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5 Ways to Ensure Online Dating Security and Success for Over 50

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5 Ways to Ensure Online Dating Security and Success for Over 50

One of the fastest demographics rising from technology nowadays is online dating, with more singles ,especially seniors getting online every day. Whatever be your desire, whether a new partner or just a fun dating adventure, online dating sites are a great place to get started.

Studies have revealed that seniors speak more positively about online dating compared to the younger individuals. However, statements from senior citizens using online dating services also reveal that, the major causes of differences in online dating experiences is, “seniors often make better choices of online dating partners as they focus more on happiness and fun, showing every sign of maturity in their dating approaches” while the younger individuals may have a different focus.

Have you decided to meet someone online for a dating adventure? That is a forward thinking. Still, many people have had a lot of different experiences, especially seniors who may say, “it’s never a good idea”. Before you take up online dating adventures, please don’t be deceived into habits that will spoil your dating experience. The following tips on over-50 online dating should guide you in finding successful dates.

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1. Don’t judge people by their claims

When it comes to online dating, many people may not really be what they claim to be. Knowing this before taking your decision to join an online dating site is a great way to save yourself from awful experiences in the long run. There have been reported cases of bitter experiences from online dating sites and when viewed critically, it reveals that online daters with these experiences are those who never took the chance to study their dating partners.

Don’t be deceived by the charming profile details and give in too soon. Every experience from online dating starts right from the moment you set up your profile. Don’t be surprised how far your ‘profile set-up’ will go towards attracting positive people to you.The only claims worth believing in profiles are Age, job and location. Sometimes, even these claims too could be wrong.

2. Use a separate email for your online dating account

You won’t want to risk it I guess! Using the same email for commercial, family and friends for online dating account is the worst thing you can do. It’s true that most of the senior dating sites promise never to expose your email account to anyone or it’s usually perfectly safe but don’t risk it. A lot of cyber-crimes often reported mostly target the seniors and you can’t really say where fake identities get on. Because of this, it’s advisable to use a dating site that requires credit card information for sign up than the others which are free to sign up and anyone can get on there.

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3. Focus more on Having Fun

When you are happy with yourself, having great fun and enjoying the moment, you attract more people than expected. Your mission on a dating site is not about looking for people to like you or whatever else, especially as you are now over 50. What you need most is happiness and go for it.

Different people have different reasons for taking on online dating and this distinction is revealed between the young singles online dating sector and the over-50 online dating sector. While the younger individuals may be looking for a good dating/relationships which they hope will end up in marriages and have children, the over-50s,  especially the women in online dating sites may not really be concerned with having children or looking for marriages but just meeting good dating partners and having fun.

Know what you want and go for it. This will save you a lot of time, stress and create a wonderful dating adventure you ever wished for. Not every man in online dating sites are looking for the best dating partner but just meeting a partner who enjoys every moment with them and that partner might be you.

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4. Create a unique and engaging profile

Be honest. Make sure your profile is up to date and spells out your interests and hobbies. It’s OK to have similar interests and hobbies with others but have something that creates uniqueness in your dating profile. Be yourself and no one else. Even though everything thing about your profile would be same just as someone else’s, the tone should be different.

Be specific what you need and what you don’t. It’s smart to understand that many online daters especially seniors are not looking for marriages or serious relationships so know what a potential date is looking for on the platform and how it match your expectations before concluding they are a perfect match. For instance, a date who loves traveling and chocolates matching with yours may not need a serious relationship or marriage while you do. Can you see the difference?

Know this also that, sometimes humans are poor or excellent self-justifiers. To get the best about yourself on your profile, you could ask a friend for assistance who already had a positive online dating experience.

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5. Know what you are doing

You are on a dating site for a dating adventure and you are excited to meet a partner as fast as possible and have a fun-filled relationship you’ve always wished for. But, don’t make this your concentration. People tends to take advantage of your excitement and you won’t know when you are vulnerable.

What you need to do first is concentrate more on the things that make you happy, gives you joy, guarantees your good health, your good relationship with families and friends, your career or profession. Being a happy and interesting person will attract interesting and special people to you. Go for fun and never expect much from a partner until you know them pretty much. Pay careful attention to your conversations, their profile and communication tone and everything else that is revealed to you.

