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Five Tips to Ensure Online Dating Success After 60

Five Tips to Ensure Online Dating Success After 60

You want to meet someone and have decided to go online. That is proactive, forward-thinking, and a very great move, but care must be taken not to fall into habits that will spoil your dating experience- especially if you are an older person. Studies show that senior online dating is increasing daily and also that seniors tend to have better date choices than younger people. However, studies also reveal a lot of challenges online daters commonly face that result in bad dating experiences. Keeping these tips in mind will help a great deal.

1. Never go “Wow!” over the pictures.

While on the internet, it’s very easy to feel in control and maintain very high expectations. The feeling of being in control is wonderful and anyone would confess that it makes them feel powerful, but you have to fight it- especially as an older person.

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If what you desire is a true connection- a true relationship with a person whom you love and who loves you in return, you must bring your most empathetic and mature self into the dating adventure. This probably is the reason why seniors often make better choices in online dates and why senior online dating sites are experiencing more success compared to other online dating sectors.

This simply means not saying, “Wow, she is gorgeous but I prefer blondes to brunettes.” You wouldn’t behave this way sitting across from this person, so don’t do it online. What you need is happiness, so go for it!

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2. Avoid being obsessed about details.

Your focus shouldn’t be on which movies they like, bars they frequent, schools they attended, or restaurants they visit. If what you want is true happiness and you intend genuine love, your focus should be on where he or she lives, whether or not he or she seems intelligent, and whether or not he or she has similar interests. Don’t be deceived into believing that someone out there exactly suits your preferences.  Instead, focus on the most important and desired traits. What’s most important is the profile tone, and evaluating it should be your focus. If you can evaluate the profile tone (which may seem difficult), you may have a better chance of guessing what the person is like even without profile images or meeting him or her in person.

If you focus on trivial things, there is the chance you will pass over the profiles of people who could actually make you happy. Finding a genuine relationship is about how you both understand your differences, yet meet each other’s desires. The key to this is reading between the lines to get a clear understanding of the person. Is he or she well-adjusted, reasonable, friendly- a person to whom you would be naturally attracted if you were to meet him or her in person without regard for movie tastes, books, and restaurants?

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Never ignore signs of bitterness, boastfulness, and insincerity. You can easily detect if someone is insincere if there are any claims of perfection! Everyone has flaws, and claims of perfection in many areas is a warning sign. Also beware of a person whose profile states, “My friend did it and suggested I have the same experience so I took it on”.

3. Mind personality claims.

Most explicit claims about a person’s personality should be ignored. People are very unreliable when reporting about themselves, and understanding this will save you a lot of trouble. People who ignore warning signs about personality claims in profiles have bitter stories to tell about online dating. Claims about oneself may not always be lies, but the way people see themselves is frequently different from how others see them. It’s best to meet people and confirm their claims before putting confidence into those claims. Keep in mind that we humans are expert “self-justifiers” and only external events can really reveal negative traits. Am I right? The only claims worth believing are age, education, location, and job. When it comes to self-evaluation, people are biased and self-aggrandizing.

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4. Don’t get too attached when judging a profile.

You may have evaluated a profile but that’s not all. No matter how great you are at evaluating profiles or how great a person seems to match your tastes, there is still lots more to know about him or her. You can learn only a little from a profile, but you can learn much from behavior: the tone of voice, eye contact, how responsively and beautifully they smile, how attentive they are during discussions, how and what they say about themselves, how they ask questions, and so much more. Never ignore the fact that vital information is only disclosed by people when they are relaxed and in a good mood. Your goal shouldn’t be to look for the perfect person that suits your taste but to have fun with the possibility of meeting your match.

5. Don’t move too fast.

It’s never advisable to do this. However, there is a greater chance of moving too fast in online dating. It is a big temptation. “His profile says he needs a relationship. Would he even be on a dating site if he were not really serious? I have gotten to know so much about him/her even though we’ve met only once. What am I waiting for?” Getting impatient with dating and moving too fast in a relationship is the worst thing you can do. After a few dates you are still getting to know this person while growing the connection. Getting attached too soon can scare off your date or dampen your budding relationship. Note: It’s difficult when you badly want to have a connection with someone, but getting to know another person takes time, so take the time.

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MICHAEL LILY

Writer/entrepreneural development specialist

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Last Updated on January 21, 2020

How to Motivate People Around You and Inspire Them

How to Motivate People Around You and Inspire Them

If I was a super hero I’d want my super power to be the ability to motivate everyone around me. Think of how many problems you could solve just by being able to motivate people towards their goals. You wouldn’t be frustrated by lazy co-workers. You wouldn’t be mad at your partner for wasting the weekend in front of the TV. Also, the more people around you are motivated toward their dreams, the more you can capitalize off their successes.

Being able to motivate people is key to your success at work, at home, and in the future because no one can achieve anything alone. We all need the help of others.

So, how to motivate people? Here are 7 ways to motivate others even you can do.

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1. Listen

Most people start out trying to motivate someone by giving them a lengthy speech, but this rarely works because motivation has to start inside others. The best way to motivate others is to start by listening to what they want to do. Find out what the person’s goals and dreams are. If it’s something you want to encourage, then continue through these steps.

2. Ask Open-Ended Questions

Open-ended questions are the best way to figure out what someone’s dreams are. If you can’t think of anything to ask, start with, “What have you always wanted to do?”

“Why do you want to do that?”

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“What makes you so excited about it?”

“How long has that been your dream?”

You need this information the help you with the following steps.

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3. Encourage

This is the most important step, because starting a dream is scary. People are so scared they will fail or look stupid, many never try to reach their goals, so this is where you come in. You must encourage them. Say things like, “I think you will be great at that.” Better yet, say, “I think your skills in X will help you succeed.” For example if you have a friend who wants to own a pet store, say, “You are so great with animals, I think you will be excellent at running a pet store.”

4. Ask About What the First Step Will Be

After you’ve encouraged them, find how they will start. If they don’t know, you can make suggestions, but it’s better to let the person figure out the first step themselves so they can be committed to the process.

5. Dream

This is the most fun step, because you can dream about success. Say things like, “Wouldn’t it be cool if your business took off, and you didn’t have to work at that job you hate?” By allowing others to dream, you solidify the motivation in place and connect their dreams to a future reality.

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6. Ask How You Can Help

Most of the time, others won’t need anything from you, but it’s always good to offer. Just letting the person know you’re there will help motivate them to start. And, who knows, maybe your skills can help.

7. Follow Up

Periodically, over the course of the next year, ask them how their goal is going. This way you can find out what progress has been made. You may need to do the seven steps again, or they may need motivation in another area of their life.

Final Thoughts

By following these seven steps, you’ll be able to encourage the people around you to achieve their dreams and goals. In return, you’ll be more passionate about getting to your goals, you’ll be surrounded by successful people, and others will want to help you reach your dreams …

Oh, and you’ll become a motivational super hero. Time to get a cape!

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Featured photo credit: Thought Catalog via unsplash.com

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