What does it take for us to get to the point where we finally say “I need to make a dramatic change to improve my health.”?
It’s not easy for us to admit that we’ve been winging it health-wise. We get busy, lazy, and easily distracted and ignore the fact that we need to make a desperate change for the better. We become submissive to our willpower, succumb to temptations, and end up eating what we shouldn’t, then we overindulge and delve into laziness! Simply because we have no plan of action to get us started or to keep us going.
Have you ever tried to start a self-care regime but then ended it quickly because you let daily stresses and bad habits take over? I know how it is to think “I will get started on taking care of myself tomorrow… or next week… because right now I am going to eat this donut!”
As a procrastinator myself, I know that what actually happens is that next week comes around and I’ve not even begun to get started, because getting fast food on the run and being a couch potato is much easier. And it’s all because we haven’t yet readied our mindset to begin a better way of existing.
For many people, taking care of themselves is time consuming. It is way too easy to abuse eating the right way. Taking vitamins is just one more thing to do and exercising is hard to fit into our busy lives. Sound familiar?
Trust me, I’ve been there, I am there, and I get it!
So, If you are one of the many people stuck in a bad cycle of abusing your health, what do you do? How do you break the bad cycle and where do you begin to make it better? I want to help you to have a place to start, with a plan that you can stick with and to be able to fall back on if or when the bad habits set back in.
I’m not going to bore you with all of the technical and physical reasons of why you should eat better, exercise, and drink 8 glasses of water a day, so on and so forth, because you already know that! Right? You’ve already heard it and read about it over and over!
I would, however, like to motivate you to start your new self-care habits by helping you to make a plan ahead of time. That way, you can be on your way to starting a life-long habit of extreme self care!
Examining The Who, What, When, Where, How, And Why To Getting To A Healthier You!
This is the beginnings of setting a goal for yourself. Genuinely answer the question “Why” you want this change to take place. Write down your answers and refer back to it when you need to. We all have different reasons to want better health.
Do you want to get better health because you are packing on a few extra pounds, or maybe you a have been getting out of breath when you walk a significant distance? Or perhaps you simply want to turn back a few years to feel younger and more vibrant? For me, my reason is for my first grandchild who is on his way. I want to embrace this well-awaited journey with health, balance, and a lot of energy — plus to not look and feel like a grandma.
We all have different reasons for wanting better health. You may have one particular reason or a whole list. Remember, it is not always about weight, though that is possibly a good part of it, along with exercising, stretching, and finding time to relax with some well-needed R&R!
A healthier way of living is an ongoing need for every one of us. It is simply feeling better health-wise and being mindful of how you treat yourself! It is about having more energy, or possibly conquering depression or anxiety. It is about living a higher quality of life for yourself and for those who love you.
Get Started By Asking Yourself These Six Questions
Write your answers down (some examples are included). Personally, I like to make notes of things like this in my cell phone.
WHO?: Who do I want to have support me during this transitional change? Or, would I rather keep this journey to myself and do it on my own? Another “Who” question could be “Who am I doing this for?” (i.e. my first grandchild on the way.)
WHAT?: What do I need to have on hand to help me in this process?(i.e. fruit, blender, yoga mat and yoga DVD, etc.)
WHEN?: When do I plan to start this? (i.e. I will start on my next day off as to get started without stress and distractions.)
WHERE?: Where do I see my self a few months from now? (i.e. balanced, rested, thinner, and stronger.)
HOW?: How will I go about this transition? (i.e. I will change my eating habits to the following… I will make my exercise habits as the following… I will balance my inner self by…)
WHY?: Why am I doing this? (i.e. I want to feel fit like I was in my younger years, healthier, more energized, able to keep up with demands and stresses.)
Your answers may not be as condensed as my general examples above.
We all have different answers to these questions.
We all have different reasons for wanting to become healthier.
Your answers and reasons may change in the future!
If, or when you get off track health-wise, refer back to these six questions and answers to get yourself started once again.
Get started A.S.A.P. without procrastinating! Go to the grocery store to get what you need. If you have decided to, get support from your family and let them know you have a change in the process. Plus, tell them not to judge or criticize you! Make your plans and get excited about it!
Remember to consult with your physician if you deem it necessary. Most importantly, let your reason “why” drive you through!