Featured photo credit: retirementnext.com via retirementnext.com

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Last Updated on July 20, 2021

How to Overcome the Fear of Public Speaking (A Step-by-Step Guide)

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How to Overcome the Fear of Public Speaking (A Step-by-Step Guide)

You’re standing behind the curtain, just about to make your way on stage to face the many faces half-shrouded in darkness in front of you. As you move towards the spotlight, your body starts to feel heavier with each step. A familiar thump echoes throughout your body – your heartbeat has gone off the charts.

Don’t worry, you’re not the only one with glossophobia(also known as speech anxiety or the fear of speaking to large crowds). Sometimes, the anxiety happens long before you even stand on stage.

Your body’s defence mechanism responds by causing a part of your brain to release adrenaline into your blood – the same chemical that gets released as if you were being chased by a lion.

Here’s a step-by-step guide to help you overcome your fear of public speaking:

1. Prepare yourself mentally and physically

According to experts, we’re built to display anxiety and to recognize it in others. If your body and mind are anxious, your audience will notice. Hence, it’s important to prepare yourself before the big show so that you arrive on stage confident, collected and ready.

“Your outside world is a reflection of your inside world. What goes on in the inside, shows on the outside.” – Bob Proctor

Exercising lightly before a presentation helps get your blood circulating and sends oxygen to the brain. Mental exercises, on the other hand, can help calm the mind and nerves. Here are some useful ways to calm your racing heart when you start to feel the butterflies in your stomach:

Warming up

If you’re nervous, chances are your body will feel the same way. Your body gets tense, your muscles feel tight or you’re breaking in cold sweat. The audience will notice you are nervous.

If you observe that this is exactly what is happening to you minutes before a speech, do a couple of stretches to loosen and relax your body. It’s better to warm up before every speech as it helps to increase the functional potential of the body as a whole. Not only that, it increases muscle efficiency, improves reaction time and your movements.

Here are some exercises to loosen up your body before show time:

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  1. Neck and shoulder rolls – This helps relieve upper body muscle tension and pressure as the rolls focus on rotating the head and shoulders, loosening the muscle. Stress and anxiety can make us rigid within this area which can make you feel agitated, especially when standing.
  2. Arm stretches – We often use this part of our muscles during a speech or presentation through our hand gestures and movements. Stretching these muscles can reduce arm fatigue, loosen you up and improve your body language range.
  3. Waist twists – Place your hands on your hips and rotate your waist in a circular motion. This exercise focuses on loosening the abdominal and lower back regions which is essential as it can cause discomfort and pain, further amplifying any anxieties you may experience.

Stay hydrated

Ever felt parched seconds before speaking? And then coming up on stage sounding raspy and scratchy in front of the audience? This happens because the adrenaline from stage fright causes your mouth to feel dried out.

To prevent all that, it’s essential we stay adequately hydrated before a speech. A sip of water will do the trick. However, do drink in moderation so that you won’t need to go to the bathroom constantly.

Try to avoid sugary beverages and caffeine, since it’s a diuretic – meaning you’ll feel thirstier. It will also amplify your anxiety which prevents you from speaking smoothly.

Meditate

Meditation is well-known as a powerful tool to calm the mind. ABC’s Dan Harris, co-anchor of Nightline and Good Morning America weekend and author of the book titled10% Happier , recommends that meditation can help individuals to feel significantly calmer, faster.

Meditation is like a workout for your mind. It gives you the strength and focus to filter out the negativity and distractions with words of encouragement, confidence and strength.

Mindfulness meditation, in particular, is a popular method to calm yourself before going up on the big stage. The practice involves sitting comfortably, focusing on your breathing and then bringing your mind’s attention to the present without drifting into concerns about the past or future – which likely includes floundering on stage.

Here’s a nice example of guided meditation before public speaking:

2. Focus on your goal

One thing people with a fear of public speaking have in common is focusing too much on themselves and the possibility of failure.

Do I look funny? What if I can’t remember what to say? Do I look stupid? Will people listen to me? Does anyone care about what I’m talking about?’

Instead of thinking this way, shift your attention to your one true purpose – contributing something of value to your audience.

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Decide on the progress you’d like your audience to make after your presentation. Notice their movements and expressions to adapt your speech to ensure that they are having a good time to leave the room as better people.

If your own focus isn’t beneficial and what it should be when you’re speaking, then shift it to what does. This is also key to establishing trust during your presentation as the audience can clearly see that you have their interests at heart.[1]

3. Convert negativity to positivity

There are two sides constantly battling inside of us – one is filled with strength and courage while the other is doubt and insecurities. Which one will you feed?

‘What if I mess up this speech? What if I’m not funny enough? What if I forget what to say?’

