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Embracing a Positive Mindset

Embracing a Positive Mindset

Have you ever had one of those days where from the moment you rolled out of bed, nothing seemed to go your way? You then immediately thought, “Its going to be a crappy day!”  Since you get exactly what you wish for, you face one setback after another, and it all takes on a snowball effect as one problem rolls into the next. It’s like you have a cloud of gloom following you for the remainder of the day until your head hits the pillow at night.

Sometimes when disappointments come our way, it is because we expect them to. It’s kind of like our belief system is displaced. You expect turmoil, so that is exactly what you get. We become so used to a negative mindset that the vicious cycle of discouragement becomes familiar to us after a while.

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There is so much negativity in the world from the moment when we wake up, turn on TV, and get on social media. And do you know what? It is all out of our control!  The problems of the world do not have to rest on our shoulders. But we tend to let them have an effect on us, and we sometimes play the blame game and fault situations or other people for the way we feel.

When a simple downfall hits you head on, you have a choice to let the negative energy continue or the choice to stop it in its track. Just like you would flip a light switch, you need to switch on your positive thinking or switch off the negative thinking.

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Once you realize that you have control over your feelings, you can nurture it into a positive mindset and keep the power going. You have to consciously remove the lack of optimism that squashes your right to be happy and put yourself in better frame of mind knowing that you can overcome obstacles that come your way. You can construct a consistent, peaceful frame of mind with conscious effort. It starts with knowing that you deserve to be happy and acknowledging that you are responsible for your own happiness on a daily basis. In other words, you need to cultivate that warm and fuzzy feeling within yourself and embrace it.

Three Surefire Ways to Incorporate a Positive Frame of Mind on a Daily Basis

1. Embrace it.

Make a shift in your mind that you are ready for a positive change. Have gratitude for all of the good that you have going for you. Make a list on a daily basis of what was special about your day. Start a journal that will help you chart your goals and achievements. Reward yourself for taking baby steps towards a more optimistic energy.

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2. Learn it.

Read positive quotes or inspirational stories. There are many self-help books and CDs available to educate and inspire you. Surround yourself with people who support you, and put a smile on your face instead of draining your energy. Be aware of your breathing and posture. Smile more because it will make you feel better from the inside out. Connect with others who have a more forward-looking outlook on life because it will reflect your way.

3. Believe it.

Visualize in your mind, the end result of you in a more positive state of being. Raise your expectations of what you can achieve. Stop any negative thoughts in their tracks, and replace each one with a more beneficial belief pattern. Believe in yourself and also in something greater than life itself.

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And remember: it may take a bit of practice, but we all have the power to change our thoughts and behavior. You need to make it a conscious decision on a daily basis to embrace the “I can” attitude. With a bit of discipline, better days will override the bad days. Expect good ones!

Featured photo credit: Getty Images via weebly.com

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Lorrie Ober

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Last Updated on September 17, 2018

7 Signs of an Unhappy Relationship That Makes You Feel Stuck

7 Signs of an Unhappy Relationship That Makes You Feel Stuck

Relationships are complicated and when you’re unhappy, it can be difficult to tell what’s causing it and what needs to change.

Sometimes it’s as easy as opening up to your partner about your problems, while other times it may be necessary to switch partners or roll solo to get your mind straight.

When you’re in the thick of things, it can be difficult to tell if you’re unhappy in your relationship or just unhappy in general (in which case, a relationship may be just the cure you need).

Here’re signs of an unhappy relationship that is possibly making you feel stuck:

1. You’re depressed about your home life.

No matter what you do in life, you’re going to have good and bad days. Your relationship is no different.

However, no matter what you’re going through at home, you have to feel comfortable in your own home.

If you constantly dread going home because your significant other is there, there’s a problem. Maybe it’s something you already know about, everyone has an argument or just needs some alone time.

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When that yearning to be alone becomes an insatiable obsession over the course of months and years, it’s time to realize you’re not the exception to the rule.

