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Five Tips to Ensure Online Dating Success After 60

Five Tips to Ensure Online Dating Success After 60

You want to meet someone and have decided to go online. That is proactive, forward-thinking, and a very great move, but care must be taken not to fall into habits that will spoil your dating experience- especially if you are an older person. Studies show that senior online dating is increasing daily and also that seniors tend to have better date choices than younger people. However, studies also reveal a lot of challenges online daters commonly face that result in bad dating experiences. Keeping these tips in mind will help a great deal.

1. Never go “Wow!” over the pictures.

While on the internet, it’s very easy to feel in control and maintain very high expectations. The feeling of being in control is wonderful and anyone would confess that it makes them feel powerful, but you have to fight it- especially as an older person.

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If what you desire is a true connection- a true relationship with a person whom you love and who loves you in return, you must bring your most empathetic and mature self into the dating adventure. This probably is the reason why seniors often make better choices in online dates and why senior online dating sites are experiencing more success compared to other online dating sectors.

This simply means not saying, “Wow, she is gorgeous but I prefer blondes to brunettes.” You wouldn’t behave this way sitting across from this person, so don’t do it online. What you need is happiness, so go for it!

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2. Avoid being obsessed about details.

Your focus shouldn’t be on which movies they like, bars they frequent, schools they attended, or restaurants they visit. If what you want is true happiness and you intend genuine love, your focus should be on where he or she lives, whether or not he or she seems intelligent, and whether or not he or she has similar interests. Don’t be deceived into believing that someone out there exactly suits your preferences.  Instead, focus on the most important and desired traits. What’s most important is the profile tone, and evaluating it should be your focus. If you can evaluate the profile tone (which may seem difficult), you may have a better chance of guessing what the person is like even without profile images or meeting him or her in person.

If you focus on trivial things, there is the chance you will pass over the profiles of people who could actually make you happy. Finding a genuine relationship is about how you both understand your differences, yet meet each other’s desires. The key to this is reading between the lines to get a clear understanding of the person. Is he or she well-adjusted, reasonable, friendly- a person to whom you would be naturally attracted if you were to meet him or her in person without regard for movie tastes, books, and restaurants?

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Never ignore signs of bitterness, boastfulness, and insincerity. You can easily detect if someone is insincere if there are any claims of perfection! Everyone has flaws, and claims of perfection in many areas is a warning sign. Also beware of a person whose profile states, “My friend did it and suggested I have the same experience so I took it on”.

3. Mind personality claims.

Most explicit claims about a person’s personality should be ignored. People are very unreliable when reporting about themselves, and understanding this will save you a lot of trouble. People who ignore warning signs about personality claims in profiles have bitter stories to tell about online dating. Claims about oneself may not always be lies, but the way people see themselves is frequently different from how others see them. It’s best to meet people and confirm their claims before putting confidence into those claims. Keep in mind that we humans are expert “self-justifiers” and only external events can really reveal negative traits. Am I right? The only claims worth believing are age, education, location, and job. When it comes to self-evaluation, people are biased and self-aggrandizing.

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4. Don’t get too attached when judging a profile.

You may have evaluated a profile but that’s not all. No matter how great you are at evaluating profiles or how great a person seems to match your tastes, there is still lots more to know about him or her. You can learn only a little from a profile, but you can learn much from behavior: the tone of voice, eye contact, how responsively and beautifully they smile, how attentive they are during discussions, how and what they say about themselves, how they ask questions, and so much more. Never ignore the fact that vital information is only disclosed by people when they are relaxed and in a good mood. Your goal shouldn’t be to look for the perfect person that suits your taste but to have fun with the possibility of meeting your match.

5. Don’t move too fast.

It’s never advisable to do this. However, there is a greater chance of moving too fast in online dating. It is a big temptation. “His profile says he needs a relationship. Would he even be on a dating site if he were not really serious? I have gotten to know so much about him/her even though we’ve met only once. What am I waiting for?” Getting impatient with dating and moving too fast in a relationship is the worst thing you can do. After a few dates you are still getting to know this person while growing the connection. Getting attached too soon can scare off your date or dampen your budding relationship. Note: It’s difficult when you badly want to have a connection with someone, but getting to know another person takes time, so take the time.