You’re standing behind the curtain, just about to make your way on stage to face the many faces half-shrouded in darkness in front of you. As you move towards the spotlight, your body starts to feel heavier with each step. A familiar thump echoes throughout your body – your heartbeat has gone off the charts.
Don’t worry, you’re not the only one with glossophobia(also known as speech anxiety or the fear of speaking to large crowds). Sometimes, the anxiety happens long before you even stand on stage.
Your body’s defence mechanism responds by causing a part of your brain to release adrenaline into your blood – the same chemical that gets released as if you were being chased by a lion.
Here’s a step-by-step guide to help you overcome your fear of public speaking:
1. Prepare yourself mentally and physically
According to experts, we’re built to display anxiety and to recognize it in others. If your body and mind are anxious, your audience will notice. Hence, it’s important to prepare yourself before the big show so that you arrive on stage confident, collected and ready.
“Your outside world is a reflection of your inside world. What goes on in the inside, shows on the outside.” – Bob Proctor
Exercising lightly before a presentation helps get your blood circulating and sends oxygen to the brain. Mental exercises, on the other hand, can help calm the mind and nerves. Here are some useful ways to calm your racing heart when you start to feel the butterflies in your stomach:
If you’re nervous, chances are your body will feel the same way. Your body gets tense, your muscles feel tight or you’re breaking in cold sweat. The audience will notice you are nervous.
If you observe that this is exactly what is happening to you minutes before a speech, do a couple of stretches to loosen and relax your body. It’s better to warm up before every speech as it helps to increase the functional potential of the body as a whole. Not only that, it increases muscle efficiency, improves reaction time and your movements.
Here are some exercises to loosen up your body before show time:
Neck and shoulder rolls – This helps relieve upper body muscle tension and pressure as the rolls focus on rotating the head and shoulders, loosening the muscle. Stress and anxiety can make us rigid within this area which can make you feel agitated, especially when standing.
Arm stretches – We often use this part of our muscles during a speech or presentation through our hand gestures and movements. Stretching these muscles can reduce arm fatigue, loosen you up and improve your body language range.
Waist twists – Place your hands on your hips and rotate your waist in a circular motion. This exercise focuses on loosening the abdominal and lower back regions which is essential as it can cause discomfort and pain, further amplifying any anxieties you may experience.
Ever felt parched seconds before speaking? And then coming up on stage sounding raspy and scratchy in front of the audience? This happens because the adrenaline from stage fright causes your mouth to feel dried out.
To prevent all that, it’s essential we stay adequately hydrated before a speech. A sip of water will do the trick. However, do drink in moderation so that you won’t need to go to the bathroom constantly.
Try to avoid sugary beverages and caffeine, since it’s a diuretic – meaning you’ll feel thirstier. It will also amplify your anxiety which prevents you from speaking smoothly.
Meditation is well-known as a powerful tool to calm the mind. ABC’s Dan Harris, co-anchor of Nightline and Good Morning America weekend and author of the book titled10% Happier , recommends that meditation can help individuals to feel significantly calmer, faster.
Meditation is like a workout for your mind. It gives you the strength and focus to filter out the negativity and distractions with words of encouragement, confidence and strength.
Mindfulness meditation, in particular, is a popular method to calm yourself before going up on the big stage. The practice involves sitting comfortably, focusing on your breathing and then bringing your mind’s attention to the present without drifting into concerns about the past or future – which likely includes floundering on stage.
Here’s a nice example of guided meditation before public speaking:
2. Focus on your goal
One thing people with a fear of public speaking have in common is focusing too much on themselves and the possibility of failure.
Do I look funny? What if I can’t remember what to say? Do I look stupid? Will people listen to me? Does anyone care about what I’m talking about?’
Instead of thinking this way, shift your attention to your one true purpose – contributing something of value to your audience.
Decide on the progress you’d like your audience to make after your presentation. Notice their movements and expressions to adapt your speech to ensure that they are having a good time to leave the room as better people.
If your own focus isn’t beneficial and what it should be when you’re speaking, then shift it to what does. This is also key to establishing trust during your presentation as the audience can clearly see that you have their interests at heart.
3. Convert negativity to positivity
There are two sides constantly battling inside of us – one is filled with strength and courage while the other is doubt and insecurities. Which one will you feed?
‘What if I mess up this speech? What if I’m not funny enough? What if I forget what to say?’
