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How You Can Use Your Experience from Online Dating to Become More Productive

How You Can Use Your Experience from Online Dating to Become More Productive

If you’ve been playing the online dating game for a while, you already know what to expect, the right strategies to use, and have defined what you want and don’t want.

But the knowledge and experience you’ve gained can be used in more than one way. In fact, you can take what you learned while looking for a potential partner using dating services and other platforms for single people, and apply it to getting things done during the day.

Yes, I’m saying that the same rules that work for finding your soul mate can also be beneficial to your productivity levels and the results you get from your work. Here’s how:

1. See what works best for you and do more of it

You’ve tested different opening lines. Over time, you started noticing tendencies and some led to a better communication and finding out who’s interesting and worth your time.

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The same goes for all the little things you do during the day, the habits you’ve developed over the years and the mindsets you have formed that define how successful and productive you are. Not all of what you’re doing works. In fact, you may not be aware that some tiny practices or old behaviors are draining your energy, distracting you, making you procrastinate, and more.

To become more efficient and have more time for yourself, track what you do daily for some time and analyze how it affects your overall performance, and even your spiritual and mental health. If you take a closer look at the data you gather, you’ll see you can eliminate many things, and do more of the rest that actually gives you the progress you want to see.

That means doubling your results in any area and reaching any goal sooner.

2. Don’t overthink

Finding love online is impossible if you are looking at somebody’s profile for hours and imagining different scenarios or trying to guess what he’s really like. It’s time-wasting. The only thing that matters is taking action. It’s also the only way to quickly understand if you should keep this going on and take it further.

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When facing a project or even a simple daily task, some people tend to plan for hours, to prepare, to predict how others will react and how this will turn once completed. But that just leads to fearing failure, having doubts and procrastinating. Stop overthinking. Let go of perfectionism. And simply get to work on the next item on your list, or say ‘Hi!’ to whoever’s profile you’re checking out.

3. Start small

If you want to get everything done, you end up getting nothing done. Just like it is when you want to text many people at once and feel so overwhelmed by the thoughts in your head that you don’t really contact anyone, and thus miss out on a potential meaningful relationship or a new friend in your life.

The solution is to start small. Identify what’s the first thing you can do and focus only on it. Leave the rest for later. That builds momentum. Action leads to more action and suddenly the next step on the way becomes clear.

4. Be present.

When using dating apps, you have the chance to connect with tens of people at the same time. But that rarely ends well. Also, you end up getting confused, forgetting details from previous chats, and that ruins the chances for success with any of them.

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As for productivity, multitasking just doesn’t work. And a sure way to fail, lose focus and never get anything done is to think about the past or make plans about the future. In a nutshell, being anything else than present isn’t going to give you results.

Mindfulness helps you truly experience what you’re doing, be authentic and the best version of yourself. It also makes you to be more productive as you’re completely concentrated on the task in front of you and don’t think about what you should be doing later. This approach can help you connect on a deeper level with the right person, and get things done faster too.

5. Know your why

Have a purpose every time you do something important. Want to find a special person online? Well, know exactly how this will change your life for the better, how great you’ll feel, and what great times you can have with someone who’s the right fit for you.

When working on a project, keep in mind your end goal. That motivates you to be focused, consistent and to work harder. Eventually, you turn that vision into reality.

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6. Have fun

Whatever it is that you’re doing, enjoy it, appreciate it, know it’s the right thing to do right now. Like in modern dating, keep it positive and light, expect the best to happen. Such an attitude can help you be less stressed, calmer and avoid unnecessary worries.

So if you’ve already been doing online dating for some time, or if you’re thinking of giving it a try, know that it will boost your productivity.

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Last Updated on November 5, 2019

How to Memorize a Speech the Smart Way

How to Memorize a Speech the Smart Way

Did you know that 75% of the population suffers from glossophobia? That scary sounding word is one of the most common phobia’s in the world, fear of public speaking.

I’ll bet even as you are reading this, you are getting nervous thinking about giving a speech.

I have got good news for you. In this article, I will share with you a step by step method on how to memorize a speech the smart way. Once you have this method down, your confidence in yourself to deliver a successful speech will increase substantially. Read on to feel well prepared the next time you have to memorize and deliver a speech.

Common Mistakes of Memorizing a Speech

Before we get to the actual process of how to memorize a speech the smart way, let’s look at the two most common mistakes many of us tend to make while preparing for a speech.

Complete Memorization

In an attempt to ensure they remember every detail, many people aim to completely memorize their speech. They practice it over and over until they have every single word burned into their brain.

In many ways, this is understandable because most of us are naturally frightened of having to give a speech. When the time comes, we want to be completely and totally prepared and not make any mistakes.

While this makes a lot of sense, it also comes with its own negative side. The downside to having your speech memorized word for word is that you sound like a robot when delivering the speech. You become so focused on remembering every single part that you lose the ability to inflect your speech to varying degrees, and free form the talk a bit when the situation warrants.

Lack of Preparation

The other side of the coin to complete memorization is people who don’t prepare enough. Because they don’t want to come off sounding like a robot, they decide they will mostly “wing it”.