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MICHAEL LILY

Writer/entrepreneural development specialist

What Is Love and What Is Not 4 Proven Ways to Strengthen Relationships 5 Things You Must Do If You’re Moving From Japan To The US Do All Men Cheat and Why Do They Cheat on Their Loved One? Five Tips to Ensure Online Dating Success After 60

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Last Updated on August 15, 2018

5 Reasons Why Tidying Your Room Can Change Your Life

5 Reasons Why Tidying Your Room Can Change Your Life

You step into your room and stumble upon something hard that hurts you, you have to tiptoe your way to your bed because there is not enough space to walk, your bed has huge piles of clothing spread everywhere, your table groans under books, newspapers, cups, and all other kinds of stuff, and your closet looks like a ransacked outlet store post-Black Friday. If that’s a common scenario for you, then you are living in a space that disrupts your ability to use it well.

Your room is the place where you start and end your day. Whether you are aware of it or not, the physical space in which you live and spend a lot of your time has an important role to play in how we behave. Having a bedroom in such a messed state can have a variety of effects on your life. Our mind cannot live completely independent from our environment; therefore, keeping the room tidy, organized, and clean is significant. A straightened room with a made bed and pile-free floor will not only bring happiness and organization to your life, it will also change your life!

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Video Summary

Here are five reasons that can spark the desire in you for tidying your room to create change in your life.

1. You will know what resources you have

Do you find yourself looking everywhere for your matching bracelet or clothes when going for a party or out with friends? Or does it happen that you buy a pair of pants, only to find out later that you had a better one to match the shirt you were wearing to the event? Keeping your bedroom tidy will let you know what things you have – the shoes, clothes, jewelry, books, magazines, and stationary – that are among your belongings so that you don’t have to rummage for them everywhere or go and buy new things when you already have better alternatives.

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2. Your thoughts will also be tidied up

Tidying your place also tidies up your mind. It is suggested by psychologists that a messy room is a representation of a disorganized mental state. When one is tidy and organized it also builds into their life, helping them in everything.

As Marie Kondo states in The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up, “From the moment you start tidying, you will be compelled to reset your life. As a result, your life will start to change.” So, if you want to bring a change to your life, go ahead with cleaning and organizing your space and start a tidying marathon.

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3. Tidying your room can save you time

Tidying your room and organizing your space not only lets you know about the stuff that you have, but it can also save you a lot of time, since you will know where to find something when you need it. Now, when you wake up early in the morning, you don’t have to search frantically as minutes tick by for your special pair of shoes, your watch, or the blouse that you really wanted to wear. The start of your day will be a smooth one instead, and you will be able to make it out of the door to your work or college on time.

4. You will be more social

Would you like your friend to see your messy room? I would probably be too embarrassed if my friend came over and got to look at my room in a messy state. When you are ashamed of the state of your bedroom, it is less likelihood that you invite anyone over. On the other hand, when your house is clean, you are ready for company and are also more likely to invite or welcome someone over on the spur of the moment. Tidying your room helps in preventing the creation of a boundary around you; therefore, you will become more social.

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5. Your health will improve

Tidying your room also bring with itself some health benefits. When your bedroom becomes a peaceful and ordered place with no clutter around, you will feel less stressed and less distracted. This means you can spend some relaxing time before bed and go to sleep calmly. From studies, it has been found that those who have cluttered bedrooms full of their hoardings take a long time to fall asleep and their sleep quality is also poor enough that it leads an increase chance of depression and stress. It’s clear enough. Tidying your room will have a positive effect on your health and the thought of going to the bedroom would be a pleasant and calming one. Not just this, but a tidy room will no more be home to bacteria and viruses that can compromise your health.

Conclusion

No doubt, cleaning up a really messy room and streamlining your surroundings is no easy job but, with a little determination and taking a methodical approach, it is totally doable. You just need to get started. Marie Kondo’s The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up, one of New York Times Best Sellers, can serve as the perfect manual to guide you. Happy Cleaning!

Featured photo credit: Allen Goldblatt via flickr.com

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