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Many People Get Stuck At The Third Stage Of Love – What To Do To Be The Exceptional Ones?

Many People Get Stuck At The Third Stage Of Love – What To Do To Be The Exceptional Ones?

All romantic relationships are unique in their own way, but they also have many things in common. Most people who start a relationship want to find genuine, lasting love, whether they are in their 20s or their 60s. However, lots of relationships break down and both partners are left wondering why. They might think that they found the wrong person or that they are not ready for a long-term relationship – but the problem might be that they can’t get past Stage Three.

Jed Diamond is an author who created the five stages of love. He believes that most people think that stage three is the end of their relationship, when in reality it is the beginning of long-term love.

If you want to know how to make a relationship last, you need to understand the five stages of love.

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How To Make A Relationship Last Using The Five Stages Of Love

1. Falling in Love

The first stage of love is falling in love. Falling in love feels amazing as our bodies have higher levels of dopamine, serotonin, oxytocin, estrogen and testosterone. At this point you think that the person you love is wonderful, and you tend to focus on their best traits rather than their worst traits.

While this does feel great, it can give people slightly unrealistic rose-tinted glasses, especially when you consider that people in love can also pin their hopes and dreams on their new love. If you want to find a love that will last, try to be aware that your love isn’t perfect; they have good traits and bad traits, just like anyone else.

2. Starting A Relationship

Stage Two happens when the love deepens and both people are ready to join as a couple. The couple will make some kind of commitment towards each other; maybe they will get engaged, or buy a home together, or have children. This gives the couple the chance to bond even more and learn more about each other.

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The honeymoon period is now over, and the couple find their relationship emotionally fulfilling and satisfying, rather than exciting and new. This creates a sense of security that can be destroyed if the couple do not make it past Stage Three.

3. Becoming Disillusioned

If you really want to know how to make a relationship last, you and your partner must be able to move past Stage Three together. Stage Three is when both partners become disillusioned with each other, which can signal the end of the relationship or marriage. Both partners start to feel less loved, and they will start fighting and disagreeing more. This can cause both partners to feel angry and withdrawn; they may even start to feel trapped.

If you want to make your relationship last, you and your partner must both accept that this stage is natural and normal. You can choose to push each other away and become withdrawn, or you can focus on your initial love for each other and try to solve the problems that arise. If you do this, the relationship will continue and you will have a newfound love and respect for each other. Remember that the problems aren’t caused by the fact that you are with the wrong person; they are natural problems that arise in any happy, long-term relationship.

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4. Creating Lasting Love Together

The fourth step is creating a happy, lasting love together. Together you and your partner need to sit down and get to the core of what causes problems in your relationship. Maybe your partner had a difficult childhood, which means that they struggle to show emotion. Maybe you had a bad relationship and you often worry that your partner will treat you like you ex did.

This step is important as you both need to address and understand your emotional wounds. If you don’t, you will continue to hurt each other without understanding why. Your partner loves you, and they should be able to see you and love you for who you are.

5. Using Your Love To Influence Others

The final step is using your love to improve the lives of others. If two people can work past their problems and find happiness together, they share a powerful love. They can push this love out into the world around them; they can share it with their friends, families and co-workers to encourage them and improve their lives.

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By understanding the five stages of love, you’ll be able to better understand the progression of your relationship. You’ll be able to better work things out when issues occur.

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Amy Johnson

Freelance writer, editor and social media manager.

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Last Updated on November 15, 2018

Success In Reaching Goals Is Determined By Mindset

Success In Reaching Goals Is Determined By Mindset

What do you think it takes to achieve your goals? Hard work? Lots of actions? While these are paramount to becoming successful in reaching our goals, neither of these are possible without a positive mindset.

As humans, we naturally tend to lean towards a negative outlook when it comes to our hopes and dreams. We are prone to believing that we have limitations either from within ourselves or from external forces keeping us from truly getting to where we want to be in life. Our tendency to think that we’ll “believe it when we see it” suggests that our mindsets are focused on our goals not really being attainable until they’ve been achieved. The problem with this is that this common mindset fuels our limiting beliefs and shows a lack of faith in ourselves.

The Success Mindset

Success in achieving our goals comes down to a ‘success mindset’. Successful mindsets are those focused on victory, based on positive mental attitudes, empowering inclinations and good habits. Acquiring a success mindset is the sure-fire way to dramatically increase your chance to achieve your goals.

