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Get Your Ex Back Using The No Contact Rule

Get Your Ex Back Using The No Contact Rule

Breaking up with a boyfriend or a girlfriend isn’t something someone would ever wish to happen to another. It’s very hard to bear with, although in many cases it’s the very right thing to do.

Unfortunately, sometimes a couple would have to break up in order to fix their relationship. That’s where the No Contact Rule comes into play.

The No Contact Rule has been around for ages, the name itself already defines its meaning.

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In case you don’t really get it, the No Contract Rule requires you to refrain yourself from contacting your ex for a set period of time. Although this rule can also be used to maintain a breakup, this post is mainly about how to get back with your ex through this rule.

First, you should know that this rule may not work for everyone. It’s not a one rule fits all kind of thing. Fortunately, before you try this rule there are ways to find out if it’ll actually work for you, such as quizzes.

Why stay away from your ex if you want to get him or her back?

After a breakup, some ex-boyfriends or girlfriends usually don’t want to be bothered. If you think that it may be the best time to try to get back with him or her, you may be wrong. In fact, you may even push your ex further away.

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You have to give it time. Time is needed for even yourself because you don’t want to rush and make a mistake that would worsen the situation.

Furthermore, ignoring your ex isn’t a bad thing at all. Try it and you should see how much you’ll be missed. Sometimes two persons in a relationship may need just a little time apart to fix their issues.

How long should you use the No Contact Rule?

There are many articles written about the length of time needed to achieve that. But in my opinion, I think you should know when the length of time has been reached through the results you’re getting from it.

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What do I really mean about that? Let’s say you’re observing the No Contact Rule, you’re doing your best and not calling nor texting your ex. And then out of nowhere you receive a text from him or her stating “Honey, I’m sorry for everything that has happened, I’m ready to prove to you that I’m a changed person.”

In this case, many people would allow this person back in their lives in the hope of seeing the change. The length of time spent observing the No Contact Rule shouldn’t be a problem for you here. What’s important is that your ex has admitted that he or she was wrong and is making some efforts to change for the better. Isn’t that what you wanted in the first place? I think it is.

On the other hand, if you receive a text from your ex disrespecting or using some harsh words towards you while you’re following the No Contact Rule, then you shouldn’t answer. This is where it really does matter to set a number of days in the hope of reversing the situation.

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The 21 Day No Contact Rule

Some experts recommend three totally different time-frames to choose from and they are as followed. The 21 Day No Contact Rule is the shortest one you can do depending on your situation. But if you think you’ll need to stop yourself from contacting your ex for a longer time-frame, you can either go with the 30 Day Rule or the 45 Day Rule.

Although this rule is very difficult to follow and attain success, those who put their feeling aside and focus on their goal usually reach their expectations. To be honest, it’ll be a very difficult journey. I’d be lying to you if I were to tell you otherwise. The good thing is that many people have done it with success before. Therefore, you too can do it if you play your cards right.

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Last Updated on November 5, 2019

How to Memorize a Speech the Smart Way

How to Memorize a Speech the Smart Way

Did you know that 75% of the population suffers from glossophobia? That scary sounding word is one of the most common phobia’s in the world, fear of public speaking.

I’ll bet even as you are reading this, you are getting nervous thinking about giving a speech.

I have got good news for you. In this article, I will share with you a step by step method on how to memorize a speech the smart way. Once you have this method down, your confidence in yourself to deliver a successful speech will increase substantially. Read on to feel well prepared the next time you have to memorize and deliver a speech.

Common Mistakes of Memorizing a Speech

Before we get to the actual process of how to memorize a speech the smart way, let’s look at the two most common mistakes many of us tend to make while preparing for a speech.

Complete Memorization

In an attempt to ensure they remember every detail, many people aim to completely memorize their speech. They practice it over and over until they have every single word burned into their brain.

In many ways, this is understandable because most of us are naturally frightened of having to give a speech. When the time comes, we want to be completely and totally prepared and not make any mistakes.

While this makes a lot of sense, it also comes with its own negative side. The downside to having your speech memorized word for word is that you sound like a robot when delivering the speech. You become so focused on remembering every single part that you lose the ability to inflect your speech to varying degrees, and free form the talk a bit when the situation warrants.

Lack of Preparation

The other side of the coin to complete memorization is people who don’t prepare enough. Because they don’t want to come off sounding like a robot, they decide they will mostly “wing it”.

Sometimes they will write a few main points down on a piece of paper to remind themselves. They figure once they get going, the details will somehow fill themselves in under the big talking points while they are doing the talking.

The problem is that unless this is a topic you know inside and out and have spoken on it many times, you’ll wind up missing key points. It’s almost a given that as soon as you are done with your speech, you’ll remember many things you should have brought up while talking.

