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5 Reasons Why The Smarter You Are, The Harder It Is For You To Fall In Love

5 Reasons Why The Smarter You Are, The Harder It Is For You To Fall In Love

If you belong to a group of more intelligent people, your love life may be quite complicated. Finding love and keeping it may come surprisingly difficult to you. You may feel misunderstood in relationships and not quite sure what you do wrong. The answer, as surprising as it seems, may lie in your IQ.

Intelligent people seem like they have it all – they exceed at school, their careers are flourishing, their social lives are full of excitement, and their personalities can win over almost anyone. Yet, more often than not, they have difficulty in finding the right partner, falling in love and forming long-lasting relationships.

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If you are a highly intelligent person, chances are that your intellect is actually responsible for making your love life slightly more complicated than you would prefer it. Or, if your love interest is highly intelligent, you can now understand his or her unusual ways.

1. Intelligent people value independence

It may often seem harsh, but smart people value their independence more than anything else. As independent thinkers, they often transfer this quality to other areas of their life. It is not that they don’t feel the love and need for the significant other, but their need for freedom doesn’t stop once they are in a relationship. This creates tension with their partners especially once they move in together. Their partners simply need to understand and respect their personal time and space in order to form a strong and lasting relationship with them.

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2. They never rush into relationships

When smart people are single, it is usually because they have made a conscious decision to do so. Although they may seem disinterested to the possible love partners, it is sometimes beneficial for a person to be single for some time as they can get a chance to reflect on their past relationships, find mistakes, but also learn a lot about themselves and grow as a person. This trait makes them look distant and cold, but in fact, it helps them to never look needy and rush into relationships for the wrong reasons.

3. They can’t stop themselves from analyzing things

Highly intelligent people seem to have differently wired brains. They are most often over-thinkers and way too analytical which can be harmful for them as people won’t always wait for them to debate all pros and cons. Yet, in a lot of times, this quality saves them from falling too fast. Yes, love shouldn’t be rationalized, yet sometimes we get blindsided by emotions and suffer way more once we get to the rational part.

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4. They are cautious

Similarly to the previous trait, smart people find it hard to believe in the concept of love at first sight. Again, it is not because they lack the romantic gene, but simply because they can more vividly recall the pain from the past. Therefore, they tend to be more cautious. Although they may seem suspicious, it is just their defense mechanism against getting hurt.

5. Professionals before lovers

Smart people often seem to be more focused on their careers than their love life. This comes as no surprise, after everything mentioned before. Since they tend to be misunderstood a lot in relationships, their professions are their go-to place to feel good, appreciated and successful. Their careers are their comfort zone since it provides them with the opportunity to use their rational side and their analysis is put to good use at work. This is why they usually get married a bit later than their peers, which actually could work in their favor, since they can enter the marriage as fulfilled and successful.

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Featured photo credit: https://unsplash.com/ via images.unsplash.com

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Ana Erkic

Social Media Consultant, Online Marketing Strategist, Copywriter, CEO and Co-Founder of Growato

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Last Updated on June 19, 2019

6 Ways to Be a Successful Risk Taker and Take More Chances

6 Ways to Be a Successful Risk Taker and Take More Chances

I’ve stood on the edge of my own personal cliffs many times. Each time I jumped, something different happened. There were risks that started off great, but eventually faded. There were risks that left me falling until I hit the ground. There were risks that started slow, but built into massive successes.

Every risk is different, but every risk is the same. You need to have some fundamentals ready before you jump, but not too many.

It wouldn’t be a risk if you knew everything that was about to happen, would it? Here’re 6 ways to be a successful risk taker.

1. Understand That Failure Is Going to Happen a Lot

It’s part of life. Everything we do has failure attached to it. All successful people have stories of massive failure attached to them. Thinking that your risk is going to be pain free and run as smooth as silk is insane.

Expect some pain and failure. Actually, expect a lot of it. Expect the sleepless nights with crazy thoughts of insecurity that leave you trembling under the covers. It’s going to happen, no matter how positive you are about the risk you are about to take.

When failure hits, the only options are to keep going or quit. If you expect falling into a meadow of flowers and frolicking unicorns, then you’re going to immediately quit once you realize that getting to that meadow requires you to go through a rock filled cave filled with hungry bats.

