Advertising
Advertising

How to Become a Stronger Version of Yourself for True Confidence

How to Become a Stronger Version of Yourself for True Confidence

This article is written from a shallower and short-term perspective to a deeper and longer term perspective and I believe it is necessary to facilitate a better understanding. Trust me, this will transform you from being a shy person to a confident one.

Note: This will be especially applicable to people who are starting off being really shy.

Improve Yourself in all Aspects to Build Confidence

Simply put, become a better version of yourself. You need to achieve more, become better or do anything that will make you proud of yourself or feel more positive about yourself at least. Confidence is something you have to build over time. It is built through hard work and experiences. You can start working out and have a better physique. You can take up dance lessons and become an entertainment in clubs. You can start earning more money. You can google on how to become a more charismatic or respectable person. You can do all kind of things which you think will make you more socially-valued.

Advertising

True confidence comes from having positive feelings about yourself, and to have positive feelings about yourself, you will have to gain approval or compliments by society. You may think that this sounds shallow now, but trust me, it works and it is just the start of a strategy on gaining true social confidence. You need to continue reading for a more in-depth understanding of the strategy to see the rationale behind it.

Provide Value to be Valued

To be approved and valued by society, you will have to provide value.

Anything can be of value. For example: love, money or anything that is deemed to be worth to others. Having a good physique makes you attractive and attraction is a kind of value. Being funny makes other people laugh, so that is value as well. Being a gentleman can attract girls since chivalry is of value too.

Advertising

So the first step will be to improve yourself so that you are of a higher value which will be more socially approved.

The Unintentional By-products of Providing Value

The journey towards true confidence comes largely from the unintentional by-products of providing value.

The point here is when you unintentionally gain acceptance, approval and compliments, it will help you become confident gradually. Like I said previously, becoming a stronger version of yourself will lead to gaining unintentional approval and compliments, which is just the first step of the strategy.

Advertising

Note: The reason why I emphasized on the word ‘unintentionally‘ is to prevent you from being  misled to think that your goal is to gain others’ approval and compliments. The main goal will always be to become a stronger version of yourself in all aspect. However, those words of approval or compliment by others are just kind of like by-products which can reflect your current position on your journey towards true social confidence and somehow lead you towards your higher level of confidence. Basically, in the long run, there will be gradual changes in how the people react to you, all the positive things just come naturally.

All these are still the start and can be pretty shallow and inadequate for true social confidence or true confidence in general. Now, the key to true confidence is actually having positive feelings about yourself. And the point of becoming a stronger version of yourself can absolutely generate positive feelings about yourself.

The trick to building true confidence is when you sub-consciously use the accumulated unintentional approvals and compliments or feedback in general from your growth and experiences to generate a positive feeling in yourself.

Advertising

True Confidence Comes From Within

The ‘within’ actually refers to the positive feelings about yourself. To simplify, the level of true confidence is highly in direct proportion to the level of positive feeling you have about yourself.

Lastly, the positive feeling about yourself will allow you to make decisions more confidently because you know that you can do it like how much you had actually changed yourself in every aspect. Even if you fail, you know that you will always become stronger and failures are just part of the route to succeed in the future as long as you learn. Deep inside, you know that you will be able to do it eventually because you have that very positive feeling about what you can do and what you will become. This is true confidence. And everything just becomes an upward spiral.

Try it, confidence takes you time. Give yourself a year and you will be very surprised.

Featured photo credit: Rick Nunn by JohnONolan via flickr.com

More by this author

http://imcreator.com/free/people/rick-nunn How to Become a Stronger Version of Yourself for True Confidence 5 Ways to Start Building Social Confidence Today

Trending in Brain

1 Overcoming The Pain Of A Breakup: 3 Suggestions Based On Science 2 10 Positive Affirmations for Success that will Change your Life 3 7 Natural (And Highly Effective) Ways to Improve Memory 4 15 Ways Meditation Benefits Your Brain Power and Your Mood 5 How to Build Good Habits

Read Next

Advertising
Advertising

Last Updated on September 10, 2018

Overcoming The Pain Of A Breakup: 3 Suggestions Based On Science

Overcoming The Pain Of A Breakup: 3 Suggestions Based On Science

We thought that the expression ‘broken heart’ was just a metaphor, but science is telling us that it is not: breakups and rejections do cause physical pain. When a group of psychologists asked research participants to look at images of their ex-partners who broke up with them, researchers found that the same brain areas that are activated by physical pain are also activated by looking at images of ex-partners. Looking at images of our ex is a painful experience, literally.[1].