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There’s a good balance to be had between over and under preparing. Let’s now look at how to memorize a speech the smart way.

How to Memorize a Speech (Step-by-Step Guide)

1. Write Out Your Speech

The first step in the process is to simply write out your speech.

Many people like to write out the entire speech. Other people are more inclined to write their speech outline style. Whichever way your brain works best is the way you should write your speech.

Personally, I like to break things down into the primary points I want to make, and then back up each major point with several details. Because my mind works this way, I tend to write out speeches, and articles for that matter, by doing an outline.

Once I have the outline completed, I will then fill in several bullet points to back up each big topic.

For instance, if I was going to give a speech on how to get in better shape my outline would look something like this:

Benefits of being in shape

  • Point #1
  • Point #2
  • Point #3

Exercise

  • Point #1
  • Point #2
  • Point #3

Diet

  • Point #1
  • Point #2
  • Point #3

Rest and hydration

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  • Point #1
  • Point #2
  • Point #3

ConclusionNo need for points here, just a few sentences wrapping things up.

As you might imagine, this step typically is the hardest because it’s not only the first step but it also involves the initial creation of the speech.

2. Rehearse Your Speech

Now that you’ve written your speech, or outline, it’s time to start saying it out loud. It’s completely fine to simply read what you’ve written line by line at this point. What you are working on doing is getting the outline and getting a feel for the speech.

If you’ve written the entire speech out, you’ll be editing it while you are rehearsing it. Many times as we say things out loud, we realize that what we wrote needs to be changed and altered. This is how we work towards having a well rounded and smooth speech. Feel free to change things as needed while you are rehearsing your speech.

If you are like me and you’ve written the outline, this is where some of the supporting bullet points will begin to come out. Normally, I will have written several bullet points under each main topic. But as I say it out loud, I will begin to fill in more and more details. I might scratch certain bullet points and add others. I might think of something new at this stage while I am listening to myself and want to add it.

The key to remember here is that you laying the foundation for your awesome speech. At this point, it’s a work in progress, you are getting the key pieces in place.

3. Memorize the Bigger Parts

As you are rehearsing your speech, you want to focus on memorizing the bigger parts, or the main points.

Going back to my example of how to get in better shape, I’d want to ensure I have memorized my primary points. These include the benefits of being in shape, exercise, diet, rest and hydration, and the conclusion. These are the main points I want to make and I will then fill in further details. I’ve got to ensure I know these very well first and foremost.

By practicing your major points, you are building the framework for your speech. After you have this solid outline in place, you’ll continue by adding in the details to round things out.

4. Fill In the Details

Now that you have the big chunks memorized, it’s time to work on memorizing the details. These detail points will provide support and context for your major points. You can work on this all at once or break it down to the details that support each major point.

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For example, the details I might have under the “exercise” big point might include such things as cardio, weights, how many times a week to exercise, how long to actually exercise, and several examples of actual exercises. In this example, I have 5 detail points to memorize to support my major point of “exercise”.

It’s a good idea to test yourself regularly as you are rehearsing your speech. Ask yourself:

What are the 5 detail points I want to talk about that support my 3rd main point?

You need to be able to fire those off quickly. Until you can do this, you won’t be able to associate each of the details with the main point.

You have to be able to have them grouped together in your mind so that it comes out naturally in your speech. So that when you think of main point #2, you automatically think of the 4 supporting details associated with it.

Keep working at this stage until you can run through your speech completely several times and remember all of your big points and the supporting details.

Once you can do that with relative ease, it will be time for the final step, working on your delivery.

5. Work on Your Delivery

You’ve got the bulk of the work done now. You’ve written your speech and rehearsed enough times to have not only your main points memorized but also your supporting details. In short, you should have your speech almost done.

There’s one more step in how to memorize a speech the smart way. The final component is to work on how you deliver your speech.

For the most part, you can go give your speech now. After all, you have it memorized. If you want to ensure you do it right, you’ll want to hone how you are delivering your speech.

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You work on your delivery by rehearsing and running through it a number of times and making tweaks along the way. These tweaks or changes may be are’s where you’d want to pause for effect.

If you’ve found you have used one word 5 times in one paragraph, you might want to swap it out for a similar word a few times to keep it fresh.

Sometimes while working on this part, I’ve thought of a great story that’s happened to me that I can incorporate to make my point even better.

When you work on your delivery, you are basically giving your speech a personality as well.

The Bottom Line

And there you have it, a step by step approach on how to memorize a speech the smart way.

The next time you are asked to give a speech don’t let glossophobia rear its familiar head. Instead, remember this easy to use guide to help craft a powerful speech.

Using the method shown here will help you deliver your next speech with increased confidence.

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Featured photo credit: Anna Sullivan via unsplash.com

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