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Psychologists Find Quarter-Life Crisis Is the Hardest One in Our Lives

Psychologists Find Quarter-Life Crisis Is the Hardest One in Our Lives

We so often hear of the “mid-life crisis” — in TV shows, in jest, and in real life. But what about the lesser talked about crisis — the one of our mid twenties, our quarter life? Some may know it as the “saturn return”; others simply as the realization of turning 30 and that we are not “kids” anymore. But psychologists are saying that this particular crisis may actually be the most profound crisis point of our lives.

According to the Harvard Business Review researchers (as seen in graph below), there was a significant amount of stress that increased among thousands of test studies in their late twenties, or from the age of around 25. And even though the stress levels did keep rising through their 30s and 40s, the time in which those levels increased was significantly shorter than the rapid increase of stress of the quarter-life crisis time.

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    This graph indicates the steep incline of stress as it hits around the 25–34 mark. And although it shows clearly that the stress levels continue to rise before they again fall around the late 50s, the graph indicates that the incline is slower everywhere else but the late 20s.

    Negative Feelings and Wandering Mind

    Negative feelings decrease in your late 30s, signalling that our 30s is when we learn to deal with stress and cope in a positive way. Positive feelings nearly hit absolute bottom at the quarter-life mark, but afterward, they begin to constantly increase. General satisfaction with life also starts low in your 20s but increases from thereon in, leading psychologists to believe that the late twenties is the time to understand how we recognize and deal with our emotions in the best ways.

    The Five Phases of a Quarter-Life Crisis

    According to scientists there are five phases of a quarter-life crisis. These are:

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    Phase 1: Feeling as if you are living your life automatically and are powerless to stop it or regain control. You might feel trapped or unable to know which way to move or how you got where you are.

    Phase 2: A distinct creeping feeling that you want to “get out” or run for the hills and somehow change your life.

    Phase 3: Taking time out suddenly to explore the world, explore yourself, or “find yourself” as they say. Suddenly making flip decisions to leave whatever it is you are doing at that moment and to embark on a journey that helps you understand the crisis better.

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    Phase 4: Putting your life back together in a way that you actually want, rebuilding it in a new way.

    Phase 5: Developing fundamental ways to understand and perform better your new and developed choices. Having new commitments that better represent you and the things you really want.

    80% of people who went through such a crisis said that they came out the other side better. The quarter-life crisis can be the most astounding and profound time of your life in terms of making your life into what you want it to be — and trimming the fat from all unnecessary areas.

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    People deal with pain in a myriad of ways, but we should always use these times to better understand ourselves. How are we feeling? Why do we feel this way? What is within our own control? What is NOT in our control? How do we feel about ourselves? How does what we put out affect what we receive?

    These are the things we should be thinking about when we are dealing with our own happiness. And part of our happiness is determined by the autonomy that we have over our own choices and our own life. We must be the masters of our own destiny, and we do so by being inherently honest with ourselves and by truly listening to who we really are.

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    Last Updated on July 10, 2020

    How to Reinvent Yourself and Change Your Life

    How to Reinvent Yourself and Change Your Life

    There will always be times in your life when you may need to learn how to reinvent yourself. This could come when you experience a big change, such as leaving your job, moving on from a relationship, transferring to a new home, or losing a loved one. If you are going through a major shift in your life, you may have to find new ways of thinking or doing things, or risk failing to reach your full potential.

    “When something bad happens, you have three choices. You can let it define you, let it destroy you, or you can let it strengthen you.”

    Many people who dared to leave their old unhappy lives enabled themselves to pursue their passions and find a renewed zest for living. You can also achieve the same if you take a leap of faith and make things happen for yourself.

    To help you always be at your best wherever you may be in your life, here are some practical tips on how to reinvent yourself.

    The Reinvention Checklist

    Before embarking on a journey of self-reinvention, you need to make sure that you have everything that you need to make the trip bump-proof. These things include:

    Resilience

    Problems and obstacles are guaranteed to happen. Some of them will be difficult and may knock you off course; the important thing, however, is that you learn from these difficulties, never lose focus, and always get back up. This requires building resilience to get through the tough times.

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    Support

    Humans are social beings. Although it is important that you learn to rely on yourself when facing any challenge, it is also important to have a support team that you can lean on to give you a boost when things get too tough and to correct you when you’re making mistakes.

