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Many People Get Stuck At The Third Stage Of Love – What To Do To Be The Exceptional Ones?

Many People Get Stuck At The Third Stage Of Love – What To Do To Be The Exceptional Ones?

All romantic relationships are unique in their own way, but they also have many things in common. Most people who start a relationship want to find genuine, lasting love, whether they are in their 20s or their 60s. However, lots of relationships break down and both partners are left wondering why. They might think that they found the wrong person or that they are not ready for a long-term relationship – but the problem might be that they can’t get past Stage Three.

Jed Diamond is an author who created the five stages of love. He believes that most people think that stage three is the end of their relationship, when in reality it is the beginning of long-term love.

If you want to know how to make a relationship last, you need to understand the five stages of love.

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How To Make A Relationship Last Using The Five Stages Of Love

1. Falling in Love

The first stage of love is falling in love. Falling in love feels amazing as our bodies have higher levels of dopamine, serotonin, oxytocin, estrogen and testosterone. At this point you think that the person you love is wonderful, and you tend to focus on their best traits rather than their worst traits.

While this does feel great, it can give people slightly unrealistic rose-tinted glasses, especially when you consider that people in love can also pin their hopes and dreams on their new love. If you want to find a love that will last, try to be aware that your love isn’t perfect; they have good traits and bad traits, just like anyone else.

2. Starting A Relationship

Stage Two happens when the love deepens and both people are ready to join as a couple. The couple will make some kind of commitment towards each other; maybe they will get engaged, or buy a home together, or have children. This gives the couple the chance to bond even more and learn more about each other.

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The honeymoon period is now over, and the couple find their relationship emotionally fulfilling and satisfying, rather than exciting and new. This creates a sense of security that can be destroyed if the couple do not make it past Stage Three.

3. Becoming Disillusioned

If you really want to know how to make a relationship last, you and your partner must be able to move past Stage Three together. Stage Three is when both partners become disillusioned with each other, which can signal the end of the relationship or marriage. Both partners start to feel less loved, and they will start fighting and disagreeing more. This can cause both partners to feel angry and withdrawn; they may even start to feel trapped.

If you want to make your relationship last, you and your partner must both accept that this stage is natural and normal. You can choose to push each other away and become withdrawn, or you can focus on your initial love for each other and try to solve the problems that arise. If you do this, the relationship will continue and you will have a newfound love and respect for each other. Remember that the problems aren’t caused by the fact that you are with the wrong person; they are natural problems that arise in any happy, long-term relationship.

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4. Creating Lasting Love Together

The fourth step is creating a happy, lasting love together. Together you and your partner need to sit down and get to the core of what causes problems in your relationship. Maybe your partner had a difficult childhood, which means that they struggle to show emotion. Maybe you had a bad relationship and you often worry that your partner will treat you like you ex did.

This step is important as you both need to address and understand your emotional wounds. If you don’t, you will continue to hurt each other without understanding why. Your partner loves you, and they should be able to see you and love you for who you are.

5. Using Your Love To Influence Others

The final step is using your love to improve the lives of others. If two people can work past their problems and find happiness together, they share a powerful love. They can push this love out into the world around them; they can share it with their friends, families and co-workers to encourage them and improve their lives.

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By understanding the five stages of love, you’ll be able to better understand the progression of your relationship. You’ll be able to better work things out when issues occur.

More by this author

Amy Johnson

Amy is a writer who blogs about relationships and lifestyle advice.

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Last Updated on July 18, 2019

What Makes People Happy? 20 Secrets of “Always Happy” People

What Makes People Happy? 20 Secrets of “Always Happy” People

Some people just seem to float through life with a relentless sense of happiness – through the toughest of times, they’re unfazed and aloof, stopping to smell the roses and drinking out of a glass half full.

They may not have much to be happy about, but the simplicity behind that fact itself may make them happy.

It’s all a matter of perspective, conscious effort and self-awareness. Listed below are a number of reasons why some people are always happy.

1. They Manage Their Expectations

They’re not crushed when they don’t get what they want – or misled into expecting to get the most out of every situation. They approach every situation pragmatically, hoping for the best but being prepared for the worst.