Sometimes they will write a few main points down on a piece of paper to remind themselves. They figure once they get going, the details will somehow fill themselves in under the big talking points while they are doing the talking.

The problem is that unless this is a topic you know inside and out and have spoken on it many times, you’ll wind up missing key points. It’s almost a given that as soon as you are done with your speech, you’ll remember many things you should have brought up while talking.

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There’s a good balance to be had between over and under preparing. Let’s now look at how to memorize a speech the smart way.

How to Memorize a Speech (Step-by-Step Guide)

1. Write Out Your Speech

The first step in the process is to simply write out your speech.

Many people like to write out the entire speech. Other people are more inclined to write their speech outline style. Whichever way your brain works best is the way you should write your speech.

Personally, I like to break things down into the primary points I want to make, and then back up each major point with several details. Because my mind works this way, I tend to write out speeches, and articles for that matter, by doing an outline.

Once I have the outline completed, I will then fill in several bullet points to back up each big topic.

For instance, if I was going to give a speech on how to get in better shape my outline would look something like this:

Benefits of being in shape

  • Point #1
  • Point #2
  • Point #3

Exercise

  • Point #1
  • Point #2
  • Point #3

Diet

  • Point #1
  • Point #2
  • Point #3

Rest and hydration

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  • Point #1
  • Point #2
  • Point #3

ConclusionNo need for points here, just a few sentences wrapping things up.

As you might imagine, this step typically is the hardest because it’s not only the first step but it also involves the initial creation of the speech.

2. Rehearse Your Speech

Now that you’ve written your speech, or outline, it’s time to start saying it out loud. It’s completely fine to simply read what you’ve written line by line at this point. What you are working on doing is getting the outline and getting a feel for the speech.

If you’ve written the entire speech out, you’ll be editing it while you are rehearsing it. Many times as we say things out loud, we realize that what we wrote needs to be changed and altered. This is how we work towards having a well rounded and smooth speech. Feel free to change things as needed while you are rehearsing your speech.

If you are like me and you’ve written the outline, this is where some of the supporting bullet points will begin to come out. Normally, I will have written several bullet points under each main topic. But as I say it out loud, I will begin to fill in more and more details. I might scratch certain bullet points and add others. I might think of something new at this stage while I am listening to myself and want to add it.

The key to remember here is that you laying the foundation for your awesome speech. At this point, it’s a work in progress, you are getting the key pieces in place.

3. Memorize the Bigger Parts

As you are rehearsing your speech, you want to focus on memorizing the bigger parts, or the main points.

Going back to my example of how to get in better shape, I’d want to ensure I have memorized my primary points. These include the benefits of being in shape, exercise, diet, rest and hydration, and the conclusion. These are the main points I want to make and I will then fill in further details. I’ve got to ensure I know these very well first and foremost.

By practicing your major points, you are building the framework for your speech. After you have this solid outline in place, you’ll continue by adding in the details to round things out.

4. Fill In the Details

Now that you have the big chunks memorized, it’s time to work on memorizing the details. These detail points will provide support and context for your major points. You can work on this all at once or break it down to the details that support each major point.

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For example, the details I might have under the “exercise” big point might include such things as cardio, weights, how many times a week to exercise, how long to actually exercise, and several examples of actual exercises. In this example, I have 5 detail points to memorize to support my major point of “exercise”.

It’s a good idea to test yourself regularly as you are rehearsing your speech. Ask yourself:

What are the 5 detail points I want to talk about that support my 3rd main point?

You need to be able to fire those off quickly. Until you can do this, you won’t be able to associate each of the details with the main point.

You have to be able to have them grouped together in your mind so that it comes out naturally in your speech. So that when you think of main point #2, you automatically think of the 4 supporting details associated with it.

Keep working at this stage until you can run through your speech completely several times and remember all of your big points and the supporting details.

Once you can do that with relative ease, it will be time for the final step, working on your delivery.

5. Work on Your Delivery

You’ve got the bulk of the work done now. You’ve written your speech and rehearsed enough times to have not only your main points memorized but also your supporting details. In short, you should have your speech almost done.

There’s one more step in how to memorize a speech the smart way. The final component is to work on how you deliver your speech.

For the most part, you can go give your speech now. After all, you have it memorized. If you want to ensure you do it right, you’ll want to hone how you are delivering your speech.

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You work on your delivery by rehearsing and running through it a number of times and making tweaks along the way. These tweaks or changes may be are’s where you’d want to pause for effect.

If you’ve found you have used one word 5 times in one paragraph, you might want to swap it out for a similar word a few times to keep it fresh.

Sometimes while working on this part, I’ve thought of a great story that’s happened to me that I can incorporate to make my point even better.

When you work on your delivery, you are basically giving your speech a personality as well.

The Bottom Line

And there you have it, a step by step approach on how to memorize a speech the smart way.

The next time you are asked to give a speech don’t let glossophobia rear its familiar head. Instead, remember this easy to use guide to help craft a powerful speech.

Using the method shown here will help you deliver your next speech with increased confidence.

More About Public Speaking

Featured photo credit: Anna Sullivan via unsplash.com

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