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How You Can Use Your Experience from Online Dating to Become More Productive

How You Can Use Your Experience from Online Dating to Become More Productive

If you’ve been playing the online dating game for a while, you already know what to expect, the right strategies to use, and have defined what you want and don’t want.

But the knowledge and experience you’ve gained can be used in more than one way. In fact, you can take what you learned while looking for a potential partner using dating services and other platforms for single people, and apply it to getting things done during the day.

Yes, I’m saying that the same rules that work for finding your soul mate can also be beneficial to your productivity levels and the results you get from your work. Here’s how:

1. See what works best for you and do more of it

You’ve tested different opening lines. Over time, you started noticing tendencies and some led to a better communication and finding out who’s interesting and worth your time.

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The same goes for all the little things you do during the day, the habits you’ve developed over the years and the mindsets you have formed that define how successful and productive you are. Not all of what you’re doing works. In fact, you may not be aware that some tiny practices or old behaviors are draining your energy, distracting you, making you procrastinate, and more.

To become more efficient and have more time for yourself, track what you do daily for some time and analyze how it affects your overall performance, and even your spiritual and mental health. If you take a closer look at the data you gather, you’ll see you can eliminate many things, and do more of the rest that actually gives you the progress you want to see.

That means doubling your results in any area and reaching any goal sooner.

2. Don’t overthink

Finding love online is impossible if you are looking at somebody’s profile for hours and imagining different scenarios or trying to guess what he’s really like. It’s time-wasting. The only thing that matters is taking action. It’s also the only way to quickly understand if you should keep this going on and take it further.

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When facing a project or even a simple daily task, some people tend to plan for hours, to prepare, to predict how others will react and how this will turn once completed. But that just leads to fearing failure, having doubts and procrastinating. Stop overthinking. Let go of perfectionism. And simply get to work on the next item on your list, or say ‘Hi!’ to whoever’s profile you’re checking out.

3. Start small

If you want to get everything done, you end up getting nothing done. Just like it is when you want to text many people at once and feel so overwhelmed by the thoughts in your head that you don’t really contact anyone, and thus miss out on a potential meaningful relationship or a new friend in your life.

The solution is to start small. Identify what’s the first thing you can do and focus only on it. Leave the rest for later. That builds momentum. Action leads to more action and suddenly the next step on the way becomes clear.

4. Be present.

When using dating apps, you have the chance to connect with tens of people at the same time. But that rarely ends well. Also, you end up getting confused, forgetting details from previous chats, and that ruins the chances for success with any of them.

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As for productivity, multitasking just doesn’t work. And a sure way to fail, lose focus and never get anything done is to think about the past or make plans about the future. In a nutshell, being anything else than present isn’t going to give you results.

Mindfulness helps you truly experience what you’re doing, be authentic and the best version of yourself. It also makes you to be more productive as you’re completely concentrated on the task in front of you and don’t think about what you should be doing later. This approach can help you connect on a deeper level with the right person, and get things done faster too.

5. Know your why

Have a purpose every time you do something important. Want to find a special person online? Well, know exactly how this will change your life for the better, how great you’ll feel, and what great times you can have with someone who’s the right fit for you.

When working on a project, keep in mind your end goal. That motivates you to be focused, consistent and to work harder. Eventually, you turn that vision into reality.

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6. Have fun

Whatever it is that you’re doing, enjoy it, appreciate it, know it’s the right thing to do right now. Like in modern dating, keep it positive and light, expect the best to happen. Such an attitude can help you be less stressed, calmer and avoid unnecessary worries.

So if you’ve already been doing online dating for some time, or if you’re thinking of giving it a try, know that it will boost your productivity.

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Last Updated on March 30, 2020

How to Tap into Your Right Brain’s Potential

How to Tap into Your Right Brain’s Potential

You may have heard someone say they are “totally right brained” or that they’re “a left brained person.”

There is a pervasive myth that’s been making its rounds for over a century: people have two hemispheres of their brains, and if they have a dominant left brain, they’re more analytical; and if they have a dominant right brain, they are more creative.

Before we go debunking this theory and then giving some tips for how people can access their creative brain centers, let’s first take a look at where the left brain/right brain lateralization theory comes from.

The Left Brain/Right Brain Lateralization Theory

In the 1800s, scientists discovered that when patients injured one side of their brains, certain skills were lost.[1] Scientists linked those different skills to one side of the brain or the other. Thus began the left brain/right brain myth that continues to this day.

Then, in the 1960s and 70s, Roger W. Sperry led 16 operations that cut the corpus callosum (the largest region that connects both brain hemispheres together) in order to try to treat patients’ epilepsy. Sperry wrote about the differences in the two hemispheres as a result of those surgeries.[2]

Sperry’s work was popularized in 1973 with a New York Times article about his lateralization theory—that people were either right brained (read: logical) or left brained (read: creative). From here, Sperry won the Nobel Prize for his work and numerous other publications spread the right brain/left brain myth.

Debunking the Right Brain/Left Brain Myth

If anything, the lateralization theory of the brain is a gross exaggeration. It is true that people have two hemispheres of their brains. It is also true that there are differences in the composition of those two hemispheres.

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However, the hemispheres are actually much more interconnected than Sperry’s work initially made it seem.