2. Trust the Muse

Writing a story isn’t a big risk. It’s really just a risk on my time. So when I start writing a story, I’m scared it will be time wasted. Of course, it never really is. Even if the story doesn’t turn out fabulous, I still practiced.

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When I’ve taken risks in my life, the successful ones always seemed to happen when I followed the muse. Steven Pressfield describes the muse,

“The Muse demands depth. Shallow does not work for her. If we’re seeking her help, we can’t stay in the kiddie end. When we work, we have to go hard and go deep.”

The muse is a goddess who wants our attention and wants us to work on our passion.

If you’re taking a risk in anything, it’s assumed that there is some passion built up behind that risk. That passion, deep inside you, is the muse. Trust it, focus on it, listen to it.

The most successful articles and stories I write are the ones I’ve focused all my attention on. There were no interruptions during their creative development. I didn’t check my phone or go watch my Twitter feed. I was fully engaged in my work.

Trust the muse, focus your attention on your risk, let the ideas and path develop themselves, and leave the distractions at the side of the road.

3. Remember to Be Authentic

Taking a risk and then turning into something you’re not, is only going to lead to disaster. Whether you are risking a new relationship or new opportunity, you must be yourself throughout the entire process.

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How many times have you acted like you loved something just because the men or woman you just started going out with loved it?

For example, I’m not an office worker. I have an incredibly hard time working in a confined timeline (ie. 9-5). That’s why I write. I can do it whenever the mood strikes, I don’t have somebody breathing down my neck, telling me that I’m five minutes late, or missed a comma somewhere. I don’t have to walk on eggshells wondering if what I’m writing will get me fired or make me lose a promotion. I can just be myself, period.

One girlfriend didn’t understand that. She believed solely in the 9-5 motto, specifically something in human resources because that was a very stable job. I was scared for my future, but I stuck with the relationship because of my own insecurities and acted like I would do it to make her happy.

Here’s a tip: NEVER take away from your happiness to make somebody else satisfied (note I didn’t say happy).

Making somebody else happy will make you happy. Doing something to satisfy somebody is murder on your soul.

4. Don’t Take Any Risks While You’re Not Clearheaded

I’d been considering the risk for a couple weeks. It all sounded good. I was 22 and I could be rich in a couple of years. That’s what they were selling me, anyways.

One night, while at a house party with some friends, I found myself at a computer. A couple of my friends were standing nearby and asked me what I was doing. I told them I was considering starting my own business and it was only going to cost me $1,500.

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Of course, when a bunch of drunk people are surrounded by more drunk people, things get enthusiastic. It sounded like the best business venture in the world to everybody, including me. So I signed up and gave them my credit card number.

A few painful months and close to $4,000 dollars lost later, I quit the business. I was young and fell into the pyramid scheme trap. It was an expensive drunk decision.

Drinking heavily and making decisions has a proven track record of failure. So when you have something important to decide, don’t let your emotions take over your brain.

5. Fully Understand What You’re Risking

It was the start of my baseball comeback. I got a tryout with a professional scout and killed it. After the tryout, he talked to my girlfriend and myself, making sure we understood I would be gone for up to 6 months at a time. That strain on the relationship could be tough.

We understood. I left to play ball, chose to stay in the city I played in, and a year later we broke up. Not because of baseball, see point 3 above. Taking big risks can have massive impacts on everything in your life from relationships to money. Know what you’re risking before you take the risk.

If you believe the risk will be worth it or you have the support you need from your family, then go ahead and make the leap.

You can get more guidance on how to take calculated risks from this article: How to Take Calculated Risk to Achieve More and Become Successful

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6. Remember This Is Your One Shot Only

As far as we know officially, this is our one shot at life, so why not take some risks?

The top thing people are saddened by on their deathbeds are these regrets. They wish they did more, asked that girl in the coffee shop out, spoke out when they should have, or did what they were passionate about.

Don’t regret. Learn and experience. Live. Take the risks you believe in. Be yourself and make the world a better place.

Now go ahead, take that risk and be successful at it!

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Featured photo credit: Unsplash via unsplash.com

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