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5 Ways to Ensure Online Dating Security and Success for Over 50

5 Ways to Ensure Online Dating Security and Success for Over 50

One of the fastest demographics rising from technology nowadays is online dating, with more singles ,especially seniors getting online every day. Whatever be your desire, whether a new partner or just a fun dating adventure, online dating sites are a great place to get started.

Studies have revealed that seniors speak more positively about online dating compared to the younger individuals. However, statements from senior citizens using online dating services also reveal that, the major causes of differences in online dating experiences is, “seniors often make better choices of online dating partners as they focus more on happiness and fun, showing every sign of maturity in their dating approaches” while the younger individuals may have a different focus.

Have you decided to meet someone online for a dating adventure? That is a forward thinking. Still, many people have had a lot of different experiences, especially seniors who may say, “it’s never a good idea”. Before you take up online dating adventures, please don’t be deceived into habits that will spoil your dating experience. The following tips on over-50 online dating should guide you in finding successful dates.

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1. Don’t judge people by their claims

When it comes to online dating, many people may not really be what they claim to be. Knowing this before taking your decision to join an online dating site is a great way to save yourself from awful experiences in the long run. There have been reported cases of bitter experiences from online dating sites and when viewed critically, it reveals that online daters with these experiences are those who never took the chance to study their dating partners.

Don’t be deceived by the charming profile details and give in too soon. Every experience from online dating starts right from the moment you set up your profile. Don’t be surprised how far your ‘profile set-up’ will go towards attracting positive people to you.The only claims worth believing in profiles are Age, job and location. Sometimes, even these claims too could be wrong.

2. Use a separate email for your online dating account

You won’t want to risk it I guess! Using the same email for commercial, family and friends for online dating account is the worst thing you can do. It’s true that most of the senior dating sites promise never to expose your email account to anyone or it’s usually perfectly safe but don’t risk it. A lot of cyber-crimes often reported mostly target the seniors and you can’t really say where fake identities get on. Because of this, it’s advisable to use a dating site that requires credit card information for sign up than the others which are free to sign up and anyone can get on there.

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3. Focus more on Having Fun

When you are happy with yourself, having great fun and enjoying the moment, you attract more people than expected. Your mission on a dating site is not about looking for people to like you or whatever else, especially as you are now over 50. What you need most is happiness and go for it.

Different people have different reasons for taking on online dating and this distinction is revealed between the young singles online dating sector and the over-50 online dating sector. While the younger individuals may be looking for a good dating/relationships which they hope will end up in marriages and have children, the over-50s,  especially the women in online dating sites may not really be concerned with having children or looking for marriages but just meeting good dating partners and having fun.

Know what you want and go for it. This will save you a lot of time, stress and create a wonderful dating adventure you ever wished for. Not every man in online dating sites are looking for the best dating partner but just meeting a partner who enjoys every moment with them and that partner might be you.

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4. Create a unique and engaging profile

Be honest. Make sure your profile is up to date and spells out your interests and hobbies. It’s OK to have similar interests and hobbies with others but have something that creates uniqueness in your dating profile. Be yourself and no one else. Even though everything thing about your profile would be same just as someone else’s, the tone should be different.

Be specific what you need and what you don’t. It’s smart to understand that many online daters especially seniors are not looking for marriages or serious relationships so know what a potential date is looking for on the platform and how it match your expectations before concluding they are a perfect match. For instance, a date who loves traveling and chocolates matching with yours may not need a serious relationship or marriage while you do. Can you see the difference?

Know this also that, sometimes humans are poor or excellent self-justifiers. To get the best about yourself on your profile, you could ask a friend for assistance who already had a positive online dating experience.

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5. Know what you are doing

You are on a dating site for a dating adventure and you are excited to meet a partner as fast as possible and have a fun-filled relationship you’ve always wished for. But, don’t make this your concentration. People tends to take advantage of your excitement and you won’t know when you are vulnerable.

What you need to do first is concentrate more on the things that make you happy, gives you joy, guarantees your good health, your good relationship with families and friends, your career or profession. Being a happy and interesting person will attract interesting and special people to you. Go for fun and never expect much from a partner until you know them pretty much. Pay careful attention to your conversations, their profile and communication tone and everything else that is revealed to you.

