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Meditation Demystified: 3 Easy Tips to Get it Right

Meditation Demystified: 3 Easy Tips to Get it Right
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Throughout my life (and I assume just about everyone’s life!) I’ve tried many different things to improve myself. Usually, I’m looking for ways to reduce my stress levels, develop better habits and think more positively – basically to be a happier person.

I’ve tried keeping a bullet journal (didn’t work for me), hypnotizing myself to eat less dessert (nope), reading a million self-help books (hit and miss), downloading productivity apps (which usually distract me from actually working). A lot of these things were either hogwash or just weren’t for me (some of my friends really like bullet journals!)

The one thing I’m fully confident of, the one thing that actually worked for me is meditation. Over the last year, I’ve been meditating consistently for 15 minutes a day. How has it changed me? I’m generally less stressful about insignificant things, I’m more focused at work, and my personal relationships are the strongest they’ve been in my entire life.

It has definitely changed me for the better.

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The Health Benefits of Meditation

You should start meditating today, if you’re not already. The benefits I’ve seen from meditation have been profound, but that’s merely an anecdote. What does the science say?

The scientific community has come to the resounding consensus that meditation is good for you (duh!) People have known this for centuries, but now scientific studies are finally catching up. Meditation helps us manage stress, reduce anxiety, and in some cases prevent depression.

People who meditate are generally less distracted and can focus on tasks for greater periods of time. Basically, it helps you work harder and for longer periods of time.

Another interesting scientific finding on meditation is that it can aid in drug recovery. Studies have shown for a long time that stressful situations and experiences can lead to relapse in recovering addicts. Now we’re beginning to understand that meditation can be a powerful tool to deal with stress and prevent relapses.

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Common elements among all meditation styles

There are many different meditation techniques out there, as well as schools of thought on the theory behind meditation. One book on meditation will tell you one thing, and the next book will tell you another. My suggestion to you, for now, is to ignore all that noise and just begin your meditation practice. You can always learn the theory and try new techniques later.

The different schools of meditation thought all share a few common elements regarding meditation. To summarize these points, we can say that meditation consists of three things:

  1. A peaceful, quiet area in which you can meditate. Perhaps this is a special room in your house or if you’re trying to meditate at work, an unused conference room. The important thing is that you feel safe, it’s quiet, and people aren’t coming and going in it, which could distract you from your practice.
  2. A comfortable meditation posture. Some people will recommend sitting cross-legged on a pillow on the floor, your back straight. Some will recommend sitting on the edge of a chair. Still others will recommend lying on the ground. At this point in your meditation practice, it doesn’t matter. Choose a posture in which you’ll be comfortable for up to 15 minutes – but not too comfortable or else you might fall asleep!
  3. An object on which you can focus your mind. Many people mistakenly believe that to meditate means to clear your mind of all thoughts, everything. While this is the end goal for many meditation practitioners, it’s not something many people can or want to achieve when they first begin meditating. Instead of thinking of nothing, fill your mind with a relaxed focus on one object. This can be nearly anything: your breath, the tip of your nose, the repetition in your mind of a few words (AKA a “mantra”). The important thing is to fix your mind on this object and try to not let your mind wander away from it.

After you’ve achieved these three fundamentals, resolve to meditate for a set period of time -10 minutes is a good place to start. After 10 minutes is up, pat yourself on the back. You’ve completed your first meditation session!

Your First Meditation Routine

The last section showed you how there’s no one correct way to meditate. Many different paths and techniques are available to you as you embark upon your meditation quest. Find your own way; there’s no real way to do meditation wrong, as long as you dedicate time and effort to your practice.

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I did, however, want to share one meditation routine that has worked well for me and will work well for beginners. But feel free to modify it as you see fit!

Beginner Meditation Routine

When: Morning, soon after you wake up. (Meditating early in the morning will help you to maintain the peace you gained in your session with you throughout your day.)

Where: On the floor in your bedroom

Posture: Sit upright. Use a balled up pillow if the floor is hard or your hips aren’t flexible

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Time: Set a timer on your phone for 10 minutes. Cease meditation when it goes off

Objective: Breath through your nose. Focus your mind on your breathing in and out. Focus especially on the sensation of the breath entering and leaving your nostrils. When your mind wanders from the sensation of the breath, gently lead it back to your objective.