    The key is to find the right balance between independence and dependence. Don’t be afraid to be vulnerable and share the difficulties you’re facing. When you open up, you’ll find the people who are really going to be there for you.

    Self-Care

    During the process of learning how to reinvent yourself, you will have to pull yourself away from your old comfort zones, habits, roles, and self-perceptions. This can be difficult and cause you to question your self-worth, so it’s important to engage in self-care to maintain a positive outlook and keep your mind and body healthy as you face the challenges that await you. Self-care can include:

    • Participating in a hobby you enjoy
    • Spending time with your support system
    • Taking some time to walk in nature
    • Practicing loving-kindness meditation

    Find what works for you and what helps you feel like your true self as you seek a reinvented version of you.

    How to Reinvent Yourself

    Once you’re sure that you’re equipped with all the tools in the self-reinvention checklist, you can begin your journey of learning how to reinvent yourself.

    1. Discover Your Strengths

    This step provides valuable information on how you deal with certain situations. If you have this information, you will be able to manage difficulties more efficiently.

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    To find out what your strengths are, you can ask your friends and colleagues for feedback, engage in self-reflection, or try these 10 Ways to Find Your Own Personal Strengths.

    2. Plan

    This step calls for a thorough assessment of your current emotional, psychological, and financial status so that you can develop plans that are realistic and practical.

    It’s okay to have ambitious dreams, but your plans have to be realistic. Making use of SMART goals can help you plan your life better.

    You can also consult your mentor or life coach for practical tips and advice.

    Ultimately, you’ll want to create specific long-term and short-term goals that you can create milestones for. By doing this, you’ll lay out a specific roadmap to your reinvented self.

    3. Try Things Out

    Sometimes, we don’t know if solutions actually work until we try them out. This is why it is important to experiment whenever possible, especially if you’re dealing with a career change. You may need to simply experiment in order to find the things you like. This can be the same with hobbies. If you’re not sure what you would like doing, accept invitations from friends to join them in their favorite sport or take a class, like pottery or photography.

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    By seeing what’s out there in any area of your life, you’ll have a better chance of finding the things you enjoy and the goals you want to create.

    4. Manage Your Finances Well

    Changes may require a bit of money. If you’re shifting to a new career, you may have to pay for training. If you’re going through a tough divorce or having a hard time dealing with the death of a loved one, you may have to pay for therapy. If you’re moving to a new home, you’ll definitely have to pay a whole lot of expenses.

    All of these things are possible, but it will require a bit of money savviness as you learn how to reinvent yourself. If you have that cushion, you’ll feel more comfortable straying from your current path to try new things.

    5. Muster Your Courage

    Fears and self-doubt may arise when you encounter difficulties and setbacks. Sometimes, they may also come when you’re taking risks. You have to manage these negative emotions well and not allow them to discourage you. Tap into your courage and try doing at least one new thing each week to develop it.

    Learn how to deal with your self-doubts to move forward in this article: How Self Doubt Keeps You Stuck (And How to Overcome It)

    6. Use Your Support Group

    As stated above, you need to build a strong support group before you even start the process of reinventing yourself. Your group will keep you from taking wrong turns and encourage you when you get too weighed down by problems. Don’t be afraid to call them, or even ask them out for coffee if you need to vent about the current difficulties you’re facing.

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    7. Remind Yourself Every Day of Your Commitment

    Write your goals on different-sized cards and scatter them at home and at work in places where you can easily see them. This way, you will constantly be reminded of where you want to be. Remember, writing down your goals helps them stick[1].

    8. Accept Failure, Learn, and Resume Your Journey

    Failing is normal, especially when we’re trying out something new. When you fail, simply recognize it, learn from it, and move on. Failure, in the end, is the best way to learn what does and doesn’t work, and you simply won’t be able to learn how to reinvent yourself if you don’t accept the inevitable failures that await you.

    Final Thoughts

    If you truly want to learn how to reinvent yourself and live the life you desire, take the advice above and start taking action. It will take time, patience, and plenty of effort to make the change you want happen, but it will be all worth it.

    More Tips on How to Reinvent Yourself

    Featured photo credit: Ashley Rich via unsplash.com

    Reference

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