Featured photo credit: retirementnext.com via retirementnext.com

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Last Updated on August 6, 2020

6 Reasons Why You Should Think Before You Speak

6 Reasons Why You Should Think Before You Speak

We’ve all done it. That moment when a series of words slithers from your mouth and the instant regret manifests through blushing and profuse apologies. If you could just think before you speak! It doesn’t have to be like this, and with a bit of practice, it’s actually quite easy to prevent.

“Think twice before you speak, because your words and influence will plant the seed of either success or failure in the mind of another.” – Napolean Hill

Are we speaking the same language?

My mum recently left me a note thanking me for looking after her dog. She’d signed it with “LOL.” In my world, this means “laugh out loud,” and in her world it means “lots of love.” My kids tell me things are “sick” when they’re good, and ”manck” when they’re bad (when I say “bad,” I don’t mean good!). It’s amazing that we manage to communicate at all.

When speaking, we tend to color our language with words and phrases that have become personal to us, things we’ve picked up from our friends, families and even memes from the internet. These colloquialisms become normal, and we expect the listener (or reader) to understand “what we mean.” If you really want the listener to understand your meaning, try to use words and phrases that they might use.

Am I being lazy?

When you’ve been in a relationship for a while, a strange metamorphosis takes place. People tend to become lazier in the way that they communicate with each other, with less thought for the feelings of their partner. There’s no malice intended; we just reach a “comfort zone” and know that our partners “know what we mean.”

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Here’s an exchange from Psychology Today to demonstrate what I mean:

Early in the relationship:

“Honey, I don’t want you to take this wrong, but I’m noticing that your hair is getting a little thin on top. I know guys are sensitive about losing their hair, but I don’t want someone else to embarrass you without your expecting it.”

When the relationship is established:

“Did you know that you’re losing a lot of hair on the back of your head? You’re combing it funny and it doesn’t help. Wear a baseball cap or something if you feel weird about it. Lots of guys get thin on top. It’s no big deal.”

It’s pretty clear which of these statements is more empathetic and more likely to be received well. Recognizing when we do this can be tricky, but with a little practice it becomes easy.

Have I actually got anything to say?

When I was a kid, my gran used to say to me that if I didn’t have anything good to say, I shouldn’t say anything at all. My gran couldn’t stand gossip, so this makes total sense, but you can take this statement a little further and modify it: “If you don’t have anything to say, then don’t say anything at all.”

A lot of the time, people speak to fill “uncomfortable silences,” or because they believe that saying something, anything, is better than staying quiet. It can even be a cause of anxiety for some people.

When somebody else is speaking, listen. Don’t wait to speak. Listen. Actually hear what that person is saying, think about it, and respond if necessary.

Am I painting an accurate picture?

One of the most common forms of miscommunication is the lack of a “referential index,” a type of generalization that fails to refer to specific nouns. As an example, look at these two simple phrases: “Can you pass me that?” and “Pass me that thing over there!”. How often have you said something similar?

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How is the listener supposed to know what you mean? The person that you’re talking to will start to fill in the gaps with something that may very well be completely different to what you mean. You’re thinking “pass me the salt,” but you get passed the pepper. This can be infuriating for the listener, and more importantly, can create a lack of understanding and ultimately produce conflict.

Before you speak, try to label people, places and objects in a way that it is easy for any listeners to understand.

What words am I using?

It’s well known that our use of nouns and verbs (or lack of them) gives an insight into where we grew up, our education, our thoughts and our feelings.

Less well known is that the use of pronouns offers a critical insight into how we emotionally code our sentences. James Pennebaker’s research in the 1990’s concluded that function words are important keys to someone’s psychological state and reveal much more than content words do.

Starting a sentence with “I think…” demonstrates self-focus rather than empathy with the speaker, whereas asking the speaker to elaborate or quantify what they’re saying clearly shows that you’re listening and have respect even if you disagree.

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Is the map really the territory?

Before speaking, we sometimes construct a scenario that makes us act in a way that isn’t necessarily reflective of the actual situation.

A while ago, John promised to help me out in a big way with a project that I was working on. After an initial meeting and some big promises, we put together a plan and set off on its execution. A week or so went by, and I tried to get a hold of John to see how things were going. After voice mails and emails with no reply and general silence, I tried again a week later and still got no response.

I was frustrated and started to get more than a bit vexed. The project obviously meant more to me than it did to him, and I started to construct all manner of crazy scenarios. I finally got through to John and immediately started a mild rant about making promises you can’t keep. He stopped me in my tracks with the news that his brother had died. If I’d have just thought before I spoke…

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