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How to Become a Stronger Version of Yourself for True Confidence

How to Become a Stronger Version of Yourself for True Confidence

This article is written from a shallower and short-term perspective to a deeper and longer term perspective and I believe it is necessary to facilitate a better understanding. Trust me, this will transform you from being a shy person to a confident one.

Note: This will be especially applicable to people who are starting off being really shy.

Improve Yourself in all Aspects to Build Confidence

Simply put, become a better version of yourself. You need to achieve more, become better or do anything that will make you proud of yourself or feel more positive about yourself at least. Confidence is something you have to build over time. It is built through hard work and experiences. You can start working out and have a better physique. You can take up dance lessons and become an entertainment in clubs. You can start earning more money. You can google on how to become a more charismatic or respectable person. You can do all kind of things which you think will make you more socially-valued.

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True confidence comes from having positive feelings about yourself, and to have positive feelings about yourself, you will have to gain approval or compliments by society. You may think that this sounds shallow now, but trust me, it works and it is just the start of a strategy on gaining true social confidence. You need to continue reading for a more in-depth understanding of the strategy to see the rationale behind it.

Provide Value to be Valued

To be approved and valued by society, you will have to provide value.

Anything can be of value. For example: love, money or anything that is deemed to be worth to others. Having a good physique makes you attractive and attraction is a kind of value. Being funny makes other people laugh, so that is value as well. Being a gentleman can attract girls since chivalry is of value too.

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So the first step will be to improve yourself so that you are of a higher value which will be more socially approved.

The Unintentional By-products of Providing Value

The journey towards true confidence comes largely from the unintentional by-products of providing value.

The point here is when you unintentionally gain acceptance, approval and compliments, it will help you become confident gradually. Like I said previously, becoming a stronger version of yourself will lead to gaining unintentional approval and compliments, which is just the first step of the strategy.

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Note: The reason why I emphasized on the word ‘unintentionally‘ is to prevent you from being  misled to think that your goal is to gain others’ approval and compliments. The main goal will always be to become a stronger version of yourself in all aspect. However, those words of approval or compliment by others are just kind of like by-products which can reflect your current position on your journey towards true social confidence and somehow lead you towards your higher level of confidence. Basically, in the long run, there will be gradual changes in how the people react to you, all the positive things just come naturally.

All these are still the start and can be pretty shallow and inadequate for true social confidence or true confidence in general. Now, the key to true confidence is actually having positive feelings about yourself. And the point of becoming a stronger version of yourself can absolutely generate positive feelings about yourself.

The trick to building true confidence is when you sub-consciously use the accumulated unintentional approvals and compliments or feedback in general from your growth and experiences to generate a positive feeling in yourself.

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True Confidence Comes From Within

The ‘within’ actually refers to the positive feelings about yourself. To simplify, the level of true confidence is highly in direct proportion to the level of positive feeling you have about yourself.

Lastly, the positive feeling about yourself will allow you to make decisions more confidently because you know that you can do it like how much you had actually changed yourself in every aspect. Even if you fail, you know that you will always become stronger and failures are just part of the route to succeed in the future as long as you learn. Deep inside, you know that you will be able to do it eventually because you have that very positive feeling about what you can do and what you will become. This is true confidence. And everything just becomes an upward spiral.

Try it, confidence takes you time. Give yourself a year and you will be very surprised.

Featured photo credit: Rick Nunn by JohnONolan via flickr.com

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http://imcreator.com/free/people/rick-nunn How to Become a Stronger Version of Yourself for True Confidence 5 Ways to Start Building Social Confidence Today

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Published on October 22, 2020

What Is Analysis Paralysis (And How to Overcome It)

What Is Analysis Paralysis (And How to Overcome It)

Have you ever taken so long trying to solve a problem that you just ended up going around in circles? How about trying to make a major decision and just freezing up when the time to decide came?

You might have found yourself gathering too much information, hoping it will help you make the best decision—even if it takes you too long to do so. This probably led to many missed opportunities, especially in situations where you needed to act on time.

Nobody wants to make the wrong decision. However, delayed decision making can have a hugely negative impact on all aspects of your life—from your personal relationships to your career. Delaying important decisions can be the worst decision of all.

At one point or another, people get stuck at a decision impasse they can’t seem to overcome. This is due to a mental blindspot called information bias, informally known as analysis paralysis.

Analysis Paralysis and Stalled Decisions

Information bias, or analysis paralysis, is our tendency to seek more information than is needed to make decisions and take action.[1] It is one of many cognitive biases that cause us to make mistakes during the decision-making process.

A related cognitive bias is the status quo bias, which is our tendency to prefer that things stay the same and fear any changes.[2] Together with analysis paralysis, these two dangerous judgment errors pose a threat to our successful navigation through our rapidly-shifting world.

Consider what happened to Lily, a consulting client of mine who’s a mid-level manager in the UX department of a large tech company. Lily had been there for 5 years and was thinking about switching to a startup after a couple tried to recruit her.

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However, she had been taking a lot of time making a decision. In fact, before she contacted me, she had already gathered information and talked to a lot of people for 7 months. Realistically, more information won’t sway her decision, but she kept trying to gather more information.

And then, there was the technology company that came to me after their growth started to decline. The company had initially experienced rapid growth with a couple of innovative products. However, its growth started to decrease—unfortunate, but not unexpected.