One Last Thing to Consider: Guided meditation

Before I leave you to begin meditating, I wanted to throw one last thing out there. If you’re having trouble focusing throughout a short meditation session, consider doing a guided meditation. Guided meditation is simply meditating while someone else guides you through what you should be focusing on, how you should be breathing, etc. When I first began meditation, following guided instructions were invaluable in focusing my attention on my meditation session.

You can either use a recording of a guided meditation. (Look on YouTube and Spotify for high quality and free recordings.) Or you can attend a class at a local meditation center.

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Featured photo credit: Pixabay via pixabay.com

More by this author

Tom Casano

The CEO and Founder of Life Coach Spotter

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Published on November 23, 2020

How to Develop Big Picture Thinking And Think More Clearly

How to Develop Big Picture Thinking And Think More Clearly
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Your neighbors downstairs are playing loud music. Again. How do they not get tired of partying? And why do they choose songs with such a heavy downbeat that the glass in your cupboard is vibrating every two seconds? What can you do to get some peace that you deserve? What should you?

Human mind tends to go in circles whenever faced with a problem without a clear solution. It becomes easy to forget the big picture and get lost in anger and self-pity, wasting our precious time, energy and enthusiasm.

Would it not be nice if we always remembered to put things in perspective?

Would it not be more efficient to face all kinds of problems, from tiny annoyances to life-changing emergencies, with a calm demeanor, sharp focus and fearless determination to promptly take the most efficient action possible?

Alas, humans are not like that. All too often we let anxiety or greed get the best of us and make a rushed or shortsighted decision that we quickly come to regret. Other times, we spend weeks or months at an impasse, rehashing the exact same arguments, unable to accept the compromise required to move forward with any of the available options.

Buddhists talk about getting lost in the “small self.” In this state of mind, we literally forget the big picture and focus on the small one. We start taking our daily problems too personally and, paradoxically, becomes less capable of solving them in an efficient manner. And this is the opposite of big picture thinking.

Let me share with you a story related to big picture thinking…

In 1812, the French army of Napoleon Bonaparte invaded Russia.[1] After a decisive Battle of Borodino, the capture of Moscow and therefore Napoleon’s victory in the war seemed inevitable.

Unexpectedly, the Russian Commander-in-Chief Mikhail Kutuzov made a highly controversial decision of retreating and allowing the French to capture Moscow. Much of the population had been evacuated taking supplies with them. The city itself was set on fire and large parts of it burned into the ground.

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After waiting in vain for Russia to capitulate, Napoleon had to retreat in the middle of a bitterly cold winter. He won the battle but lost the war. The campaign ended in a disaster and the near destruction of the French army.

What can we learn from this historical lesson?

1. Focus on the Consequences

Napoleon focused on the important part: capturing Moscow. Nobody could accuse him of thinking small. Yet he overlooked that the Russian army could still fight even after giving up the country’s most important city.

So was Moscow not an important target after all?

Success expert Brian Tracy has a litmus test: things are important to the extent that they have important consequences. Things are unimportant to the extent that they have no important consequences.[2]

When faced with a choice, ask yourself, what would be the consequences of each option?

  • Want to spend an hour studying or watching the new series on Netflix? What would be the consequences of each option? Netflix can sometimes be a better choice, but it helps to put things in perspective.
  • Want to maintain your apartment by yourself or to pay a cleaning service? Would would be the consequences of each option?
  • Want to meet up for coffee with this acquaintance of yours or catch up on your work instead? What would be the consequences of each option?

The choice can be different for different people. An aspiring filmmaker may have a legitimate reason for choosing Netflix. Personally, cleaning your own apartment can be relaxing and nourishing even if the economics of hiring a cleaner looks compelling because you are earning a high hourly rate.

This is where you will need a basic idea of who you are — what are your goals, values and aspirations.

2. Flip Defeat Into Victory

Kutuzov managed to turn Russia’s defeat into a historic victory by recasting the problem in a wider context: losing Moscow need not mean losing the war.

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Despite the symbolic meaning attached to the Kremlin, the churches, the priceless treasures that had been stored in the city for centuries, the outcome of the campaign was ultimately determined by the strength of the remaining armies.

If you can adopt this result-oriented perspective, many of your personal defeats may be flipped into victories as well. Few events in a human life are absolutely good or absolutely bad, and it usually takes many years to recognize in retrospect, what role a particular encounter did play in your story.

Therefore we have every reason to look for the good in the things that happen to us.