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The idea that achieving our goals comes down to our habits and actions is actually a typical type of mindset that misses a crucial point; that our mindset is, in fact, the determiner of our energy and what actions we take. A negative mindset will tend to create negative actions and similarly if we have a mindset that will only set into action once we see ‘proof’ that our goals are achievable, then the road will be much longer and arduous. This is why, instead of thinking “I’ll believe it when I see it”, a success mindset will think “I’ll see it when I believe it.”

The Placebo Effect and What It Shows Us About The Power of Mindset

The placebo effect is a perfect example of how mindset really can be powerful. In scientific trials, a group of participants were told they received medication that will heal an ailment but were actually given a sugar pill that does nothing (the placebo). Yet after the trial the participants believed it’s had a positive effect – sometimes even cured their ailment even though nothing has changed. This is the power of mindset.

How do we apply this to our goals? Well, when we set goals and dreams how often do we really believe they’ll come to fruition? Have absolute faith that they can be achieved? Have a complete unwavering expectation? Most of us don’t because we hold on to negative mindsets and limiting beliefs about ourselves that stop us from fully believing we are capable or that it’s at all possible. We tend to listen to the opinions of others despite them misaligning with our own or bow to societal pressures that make us believe we should think and act a certain way. There are many reasons why we possess these types of mindsets but a success mindset can be achieved.

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How To Create a Success Mindset

People with success mindsets have a particular way of perceiving things. They have positive outlooks and are able to put faith fully in their ability to succeed. With that in mind, here are a few ways that can turn a negative mindset into a successful one.

1. A Success Mindset Comes From a Growth Mindset

How does a mindset even manifest itself? It comes from the way you talk to yourself in the privacy of your own head. Realising this will go a long way towards noticing how you speak to yourself and others around you. If it’s mainly negative language you use when you talk about your goals and aspirations then this is an example of a fixed mindset.

A negative mindset brings with it a huge number of limiting beliefs. It creates a fixed mindset – one that can’t see beyond it’s own limitations. A growth mindset sees these limitations and looks beyond them – it finds ways to overcome obstacles and believes that this will result in success. When you think of your goal, a fixed mindset may think “what if I fail?” A growth mindset would look at the same goal and think “failures happen but that doesn’t mean I won’t be successful.”

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There’s a lot of power in changing your perspective.

2. Look For The Successes

It’s really important to get your mind focused on positive aspects of your goal. Finding inspiration through others can be really uplifting and keep you on track with developing your success mindset; reinforcing your belief that your dreams can be achieved. Find people that you can talk with about how they achieved their goals and seek out and surround yourself with positive people. This is crucial if you’re learning to develop a positive mindset.

3. Eliminate Negativity

You can come up against a lot of negativity sometimes either through other people or within yourself. Understanding that other people’s negative opinions are created through their own fears and limiting beliefs will go a long way in sustaining your success mindset. But for a lot of us, negative chatter can come from within and these usually manifest as negative words such as can’t, won’t, shouldn’t. Sometimes, when we think of how we’re going to achieve our goals, statements in our minds come out as negative absolutes: ‘It never works out for me’ or ‘I always fail.’

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When you notice these coming up you need to turn them around with ‘It always works out for me!’ and ‘I never fail!’ The trick is to believe it no matter what’s happened in the past. Remember that every new day is a clean slate and for you to adjust your mindset.

4. Create a Vision

Envisioning your end goal and seeing it in your mind is an important trait of a success mindset. Allowing ourselves to imagine our success creates a powerful excitement that shouldn’t be underestimated. When our brain becomes excited at the thought of achieving our goals, we become more committed, work harder towards achieving it and more likely to do whatever it takes to make it happen.

If this involves creating a vision board that you can look at to remind yourself every day then go for it. Small techniques like this go a long way in sustaining your success mindset and shouldn’t be dismissed.

An Inspirational Story…

For centuries experts said that running a mile in under 4 minutes was humanly impossible. On the 6th May 1954, Rodger Bannister did just that. As part of his training, Bannister relentlessly visualised the achievement, believing he could accomplish what everyone said wasn’t possible…and he did it.

What’s more amazing is that, as soon as Bannister achieved the 4-minute mile, more and more people also achieved it. How was this possible after so many years of no one achieving it? Because in people’s minds it was suddenly possible – once people knew that it was achievable it created a mindset of success and now, after over fifty years since Bannister did the ‘impossible’, his record has been lowered by 17 seconds – the power of the success mindset!

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