Given that the effect of rejections and breakups is the same as the effect of physical pain, scientists have speculated on whether the practices that reduce physical pain could be used to reduce the emotional pain that follows from breakups and rejections. In a study on whether painkillers reduce the emotional pain caused by a breakup, researchers found that painkillers did help. Individuals who took painkillers were better able to deal with their breakup. Tamar Cohen wrote that “A simple dose of paracetamol could help ease the pain of a broken heart.”[2]

Advertising

Just like painkillers can be used to ease the pain of a broken heart, other practices that ease physical pain can also be used to ease the pain of rejections and breakups. Three of these scientifically validated practices are presented in this article.

Looking at images of loved ones

While images of ex-partners stimulate the pain neuro-circuitry in our brain, images of loved ones activate a different circuitry. Looking at images of people who care about us increases the release of oxytocin in our body. Oxytocin, or the “cuddle hormone,” is the hormone that our body relies on to induce in us a soothing feeling of tranquility, even when we are under high stress and pain.

Advertising

In fact, oxytocin was found to have a crucial role as a mother is giving birth to her baby. Despite the extreme pain that a mother has to endure during delivery, the high level of oxytocin secreted by her body transforms pain into pleasure. Mariem Melainine notes that, “Oxytocin levels are usually at their peak during delivery, which promotes a sense of euphoria in the mother and helps her develop a stronger bond with her baby.”[3]

Whenever you feel tempted to look at images of your ex-partner, log into your Facebook page and start browsing images of your loved ones. As Eva Ritvo, M.D. notes, “Facebook fools our brain into believing that loved ones surround us, which historically was essential to our survival. The human brain, because it evolved thousands of years before photography, fails on many levels to recognize the difference between pictures and people”[4]

Advertising

Exercise

Endorphins are neurotransmitters that reduce our perception of pain. When our body is high on endorphins, painful sensations are kept outside of conscious awareness. It was found that exercise causes endorphins to be secreted in the brain and as a result produce a feeling of power, as psychologist Alex Korb noted in his book: “Exercise causes your brain to release endorphins, neurotransmitters that act on your neurons like opiates (such as morphine or Vicodin) by sending a neural signal to reduce pain and provide anxiety relief.”[5] By inhibiting pain from being transmitted to our brain, exercise acts as a powerful antidote to the pain caused by rejections and breakups.

Meditation

Jon Kabat Zinn, a doctor who pioneered the use of mindfulness meditation therapy for patients with chronic pain, has argued that it is not pain itself that is harmful to our mental health, rather, it is the way we react to pain. When we react to pain with irritation, frustration, and self-pity, more pain is generated, and we enter a never ending spiral of painful thoughts and sensations.

Advertising

In order to disrupt the domino effect caused by reacting to pain with pain, Kabat Zinn and other proponents of mindfulness meditation therapy have suggested reacting to pain through nonjudgmental contemplation and acceptance. By practicing meditation on a daily basis and getting used to the habit of paying attention to the sensations generated by our body (including the painful ones and by observing these sensations nonjudgmentally and with compassion) our brain develops the habit of reacting to pain with grace and patience.

When you find yourself thinking about a recent breakup or a recent rejection, close your eyes and pay attention to the sensations produced by your body. Take deep breaths and as you are feeling the sensations produced by your body, distance yourself from them, and observe them without judgment and with compassion. If your brain starts wandering and gets distracted, gently bring back your compassionate nonjudgmental attention to your body. Try to do this exercise for one minute and gradually increase its duration.

With consistent practice, nonjudgmental acceptance will become our default reaction to breakups, rejections, and other disappointments that we experience in life. Every rejection and every breakup teaches us great lessons about relationships and about ourselves.

Featured photo credit: condesign via pixabay.com

Reference

Read Next