It’s no wonder why many of us are uncomfortable giving a presentation. All we do is bring ourselves down before we got a chance to prove ourselves. This is also known as a self-fulfilling prophecy – a belief that comes true because we are acting as if it already is. If you think you’re incompetent, then it will eventually become true.

Motivational coaches tout that positive mantras and affirmations tend to boost your confidents for the moments that matter most. Say to yourself: “I’ll ace this speech and I can do it!”

Take advantage of your adrenaline rush to encourage positive outcome rather than thinking of the negative ‘what ifs’.

Here’s a video of Psychologist Kelly McGonigal who encourages her audience to turn stress into something positive as well as provide methods on how to cope with it:

4. Understand your content

Knowing your content at your fingertips helps reduce your anxiety because there is one less thing to worry about. One way to get there is to practice numerous times before your actual speech.

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However, memorizing your script word-for-word is not encouraged. You can end up freezing should you forget something. You’ll also risk sounding unnatural and less approachable.

“No amount of reading or memorizing will make you successful in life. It is the understanding and the application of wise thought that counts.” – Bob Proctor

Many people unconsciously make the mistake of reading from their slides or memorizing their script word-for-word without understanding their content – a definite way to stress themselves out.

Understanding your speech flow and content makes it easier for you to convert ideas and concepts into your own words which you can then clearly explain to others in a conversational manner. Designing your slides to include text prompts is also an easy hack to ensure you get to quickly recall your flow when your mind goes blank.[2]

One way to understand is to memorize the over-arching concepts or ideas in your pitch. It helps you speak more naturally and let your personality shine through. It’s almost like taking your audience on a journey with a few key milestones.

5. Practice makes perfect

Like most people, many of us are not naturally attuned to public speaking. Rarely do individuals walk up to a large audience and present flawlessly without any research and preparation.

In fact, some of the top presenters make it look easy during showtime because they have spent countless hours behind-the-scenes in deep practice. Even great speakers like the late John F. Kennedy would spend months preparing his speech beforehand.

Public speaking, like any other skill, requires practice – whether it be practicing your speech countless of times in front of a mirror or making notes. As the saying goes, practice makes perfect!

6. Be authentic

There’s nothing wrong with feeling stressed before going up to speak in front of an audience.

Many people fear public speaking because they fear others will judge them for showing their true, vulnerable self. However, vulnerability can sometimes help you come across as more authentic and relatable as a speaker.

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Drop the pretence of trying to act or speak like someone else and you’ll find that it’s worth the risk. You become more genuine, flexible and spontaneous, which makes it easier to handle unpredictable situations – whether it’s getting tough questions from the crowd or experiencing an unexpected technical difficulty.

To find out your authentic style of speaking is easy. Just pick a topic or issue you are passionate about and discuss this like you normally would with a close family or friend. It is like having a conversation with someone in a personal one-to-one setting. A great way to do this on stage is to select a random audience member(with a hopefully calming face) and speak to a single person at a time during your speech. You’ll find that it’s easier trying to connect to one person at a time than a whole room.

With that said, being comfortable enough to be yourself in front of others may take a little time and some experience, depending how comfortable you are with being yourself in front of others. But once you embrace it, stage fright will not be as intimidating as you initially thought.

Presenters like Barack Obama are a prime example of a genuine and passionate speaker:

7. Post speech evaluation

Last but not the least, if you’ve done public speaking and have been scarred from a bad experience, try seeing it as a lesson learned to improve yourself as a speaker.

Don’t beat yourself up after a presentation

We are the hardest on ourselves and it’s good to be. But when you finish delivering your speech or presentation, give yourself some recognition and a pat on the back.

You managed to finish whatever you had to do and did not give up. You did not let your fears and insecurities get to you. Take a little more pride in your work and believe in yourself.

Improve your next speech

As mentioned before, practice does make perfect. If you want to improve your public speaking skills, try asking someone to film you during a speech or presentation. Afterwards, watch and observe what you can do to improve yourself next time.

Here are some questions you can ask yourself after every speech:

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  • How did I do?
  • Are there any areas for improvement?
  • Did I sound or look stressed?
  • Did I stumble on my words? Why?
  • Was I saying “um” too often?
  • How was the flow of the speech?

Write everything you observed down and keep practicing and improving. In time, you’ll be able to better manage your fears of public speaking and appear more confident when it counts.

If you want even more tips about public speaking or delivering a great presentation, check out these articles too:

Reference

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