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Psychologists Find Quarter-Life Crisis Is the Hardest One in Our Lives

Psychologists Find Quarter-Life Crisis Is the Hardest One in Our Lives

We so often hear of the “mid-life crisis” — in TV shows, in jest, and in real life. But what about the lesser talked about crisis — the one of our mid twenties, our quarter life? Some may know it as the “saturn return”; others simply as the realization of turning 30 and that we are not “kids” anymore. But psychologists are saying that this particular crisis may actually be the most profound crisis point of our lives.

According to the Harvard Business Review researchers (as seen in graph below), there was a significant amount of stress that increased among thousands of test studies in their late twenties, or from the age of around 25. And even though the stress levels did keep rising through their 30s and 40s, the time in which those levels increased was significantly shorter than the rapid increase of stress of the quarter-life crisis time.

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    This graph indicates the steep incline of stress as it hits around the 25–34 mark. And although it shows clearly that the stress levels continue to rise before they again fall around the late 50s, the graph indicates that the incline is slower everywhere else but the late 20s.

    Negative Feelings and Wandering Mind

    Negative feelings decrease in your late 30s, signalling that our 30s is when we learn to deal with stress and cope in a positive way. Positive feelings nearly hit absolute bottom at the quarter-life mark, but afterward, they begin to constantly increase. General satisfaction with life also starts low in your 20s but increases from thereon in, leading psychologists to believe that the late twenties is the time to understand how we recognize and deal with our emotions in the best ways.

    The Five Phases of a Quarter-Life Crisis

    According to scientists there are five phases of a quarter-life crisis. These are:

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    Phase 1: Feeling as if you are living your life automatically and are powerless to stop it or regain control. You might feel trapped or unable to know which way to move or how you got where you are.

    Phase 2: A distinct creeping feeling that you want to “get out” or run for the hills and somehow change your life.

    Phase 3: Taking time out suddenly to explore the world, explore yourself, or “find yourself” as they say. Suddenly making flip decisions to leave whatever it is you are doing at that moment and to embark on a journey that helps you understand the crisis better.

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    Phase 4: Putting your life back together in a way that you actually want, rebuilding it in a new way.

    Phase 5: Developing fundamental ways to understand and perform better your new and developed choices. Having new commitments that better represent you and the things you really want.

    80% of people who went through such a crisis said that they came out the other side better. The quarter-life crisis can be the most astounding and profound time of your life in terms of making your life into what you want it to be — and trimming the fat from all unnecessary areas.

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    People deal with pain in a myriad of ways, but we should always use these times to better understand ourselves. How are we feeling? Why do we feel this way? What is within our own control? What is NOT in our control? How do we feel about ourselves? How does what we put out affect what we receive?

    These are the things we should be thinking about when we are dealing with our own happiness. And part of our happiness is determined by the autonomy that we have over our own choices and our own life. We must be the masters of our own destiny, and we do so by being inherently honest with ourselves and by truly listening to who we really are.

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    Last Updated on November 15, 2018

    Success In Reaching Goals Is Determined By Mindset

    Success In Reaching Goals Is Determined By Mindset

    What do you think it takes to achieve your goals? Hard work? Lots of actions? While these are paramount to becoming successful in reaching our goals, neither of these are possible without a positive mindset.

    As humans, we naturally tend to lean towards a negative outlook when it comes to our hopes and dreams. We are prone to believing that we have limitations either from within ourselves or from external forces keeping us from truly getting to where we want to be in life. Our tendency to think that we’ll “believe it when we see it” suggests that our mindsets are focused on our goals not really being attainable until they’ve been achieved. The problem with this is that this common mindset fuels our limiting beliefs and shows a lack of faith in ourselves.

    The Success Mindset

    Success in achieving our goals comes down to a ‘success mindset’. Successful mindsets are those focused on victory, based on positive mental attitudes, empowering inclinations and good habits. Acquiring a success mindset is the sure-fire way to dramatically increase your chance to achieve your goals.

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    The idea that achieving our goals comes down to our habits and actions is actually a typical type of mindset that misses a crucial point; that our mindset is, in fact, the determiner of our energy and what actions we take. A negative mindset will tend to create negative actions and similarly if we have a mindset that will only set into action once we see ‘proof’ that our goals are achievable, then the road will be much longer and arduous. This is why, instead of thinking “I’ll believe it when I see it”, a success mindset will think “I’ll see it when I believe it.”

