All romantic relationships are unique in their own way, but they also have many things in common. Most people who start a relationship want to find genuine, lasting love, whether they are in their 20s or their 60s. However, lots of relationships break down and both partners are left wondering why. They might think that they found the wrong person or that they are not ready for a long-term relationship – but the problem might be that they can’t get past Stage Three.
Jed Diamond is an author who created the five stages of love. He believes that most people think that stage three is the end of their relationship, when in reality it is the beginning of long-term love.
If you want to know how to make a relationship last, you need to understand the five stages of love.
How To Make A Relationship Last Using The Five Stages Of Love
1. Falling in Love
The first stage of love is falling in love. Falling in love feels amazing as our bodies have higher levels of dopamine, serotonin, oxytocin, estrogen and testosterone. At this point you think that the person you love is wonderful, and you tend to focus on their best traits rather than their worst traits.
While this does feel great, it can give people slightly unrealistic rose-tinted glasses, especially when you consider that people in love can also pin their hopes and dreams on their new love. If you want to find a love that will last, try to be aware that your love isn’t perfect; they have good traits and bad traits, just like anyone else.
2. Starting A Relationship
Stage Two happens when the love deepens and both people are ready to join as a couple. The couple will make some kind of commitment towards each other; maybe they will get engaged, or buy a home together, or have children. This gives the couple the chance to bond even more and learn more about each other.
The honeymoon period is now over, and the couple find their relationship emotionally fulfilling and satisfying, rather than exciting and new. This creates a sense of security that can be destroyed if the couple do not make it past Stage Three.
3. Becoming Disillusioned
If you really want to know how to make a relationship last, you and your partner must be able to move past Stage Three together. Stage Three is when both partners become disillusioned with each other, which can signal the end of the relationship or marriage. Both partners start to feel less loved, and they will start fighting and disagreeing more. This can cause both partners to feel angry and withdrawn; they may even start to feel trapped.
If you want to make your relationship last, you and your partner must both accept that this stage is natural and normal. You can choose to push each other away and become withdrawn, or you can focus on your initial love for each other and try to solve the problems that arise. If you do this, the relationship will continue and you will have a newfound love and respect for each other. Remember that the problems aren’t caused by the fact that you are with the wrong person; they are natural problems that arise in any happy, long-term relationship.
4. Creating Lasting Love Together
The fourth step is creating a happy, lasting love together. Together you and your partner need to sit down and get to the core of what causes problems in your relationship. Maybe your partner had a difficult childhood, which means that they struggle to show emotion. Maybe you had a bad relationship and you often worry that your partner will treat you like you ex did.
This step is important as you both need to address and understand your emotional wounds. If you don’t, you will continue to hurt each other without understanding why. Your partner loves you, and they should be able to see you and love you for who you are.
5. Using Your Love To Influence Others
The final step is using your love to improve the lives of others. If two people can work past their problems and find happiness together, they share a powerful love. They can push this love out into the world around them; they can share it with their friends, families and co-workers to encourage them and improve their lives.
By understanding the five stages of love, you’ll be able to better understand the progression of your relationship. You’ll be able to better work things out when issues occur.