You’re unhappy in your relationship, and you need to take a look in the mirror and do whatever it takes to make yourself smile.

2. You aren’t comfortable being yourself.

Remember all those things you discovered about yourself when you first got together? The way your partner made you feel when you met that made you fall in love with him or her in the first place.

If they don’t make you feel that way anymore, it’s not the end of the world. If your partner makes you uncomfortable about being you, then her or she is only dragging you down. It’s up to you to decide how to handle that.

You need to be comfortable with who you are. This means being comfortable in your skin and with the way you walk, talk, look, breath, move, and all the other things that make you uniquely you.

If the person who supposedly loves you doesn’t make you feel good about yourself, know that you can do better. They’re not even one in a billion.

3. You can’t stop snooping.

Mutual trust is necessary in any relationship. The only way to get that trust is with respect.

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I can find you anywhere online, no matter how private and secure you think you are. The odds of you having a password I can’t crack are slim. If we’ve met in person, I could install a remote key logger on your device without even touching it.

Finding your information online hardly takes a clandestine organization. Any idiot with a Wi-Fi-enabled device can cyberstalk you. I’m just the only idiot in the village admitting it.

So now that we know everyone snoops, it’s time to address your personal habits. Governments snoop because they don’t trust us. If you’re snooping on your partner, it’s because you don’t trust them.

It’s ok to have doubts, and it’s perfectly normal to look into anything that looks weird, but keep in mind that data collection is only half of an investigation.

If you find yourself constantly snooping and questioning everything, clearly there’s a trust issue and the relationship likely needs to end.

4. You’re afraid of commitment.

If you’ve been dating longer than a year and you aren’t engaged, it’s never going to happen.

Commitment is important. People will come up with a million ways to describe why they can’t be committed.

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No matter who you are if you like it, you need to put a ring on it. Find an engagement ring, stick a gemstone in it and marry the person. If you’re not legally able to get married or you don’t believe in it for one reason or another, have a child (or adopt one, however you’re able to) or treat your partner’s family like your own. It’s a huge financial and mental commitment.

If you’re not ready for one or the other after some time, don’t waste anymore of your precious life on the relationship.

Your relationship should be something that propels you forward. If it’s not going anywhere, make it an open relationship and call it what it is—dating multiple people.

5. You imagine a happier life without your partner.

If all you’re doing is imagining a happier life without your partner, it’s a sign that you’re in the wrong relationship. You’re unhappy and you need to get out.

Your partner should be included in your dreams. There’s nothing wrong with wanting a future with someone.

Try to remember what you dreamed of before you got your heart broken by the realities of life, love and the pursuit of human success.

Remember when you would crush on that cute kid in class? You would secretly imagine marrying him or her and going on an adventure—that’s the way life should be.

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If you’re not at least imagining adventures together, then why are you in that relationship?

6. You resent, rather than love your partner.

When a relationship starts to crumble, you begin to resent your partner for all the things you once loved about him or her.

When you’ve reached this point, your partner has reached at least No. 2 on this list. From your partner’s perspective, your unhappiness with them is picked up as bashing them for being who they are.

If you’re both unhappy in the relationship, it’s better if it ends as quickly and painlessly as possible.

7. You chase past feelings.

It’s okay to reminisce about the past, but if all you do is wish things were like they used to be, it’s a sign you’re not on the right path.

You’re unhappy and, at the very least, you need to have an open dialogue about it. This isn’t necessarily a sign that the relationship should end, but it definitely needs a spark.

When you talk to your partner candidly about what it is you’re looking for, you never know how they’ll react. The risk alone is worth it, good or bad.

Final thoughts

If you’re feeling stuck in your current relationship, it’s time to reflect about it with your partner. Don’t ignore these signs of an unhappy relationship as they will slowly go worse and harm both you and your partner in long-term.

Featured photo credit: josh peterson via unsplash.com

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