This is a very practical attitude, far from baseless “positive thinking.” After all, if something unfortunate has happened to you and you find good sides in this circumstance, you will then be better positioned to take advantage of those good sides.

Say your noisy neighbors are affecting your productivity. What if it is a blessing in disguise? How can you turn this defeat into a victory?

  • Perhaps you are too serious about life and could learn how to have more fun. Join your neighbors or go out for a walk instead of working;
  • Perhaps you only wanted to be productive while instead procrastinated on social media. Now that your procrastination has been interrupted, stop and acknowledge this much greater obstacle to your productivity;
  • Perhaps you are too sensitive to interference. Take this opportunity to practice ignoring the noise and doing your best anyway;
  • Perhaps you have a victim mentality and the feeling of unfairness drains you more than any actual nuisance your neighbors might have caused. Try accepting this lapse in your productivity the way you would accept bad weather.

Get used to finding opportunities in your problems. This is the quintessential big picture thinking.

3. Ask for Advice

Both Napoleon and Kutuzov had trusted advisers to discuss their affairs with. In general, getting a different perspective — or several — can only help inform your understanding and lead to better decisions. Just ensure that the people giving you advice are competent in the particular area where experience is needed.

Paying money for advice can also be a wise investment. Lawyers, tax accountants, medical doctors spend years learning how to assist people like yourself in living more successful, more fulfilling lives.

A quick legal consultation can save you a fortune down the line or even keep you out of big trouble. A medical check-up can uncover potential issues and help keep you healthy and active for years to come.

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Even big, complex dilemmas at your job or in your romantic relationship can be tackled more effectively by partnering up with a coach or a therapist or, of course, with the help of a wise friend.

4. Beware of Biased Advice

Many imperfect decisions occur in response to an imperfect piece of advice that you choose to act on. This advice often comes from a biased party.

For example, we are often encouraged to buy something that we supposedly need:

  • Protect your skin from harmful UV rays by using a special lotion.
  • Fortify your health by taking multivitamins.
  • Connect with your friends by sending them elaborate gifts.
  • Brighten your weekend by consuming a delicious pastry.
  • Become more productive by getting a faster computer.

However, most purchases are unnecessary.

Some, such as the sunscreen, do have legitimate benefits when used properly.[3] Others, such as multivitamins, only make a difference for a small group of people.[4]

Advertisers of those benefits inevitably want to narrow your focus in order to overstate the importance of their product. They frequently present it as the only solution to your problem, whether real or imaginary.

After all,

  • Skin can also be protected from the sun by wearing appropriate clothing.
  • Health can be better fortified by consuming a balanced diet and getting regular exercise.
  • Spending time or talking on the phone with your friends is the foremost way of connecting with them, and it is virtually free.
  • Your weekend can be brightened by doing something that you love.
  • You can become more productive by focusing on the tasks that have the most important consequences. A faster computer can, in fact, decrease productivity by making it easier to multitask and by enabling your favorite distractions.

There are other sources of imperfect advice. Politicians also frequently want us to focus on a particular “big picture,” to the exclusion of the alternatives.

Even loving parents can be guilty of the same. They can advise their children to pick a career path that is safe and respectable, based on their “big picture” that in life one has to make a living. A child may disagree, however, based on another “big picture” that one’s life has to have meaning and fulfillment.

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Bottom Line

It is human nature to make rushed, emotional decisions based on incomplete information, then regret those decisions later on.

You can protect yourself from poor judgment by striving to attain the big picture when careful consideration is called for.

Focus on the consequences of your decision before considering how you feel about it.

Play with the cards you’ve been dealt, but look for opportunities in each situation and you will find them.

Ask knowledgeable mentors for advice, but beware of biased people who have an opinion, but do not necessarily have your best interest in mind.

Yet remember, true big picture thinking comes from hard-won experience. Legendary military commanders Napoleon Bonaparte and Mikhail Kutuzov were both injured on the battlefield.

Clear thinking comes from putting your big picture to the test of reality.

More Tips on Thinking Clearly

Featured photo credit: Haneen Krimly via unsplash.com

Reference

[1] Wikipedia: French invasion of Russia
[2] Brian Tracy: No Excuses!: The Power of Self-Discipline
[3] American Academy of Dermatology: Say Yes to Sun Protection
[4] Harvard Medical School: Do multivitamins make you healthier?

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