Essentially, the company’s growth followed the typical S-curve growth model, which starts as a slow and effortful start-up stage. This is followed by a rapid growth stage, then a slowdown in growth, often following market saturation or competitive pressure or other factors. This is the point where the company’s existing products reach maturity.

However, even before a slowdown hits, forward-thinking companies would innovate and change things up proactively. This is so they could have new products ready to go that would maintain rapid growth.

Unfortunately, this wasn’t the case with this particular tech company. Not only did they not address the potential decline but once the company’s growth stalled, the leaders dug their heels in and stayed the course. They kept on analyzing the market to find the cause of the problem.

Worse, a couple of executives in the company proposed launching new products, but most of the leadership was cautious. They kept on asking for guarantees that the products would be a success, demanding more information even when additional information wasn’t relevant.

Both Lily and the tech company remained paralyzed by too much information when they should already have taken action. While this situation isn’t unexpected, it is totally avoidable.

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As I told both parties when they consulted me, all they needed to do was to face analysis paralysis head-on and make a decision. But they had to follow the best decision-making process available first, didn’t they?

8-Step Decision-Making Process to Avoid Analysis Paralysis

I told Lily and the leaders at the tech company that we should never go with our gut if we want to avoid disasters in our personal and professional lives.[3] Instead, I advised them, as I advise you now, to follow data-driven, research-based approaches, such as the one I’ll outline below.

From hiring a new employee, launching a new product, selecting a Zoom guest speaker for your annual video conference to deciding whether to apply for a higher-level position within your company, the following steps will help you fight analysis paralysis and make the best decisions possible.

1. Identify the Need to Launch a Decision-Making Process

This is particularly important when there’s no explicit crisis that cries out for a change or decision to be made. Such recognition is also applicable when your natural intuitions are keeping you from acknowledging the need for a tough decision.

Remember that the best decision-makers take the initiative to recognize the need for decisions before they become an emergency. They also don’t let gut reactions cloud their decision-making capacity.

2. Gather Relevant Information From a Wide Variety of Informed Perspectives

Listen especially to opinions you disagree with. Contradicting perspectives empower you to distance yourself from the comfortable reliance on your gut instincts, which can sometimes be harmful to decision-making. Opposing ideas also help you recognize any potential bias blind spots, and this allows you to come up with solutions that you may not have otherwise.

3. Paint a Clear Vision of Your Desired Outcome

Using the data gleaned from step 2, decide which goals you want to reach. Paint a clear vision of the desired outcome of your decision-making process. You should also recognize that what seems to be a one-time decision may turn out to be a symptom of an underlying issue with current processes and practices. Make addressing these root problems part of the outcome you want to achieve.

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4. Make a Decision-Making Process Criteria

Make a decision-making process criteria to weigh the various options of how you’d like to get to your desired outcome. As much as possible, develop these criteria before you start to consider choices. Our intuitions bias our decision-making criteria to encourage certain outcomes that fit our instincts. As a result, you get overall worse decisions if you don’t develop criteria before starting to look at options.

5. Generate Several Viable Options

We tend to fall into the trap of generating insufficient options to make the best decisions, and this can lead to analysis paralysis. To prevent this, you should generate many more options than you usually would. Generate several viable options that can help you achieve your decision-making process goals. Go for 5 attractive options as the minimum.

Keep in mind that this is a brainstorming step, so don’t judge options no matter how far fetched they might seem. In my consulting and coaching experience, the optimal choice often involves elements drawn from out-of-the-box options.

6. Weigh These Options and Pick the Best One

When weighing your options, beware of going with your initial preferences. Try to see your preferred choice in a harsh light. Also, do your best to separate each option from the person who proposed it. This minimizes the impact of personalities, relationships, and internal politics on the decision itself.

7. Implement the Option You Chose

For implementing the decision, you need to minimize risks and maximize rewards, since your goal is to get a decision outcome that’s as good as possible.

First, imagine that the decision completely failed. Then, brainstorm about all the problems that led to this failure. Next, consider how you might solve these problems, and integrate the solutions into your implementation plan.

Next, imagine that the decision absolutely succeeded. Brainstorm all the reasons for success and consider how you can bring these reasons into life. Then, integrate what you learned into implementing the decisions.

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Finally, develop clear metrics of success that you can measure throughout the implementation process. This will enable you to check if you’re meeting the goals you identified in step 3. It will also help guide your goal-setting process—something to keep in mind when you use this decision-making technique again in the future.

8. Set a Reminder to Use the Process for Future Decisions

Regularly check if it’s time to employ the decision-making process once again. As discussed in the first step, there may be times when there’s no explicit crisis that cries out for a change, even though underlying issues might already be signaling that it’s time for a tough decision.

Setting a reminder—perhaps a visual one such as a note on your desk, or even just a scheduled alert on your phone—will ensure that you can catch decision-making cues before they’re due.

While Lily and the tech company initially had to fight off a lot of discomforts when using the process, they were ultimately rewarded with sound decisions they were immensely satisfied with.

This battle-tested method will do the same for you. It will certainly propel your decision-making and, at the same time, help you thwart analysis paralysis and avoid decision disasters.

Conclusion

Nobody wants to make the wrong decision, but you also don’t want to take too long and miss opportunities. By using a data-driven and research-based approach to decision making, you can nip analysis paralysis in the bud and make the best decisions.

More Tips to Overcome Analysis Paralysis

Featured photo credit: Muhmed El-Bank via unsplash.com

Reference

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