It’s no wonder why many of us are uncomfortable giving a presentation. All we do is bring ourselves down before we got a chance to prove ourselves. This is also known as a self-fulfilling prophecy – a belief that comes true because we are acting as if it already is. If you think you’re incompetent, then it will eventually become true.
Motivational coaches tout that positive mantras and affirmations tend to boost your confidents for the moments that matter most. Say to yourself: “I’ll ace this speech and I can do it!”
Take advantage of your adrenaline rush to encourage positive outcome rather than thinking of the negative ‘what ifs’.
Here’s a video of Psychologist Kelly McGonigal who encourages her audience to turn stress into something positive as well as provide methods on how to cope with it:
4. Understand your content
Knowing your content at your fingertips helps reduce your anxiety because there is one less thing to worry about. One way to get there is to practice numerous times before your actual speech.
However, memorizing your script word-for-word is not encouraged. You can end up freezing should you forget something. You’ll also risk sounding unnatural and less approachable.
“No amount of reading or memorizing will make you successful in life. It is the understanding and the application of wise thought that counts.” – Bob Proctor
Many people unconsciously make the mistake of reading from their slides or memorizing their script word-for-word without understanding their content – a definite way to stress themselves out.
Understanding your speech flow and content makes it easier for you to convert ideas and concepts into your own words which you can then clearly explain to others in a conversational manner. Designing your slides to include text prompts is also an easy hack to ensure you get to quickly recall your flow when your mind goes blank.
One way to understand is to memorize the over-arching concepts or ideas in your pitch. It helps you speak more naturally and let your personality shine through. It’s almost like taking your audience on a journey with a few key milestones.
5. Practice makes perfect
Like most people, many of us are not naturally attuned to public speaking. Rarely do individuals walk up to a large audience and present flawlessly without any research and preparation.
In fact, some of the top presenters make it look easy during showtime because they have spent countless hours behind-the-scenes in deep practice. Even great speakers like the late John F. Kennedy would spend months preparing his speech beforehand.
Public speaking, like any other skill, requires practice – whether it be practicing your speech countless of times in front of a mirror or making notes. As the saying goes, practice makes perfect!
6. Be authentic
There’s nothing wrong with feeling stressed before going up to speak in front of an audience.
Many people fear public speaking because they fear others will judge them for showing their true, vulnerable self. However, vulnerability can sometimes help you come across as more authentic and relatable as a speaker.
Drop the pretence of trying to act or speak like someone else and you’ll find that it’s worth the risk. You become more genuine, flexible and spontaneous, which makes it easier to handle unpredictable situations – whether it’s getting tough questions from the crowd or experiencing an unexpected technical difficulty.
To find out your authentic style of speaking is easy. Just pick a topic or issue you are passionate about and discuss this like you normally would with a close family or friend. It is like having a conversation with someone in a personal one-to-one setting. A great way to do this on stage is to select a random audience member(with a hopefully calming face) and speak to a single person at a time during your speech. You’ll find that it’s easier trying to connect to one person at a time than a whole room.
With that said, being comfortable enough to be yourself in front of others may take a little time and some experience, depending how comfortable you are with being yourself in front of others. But once you embrace it, stage fright will not be as intimidating as you initially thought.
Presenters like Barack Obama are a prime example of a genuine and passionate speaker:
7. Post speech evaluation
Last but not the least, if you’ve done public speaking and have been scarred from a bad experience, try seeing it as a lesson learned to improve yourself as a speaker.
Don’t beat yourself up after a presentation
We are the hardest on ourselves and it’s good to be. But when you finish delivering your speech or presentation, give yourself some recognition and a pat on the back.
You managed to finish whatever you had to do and did not give up. You did not let your fears and insecurities get to you. Take a little more pride in your work and believe in yourself.
Improve your next speech
As mentioned before, practice does make perfect. If you want to improve your public speaking skills, try asking someone to film you during a speech or presentation. Afterwards, watch and observe what you can do to improve yourself next time.
Here are some questions you can ask yourself after every speech:
How did I do?
Are there any areas for improvement?
Did I sound or look stressed?
Did I stumble on my words? Why?
Was I saying “um” too often?
How was the flow of the speech?
Write everything you observed down and keep practicing and improving. In time, you’ll be able to better manage your fears of public speaking and appear more confident when it counts.
If you want even more tips about public speaking or delivering a great presentation, check out these articles too: