You’re afraid of commitment.

If you’ve been dating longer than a year and you aren’t engaged, it’s never going to happen.

Commitment is important. People will come up with a million ways to describe why they can’t be committed.

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No matter who you are if you like it, you need to put a ring on it. Find an engagement ring, stick a gemstone in it and marry the person. If you’re not legally able to get married or you don’t believe in it for one reason or another, have a child (or adopt one, however you’re able to) or treat your partner’s family like your own. It’s a huge financial and mental commitment.

If you’re not ready for one or the other after some time, don’t waste anymore of your precious life on the relationship.

Your relationship should be something that propels you forward. If it’s not going anywhere, make it an open relationship and call it what it is—dating multiple people.

5. You imagine a happier life without your partner.

If all you’re doing is imagining a happier life without your partner, it’s a sign that you’re in the wrong relationship. You’re unhappy and you need to get out.

Your partner should be included in your dreams. There’s nothing wrong with wanting a future with someone.

Try to remember what you dreamed of before you got your heart broken by the realities of life, love and the pursuit of human success.

Remember when you would crush on that cute kid in class? You would secretly imagine marrying him or her and going on an adventure—that’s the way life should be.

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If you’re not at least imagining adventures together, then why are you in that relationship?

6. You resent, rather than love your partner.

When a relationship starts to crumble, you begin to resent your partner for all the things you once loved about him or her.

When you’ve reached this point, your partner has reached at least No. 2 on this list. From your partner’s perspective, your unhappiness with them is picked up as bashing them for being who they are.

If you’re both unhappy in the relationship, it’s better if it ends as quickly and painlessly as possible.

7. You chase past feelings.

It’s okay to reminisce about the past, but if all you do is wish things were like they used to be, it’s a sign you’re not on the right path.

You’re unhappy and, at the very least, you need to have an open dialogue about it. This isn’t necessarily a sign that the relationship should end, but it definitely needs a spark.

When you talk to your partner candidly about what it is you’re looking for, you never know how they’ll react. The risk alone is worth it, good or bad.

Final thoughts

If you’re feeling stuck in your current relationship, it’s time to reflect about it with your partner. Don’t ignore these signs of an unhappy relationship as they will slowly go worse and harm both you and your partner in long-term.

Featured photo credit: josh peterson via unsplash.com

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