2. They Don’t Set Unrealistic Standards

Similar to the last point, they don’t live their lives in a constant pursuit towards impossible visions of perfection, only to always find themselves falling short of what they want.

3. They Don’t Take Anything for Granted

Happiness rests with feeling fulfilled – those who fail to stop and appreciate what they have every now and again will never experience true fulfillment.

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4. They’re Not Materialistic

There are arguing viewpoints on whether or not money can really buy happiness; if it can, then we know from experience that we can never be satisfied because there will always be something newer or better that we want. Who has ever had enough money?

5. They Don’t Dwell

They don’t sweat the small things or waste time worrying about things that don’t really matter at the end of the day. They don’t let negative thoughts latch onto them and drain them or distract them. Life’s too short to worry.

6. They Care About Themselves First

They’re independent, care for themselves and understand that they must put their needs first in order to accommodate the needs of others.

They indulge, aim to get what they want, make time for themselves and are extremely self-reliant.

7. They Enjoy the Little Things

They stop to smell the roses. They’re accustomed to find serenity when it’s available, to welcome entertainment or a stimulating discussion with a stranger when it crosses their path. They don’t overlook the small things in life that can be just as important.

8. They Can Adapt

They’re not afraid of change and they work to make the most out of new circumstances, good or bad. They thrive under pressure, are not overwhelmed easily and always embrace a change of pace.

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9. They Experiment

They try new things, experience new flavors and never shy away from something they have yet to experience. They never order twice from the same menu.

10. They Take Their Time

They don’t unnecessarily rush through life. They work on their own schedule to the extent that they can and maneuver through life at their own relaxing pace.

11. They Employ Different Perspectives

They’re not stuck in one perspective; a loss can result in a new opportunity, hitting rock bottom can mean that there’s no where to go but up.

12. They Seek to Learn

Their constant pursuit of knowledge keeps them inspired and interested in life. They cherish information and are on a life-long quest to learn as much as they can.

13. They Always Have a Plan

They don’t find themselves drifting without purpose. When something doesn’t go as planned, they have a plan for every letter in the alphabet to fall back on.

14. They Give Respect to Get It

They are respectful and, in turn, are seen as respectable; the respect they exude earns them the respect they deserve.

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15. They Consider Every Opportunity

They always have their eyes open for a new road, a new avenue worth exploring. They know how to recognize opportune moments and pounce on them to make the most of every situation. Success is inevitable for them.

16. They Always Seek to Improve

Perpetual self-improvement is the key towards their ongoing thirst for success. Whatever it is they do, they take pride in getting better and better, from social interactions to mundane tasks. Their pursuit at being the best eventually materializes.

17. They Don’t Take Life Too Seriously

They’re not ones to get offended easily over-analyze or complicate matters. They laugh at their own faults and misfortunes.

18. They Live in the Moment

They don’t live for tomorrow or dwell on what may have happened yesterday. Every day is a new opportunity, a new chapter. They live in the now, and in doing so, get the most out of every moment.

You can learn how to do so too: How to Live in the Moment and Stop Worrying About the Past or Future

19. They Say Yes

Much more often than they say no. They don’t have to be badgered to go out, don’t shy away from new opportunities or anything that may seem inconvenient.

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20. They’re Self-Aware

Most important, they’re wholly aware of themselves. They self-reflect and are conscious of their states of mind. If somethings bothering them, they fix it.

We’re all susceptible to feeling down every now and again, but we are all equipped with the necessary solutions that just have to be discovered.

Lack of confidence, inability to feel fulfilled, and susceptibility to stress are all matters that can be controlled through the way we handle our lives and perceive our circumstances.

Learn about How Self-Reflection Gives You a Happier and More Successful Life.

Final Thoughts

The main philosophy employed by the happiest includes the idea that life’s simply too short: life’s too short to let things get you down, to take things for granted, to pursue absolute and unrealistic perfection.

For some, employing these characteristics is a second nature – they do it without knowing. For others, a conscious effort must be put forth every now and again. Self-Awareness is key.

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Featured photo credit: Charles Postiaux via unsplash.com

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