    The Placebo Effect and What It Shows Us About The Power of Mindset

    The placebo effect is a perfect example of how mindset really can be powerful. In scientific trials, a group of participants were told they received medication that will heal an ailment but were actually given a sugar pill that does nothing (the placebo). Yet after the trial the participants believed it’s had a positive effect – sometimes even cured their ailment even though nothing has changed. This is the power of mindset.

    How do we apply this to our goals? Well, when we set goals and dreams how often do we really believe they’ll come to fruition? Have absolute faith that they can be achieved? Have a complete unwavering expectation? Most of us don’t because we hold on to negative mindsets and limiting beliefs about ourselves that stop us from fully believing we are capable or that it’s at all possible. We tend to listen to the opinions of others despite them misaligning with our own or bow to societal pressures that make us believe we should think and act a certain way. There are many reasons why we possess these types of mindsets but a success mindset can be achieved.

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    How To Create a Success Mindset

    People with success mindsets have a particular way of perceiving things. They have positive outlooks and are able to put faith fully in their ability to succeed. With that in mind, here are a few ways that can turn a negative mindset into a successful one.

    1. A Success Mindset Comes From a Growth Mindset

    How does a mindset even manifest itself? It comes from the way you talk to yourself in the privacy of your own head. Realising this will go a long way towards noticing how you speak to yourself and others around you. If it’s mainly negative language you use when you talk about your goals and aspirations then this is an example of a fixed mindset.

    A negative mindset brings with it a huge number of limiting beliefs. It creates a fixed mindset – one that can’t see beyond it’s own limitations. A growth mindset sees these limitations and looks beyond them – it finds ways to overcome obstacles and believes that this will result in success. When you think of your goal, a fixed mindset may think “what if I fail?” A growth mindset would look at the same goal and think “failures happen but that doesn’t mean I won’t be successful.”

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    There’s a lot of power in changing your perspective.

    2. Look For The Successes

    It’s really important to get your mind focused on positive aspects of your goal. Finding inspiration through others can be really uplifting and keep you on track with developing your success mindset; reinforcing your belief that your dreams can be achieved. Find people that you can talk with about how they achieved their goals and seek out and surround yourself with positive people. This is crucial if you’re learning to develop a positive mindset.

    3. Eliminate Negativity

    You can come up against a lot of negativity sometimes either through other people or within yourself. Understanding that other people’s negative opinions are created through their own fears and limiting beliefs will go a long way in sustaining your success mindset. But for a lot of us, negative chatter can come from within and these usually manifest as negative words such as can’t, won’t, shouldn’t. Sometimes, when we think of how we’re going to achieve our goals, statements in our minds come out as negative absolutes: ‘It never works out for me’ or ‘I always fail.’

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    When you notice these coming up you need to turn them around with ‘It always works out for me!’ and ‘I never fail!’ The trick is to believe it no matter what’s happened in the past. Remember that every new day is a clean slate and for you to adjust your mindset.

    4. Create a Vision

    Envisioning your end goal and seeing it in your mind is an important trait of a success mindset. Allowing ourselves to imagine our success creates a powerful excitement that shouldn’t be underestimated. When our brain becomes excited at the thought of achieving our goals, we become more committed, work harder towards achieving it and more likely to do whatever it takes to make it happen.

    If this involves creating a vision board that you can look at to remind yourself every day then go for it. Small techniques like this go a long way in sustaining your success mindset and shouldn’t be dismissed.

    An Inspirational Story…

    For centuries experts said that running a mile in under 4 minutes was humanly impossible. On the 6th May 1954, Rodger Bannister did just that. As part of his training, Bannister relentlessly visualised the achievement, believing he could accomplish what everyone said wasn’t possible…and he did it.

    What’s more amazing is that, as soon as Bannister achieved the 4-minute mile, more and more people also achieved it. How was this possible after so many years of no one achieving it? Because in people’s minds it was suddenly possible – once people knew that it was achievable it created a mindset of success and now, after over fifty years since Bannister did the ‘impossible’, his record has been lowered by 17 seconds – the power of the success mindset!

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