In a 2013 study,[3] scientists scanned over 1000 people’s brains, checking for lateralization. They confirmed that certain brain functions occur predominately in one hemisphere or the other but that, in reality, the brain is actually much more interconnected and complex than the right brain/left brain lateralization theory makes it seem.[4][5]

A New Metaphor for Right Brain/Left Brain

How do we get past this right brain/left brain myth?

First, let’s look at what contemporary cognitive science says about brain regions, and creative and logical modes of thinking.

My background is as an improviser and improv researcher. I wrote Theatrical Improvisation, Consciousness, and Cognition and think looking at improvisation and the brain can shed light on a new model for talking about unlocking the brain’s creative potential.

Functional magnetic resonance imaging (fMRI) brain scans have shown that while trained improvisers improvise (musically on a keyboard, rapping, and comedic improvisation) an interesting shift happens in their brain activity. [6]

A region called the dorsolateral prefrontal cortex decreases in activity and creative language centers such as the medial prefrontal cortex increase in activity. The dorsolateral prefrontal cortex is linked with conscious thoughts—that inner voice that tells you not to say something or criticizes you when you do.

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The medial prefrontal cortex is among the brain regions linked with creativity. So, instead of thinking about right brain and left brain, perhaps it’s more current and correct to think about more specific brain regions instead of hemispheres. Perhaps, it’s more useful to think about which activities and strategies will allow us to inhibit our dorsolateral prefrontal cortexes and allow our medial prefrontal cortexes to flourish.

How to Enhance Your “Right Brain” — Creativity

Whether we’re talking about right brain versus left brain, creative versus logical, or medial prefrontal cortex versus dorsolateral prefrontal cortex, we still know enough to talk about strategies to tap into your creative brain’s full potential.

So, now that we’ve dispelled the right brain/left brain myth and looked at a more contemporary, cognitive neuroscience theory of brain regions and creativity centers, let’s look at how to tap into the potential of your creative brain.

1. Performing Arts

One way to tap into your creative brain centers is to participate in the performing arts. Whether you improvise, act, or dance, the performing arts allow you an embodied experience that will help you snap out of your habitual, logical thoughts.

Another benefit of the performing arts is that it changes your attention. Attention and creativity are inextricably linked. When we improvise, act, or dance, we have to focus intently on our fellow performers. This means we are forced to focus less on our conscious, logical thoughts. This frees us up for more creative thinking and expression.[7]

One of the conclusions of my research on improvisation is that focusing intensely on fellow improvisers and the task at hand makes it more likely that we experience a flow state. Dr. Csikszentmihalyi,[8] a Professor of Psychology and Management defines flow as an optimal psychological state when our skills match the difficulty of the task at hand. Our perception of time is altered as we get into the zone and become more present and in the moment during our chosen activity.[9]

A flow state is a creative state. It’s the opposite of crunching numbers and forcing ourselves to work out a problem with the conscious regions of our brain. So, get up, improvise, act, or dance to access your creativity.

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2. Visual Art

Art teacher Betty Edwards[10] wrote a book called Drawing on the Right Side of the Brain. Here again, we see that a shift in our attention can lead us to an increase in our creative thinking.

Edwards’ book gives art students tricks to shift the way they see the world. For example, one exercise encourages students to literally flip whatever it is they’re drawing upside down before they draw it. This forces budding artists to literally see the object in a new way. This shift allows them to focus more on the individual components and patterns of the object, which allows them to draw it better.

Shifting how we see things is another way we can access our creative brain centers. Take an art class to shut off your conscious, critical thoughts and start seeing things from a new, more creative perspective.

3. Zone Out

If there’s one thing creativity doesn’t like, it’s being coerced.

I think we’ve all felt that awful feeling of trying to force ourselves to be creative. When we force it, we’re really trying to force our logical brain regions to be creative. It’s like asking your gardener to perform your appendix surgery. It’s just not what she does.

Instead, stop forcing it. Take a break. Take a long walk or a relaxing bath or shower. Let your mind wander.

Whatever you do, stop forcing it. This break lets your creative centers rise to the surface of your attention and get heard.

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4. Practice Mindfulness

The final trick to start accessing your so-called right brain is to practice mindfulness.

Now, there’s a lot of different ways to go about mindfulness. You can take a more physical approach with a yoga class. Or you can try meditating to become more aware and in tune with your thoughts and feelings: Meditation for Beginners: How to Meditate Deeply and Quickly

You could also try to incorporate fun mindfulness exercises[11] into your everyday routine like forcing yourself to go on detours or pretending you’re a detective who needs to examine people and places closely.

Any way you do it, mindfulness exercises and training can help you become better versed in how your brain works and what your normal thought process is like on a day-to-day basis. If we’re ever going to reach our optimal creativity, we have to become an expert in how our individual brain functions. Mindfulness is one way to become your very own brain expert.

Mindfulness also has added benefits like calming us, slowing our breathing, and helping us become more observant, which are also great ways to start tapping into our creative potential.

Final Thoughts

So, it may not be correct to say that our right brain is our creative brain, but it is still a valid pursuit to try to optimize our creative brain centers.

The key to do so is to relax, become observant, shift your perspective, move your body, try something new, and, whatever you do, don’t force it.

Creativity can feel slippery. It can abandon us when we need it most, but by slowing down and looking at things from a new perspective, we can give ourselves a better chance of tapping into our ultimate creativity, even if that doesn’t exactly mean our “right brain.”

More Tips on Boosting Creativity

Featured photo credit: Kelly Sikkema via unsplash.com

Reference

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